Disclaimer: Butch Hartman's the guy who owns "The Fairly OddParents!", not me. I don't own "Halloween is Grinch Night!", either. Heck, I don't own anything mentioned or appearing in this.
Author's Note: This fanfic is a parody of the TV special "Halloween is Grinch Night!" This fanfic is, of course, short compared to Super Bowser, and that's not just in length. While it took me months to make Super Bowser, I wrote this whole story within one weekend! Odd, isn't it? I actually had to buy the "Green Eggs and Ham and Other Favorites" DVD (which includes "Halloween is Grinch Night!") to use for reference in this. 'Course, now I'm gonna need to figure out what to do with that DVD now that I've used it for what I needed it for. Maybe I should just not watch it unless I'm really really bored. By the way, I was originally going to publish this on All Hallows' Eve (a.k.a. Halloween), but since I've just finished it, why not just put it up ASAP? Besides, Nick's re-airing the "Scary Godparents!" episode tonight, so this particular date seemed like the best time to publish a Halloween-themed story starring the Fairly OddParents! That said...
Nintendo Maximus Presents...
Every kid down in Dimmsdale liked Christmas a lot. But... they'd have to wait about two months for it, because it wasn't quite Christmastime yet. In fact, tonight was going to be a particularly nasty night.
It all began during the sunset of that particular night, at the site of one particular house where an average ten-year-old boy with a pink hat was raking leaves. Now although kids were more fond of jumping into leaf piles rather than raking them up, Timmy Turner was acting rather different. He was singing as he, along with his fairy godparents, worked on those leaves.
"In English, cat, hat. In French, chat,
chapeau," he sang.
"In Spanish, el gato in a sombrero!"
"Oh, for Pete's sake, Timmy!" griped Wanda, who was masquerading as Timmy's scarf. "Do you have to sing while you do yard work?"
"I can't help it," Timmy admitted. "For some reason, I feel like singing tonight."
"Yeah! I agree!" agreed Cosmo, who was disguised as a rake. "I think that's a rather catchy tune he's singing!"
Just then, the wind started blowing like crazy in their faces. Timmy could only watch, his brown hair blowing in the breeze, as the wind picked up all the leaves and took them into the distant mountains in the background of Dimmsdale.
"Looks like there's some weird weather tonight," said Wanda.
"Odd... I have a feeling that says this wind means that evil is coming," Cosmo said uncharacteristically.
Timmy and Wanda looked strangely at Cosmo and blinked.
"Oh, ah, heh heh heh." Cosmo started giggling and slobbering stupidly, like Ed the Hyena from "The Lion King" (even though he wasn't really that dumb).
Timmy was about to consider what Cosmo had just blurted out when his four human friends, Chester McBadbat, A.J. Ibrahim, Elmer Boyle, and Sanjay, came running his way. They were obviously in some sort of panic, because before he could ask what was going on, they had rushed into his house, taking him (and Cosmo & Wanda) with them. Cosmo & Wanda transformed into bugs and hid under Timmy's hat as Chester, A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay caught their breaths.
"Hey hey hey!" Timmy yelled at his five same-species confidants. "What's going on here? Why'd you guys drag me into my own house!"
Chester yelled in Timmy's face. "Weren't you paying any attention! All the parents are out for the night! And that means trouble! We kids must stay inside at all times!"
"Fate ees so cru-ell!" Sanjay whined.
"No one is safe. Not even Bob!" said Elmer, referring to the oversized boil on his cheek.
Timmy spoke to the four of them as commandingly as a squeaky-voiced kid such as himself could. "Will you just tell me what the heck's going on!"
A.J. was locking all of the doors, giving the answer when he was finished. "There's a good reason for us kids to not go outside. Tonight... is Vicky Night!" Lightning struck behind him to enhance the effect of his dialogue.
"Vicky Night!" Timmy repeated. He was more in shock from how dumb the name sounded rather than how frightening tonight would be. "Uh, has this got anything to do with the fact that there's some unusual wind going on outside?"
