DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these guys though I love em all. This is what happens when you stay up until 3 am on Halloween...

Group is Now in Session

[Lecter]...We have an observer this evening, a colleague of mine, Dr. Herbert West. So before we begin I'd like everyone to introduce themselves.

[Candyman]...You a shrink too?

[West]...No, a Re-Animator actually.

[Freddy]...Maybe you can resurrect Jason's dead brain cells.

[Jason]...Grunts.

[Candyman]...I'll go first I guess. I'm the Candyman and I'm a vengeful spirit.

[All]...Hi Candyman.

[Jason]...(Grunts)

[Candyman]...He doesn't talk much but that's Jason Vorhees, also a vengeful spirit.

[Freddy]...And dumb as a brick.

[All]...Hi Jason!

[Lecter]...Wait your turn, please. Next.

[Pinhead]...I am Pinhead, Black Bishop in the Order of the Gash. Bringer of pain and pleasure to all who solve the puzzle.

[Candyman]...(interrupting) Yada, yada, yada.

[Michael Myers]...(snickers)

[Pinhead]...I am Demon to some. Angel to others.

[All]...Hi Pinhead!

[Candyman]...(points) And this here is my man Michael Myers. He's a personification of rage. It's a Druid thing apparently.

[Michael Myers]...(waves)

[All]...Hi Michael.

[Lecter]...(looking at Freddy) All right, your turn.

[Freddy]...(clicking his finger knives) Freddy's the name and mayhem's the game!

[Lecter]...And tell Doctor West what you are.

[Freddy]...Your worst nightmare.

[Pinhead]...That's subjective.

[Lecter]...Let's talk a little about what each of us does. It will help us gain insight into what drives us.

[Freddy]...How about I drive a fork into your eye, MunchMan? That'll give you some insight.

[Michael Myers]...(frantically waves his arm in the air)

[Lecter]...You should have gone before we started the session, Michael.

[Pinhead]...Excuse me Dr. Lecter, but I believe he's volunteering to fork you.

[Michael Myers]...(nods enthusiastically)

[Lecter]...Mr. Krueger you seem to have a lot of issues with authority.

[Jason]...Grunts.

[Pinhead]...I would be gratified to give Mr. Krueger a lesson in discipline.

[Candyman]...Kinky.

[Freddy]...You ain't my type Pinny, I don't go for guys in skirts.

[Pinhead]...It's a cassock.

[Candyman]...Someone's in denial.

[Lecter]...Gentlemen please, let's stay on topic.

[Candyman]...Why bother? It always comes down to the same topic in the end. Who's scarier?

[All]...(nod)

[Lecter]...Here we go again.

[Pinhead]...I would think that would be obvious.

[Freddy]...Yep, it is obvious, obviously ME!

[Candyman]...You're insane.

[Freddy]...Your point?

[Jason]...Grunts.

[Freddy]...Come on Candyass, er I mean Candyman, your thing was bees! I mean come on, BEES! How scary is that?

[Candyman]...(Coughs up a bee that promptly stings Jason who retaliates by swinging a large machete. Everyone dives for cover.)

[Freddy]...Besides I've spawned six sequels and a television series. I get invited to all the parties!

[Michael Myers]...(snickers)

[Freddy]...You have something to say?

[Michael Myers]...(shakes his head and places a finger over his lips)

[Freddy]...Why the hell are you mute anyway?

[Freddy]...I mean Jason, we all know he's a moron which is why he doesn't speak.. but what's your excuse.

[Jason]...Grunts.

[Candyman]...Leave the poor manifestation of rage alone! I mean the only thing he's got going for him is a Bill Shatner mask and Mr. Goodwrench's wardrobe.

[Freddy]...(shudders) Shatner.

[Candyman]...Besides we all know how you've gone Hollywood Freddy. And we know you've had your scar tissue lifted!

[Freddy]...Did not!

[Candyman]...Did to!

[Pinhead]...I'm into leather and chains myself.

[Lecter]...We accept your lifestyle choices without judgement.

[Pinhead]...I am pain.

[Freddy]...(rolls eyes) Pain in the ass you mean.

[Jason]...(pulls worms from his nose holes)

[Pinhead]...Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners?

[Freddy]...(chants) Mama's boy, mama's boy. Couldn't even kill his own victims had to get his mommy to do it.

[Jason]...Grunts.

[Candyman]...That's not fair Freddy. Jason was just a late bloomer. He's made up for it.

[Freddy]...MAMA'S BOY!

[Candyman]...Pedophile!

[Lecter]...Gentlemen! We are here to explore our issues not to squabble amongst ourselves! Let's take a break before beginning again.

TBC

Ok people, let me know. Would you like me to continue the "therapy"? If you have any ideas for characters that should join the group, post em in your review and if I like em I'll see what I can do.