Current A/N: Yeah, so I wrote this, then I re-posted it, now I'm re-reposting it because an anonymous reviewer pointed out a few spelling errors that both me and my proofreaders missed. So, Thanks, and good reading!
A/N: Okay, I wrote this story and posted it about a year ago or so ago.
Recently, I was looking over it, 'cause I hadn't read it in a while and decided
to update it a little, you know, revisions, make everything clearer, yadda,
yadda. Yeah, so, tell me what you think, if I should keep it a one shot or
continue it. (yes, I'm actually updating stories now that I have time, which I
haven't for the last two years). Well, enjoy! (Oh, and BTW, I noticed that in a
lot of fic's, Inuyasha is portrayed as rather brash, crude, and, well, kinda
stupid. Personally, though, I believe that it's a mask. Frankly, I think that
he's quite smart, and just doesn't show it. Since this fic is all about his
"inner turmoil" I decided to show the side of him that being raised
with intelligent and caring parents gave him before being ripped from them).
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, not that I don't wish I did. ^-^
Why isn't life as simple as the rain? Life has always just been to complicated, the Shikon no Tama, the demons you fight, the people you protect. Frankly, quite often it gets overwhelming. You always do your best to protect the people. No. Not the people. The person that you love. The problem is, no matter what you do, something goes wrong. You say something bad, act out of accordance with Her social standards, and suddenly words that stab like burning swords pierce your heart. That's not what really kills, though. It's that in Her face there is none of that anger, none of the hatred. All that's there is pain, just pure and utter sorrow. And for the life of you, you just can't figure out what it is. When the girl who you someday wish to mate's face turns to that deep sadness, your life just turns to dust. Especially when the only thing you know is that it's all your fault.
The most horrid part of it all, though, is that when She's not showing the pain, she gives this tenderness, a kindness that seems to permeate her entire being. It makes you feel, just for a moment, that she might really love you. But then you do or say something stupid and again her face is a distressful mask. The suffering from the varied emotions just multiplies when the Outsider is brought into the equation. She takes Her form, Her face, and Her love and warps it into something not right. The Outsider always searches me out, forcing upon me the knowledge that she loves me. I loved her, possibly, once, but once She came into my life, I was complete, there was no wish or want for the Outside. There is someone else in my life. She is in my life.
I have no need for the Outsider, the only thing she could do for me is find shards, and She can find them just as well, maybe even better. If the Outsider would only leave, back through the magic from whence she came, my life would be all the better for it. That's not going to happen, though. The Outsider is much too attached to me, and even if she did leave, there is still the matter that the Outsider has part of Her soul. If she truly cared anything for me, she would return it to the proper owner, but that would mean the Outsider would die. And there's no way she'd actually choose to DO that willingly.
The rain is so much simpler than life, than love. All it cares about is slipping through the clouds, into the sky. Falling to the ground like little teardrops from your loved one's eyes. Life is not like rain, though. You have choices in every matter in life, and the rain, no matter how simple, has no option as to what path it follows. Soon enough, I'll reveal my true feelings, those that I've felt since we met, but known since she first hugged me all those weeks ago. Someday, she will know. But today is not that day.
"Inuyasha?" From the forest, She emerges, searching for this bedraggled soul, "You really shouldn't be out in the rain, I'm worried that you'll catch a cold."
"Keh. Stupid woman, I'm a demon. I don't get sick."
"Oh, okay then. Please, though, will you go back inside, it's cold out and I told the others that I wouldn't return without you."
"Fine, then, wench. Just leave me alone and I'll come in in a few minutes." Watching as She turned and left, Inuyasha thought to himself how very beautiful Her face was. Hers, not the copying Outsider's, but Hers. His soon-to-be Mate's. Kagome's.