Silmarian Fun
By Aguachica

Disclaimer: I do not own QFG. I own a copy of each of the games, but not
the GAME, game. You know?

The sun was shining in Silmaria. Children were playing in the sand. Merchant's shouts to potential customers could be heard above the pounding yet peaceful waves. A Hero exercised on the beach. It would have been a perfect day if Katrina, the ex-Dark Master, could have been out there enjoying it.

Katrina uttered a short scream of frustration and hurled the crystal ball from her. What right had this crystal to show her beautiful scenes she could not be a part of?

But why could she not be a part of them? After all, she was able to be in the sunlight ever since her last reincarnation. Plus, she didn't have that little blood-drinking habit anymore. There was absolutely no reason why she couldn't go outside and mingle.

She decided almost immediately; she was going to have fun. She started to walk out the door then paused, encountering another problem. If she went out there in her usual black cloak, she would die (yet again) of heat.

This was solved almost as quickly as the first problem. Katrina had always thought she looked good in light blue. It set off her dark, curly hair and black eyes quite well.

She glanced at the now shattered crystal ball. The Hero was still on the beach just outside the town gates. Okay, first stop, the beach. Defiantly the beach. She might even stay for a while, about a few hours. It depended on how long the Hero stayed. It was irritating that she could never remember his name. Every time she thought she had it, it changed. Very irritating.

She thought about sailing to the beach from Zante, but she decided on a faster way to travel. She conjured up a portal that made Kreesha's look tiny and weak.

The portal would have worked quite nicely. It had the desired effect. She appeared in a shower of glimmering stars and colorful swirls. It would have been very impressive and romantic if she hadn't landed in the middle of the ocean. Well, not exactly the middle. More like thirty feet offshore.

The Hero paused in the middle of throwing a rock. This was a mistake. A few seconds later he was jumping around holding his arm.

"Muscle cramp!" He screamed.

Unfortunately, this caused him to drop the rock. He started hopping on one foot and waving his injured arm in the air.

This was bad for Katrina. It wasn't that she couldn't swim, but she had never tried to swim under these circumstances. She was laughing so hard that she was in immediate danger of drowning.

The now red-faced Hero noticed her and leapt into the water, crying, "Never fear, my lady in distress! I shall save you!"

This fantasy was ruined by the realization that our favorite Hero had not gotten around to reading "Handbook to Swimming" yet. In other words, the Hero made a clunk as he hit the bottom.

Still laughing hysterically, Katrina swam down to the Hero and gracefully brought him to the surface. She shoved him out of the water and then climbed out herself. As soon as he hit the sand, Katrina knew this trip would be worthwhile.

As soon as he recovered, the Hero turned to her and spluttered out "What happened?"

Katrina was worried that if she recounted the whole incident, the Hero might be too embarrassed to entertain her the rest of the evening. She stood and curtsied. "I must thank thee for saving my life, kind sir. I am glad to not have a watery grave.

The Hero blanched at the thought of a watery grave and looked around for a wraith. She fondly remembered how paranoid the experience with a Rusulka's ex-boyfriend had left him.

While she was reminiscing, a light of recognition had come into the Hero's eyes. "Katrina, is that you?"

Katrina nodded. "Are you injured?"

The Hero nodded quickly. "Awful battle. Those water dragons I fought off while saving you were pretty tough." He patted his sword and grimaced fiercely as he poked himself. He casually put his sword back the right way.

Katrina bowed her head in silent mirth. If she had thought he had had a crush on her back in Mordavia, he had made it plain now.

The Hero blushed and turned towards the town gates. "I'm going to go to the Dead Parrot Inn for a little reward for working out. Would you like to join me?"

He held out his arm and promptly fell over. Katrina walked ahead, casting a Heal spell on the Hero as she passed him. He had probably forgotten how to cast it.


Katrina and the Hero stepped into the Dead Parrot Inn. Many of the Part-time residents of the Inn/Tavern jumped up to greet them.

Ugarte slunk over and grabbed Katrina's hand, shaking it enthusiastically. "Who is your most charming friend?"

The question was directed at the Hero, but Katrina answered first. "Awww! A small guy with a cute accent!"

Katrina patted Ugarte on the head and turned her attention to studying her surroundings.

Ferrari almost gave half a thought to getting up and greeting his servant's-er, his "friend's"-guest. He quickly squashed such thoughts, as moving would be a great effort. Besides, he was certain they would come to him as so many other things in life had.

