I try not to whine, but I really can't help it. I really do try to deal.

You just tell me -and yourself- it's a phase I'm going through. That I'll survive. But you're my sister, and I love you. Buffy, I need you.

Why do I even try? You don't love me, I'm not real. I don't deserve your attention. your love.

Why do I even try to be like you?

I know they need you, you're the only one who can teach them.

But how well do you know me? How much do you see? How can you ignore me?

I didn't realize how much it hurt, until it made me bleed. The night I raised the knife and brought it across my arm, just to make sure I was still there.

You just ignored me. I didn't even have to wear long sleeves, you didn't notice the healing wounds, or later, the scars. It was that one thing that took it all away.

I don't think about the hurt. until I make me bleed.

Slowly drained my innocence, bled it all away, fucked it all away, drained me all away. I'm almost all the way gone. Almost all the way.

I'm almost gone all the way.