Title: The Kid

By: SapphireStarz726

Pairings: NONE!! Yay!!

Summary: Kurama just finished a health project with the machine baby, but what happens when Hiei actually finds a REAL baby??

Warnings: Mild language and some perverted humor. Nothing big.

A/N: Okay, I just had to deal with those stupid machine babies for health class more then a month ago, and let me tell you, THEY ARE EVIL!!! I was just thinking about what Hiei would do if he found a baby one day and I decided to actually write a story about it. Don't worry, I'm actually working on another fic that I started about four months ago and I will update my answering machine message one soon as well. Anyway, without further ado, here we go!!

Note: //abc// means that the person is talking to themselves mentally.


Chapter One: Hell in a 7lb Body


Kurama crashed onto his bed on a Monday afternoon. Fall has arrived and he looked out of his window to see the trees turning vibrant reds and gold. Seeing the beauty of the trees seemed to calm him and give him a relaxed feeling, something he hadn't experienced in about three days. The cool air coming into his open window and blowing into his bright red hair and face forced him to close his eyes and reflect on the past chaotic days.

Chaotic didn't seem to be a big enough word to describe what he had gone though over the weekend. This wasn't a typical normal weekend, this, was a hellish weekend. It all started on Friday after school.


It had been a long day. Tests in Biology and World Geography today had wiped Kurama out. Usually the end of the school day would bring comfort to him, especially because it was the end of the school week. Unfortunately, this weekend was the weekend he dreaded the most, the weekend he would have to take the health baby project home.

From what he had heard out of all his classmates, this was hell shortened into three long days. The crying, the waking up in the middle of the night, the 4:00 a.m. feedings, the diaper changes, everything he had heard was nothing short of awful. And this wasn't making Kurama any less nervous.

He was standing in the hallway after the school day pondering about his dilemma when he heard a familiar voice call out from behind him. Two figures at the end of the long hallway were walking towards him, one was about 6 foot with a light blue school uniform and the other was a little shorter with a greased back hairdo and a green school uniform. Kurama stood up and greeted his good friends, who had come to provide support for Kurama, but that didn't mean that they weren't going to tease him either.

"So, here's the proud father now. Where's your kid?" Yusuke asked with a smile.

"Funny Yusuke. I was about to head down to the health room right now. Would you guys come with me?" Kurama said.

The two of them agreed and all three of them headed down to the health room together. Kurama was given a baby and was told it wouldn't start crying till 4:00 p.m. that day, so he had about an hour of freedom left.

Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara all walked over to Kurama's house just to see what would happen after 4:00. They stuck around and watched TV until a recorded crying sound frightened them all. Kuwabara must have jumped about 5 feet into the air and Yusuke looked ready to attack, Kurama sighed and picked up the baby to find out what was wrong.

To say the least, after that four o'clock activation time, it was hell. The crying, the feeding, the diaper changes, the waking up in the middle of the night, Kurama was wiped by the end of the weekend. He hadn't eaten much and he was sure he had lost about 5 pounds by being so stressed over the weekend. He was the first one to bring the baby back on Monday morning.

************************End flashback***********************

Kurama must have dozed off for a while because when he opened his eyes, the sun was setting and his mother was calling him down for dinner. He sprang up from his bed and ran downstairs.

Meanwhile, Hiei had been sleeping in the tree by his window for a while. He wanted to ask Kurama was he was doing with a toy baby over the weekend, but when he came to Kurama's window, he found Kurama asleep and decided not to wake him. After hearing Kurama's mother calling him, Hiei awoke and nearly fell out of the tree. //Every time// Hiei thought while trying to catch himself before falling out of the tree. Now that Kurama had woken up, Hiei decided to go into his room. He had just finished walking into the room when Kurama bolted up the stairs and into his room, holding in his mouth a rice cake. He noticed Hiei and jumped back.

"Woah Hiei, what are you doing here?"

"Hn. Nothing really, just wanted to know what you were doing over the days you didn't have school."

"You mean the weekend? I had to care for the toy baby for my health class, don't even get me started on that."

"Why in the world do you have to care for a toy baby? Isn't that for little human girls?"

"Yeah, but this is different We're supposed to learn the responsibilities of adulthood and seeing that abstinence is the only true way to have safe sex." Kurama stated with a voice mimicking that of his health teacher, Mrs. Thompson.

"Hn. You read that off of a fortune cookie?"

Kurama laughed. "No, it was on the worksheet I was given for the health project. I was supposed to care for a machine that acted like a real baby as to discourage me from wanting to have sex and maybe getting a girl pregnant. Trust me, after that, I'd rather not even get married."

"So these humans wish to scare you so you don't mate with other humans? How amusing. Too bad I wasn't around to see you deal with this thing."

"Its not mating, Hiei." Kurama said while getting books out of his backpack. He purposefully ignored Hiei's last statement.

"Its close enough."

Kurama sighed. "Anyway, it wasn't fun and I am glad that it's over. Now all I have to do for next Friday is to write about my experiences with the baby. That shouldn't be too hard" With that, Kurama sat down at his desk and began to do some Biology homework.

Hiei looked at his friend. Although he would never admit that he considered Kurama as a friend, he couldn't help but feel pity for him. He could tell that he was tired and stressed. But, something inside him just wanted to bug him even more about this "health project".

"You look so drained. How can caring for one human baby really take all that energy? I've seen you fight demons and have more energy left over then seeing you now. I mean, it looks too easy to care for a young human, it can't be that bad."

Kurama stopped writing and turned to face the fire apparition. His eyes showed just how tired he really was. Hiei didn't know what was about to happen, and backed up a step from the spirit fox. To his relief, Kurama just laughed. "Hiei, you wouldn't know a thing about caring for kids, human or not. I'd like to see you try it some day, and then we'll see just how easy it really is. I was lucky; I didn't have to spend any money to but diapers or formula for the kid. If you had a real baby, it would take a lot of money just to care for the kid for one week. Count yourself lucky Hiei, that you won't have to worry about that."

Hiei wasn't sure if his friend had just insulted him, but he didn't care either. He saw that Kurama needed to be left alone to finish his schoolwork and walked towards the window.

"See you later, Kurama"

Kurama didn't turn from his work, but smiled and said, "Alright Hiei, see ya around."

Hiei jumped out of the window and began to head towards the park, where he had been spending the night over the past few weeks. //Careful, Hiei, with all this time you're spending here, it might actually start to grow on you.// Hiei finally reached his tree in the park and sat down and rested on it. //Hn. Kurama was wrong. I would know how to take care of a baby, human or no. Get a hold of yourself, who really cares about a baby human anyway? I certainly don't, so why would I have to worry about caring for a kid? Besides, babies are stupid, all they do is whine and cry and demand attention. Having a kid would be a waste of time for me.// With that thought, Hiei drifted off to sleep.