New Author's Notes: In honor of the one year anniversary of the first chapter of 'The Confessions Trilogy' I have decided to perform a massive edit of this story, and will be going over every single chapter. I will also be going over every chapter of the other two stories as well, but as I am also working on two other stories at the moment I won't be doing that right away. Below you will find all the original author's notes from the story, because I hadn't the heart to part with them, and then beyond that the new and improved story. Maybe this will become a tradition...we'll just have to wait and see!
Though not described in detail, this story does deal with rape so be warned if that sort of topic bothers you
Original Author's Notes: Okay, so I know this idea has been used before, but I hope you all can still enjoy the story just the same. Reviews are always appreciated, including criticism, as I always want to improve my writing skills. Thanks, and enjoy!
Title: Confessions of a Broken Heart
Rating: PG-13 (rated for violence, language, and implied sexual situations)
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
"O speak again bright angel, for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,
As is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned..."
Leaning against her hand, resting her chin safely in her cupped palm, Kagome sighed as she felt her eyes droop slightly, listening absentmindedly as Hojo droned his lines below. She was standing on a makeshift balcony, dressed in a gown of flowing pink silk that her mother had spent hours sewing together, complete with a yellow sash around her waist, and her long ebony hair was curled and falling lightly over her shoulders and down her back. The stage lights gave her an ethereal look, and her creamy skin practically seemed to glow.
Why had she ever agreed to do this? She wondered silently for at least the thousandth time since rehearsal had started at 4:00 pm. It was so boring, and she would have much rather been back in the Feudal Era with Inuyasha, hunting for jewel shards. At least then she might feel useful, but this...
Hojo stopped speaking, and everyone turned to look at her, taking into consideration the fact that everyone encompassed her costar and her drama teacher; by now everyone else had the sense to go home.
Realizing, with a blush, that she was supposed to speak now, Kagome jumped to attention and cleared her throat and eloquently as possible.
"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I'll no longer be a Capulet."
"Shall I hear more or shall I speak at this?"
"Tis but thy name that is my enemy:
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? It is nor hand nor foot
Nor arm nor face nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O be some other name.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name, which is no part of thee,
Take all myself."
To her immense relief, once Kagome finished her rather long speech their drama teacher stepped in and prevented Hojo from 'announcing' his presence to Juliet. Glancing over at the clock, the seventeen-year-old high school girl was shocked to see that it was already past 11:30, and sighed, knowing she would, yet again, get very little sleep as she still had lots of homework waiting for her at home, piled neatly on her desk.
"Very well done, Kagome," Mrs. Dun, the drama teacher, said with a smile. "I must admit, I was somewhat worried at first when you agreed to do this, seeing how this is the first week where you have attended all the practices, but you have proven me wrong. You have really practiced, I can tell. Well done."
"Thank you," Kagome nodded in acceptance of the compliment, a slight pink coloring her cheeks as she felt Hojo beaming up at her from where he still stood beneath the extremely fake trees.
"I told you she would be good for the part," The boy commented with a large smile, and Kagome felt herself blush even more. She hated it when he flattered her so much...ever since she'd met Inuyasha, well...every other boy was just too sickeningly sweet. She giggled at the thought.
Mrs. Dun nodded, "Indeed you were right, Hojo. I'm glad you asked her to try out for the part."
Kagome wanted to choke at that statement, forcing her tart reply back down her throat. If she had been asked to do this, she never would have agreed. In reality, Hojo had practically drug her on stage that first day nearly a month ago, begging her to be Juliet in the school's annual Shakespearean play. It had only been after he gave her one of those smiles that made him look like a puppy dog that she relented. But even then, she had thought to audition...not actually get the part! Imagine her surprise when the results were announced and she was named as the new Juliet!
Ever since she'd been having to come back more often, slowing down their hunt for the jewel shards on the other side of the well, and this time she had been gone for a full week. Inuyasha was going to kill her for being gone so long.
"I do apologize for keeping you here so late," Mrs. Dun continued with a smile, yawning to accent her point, although Kagome didn't need to be reminded as her own eyes were beginning to sag with exhaustion. "I suppose I just felt that, since you two don't work together very much, you needed the practice. I hope neither of you will be in trouble with your parents."