"Oh, sure!" A.J. pulled a graph from out of nowhere to represent his speech. "You see, it's like this. When that sour-sweet wind begins a-howlin' across the tree stumps on the wrong side of Pigfish Pond. When that wind wakes up the Greegumps from their sleep insider their tree stumps, they all start a-growlin'. And that growlin' and howlin' runkles and grunkles the pond. And when Pigfish Pond gets that way, it always disturbs the Hakkenkraks, and then they start a-yowlin'. And that chain reaction of noise travels up Mount Hitchcock, wherein lives our mortal enemy... Vicky Hitchcock!" At this point, he briefly held up a picture of the insidious redhead he was referring to. "She really hates hearing that, and ultimately, it awakens a nagging voice inside her that dictates an insatiable need to frighten us kids."
"That's dumb!" Timmy objected. "Vicky torments us all the time. She doesn't need to come down and torture us just 'cause those nonsensical animals are making her go crazy. She oughta just do something about the animals. That whole observation sounds like the set-up to a plot meant for some dumb TV special. And another thing! Why didn't you guys stay in your own houses!"
"We didn't want to be lonely," said Chester, A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay, in unison.
"And I needed an audience to sing this to," said A.J. as some music welled up and he began to sing. "I suggest we lock our..."
Timmy rushed in front of his black-skinned genius friend. "Stop that, stop that!" he shouted, killing the music. "I'm not gonna go let you go into a song."
"Aw, dung," said A.J., bringing forth the sound of audience laughter from out of nowhere.
Up in the crag known as Mount Hitchcock, the telephone was ringing incessantly. The evildoer known as Victoria Hitchcock stepped out of the next room, with a shower cap on her head and a towel around her private parts.
"I'm comin', I'm comin!" Vicky yelled, advancing on the phone. She picked up the receiver and screeched into the mouthpiece, "Sheesh! What's so important it can't wait till I'm out of the shower? ... You're asking for ME to join a bunch of organizations! The Babysitters' Club? The Society of People Who Became Villains Because They Were Unloved? The Loyal Brotherhood of Tomato Sauce Vampires! Fat chance, bub! I work alone!" And with that, she slammed down the receiver and broke the phone itself. Having done that, Vicky returned to her shower. It wasn't a very enjoyable bath, because she was being disturbed by the growls of the Greegumps and the yowls of the Hakkenkraks. When Vicky finally did finish her shower, she slipped into her casual attire of a slim green shirt and snug black jeans.
Vicky stepped out of the evil cave of evilness that she was living in for the purpose of this fanfic and looked down on Dimmsdale. "Hmmm. It's a wonderful night for eyebrows. It's a wonderful night of teeth. It's a wonderful night for... Vicky Night!" As she said this, lightning flashed behind her, killing some birds up above. "Trouble will now commerce for all those Whos down in Whoville-- uh, I mean, all those kids down in Dimmsdale." She laughed slowly and evilly, like Lord Dragaunus, before screaming for her unfaithful slave/sister. "Tootie!"
10-year-old Tootina Hitchcock stepped out of the door. "You rang?" she asked.
"I screamed!" Vicky corrected her little sis. "Get the Paraphernalia Wagon. I have a feeling of nastiness welling up inside me..." She laughed slowly and evilly again, but Tootie ruined the effect with her interruption.
"Why do I have to drag you to the town on the wagon?" Tootie complained. "You've got a car; you can just drive there!"
Vicky looked at her upset sibling. "I like to put my feet up on nights like this."
While she was waiting for Tootie to get the "Paraphernalia Wagon" out, Vicky decided to pass the time away by singing and dancing a wicked little ditty.
"I'm gonna be the guest of honor at the exclusive Vicky Night
Gonna be the only dancer in the Dimmsdale City Hall,
I might enter the ball quite small,
Or I might go in quite tall,
But I assure you, nobody, but nobody, is gonna dance with me at all..."
(At that point she paused her ditty to quickly say, "Unless it's a guy who's rich, famous, and handsome...")
"...When I enter front and center at the exclusive Vicky Night Baaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll!"
Finally, Tootie came out with the Paraphernalia Wagon. Vicky got up on her seat and shouted, "Giddy up, Tootie!"
As Vicky cracked her whip at her, Tootie sang to herself inside her mind.
How many times have I said and said, she thought, in
How many times have I said in my head,
What am I doing here?
