"This Wasn't in the Job Description"

by: the archduke

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, nor am I making any profit from this fic.

Chapter 4: The End

Heero Yuy was looking at his computer, wondering exactly when it was that he lost his touch. In his younger years, about three years ago, this type of mission would have taken him two days tops. But here he was, three weeks after he first began, and he was practically back at where he started. The Perfect Soldier was perfect no more.

Heero's mission was simple: trace the phone call that Relena received from Oscar, find all that he could about the man, then beat the living hell out of him. He had immediately began on the first part of that plan, but tracing the call had proved more difficult than he had anticipated. The call had been bounced off of so many satellites that Heero wasn't sure if the call had come from Colombia or the colonies. Whoever this Oscar person was, he was a professional, which made Heero wonder even more what Relena could be up to with him.

Heero looked at his watch, finding that he only had seven hours until that stupid awards ceremony would begin. After Relena had announced that she would indeed be attending it, they had all wondered what she was planning. Whatever it was she was keeping very quiet, not even her brother and Noin knew about it. As long as it didn't undermine her safety Heero didn't care what her plans were.

Okay, that isn't exactly true. Over the last three weeks Heero had not had any contact with Relena, not even an accidental meeting at work, and he found himself missing her and all of the little things she did. He missed the way she would quietly threaten Zechs over breakfast, or the way her eyes sparkled when she was met with a challenge. She was tough when she wanted to be, yet could also be the sweetest person in the world. Now instead of guns and mobile suits, Heero was thinking of blonde hair and blue eyes. And she didn't want anything to do with him. It was enough to drive a lesser man insane, but it only slightly aggravated Heero.

With all of the uncertainties surrounding Relena tonight, Heero was definetly going to be there, regardless of the fact that Relena had taken him off of her personal security detail. He would have to stay in the shadows to ensure that she wouldn't see him, but that wasn't a big problem. He had set up the security for the facility, so he knew every nook and cranny. Whatever Relena planned for tonight Heero was going to have a front row seat for it.

The dress was too tight, the shoes too loose, and her hair would just not cooperate. Relena sighed in exasperation. With all of her planning she had completely forgotten about her attire, and now here she was, an hour before she had to leave for the ceremony, and not even close to looking how she had wanted to look.

In her mind she had pictured herself walking down the red carpet looking fabulous, with the photographers falling all over themselves to get a picture of her. They would think that they had beat her, that her face would grace the front page of every newspaper and the cover of every magazine. Then, after they found her little surprise, they would never try to take her picture again.

She was also hoping to look her best for a certain person who she knew would be there, even if she never saw him. Relena had figured out that Heero had misunderstood her relationship with Oscar, but she couldn't gather the courage to go set him straight. She was hoping that everything would magically end up alright, with her and Heero ending in her bed what they had begun in her office. But magic only existed in fairy tales, and while Relena was a princess, she couldn't picture Heero surrounded by a bunch of dwarfs.

"Sector five, group three, clear?"


"Sector five, group four, clear?"


"All sectors clear. Allow the eagle to land."

Heero turned his attention to the limo that had just arrived. Relena, otherwise known as 'the eagle', had finally made it to the ceremony, uncharacteristically late. All of the photographers knew it was she who had arrived, no one else who was scheduled to attend the ceremony had armed Preventers guarding them.

As soon as the door to the limo opened the flashes went off in a frenzy, the photographers not even bothering to wait for the inhabitants to exit. Heero expected Zechs or Noin to come out before Relena, that was the usual protocol for these types of events. He was right, Noin exited and was followed by Zechs, who looked a bit annoyed for some reason. Zechs turned around to help the last person in the vehicle exit, and when Relena finally did show herself Heero immediately knew what had gotten Zechs so annoyed.

