A/N: Virgin fandom challenge at Temps Mort, and thusly my first Fruits Basket fic. It's a weird little thing, but hey, at least I finished it, right? I haven't written a full fic in way too long.



"Break It"



You say that you love me.

Can't believe you. Can't trust you.

You ask me why. How can you not remember? You betrayed me. Betrayed him.

You said you loved me before. He said he loved him.

I loved you. He loved you. Loved him. Still love you, still love him.

But you hurt me, and he hurt him, and we are hurting each other, I think.

But you still look at me and say you love me. Say you need me and want me and miss me when I go off and train. But he said that to him. He said "Love you, love you forever, you're beautiful, you make me happy."

And he lied. Tricked him, tricked me. And it hurt. And then no one else wanted him, wanted me.

You say that you love me and I laugh, because you don't even know what that means. And I cry, because I want to say it back. But I can't trust you.

Because you are the Rat. You are the Rat and the Rat tricked the Cat, so the Cat hates the Rat. And even if it weren't for that . . . even if this hatred did not go back hundreds and hundreds of years . . .

Even if the Cat and Rat had never had their falling out, even if we had gotten along all of this time, I still couldn't trust you.

Because I am weaker than you. Because you don't respect me. So I can't protect you and even if I could you would never have enough faith in me to let me try. And I can't believe in this kind of love existing without respect.

So I don't believe you.

And I will never believe you.







I am so in love with you that it hurts.

And you are strong. You can protect me. And I respect you. So sometimes I can let you.

But I can't let you have me.

Because a cat let a rat have him once before . . . and they and all of their kind have been enemies ever since. And I don't want to know what would happen this time. How much worse it could be.

Because I . . . feel things for you. And I don't want those things to be twisted or tainted by hate.

In fact, it seems that I really do love you. I love you a lot. I love you and I don't want you to forget that, even though you can't have me and I can't have you.



And all of your sympathy is a lie, and your respect is something that I will probably never earn.

So I love you and you think that you love me. So where does that put us, exactly?

Love you, hate you, whatever. I still feel the same about you. Both feelings are passionate, both make me think of you and make me upset around you. Both are strong and hard to hide.

I don't want to hide. I'm not that kind of person. Maybe I react to pain with anger instead of tears, but that doesn't mean that I don't admit it exists.

"I love you, Kyou," you say. And I know how much it costs you, because I know how distant you are from most people. I know how little you have experienced in the realm of emotion.

But I laugh anyway. And that hurts you.

It seems that this time it's the Cat who's betraying the Rat. And I fucking hate cycles.

So I say something I promised myself I never would. Because I don't want to see you suffer. I don't want to see you in pain, even if you don't respect me and won't let me protect you. I say it and I know that I mean it, whatever your own feelings really are.

"I love you too, Yuki."



* ende *



. : "a cat crying over the death of a rat? that's false sympathy . . ." ~ strings of fate : .