Why am I the slave of this icky old crock?
And I say how I wish I could turn back the clock
And have the fine future I had once before
And again be an innocent little girl once more.
Vicky snapped her whip at her sibling's bottom. "No singing while driving me to town!"
While Tootie was reluctantly obeying her sister's commands, that eerie wind was still blowing over Dimmsdale. Down in the Turner household, Timmy, with Cosmo & Wanda still hiding under his hat, watched as Chester, A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay all just stood still, not making any sound at all.
"OK, this is getting monotonous," said Timmy to his fairies.
"Oh, I don't know," Cosmo said characteristically, pulling loose hairs off of Timmy's head. "I'm getting a really collection of your hair strands!"
"Now cut that out!" Timmy said to the less intelligent half of his pixies. He then turned to his four human confidants and said, "Look, you guys may think that just standing around like a bunch of statues will help. But surely there's some other way to deal with Vicky Night! Why don't we just call 911?"
"Great idea!" Chester grabbed the videophone and hit the "0" button. "Operator!" he yelled into the mouthpiece. "Get me the number for 911!"
A.J. took the receiver from the lousy baseball player and pushed the hang-up button. "I'll handle this! I'll just call the Evildoers Alarm System." He dialed the number 519-0066. "Hmmm, the line's very busy. Ah, here we go."
The snooty little rich kid on the other line appeared on the videophone's monitor screen. "This is NOT a recording, this is me in person, your Evildoer Alarm Warden, Sergeant-in-training Remington Espy Buxaplenty III. It's my duty to inform you if conditions improve and/or worsen. Well, tonight's evildoer is a sour sweet 16-year-old fire-breathing dragon in a pair of black jeans with red hair who goes by the name of Vicky Hitchcock. Um, she's coming down the mountain right now, so circumstances are..."
"Get to the poy-ent, Meester Buxaplenty!" Sanjay shouted into the receiver as A.J. turned on the answering machine.
"Oh fine," said Remy. "I'm afraid conditions are getting worse. Hmmm, now she's rolling her wheels over some flowers on the road... Oh, now she's chasing a fuzzy pink critter who bore a striking resemblance to a more fluorescent Stephen King in his post-alien plant phase from 'Creepshow'."
Timmy, Chester, A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay all blinked as they listened to Remy's description on the answering machine.
"Hey, I'm just saying," Remy continued. "Wait wait, the pink thing's safe now. He's hiding inside a brickle bush! Hang on, hang on. Vicky's cart has just tripped over a tree stump in the middle of the road, and... and... she's flying out! YES! It's a slam dunk! Vicky has landed right on the brickle bush! She's got brickles in her britches!"
Timmy looked at his pals. "Oh, this is getting so exciting I have to go the euphemism."
"The euphemism!" Chester, A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay found that word confusing.
"I mean, the outhouse," Timmy corrected himself.
"Couldn't you just use the een-door bathroom?" asked Sanjay.
"Well, yeah," Timmy explained, "but for some reason, there's someone inside me telling me to go outside to take a whiz."
"Well, be careful!" said Chester as Timmy walked outside.
"Yeah, don't whiz on the electric fence!" added Elmer.
Then the illogical happened. Before Timmy could reach the Purple Potty placed outside his quarters, the wind picked him and sent him blasting off again. Or in Layman's terms, flying into the background. Hmph. Must've been the rather small weight he must have, considering his size.
A.J. watched from the indoor window as the boy with the silly pink hat disappeared into the distance with a "ding". "Oh, MAN..." he said. "Poor Timmy. I'm afraid he may not survive out there. Poor, poor..."
"Hey look!" Chester pointed to the object that Timmy left behind. "He dropped a DP!"
"WHOA! Gimmie gimmie!" A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay squealed as they and Chester lunged outside for the unopened can of Dr. Pepper.
"Thanks for saving me there, guys," Timmy said, thanking Cosmo & Wanda for getting him to the ground safely. (I don't think I need to explain how...)
"You're welcome, Timmy," said Wanda. "But it's your own fault you're stuck out here."