Heero had seen Relena dressed up before, always wearing formal gowns or conservative attire to the events that she had to attend, but this was different. No one could call what Relena was wearing conservative. It wasn't even liberal. It was practically illegal! Her dress, or what he supposed could be considered a dress, looked to be a marvel of engineering for the fact that it was defying gravity. It was strapless and lowcut, which made a dangerous combination, plus it looked to be somewhat transparent in the midsection. The bottom half was just as bad, the skirt barely covering her rear end with slits on either side that came up to her hips. As the photographers snapped away, while simutaneously thinking about the headlines for these pictures, Heero wasn't sure what to do first, kill Zechs for letting her out of the house dressed like that, or run over there and put his coat over her and take her back to her mansion.

As Heero contemplated what course of action to take, he began to realize that Relena wasn't rushing to the door or attempting to hide from the cameras. On the contrary, she was actually posing for them! Twirling around, smiling, waving, she was encouraging these vultures! Heero began to feel relieved when she finally moved to go indoors, but was quickly angered again when she turned, smiled, and blew a kiss to the crowd. He clenched his fists, wondering exactly what had gotten into Relena tonight.

Just a few more steps, and she would be home free. Left, right, left, right, almost there. She could feel the heat from the flashes, as well as hear the yelling of the photographers. "Relena, right here! Look this way!" One more pose and she would be done for the night. She turned around once she reached her limo, leaving her brother holding the door open as she gave the press one more dazzling smile. All of a sudden she felt arms go around her waist from behind and she was pulled into the limo, with Zechs just managing to close the door before the vehicle zoomed off.

Relena turned toward the person who had grabbed her, ready to give them a piece of her mind, when she stopped once she saw who it was.

She swallowed nervously and said, "Hello, Heero." All she got in response was a glare. She had a feeling this was not going to go well at all.

As they pulled up to the mansion, Heero had still not spoken a word, only glared. Once they stopped he opened the door and pulled her out, walking purposefully towards the front door. There was a honk from the limo, and Relena reasoned that Duo was the getaway driver. Heero opened the front door with a key, she would have to look into how he had obtained that later. Still holding her arm, he marched up the stairs and right into her room, pushing her inside while he locked the door behind him. Relena immediately went straight for her desk, she always felt more confident when she behind a desk. It implied that she was in charge, even if that implication wasn't totally correct.

The two occupants of the room stared at each other, Heero with his arms crossed over his chest, Relena with her hands on the desk, slightly leaning over it. A few moments passed before Heero spoke first.

"Have you drunk any alcoholic beverages or taken any other inebriating substances tonight?"

Relena thought he was joking before she remembered that Heero Yuy is not one to joke. She looked at him, shocked, before she answered with a resounding, "No! Of course not!"

He stood his ground as he replied, "I don't believe you. Your actions tonight have totally been out of character, so I must surmise that you have taken something that would alter your personality." As he moved towards her he added, "I'm going to take you to Sally for some blood tests. It's for your own good Relena."

Relena couldn't begin to comprehend what Heero was saying. He thought that she was high. How insulting! Relena became furious and looked over her desk for something to throw at him to stop his advancment. Her eyes quickly settled on her 'Woman of the Year' award that she had brought with her from the ceremony. She grabbed it and hurled it in the general direction of Heero.

Now, when considering Relena's athletic skills, or lack thereof, and that her target was the well oiled fighting machine that is Heero Yuy, the chances of her actually hitting him with the award were very much against her. Well, it seems that Relena should have bought a lottery ticket, because today was her lucky day. She could only watch as the award, which was quite heavy, sailed through the air, almost as if it were suspended by wires, and hit its target square on the head, making Heero crumple to the floor.

Relena's eyes widened as she saw Heero fall to the floor. At first she didn't move, expecting Heero to get up and give her one of his glares. When he remained still she felt herself begin to panic, and she rushed to his side. She kneeled down next to him and slapped him lightly on the cheek.

"Heero, wake up." She tried shaking him but that didn't work either. Now she really began to panic.

"Oh God, Heero, wake up! Oh my God, I am the worst pacifist in the world! I bet my father never hit anyone with a 'Woman of the Year' award!" Her brow scrunched in thought. "My father probably never won a 'Woman of the Year' award." She shook the meaningless thoughts out of her head, turning her attention back to Heero.

