Rightyho welcome to another parody of Reloaded. But don't worry this is only a mini-parody because I have very limited motivation and its quite a long film! So in actual fact welcome to a parody of the Freeway scene (and the bit just before it). Thank you to the insane people on the ATS board for fuelling my madness.

Disclaimer: All I own is a small glow in the dark duck named Toby. And you are not getting him - he is mine! So yeah I don't own the Matrix at all. Duh. Did anyone think I did? Is my name Mr Moneybags? I think not. So on we go.

(While Neo is busy having a very one-side fight with the Merovingian's miscellaneous vampire hench guys, the Keymaker has run through about thirty odd doors on his way to the garage.)

Morpheus: (shouting at Keymaker) Geez were you born in a barn? (shuts the doors behind him)

Trinity: For a guy with such little legs he sure runs fast

Keymaker: (fiddling with the last door) Always another way

(meanwhile Twin One starts to phase up through the floor, Trinity runs right through his head)

One: Hey! Watch where the hell you are treading!

Morpheus: (distracted by armour) Ooh shiny.

Keymaker: Shut the door! Quickly!

Morpheus: Wait for me! (runs through door)

One: (jams arm through opening of door) Ha! Now what are you gonna do?

(Trinity shoots Twin One in the arm repeatedly)

One: (calmly) That hurts more than we are letting on you know

(Twin Two arrives slightly late)

Two: Sorry bro we had to answer the call of nature

One: We didn't need to know that. Now could we get a bloody move on?

(Two phases and runs at the door, but trips over his coat and goes flying though it. He manages to land in a forward roll and make it look like it was planned.)

Two: (straightens coat) We meant to do that

(Trinity wastes some bullets shooting at Two who just phases out of the way)

Two: You are just jealous because we have more feminine looking hair than you

Morpheus: (sniggers)

Trinity: Growl!

Morpheus: Eeep!

(Trinity runs at Two who does some cool twisty stabby things with his shiny cut throat razor, which ultimately results in him holding it about half an inch from her jugular vein)

Two: Step away from the door

(Morpheus does, allowing One to come through it. He examines his arm.)

One: (to Trinity) You whore! Look at what the f**k you did to our coat! Do you know how much that cost? And blood just never comes out.

Two: Erm, bro? Phasing?

One: (shifty eyes) We knew that. We were just testing. (phases arm and coat back to original state) Just like new!

(meanwhile the Keymaker has run off and is attempting to work out which key among his about three zillion opens the door of the car he is next to. While the Twins are distracted Morpheus gets his gun out and shoots at Two who phases to avoid the bullets, thus releasing Trinity)

Morpheus: (to Trinity) Follow that hobbit key guy!

(Morpheus gets out his sword that he stole from the shiny armour and brandishes it at the Twins, who look distinctly unimpressed)

Two: And that is supposed to hurt us how? We can phase to avoid it!

Morpheus: Quiet you! I want to play with my pretty shiny sword. So have at you!

(There is a brief cool but pointless fight with lots of swishy swordness and razor stabbing, which give the Keymaker enough time to figure out which key opens the car)

Trinity: (to Keymaker) Get in the back

Keymaker: Why? I want to drive! I'm the one with the keys!

Trinity: I doubt your stubby legs can reach the pedals. Get in the back

Keymaker: (sulks but gets in the back) You are so mean to me.

(Trinity drives past the fight and Morpheus takes the opportunity to leave, jumping in through one of the windows. The Twins are not pleased.)

One: They are reasonably quickly getting away!

(Two phases over to just in front of the car, and gets ready to stab Trinity as she passes by. But having no physical form the car just drives straight through him)

Two: Damn. That didn't work quite how we intended it to

(The Twins get a big SUV and drive off in pursuit of Trinity, Morpheus and the Keymaker)

Morpheus: (on phone to Link) Get us an exit

Link: Well there is one. but no, you wouldn't want to use it.

Morpheus: We are in a bit of a situation here Link (dodges bullets being fired at them from the following Twins) We will take what we can get.

Link: I really don't think you would like it though. I mean I do trust you and all but.

Morpheus: Link just give us the damn exit! We don't have time for your pointless character development right now!

Link: Okley dokely there's one just off the freeway. By the way there's a dozen or so police cars after you, and oh yeah some Agents. Well cheerio! (hangs up)

Trinity: You always told me to stay off the freeway (dodges more bullets) You said it was suicide.