"Yeah!" agreed Cosmo. "You could've used the indoor bathroom like A.J. told you to, but nooooo! You just had to go to the euphemism, didn't you?"
"Look, I'm sorry about it already!" yelled Timmy. "We better try and find our way back home."
"And when we get back, I hope you learn to always use the indoor toilet!" criticized Cosmo.
Timmy looked at his surroundings, then at the creature standing in front of them. "Heeeey... isn't that the fuzzy pink thing Remy told us that Vicky was chasing?"
"And isn't that someone related to tonight's evildoer over there?" Cosmo pointed at the Timmy's-age girl with thick-rimmed glasses, black hair in upward pigtails, and plaid skirt, forced to pull a wagon.
Cosmo & Wanda transformed themselves into dogs as Timmy advanced on Tootie.
"Hey, what's going on here?" Timmy asked. "Why are you tied to that wagon?"
Tootie wasn't really paying attention, for she suddenly got an uncontrollable urge to leap at Timmy and smother him in crazed affection. And it's most likely she would've done it, had not she have been tied up at the moment. Instead, she squealed, "TIMMY! Get me out of this! Then I'll be able to hug you and kiss you and love you and steal your hat to add to my love shrine!"
Vicky had climbed back on top of her wagon and was picking the brickles off of her rear. "Man, those lousy brickle bushes!" Vicky cursed. "I won't be able to sit for a month. I oughta brickle-ize the whole town! I'll--" It was at that point she noticed Timmy, who was standing out of Tootie's reach. "Who are you?"
Timmy stared at the teenage babysitter in surprise. "Who am I? I'm Timmy Turner! How can you not recognize me! I'm your primary victim! You yell in my face in the theme song every episode, even the ones you don't appear in!"
"Hey twerp!" Vicky yelled her catchphrase. "I'm trying to stick to the format of the parodied material! Work with me here!"
"Oh. Well then, are you really Victoria Hitchcock? I have a short attention span, and..." Timmy got bored and started to walk away, but suddenly stopped, 'cause what was about to happen seemed to be worth talking about in a story like this.
Vicky looked miffed. "Am I Victoria Hitchcock? You think I'm some twerp in a teenager costume out for a good time! Ha! I'll show you." Her thick eyebrows floated off of her head and flew around the heads of Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Tootie, and the pink critter (who wasn't Wanda) as she started to mumble incoherently, in rhyme.
"Unka pod pah, oompom pom pah," sang Vicky,
"Unka poddy pah pah, unka poddy oompah,
Unka unka unka unka lunka,
Eebzin troika foldimaldo
Oom pom tosk!"
The unnamed pink critter glared angrily as Vicky closed her gibberish with a fiendish cackle. But Timmy and his fairies didn't get it, and neither did I. Tootie, on the other hand, was rather annoyed by her older sibling's garbage.
"What kind of lyrics were those!" Tootie questioned. "A rejected song for the Oompa Loompas from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'?"
"Am I Victoria Hitchcock, he says," Vicky taunted, not hearing her sister's criticism. "Outta the way, small fry! I've got better things to do than waste time with you tonight. Get going, Tootie! Next stop... Dimmsdale!"
So with the wind still going on, Vicky continued her trek towards the helpless and currently parentless town. Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and that pink critter watched the vile babysitter's ride from that spot. Timmy knew he had to do something about this. He was worried about Chester, A.J., Elmer, and Sanjay. And it wasn't just them, either. He was worrying for the four Popular Kids (Tad & Chad, Trixie Tang, and Veronica) as well (but mostly Trixie), and even for his old rival Remy Buxaplenty. Oh yes, and the rest of the Squirrelly Scouts. Come to think of it, he was worried for just about every kid down in Dimmsdale. He, and his fairies, would have to stop Vicky from reaching the town. And he knew just what to do.
"I wish we could intercept her again!" Timmy announced. Hearing their godchild's request, Wanda turned into a sled, and Cosmo became a helmet. Timmy put Cosmo on his head, got on Wanda, and slid down the mountain.
With sheer luck, he was able to come to a halt right in front of Vicky's wagon. Cosmo & Wanda changed into dogs again as Tootie once again tried to romantically advance on the godkid.
"All right, twerp!" Vicky yelled. "What do you want this time?"