"Heero, I'm sorry. Please wake up!" She was just about to slap him again when Heero's eyes suddenly popped open, and before she knew what happened she was laying on the ground with Heero on top of her.

"You hit me. Several times." Relena could see the thinly veiled humor in Heero's eyes, and she knew that she had been tricked.

"Heero, you scared me half to death! I thought that I had hurt you."

"You did. That thing is heavy."

Relena made a move to sit up, but was stopped when Heero didn't do the same. He continued to stare at her, and she said, "Heero, do you mind getting off of me? Your gun is poking my leg."

"That isn't my gun."

"Well, wh-" Her eyes widened as what he said reached her brain. All she could manage to squeak out was an "Oh."

The two lay there, Heero wondering why in the hell he had said such a cliched thing, Relena wondering when she had turned into a complete idiot.

Relena looked up at his face and took the opportunity to study it. She noticed for the first time a little scar above his left eyebrow, and idly wondered what else she had neglected to take notice of on his body. She was suddenly brought out of her thoughts by a strange sound that seemed to be emanating from Heero. She focused on him and realized that he was indeed making that sound, a sort of sniffing sound. Relena looked closer, yes, Heero was sniffing, and he was sniffing...her? Why would he be sniffing her?

Then it hit her. He was checking her breath to make sure she had not been drinking. He still didn't believe her! With a surge of adrenalin she managed to push Heero off of her and stand up, her hands clenched at her sides.

By this time Heero had gotten over his mild shock at her unprecedented show of physical strength, and had also stood up at the other side of the room. He had a feeling he wouldn't be shooting off his gun anytime soon.

Relena's eyes darted around the room, when they finally settled on what she had been looking for: the 'Woman of the Year' trophy, smack dab in the middle of herself and Heero. She decided to take a chance and made a move towards the trophy, which alerted Heero to her intentions. In a show of speed that exhibited why he was called the 'Perfect Soldier', Heero dove for the trophy, snatching it a split second before her own hand was able to grasp it.

Relena quickly got to her feet and stepped a few feet from Heero with her hand outstretched. "Heero, give me back my trophy." He could hear the beginings of anger in the undertones of her voice.

Heero merely shook his head. "No."

She stamped her foot to show Heero that she meant business. "Heero, that is my trophy, and I want it back, right now." The last two words were said through clenched teeth, further proof of her rising temper.

"No, you are just going to try to hit me with it again," and then he preceded to hide the trophy behind his back. 'Out of site, out of mind,' he reasoned to himself.

"Ugghhh!!," she screamed in frustration. "I can't believe I'm in love with such a stubborn JERK!!"

Heero responded with, "Well, I just want to make sure that the woman I'M in love with isn't an ALCOHOLIC! I'm just trying to look out for you."

By this time neither person were fully aware of what they were saying, their emotions replacing their reason.

Relena marched across the room and tried to reach behind Heero's back to retreive her trophy, while Heero kept on dodging her attempts.

"This is so stupid. I just want m-," Relena began mumbling under her breath, when what Heero and her had just said registered in her mind. It seemed that Heero had also just comprehended what had been spoken. She straighted herself and looked into Heero's eyes.

He saw her mouth curve up into a small smile, then was pleasantly surprised when she grabbed the back of his head and brought his face down for a kiss. He immediately responded, wondering why it had taken them so many years to engage in such a wonderful activity.

Relena slowly woke up the next morning, trying to bring her left hand to wipe the sleep out of her eyes, when she found that it was tangled in something. Following her arm, she sought out the source of her hand's confinement. She was only mildly surprised to see next to her, in her bed, a seemingly naked Heero. During their night together she had somehow gotten her hand stuck in his hair, and upon further inspection she found that it was her braclet that had gotten caught. She tried tugging her hand away, but only managed to wake up her bodyguard.

As he blinked away his grogginess, Heero settled his gaze on his employer. She was looking at the top of his head, a worried expression on her face. He was about to ask her what was wrong, briefly wondering if she regretted what they had done, when he felt a sharp tug at his hair. He tried looking up, but could only get a glimpse of her arm.