Morpheus: Well yes, but then I am usually wrong. I mean look at that Prophecy crap I was going on about for so long. That was all wrong!

Trinity: (whispering) We're not supposed to know that yet! Neo doesn't meet the Architect till the end of the film!

Morpheus: Oops. Anyway. Forwards! To the freeway!

(a convoy soon develops with Trinity weaving in and out of cars followed closely by the Twins who have several police cars behind them. Agents then take over the cops in the leading police car)

Agent Johnson: We have them. The exile is the primary target.

Agent Thompson: (looks in glove compartment) Ooh donuts.

(Twin Two is having a lot of fun shooting out various cars that get in their way.)

Two: Boom! And another one's gone, another one's gone.

One: Try aiming at the people driving the car we are after!

Two: Stop bossing us around! You are only 0.002 seconds older than us. It is our turn with the gun so we get to decide who to shoot. (shoots at another random car making it flip over) We love being bad guys.

One: (takes gun off Two) Stop playing around and go and get the Keymaker!

(Two sighs and phases at the car with the Keymaker in it, landing in the backseat next to him. He grabs his arm)

Two: Come on midget, we are taking you back to the Merovingian

(Morpheus does not seem to think this is a good idea. He communicates this to Two by trying to shoot him in the head. However the Keymaker is in the way. A scuffle ensues, resulting in Two having his arm entangled in the seatbelt and Morpheus punching him in the face.)

Two: Oww! Get off me you bald gap-toothed freak! (slaps Morpheus with his free arm)

Morpheus: You are you calling a freak? Have you looked in the mirror recently? (tries to stab Two with his sword)

Two: I'm a vampire - I don't have a reflection! Idiot! (cuts his way free of the seatbelt and tries to slice Morpheus's ear off)

Trinity: (to Keymaker) You don't seem to be helping in your escape much!

Keymaker: (sulky) That's because you were mean to me

(meanwhile the police car with the Agents in it has moved closer and Agent Thompson decides now would be a good time to try out this really good move he has been practicing)

Agent Thompson: Watch this guys! It's gonna be really cool!

(Agent Thompson climbs onto the roof of the police car and then jumps over onto yet another random car, squishing it ever so slightly and making it flip, leading to another explosion)

Random Car Driver's last thought: I wonder if my motor insurance is gonna cover this.

(Agent Thompson then jumps onto the bonnet of the car with the action going on in it)

Agent Thompson: Wow! That is the first time that actually worked! Go me! (gets a tin opener out and creates a new sunroof for the car) Hello in there?

(Morpheus greets Agent Thompson by attempting to shoot him, which is useless because he just does the cool bullet-dodging Agent move. Trinity decides to be sensible and slam on the brakes, thus sending Agent Thompson rolling across the freeway. He looks slightly annoyed. The others don't notice this because they are still dealing with Twin Two)

Morpheus: Get that razor off me! It's not like I need a haircut!

Two: You've got that right baldy!

Morpheus: Don't call me that!

(Morpheus tries to stab Two with sword again, and is more effective. Two phases to avoid the blade and ends up floating out of the car. He is picked up by One as he drives past)

Two: We are getting aggravated

One: Yes we are

Two: Because people keep saying we are pointless. When we are not. I mean look at our hair! We are cool.

One: Yes we are

Two: And we, Twin Two are the best

One: Yes we. Hey! No WE, Twin One are the best! (slaps Two)

Two: No! We are! (pulls One's hair)

(a full-on cat fight breaks out in the Twins SUV, leading to them swerving all over the road. They head straight for Morpheus who is standing by the now ruined remains of the car)

Morpheus: Trinity get him out of here!

Trinity: (spots shiny Motorbike truck) Come on shorty

(Trinity grabs the Keymaker by his collar and jumps with him off the bridge on to the truck. Morpheus is left standing there in the path of the speeding SUV with the Twins still fighting inside)

Two: We are!

One: We are! We are the oldest.

(Morpheus jumps out of the way just in time (A/N dammit. so close) and slices his sword along the side of the vehicle, really messing the paintwork up. Being an unstable and probably not very fuel efficient SUV, it immediately flips. Morpheus then FINALLY uses some bullets effectively and shoots the petrol tank out, making a really big explosion)

One: (flying away) Awww craaaap!

Two: (flying away) We are we saaaaayyyy!