Katrina saw the ugly and suspicious man in the corner eyeing her. She immediately turned to the Hero and suggested that they go and get drinks at the bar. Quickly. It felt like something exciting would happen over there. The Hero agreed, as Ugarte had already suckered a thousand drachmas from him. He hadn't really wanted to pay one thousand hard-earned drachmas to find out that Nawar liked him.

The Hero went to the counter and ordered two Ouzels. She waited at a nearby table near a young harem girl, who was running the knife throwing area of the bar (the owner must be male. Only a male would combine drinking and knives.). She watched the girl for a while and the girl watched her back. To start the fun, Katrina first pointed to the Hero, then to herself, clearly mouthing "mine" The harem girl frowned.

Just then the Hero returned with the drinks. Katrina grabbed his arm and cooed, "Did you get us drinks, Hot Stuff? How thoughtful of you!" The harem girl started to turn rather red and began grinding her teeth. Katrina, with one arm still around the Hero, grinned and winked.

The Hero finally noticed Nawar, which should have been fairly easy as she was purposefully standing directly in his line of vision and clearing her throat. He called her over.

"Hey, Nawar! Have you met Katrina?"

Nawar shook Katrina's hand, using this opportunity to hiss, "That's my boyfriend you're sitting next to!"

Katrina smiled sweetly and replied "I believe that he asked me to go out with him after he jumped in the ocean to save my life. So, if you'll take my advice on how to get a guy, try taking a long walk off a short dock. Maybe Ferrari will save you. You two would look quite cute together."

Steam started coming out of Nawar's ears at this insult and she turned away in disgust. Katrina, quite satisfied with herself, sipped her drink. It had a sharp, pine-like taste. It was the most delicious drink she'd had in over one hundred years.

After a few games of Catch-a-Color, both Katrina and the Hero were relaxed and on good terms. Katrina had let the Hero win all of the games. She didn't really need to win, while Mr. Over-inflated Ego might have a temper tantrum if he lost to his date. He hadn't lost a knife throwing game since he was in Spielburg.

The Hero turned to Katrina and, panting slightly from telling of all his adventures where the villagers had named him hero of (insert town name of reader's choice), suggested, "We could go over to Gnome Ann's Land Inn. Ann Agrama mentioned they would have a belly dancer performing tonight. Sounds very romantic."

Katrina rolled her eyes, but agreed. Anyone who thought that belly dancing was romantic was an idiot, but we already knew that about our Hero, didn't we? Besides, something was always happening at Gnome Ann's Inn. You had to beware of salmonella.


Gnome Ann's Inn had been freshly painted in blinding yet cheery colors. It fondly reminded Katrina of the gypsy wagons in Mordavia. Pushing thoughts of homesickness from her mind, she occupied herself by observing the occupants of the Inn.

A pretty young Katta was playing her panpipes in the corner. A Canine was sipping his coffee and wagging his tail contentedly. And, of course, Gnome Ann was bustling back and forth from the kitchen. Katrina gagged on the odor of burning food that drifted from the kitchen.

Ann gave a sequel of glee when she saw the Hero. "Wait up for a second, will ya, Timestopper?"

`The Hero paused and motioned for Katrina to go in and sit down. She sat next to the Canine. There had never been any Canines in Mordavia. They mostly kept to themselves in Inja, although there were a few families growing in Tarna. She wondered if they all had purple tipped tails.

The Canine leaned over to her and offered his paw. Katrina shook it. "Hello. I am Wolfie, a simple artist, and it is very nice to meet you."

Katrina introduced herself. Just then the Hero went backstage, probably to talk to the belly dancer. Katrina, felling strangely jealous, plotted revenge on the belly dancer. Setting loose a pack of necrotaurs seemed like a nice idea.

Then the curtain opened-and the Hero appeared in a harem outfit. His face turned bright red as he danced and the room warmed several degrees.

Katrina giggled with the rest of the audience as the Hero twirled and bowed. He dashed backstage to change the second the Katta musician paused for breath.

The Hero emerged from backstage, still blushing furiously. It seemed that he wasn't sure that dressing as a harem girl was the best was to impress a date. This time he was right.

The night drew to a close. Morning approached as Katrina bid the Hero farewell. This night had been one of the happiest she had ever had. It was a welcome change from the eternal blackness she had experienced in Hades and in her castle.

After a short good-bye, Katrina summoned a portal back to her castle. As she walked into her sitting room, she sensed a magical energy that had not been there before. She prepared herself for battle.

But battle did not come. A tapestry radiated magical energy as it replayed and preserved that magical evening of Silmarian fun for the rest of eternity.