Heero looked back at Relena. "What are you doing to my hair?"

Relena took her attention away from trying to disentagle her hand, and focused on the person who had spoken to her. She smiled when she saw the questioning look he was giving her, a bright smile that made her eyes sparkle.

"My braclet is stuck in your hair." Her smile suddenly widened. "Don't worry though, I think we'll be able to cut it out in no time."

He gave her a blank expression, and said in a deadpan voice, "I hope you're refering to your hand, because there is no way you are cutting my hair."

She started giggling, in the process managing to loosen her hand from Heero's hair. "It looks like no haircut for you today, Heero." At his obvious relief, she added, "Don't look so disappointed."

He smirked a bit, saying, "With you there is never any disappointment", making a move towards her, only to be stopped with a hand covering his face and pushing him back.

"Hold that thought for one second", she said while moving from underneath the sheets to grab her robe that was on the chair next to the bed. "I'll be right back." Before he could question her actions she was out the door.
Once again Zechs and Noin were downstairs, having a quiet breakfast, when Relena came speeding down the stairs. She mumbled a "Good morning", grabbed the stack of newspapers that was on the end of the table, then sped right back up the stairs.

Both occupants had noticed that the Vice-Foreign Minister had been clad only in a robe, but only Noin commented on it.

Without looking up from her coffee she said, "They're adults now Zechs. You can't stop her from growing up."

Her husband replied with, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Noin glanced up from the rim of her cup and noticed that Zechs was still eating his eggs. There was a hint of amusement in her voice as she said, "Subscribing to the old 'Ignorance is Bliss' philosophy now? That's real rational Zechs."

He merely replied, "I'm a big brother. I don't have to be rational."

Before Heero could comprehend that Relena had left she was back again, carrying a stack of newspapers with her. Heero groaned, wondering why she would bring newspapers with her, knowing full well that they would be filled with pictures of her in that, that outfit. It made him angry just thinking of her exposed in such a way, while all of those people took their pictures, hoping that they would sell a few more newspapers by exploiting her. It made him wonder again why she would wear such a revealing ensemble to an event that she knew was a trap.

"Here you go Heero," she said while thrusting a newspaper from the L2 colony in his hands. "Read up on what's going on in the universe." She said this in a HAPPY voice, almost like she was anticipating him reading it.

"Humph," was the only thing he said while he looked over the front page, expecting the worse. But, curiously enough, there was no picture of Relena, and upon further investigation, found this to be true for the rest of the paper as well. Startled, he sat up in bed and grabbed another paper, this time one from Earth, and was met with the same outcome. He looked over at Relena, who had been watching him with amusement the entire time.

"Wha, I, huh?" Was all he was able to say while she just continued smiling.

"You remember Oscar, don't you Heero?" At the mention of the other man's name she saw his face darken and quickly continued. "Well, you see, Oscar is this brilliant, MARRIED scientist (she felt it was a good idea to stress the word 'married') that I met during a conference on L6. His specialty is Magnetic Engineering, and he had just finished with a project that used magnetics as a way to block out digital information, or something like that. I'm not really sure what it is, but I did remember him saying that he could remotely erase hard drives on computers and other devices. So, I figured that since all photographers use digital cameras,"

"Then Oscar could erase all the photos that they took of you." Heero finished for her. That explains the lack of photographs of her that morning. He had to admit, it was a pretty good idea.

"Yup," she responded with pride in her voice. "And," she continued, "once all the major newspaper and magazine editors read the letter that I sent them, dated last week but sent out today, explaining to them how sorry I am about their ruined pictures, they should finally leave me alone." She ended with a broad smile on her face.

Heero just sat there, staring at her for a few minutes, before a grin of his own appeared. "I didn't know you had it in you to be so devious."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," she responded while bringing her arms around his neck.

He brought his own arms to her waist while he leaned down towards her. "And I can't wait to find it all out."

Suffice it to say, that was the end of their conversation.

Author's Note: All done! Yeah! Thanks to everyone who read and waited patiently for me to finish.