Trinity: Ooh big explosion. I wonder if I get to be captain now? I can hope. (notices Keymaker) Problem?

Keymaker: (shakes head quickly)

Trinity: Good. Now which bike shall we steal? (picks one and starts to hotwire it)

Keymaker: (hands her the key) Here you go

Trinity: Wow if I ever decide to go in for a life of crime I know who to call (starts bike with a roar) I love my job

(Trinity rides it off the truck, to the slight surprise of the driver)

Driver: My boss is never gonna believe me. (resigns from his job and dies a few years later, a broken man)

(Trinity with her little mascot-like Keymaker proceeds to dodge in and out of the traffic in a precarious fashion)

Keymaker: (worried) Can't I have a crash helmet? Please?

(Agent Johnson tries to squash them with a truck, but the motorbike turns out to be slightly more manoeuvrable and they dart away now going against the flow of traffic)

Keymaker: (whimper)

Trinity: Oh don't be such a cry-baby (spots Morpheus approaching on the top of another truck) This is your stop anyway

(Morpheus, perched on his sword stuck in the side of the truck, grabs the Keymaker and throws him up on to the top)

Keymaker: (looking winded) Oww

Morpheus: (sings) Riding along on the top of a truck.

(Agent Johnson chooses this moment to jump off a bridge and join them on the truck)

Morpheus: Get down. I know you are quite low down anyway, but get down further.

Agent Johnson: Why Mister. erm. Morpheus. We meet at least.

Morpheus: And you are?

Agent Johnson: A. Johnson. Hang on a minute, I think we've got the wrong scripts (swaps scripts) Ahh this is right - yeah I don't do much talking. So carry on.

(Morpheus kicks him in the head and battle commences. Punches and kicks are exchanged, and Morpheus almost falls off the truck, grabbing hold of Agent Johnson's tie to hang on to)

Agent Johnson: Argh! Let go of my tie! (punches him) Not the tie - never the tie!

(Agent Johnson neatly tucks his tie back in and continues the fight. Almost falling off again, Morpheus grabs his sword out of the side of the truck and swipes at Agent Johnson, neatly cutting his dear tie)

Agent Johnson: (sobs) My tie! My lovely Agenty tie and special Agent tie clip! You bastard!

(driven to a rage Agent Johnson pushes Morpheus off the back of the truck. He lands on top of the car Niobe and Ghost are following in, making a really quite large dent in their bonnet and breaking the windscreen)

Niobe: (pissed) Awww man my wheels! You are so paying for that to be mended!

Morpheus: (clinging onto the car) Technically it is that Agent's fault - he pushed me!

Niobe: Go kick his ass. And then send him the bill for this!

Agent Johnson: (to Keymaker) And now you will be deleted

Keymaker: Eep! Nazgul! Duh'I mean Agent!

(Morpheus jumps back onto the truck and barrels into Agent Johnson, knocking him flying off of the truck)

Morpheus: Ha-ha! Now who's falling off the truck?!

(Agent Johnson takes over the driver of the truck and Agent Thompson takes over the driver of another truck heading the same way)

Morpheus: Oh crap.

(Agent Thompson drives his truck into the back of Niobe's car)

Niobe: Dammit! (sticks her head out the window) I am sending the bill to your boss! Yeah Colonel Saunders guy is gonna hear of this! And it's coming out of your paycheck!

(back on top of the truck things are not looking good. It seems as if another giant Matrix-style fireball is imminent and Morpheus and the Keymaker are getting front row seats)

Keymaker: I should have stayed with the Merovingian. At least he didn't call me short and my little dungeon cell was safe!

Morpheus: If you are up there save us Superman! Duh'I mean Neo!

Agent Thompson: (evil smirk)

Agent Johnson: (evil smirk)

Trucks: BOOM!

(Morpheus and the Keymaker go flying in quite a comical fashion while the trucks crumple up and then all around them turns into a giant fireball. Neo dramatically sweeps in and drags them out of it, and then presumably takes Morpheus away to the exit. What happens to the Keymaker, a program who cannot exit the Matrix is never clearly explained. I guess they just left him somewhere until they plugged back in. And then of course later he gets shot and dies. Poor guy. He really should have stayed with Mero.)

And thus ends the mini-parody of the Freeway scene and that bit just before it. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did then good. I'm glad. If you didn't well. tough luck.