"Uh..." Timmy backed away from Tootie. "Could you please scare me some more... ma'am? I kind of like it."
"Look, Tim!" Vicky lectured. "I already scared you enough once. You may be the kid I hate most, but that doesn't mean I should scare you twice! Besides, there's no way you can possibly like my abusing you. Now get out of the way!" And with some hysterical laughter, she whipped Tootie some more and continued on her way.
Back down in Dimmsdale, Timmy's four friends were still worried for his safety. All the while, they were still trying to open that stubborn can of Dr. Pepper.
Again, Cosmo & Wanda respectively changed into a helmet and a sled so Timmy could safely get ahead of Vicky. Again, they came to a stop in front of the wagon, only this time they halted just five seconds before Vicky saw them on the road. Tootie was by now wondering if it was really worth it to try and get intimately close to Timmy while tied up.
Now growing annoyed and weary, Vicky got angry. "Okay, you asked for it! Get your sorry little butt up here."
Timmy climbed up the wagon and, with the combined courage of his two favorite media superheroes (that would be Crash Nebula and the Crimson Chin), stood before the gruesome sitter. "Do your worst! Bring on your spooks! Shoot the works! I ain't 'fraid of no ghosts!"
"Well, you'd better!" Vicky opened the hatch on top of the Paraphernalia Wagon. "I've a whole house of horrors, so get to it, twerp!"
And with that, she slapped him down into the wagon, which was obviously much larger on the inside than it was on the outside. This was going to be a tough job, and a sick disgusting one, too. But Timmy had to endure himself in order to prevent the babysitter from making it downtown to scare his confidants and semi-rivals. Fortunately, Vicky had no idea that Timmy had a pair of mystical creatures on his side.
"C'mon Timmy," Wanda urged as she transformed into a canister of a vacuum cleaner, "let's endure some scares!"
"You're gonna try and help?" Timmy questioned. "There might be some things here your magic might not work against."
"Hey, if it's important to you," said Cosmo as he turned into a vacuum nozzle/flashlight, "we're with you to the end."
"Thanks, guys," complimented Timmy, now armed like a certain green plumber.
And so the spooky montage that was Vicky Hitchcock's House of Horrors began. Timmy and his fairies ran about trying to avoid each new scare as the instrumentals to scary-themed songs played from out of nowhere. During his travels, they were chased by giant whirligigs, cornered by giant lobsters, wallowed in green slime, ran from guys with blades for fingers, defeated the black knight, fended off singers with keen interests in children, deflected flying lip gloss, and did away with all the other obstacles that laid between them and the way out of this house of haunts.
By the time Timmy and his fairies made their way out, Tootie had fallen asleep, dreaming sick fantasies I wouldn't care to find out. Vicky had been standing on the side of her Paraphernalia Wagon, looking at her crooked watch while smoking some serious smoke. When she heard the sound of a hatch shutting, she looked up and saw Timmy exiting the wagon. Realizing he was out now, Vicky tossed her cigarette away and giggled nervously.
"TIMMY!" Tootie woke with a start and leaped at the kid she admired, but still couldn't get near him.
"It's about time you got out!" said Vicky rudely. "It's almost like you were deliberately staying in there as if you were trying to stall me from sending all the other kids into panic! Since I'm done scaring you, now can I get going?"
"Sorry Vicky, IT'S OVER," Timmy announced. "You see, I developed a little theory earlier in the fanfic. You see, that wind is dying down now. My friend A.J. has told me that no wind blows forever."
"Well, what's that got to do with anything!" Vicky inquired, listening to her usual victim's explanation.
"It's like this," Timmy explained. "Because the wind has stopped blowing, the Greegumps have stopped growling, the pond has stopped runkle-grunkling, and the Hakkenkraks have stopped howling. And that stops you from prowling! Besides, all the kids' parents are starting to come back home now."
"That's tellin 'er, Timmy!" Cosmo commented softly.
Vicky put her hand to her chin, then looked at her nemesis in stun, for this convenient plot twist had somehow killed her urge to go medieval on the kids of Dimmsdale. "Well, I'll be grinched!"
Timmy (and his fairies) started downhill towards Dimmsdale, with a wave and a "So long!"
