By tim gueguen

The characters and situations this story is based on are the property of their respective copyright holders. This story is intended for non-commercial entertainment purposes, with no intent to violate commercial copyright for personal gain.


"What do we have Maya?" asked John Koenig as he walked into Moonbase Alpha's Command Centre.

"Sensors have detected a large spacecraft heading in our direction," she replied. "It's just coming into visual range now." The red haired Psychon woman tapped one of the controls on her desk control panel. A large cubical object appeared on the main viewscreen at the far end of the room. It looked vaguely like a flying oil refinery or chemical plant. Maya frowned as she read the data that appeared on her desk viewscreen. "Computer estimates the object to be approximately 3,000 meters in length. Some sort of distortion is preventing an accurate mass measurement I'm afraid."

"I don't think it really matters. A ship the size of a small city," mused Koenig.

"If they're hostile John we're screwed," said Tony Verdeschi glumly from his desk.

"Sir, we have an incoming signal from the object!" called out Alibe Kurand from the communications desk.

"Put it up on the screen," ordered Koenig.

The shot of the alien ship was replaced by an image of a humanoid alien. Male, its skin was a pale white. One eye was like a normal human's, the other some sort of cybernetic implant. A large plate of some sort was inbedded in the top of its bald skull, and a large tube lead from the plate to someplace on its body not visible to the camera. The figure stared blankly. "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Do not resist. Resistance is futile," it stated in a flat voice with no emotion.

"Red alert!" shouted Koenig. He had no doubt given a statement like that, given with no preamble, no sign of offering to negotiate, that these Borg were hostile. He bent over his desk and activated the communications system. "Alan, get the Combat Eagles off the pad now!"

Alan Carter stared back at him from the communications screen, a determined look on his face. "We're already preparing for launch Commander. We don't have much of a chance...."

"I know Alan. But we're not going out without a fight."

"Shields at maximum power!" said Tony. "Laser batteries deploying!" Tony looked at Koenig. "For all the good its gonna do us John. Something that size probably has enough firepower to blow the Moon apart."

Maya cut off any response Koenig might have made. "Sensors are detecting an energy buildup."

"Another Borg ship?" asked Koenig.

Maya shook her head. "No, it's almost like...." Her eyes widened as new data appeared on her screen. "It''s the same energy pattern that Dorcon spacecraft use! They've just materialised. 3 ships." Maya tapped a control, and an image appeared on the main screen of 3 Dorcon ships.

"That's all we need," growled Koenig. Their previous encounter with the Dorcons had seen much of Alpha damaged, and several Alphans killed, when they had tried to seize Maya for her brainstem.

"Sir, they're opening communications with the Borg ship," said Alibe from her station.

"Put it up on the screen," ordered Koenig.

A dark haired woman appeared. "I am Consul Tarza, of the Federated Worlds of Dorcon," she said, the contempt in her voice matching the expression on her face. "Our communications systems have once more detected Borg use of the phrase 'Resistance is futile.' As your species has been warned before, we have the interstellar copyright on that phrase regarding its use for invasion and conquest!"

Maya and Tony looked at each other in disbelief. "Copyright!?" said Tony.

"You will power down any and all weapons systems now," continued Tarza. "And you will allow our lawyers to board your ship and present you with an injuction prohibiting further use of that phrase."

"The Borg are responding," said Alibe. With a flick of a switch she made the Borg transmission appear alongside the Dorcon one.

"We do not recognise any legal claims to the phrase 'Resistance is futile,'" responded the Borg onscreen. "You will surrender and be assimilated. Except for the lawyers of course."

"It seems lawyers are unpopular no matter where you go," said Koenig flatly.

"You dare! Well, we'll show you what we do to those who ignore interstellar copyright regulations!" snarled Varda. "All ships open fire!"

Alibe switched the main screen to a view from the long-range cameras. The Alphans watched as the Borg cube and the Dorcon ships, with their large domes, began to fire energy beams at each other.

"What do we do now?" asked Tony.

Koenig crossed his arms. "We stay the hell out of it. We have enough problems already without getting mixed up in someone else's lawsuit."

"Where's Perry Mason when you need him?" muttered Alibe.


Another short and silly idea of mine, based on the fact the Dorcons used the phrase "Resistance is futile" 20 years before anyone ever heard of the Borg.