"Come on, Tootie," Vicky commanded. "Turn this wagon around." But what she saw and heard next came as a big shock to her.
"NO WAY, ICKY-WITH-A-'V'!" Tootie screamed, slipping out of the chain that had attached her to the Paraphernalia Wagon. "I've had it up to here with you torturing me the way you were planning to torture everyone below tonight! And I especially don't like your goal in life to make dear, sweet Timmy miserable! Carry your own wagon back up the mountain; I'm leaving... to try and find love with Timmy!" She expressed her hatred of her sister/slave-driver by sticking her tongue out before running down the hill, in pursuit of the object of her affections.
"You make me sick, turncoat!" Vicky screeched, picking up the reins that her ex-slave had been tied to. "YOU MAKE ME SICK! Not to mention you break my back."
As Timmy continued down toward Dimmsdale, Cosmo & Wanda resumed their normal forms. "Well Timmy," said Wanda, "I guess you're going to have the victor's spoils when we get home."
"Yeah!" agreed Cosmo. "I couldn't have said it better myself!"
Timmy rolled his eyes, still wondering how Cosmo was right about how that fairly odd wind would cause that chain reaction of annoying sounds that would make Vicky so bloodthirsty back at the beginning. But he would have to put those thoughts aside, for at that moment...
"Timmy!" Tootie called from not far behind. "I'm coming to join you, O heart of my heart!"
"Aaahhhhh!" Timmy yelled, turning to Cosmo & Wanda. "Let's get out of here!"
"Well, I'll be grinched!" Remy Buxaplenty, who had been watching that conversation on his TV monitors, said that the moment Vicky herself had said it. He turned to his microphones and announced, "Attention all kids! This is Remy S. Buxaplenty reporting to you once again! And I've got some really great news! Vicky has gone away! And we owe it all to our very own Timothy T. Turner!" Then, while rolling his eyes in the other direction, he muttered to himself, "Man, why don't I ever do things that heroic?"
Timmy's friends were still fighting over the Dr. Pepper when they suddenly saw Remy's monitors being displayed on the videophone's.
"Looo-ok! Eet ees Tim-ee!" Sanjay squealed.
"And he's got Vicky's little sister chasing him!" A.J. added.
"What an unusual way to come back from the outhouse," Chester commented.
"Hey, at least he didn't whiz on the electric fence!" Elmer... said.
When all the parents in Dimmsdale returned from wherever they had gone out to tonight, they found their kids having quite a shindig. They were playing video games like crazy and blasting Chip Skylark's songs on big stereos. Even though they had no idea what they were celebrating, the parents decided to not ask any questions and just join in. Since Timmy had driven Vicky away, now he was some sort of town hero, and it was only appropriate that they'd do an article about his heroics in the newspaper. Unfortunately, his efforts at looking as heroic as he possibly could for the newspaper photo were marred by Tootie's continual attempts to kiss him, all the while Cosmo stupidly got himself drunk, to Wanda's embarrassment. But all the kids, having been saved from the wrath of the world's crankiest babysitter, were enjoying themselves and having a gay old time.
While the now-safe kids of the town below partied like cool things that the Popular Kids boasted about having were on sale for $19.99, the lone figure of Vicky the Babysitter dragged her Paraphernalia Wagon back up the hillside of Mount Hitchcock.
"Gee, I'm sure gonna miss that Vicky Night Ball," she muttered to herself. "But that wind will be coming back someday. And when it does... I'll be coming back..." She said the next word slowly and evilly. "...someday." She made a sinister laugh for quite a while as she continued onwards, suddenly stopping when her back cracked. "Ugh. By then, I'd better get a more faithful slave to drive me downtown. I wonder if Mark Chang's gotten over my over-affection towards him last time he was around..."
That fuzzy pink creature she had been chasing earlier watched from up above as Vicky struggled up the mountain. He then removed his mask to reveal that he was actually... SpongeBob SquarePants! "Hmmm, I think maybe she'd better give a shot at Easter, 'cause I'd say she's blown her October shot." He laughed his trademark laugh from under his water-filled helmet.
I have nothing to add, except I hope you enjoyed it!