Both Kagome and Hojo shook their heads before Kagome turned and climbed slowly down the back of the 'balcony' which, in reality, was just a ladder with an extended front peeking out over a wall. She landed on the ground with a thud, her skirts catching on the heel of her shoe, and she cursed silently as she remembered why she never wore high heels.
Mrs. Dun checked her watch before looking at them. "So I'll see you both here tomorrow at four?"
Kagome froze. "Um, actually Mrs. Dun, I'm not going to be here tomorrow." She wore a hesitant smile on her face, hoping no one would ask why, but also recognizing that, with her way of life, that was asking too much.
"Oh Higurashi, are you having one of your skin treatments again?" Hojo asked, and Kagome felt her heart skin.
"My what?" Her voice sounded low and exhausted.
"Your skin treatments," The brown-haired boy replied honestly. "The ones where they put fish oils on your skin to prevent that rash that had you out of school for a week. Your grandfather said you are still having to be treated for it, or else it might come back."
"He said that, did he?" She wanted to strangle the old man back at the shrine for that one.
"You shouldn't be embarrassed about it, Higurashi," Hojo consoled, putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault."
"Oh, I know..." She waved her hand as though to wipe the comment away. "But anyway, no, I'm not getting one of those, um...skin treatments...I'm just going to visit my aunt." When had she learned to lie so smoothly, she wondered?
"Well I'm sorry to hear that you won't be here," Mrs. Dun commented with a frown, "But then, after your performance tonight I feel better about your being gone. Just make sure you practice."
"Of course," Kagome replied with a nod. "Good night, Mrs. Dun."
"Good night!" The teacher smiled merrily before exiting the stage, leaving Kagome and Hojo alone.
"So, um," He shuffled his feet, "Would you like me to walk you home?" His voice was shy, as usual, and Kagome blushed yet again, deciding she should just paint a permanent red on her cheeks from that day forward.
"No thanks, Hojo, I kind of want some time to think on my own," She replied with a smile, trying to sound kind but firm. If she wasn't he would persist, and she was not in the mood that night.
For his part, he looked momentarily disappointed but quickly recovered. "Okay, I'll see you soon then," He said with a wave and a smile, leaving the stage in the same direction as the teacher. Kagome just shook her head with a smile...when would that boy ever learn?
The night was cold as she pushed open the back door of the school, the front inaccessible as the gates were locked tightly shut at such a late hour, and Kagome mechanically hugged her blue jacket around her slim frame as she stepped outside. But it was also a clear night, and seeing the stars reminded her of the Feudal Era, where you could see the sky for miles, and thinking about that brought a specific person to mind.
"Inuyasha..." Her sigh brought forth a cloud of steam, and she watched as it slowly disappeared. A simple smile formed on her lips, and she wondered what he was doing at that moment.
The silver-haired, amber eyed hanyou seemed to be on her mind a lot lately...even more then usual. Perhaps it was the fact that she was participating in the play that practically embodied the spirit of unrequited love, but for some reason Kagome could practically feel her heart as it constantly ached to be near him.
At such a ridiculously hokey thought Kagome couldn't resist the giggle that bubbled up and out of her chest. "He's made me soft," she commented to the silent street around her, and smiled even more knowing that was something he would say.
She continued to walk, lost in her thoughts and as such not minding at all the fact that all the buses had stopped running for the night, which meant her trip was twenty minutes longer then usual. But about halfway home she felt her happy aura begin to fade as she got the distinct impression that someone was watching her, and more...that someone was following her. It was the same feeling Naraku's insects triggered whenever they were near, causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand up and her body to tense as well.
The feeling only grew stronger, and Kagome became very aware of just how empty the streets were, the sound of rustling garbage in the wind the only thing piercing the otherwise silent night. She started to wish desperately that she had allowed Hojo to walk her home after all, or at least that she had brought her arrows to practice, even though that would have received just a few questioning stares.
Her heart began to race, and Kagome noticed for the first time how dark the street was, for some reason feeling like the yellow street lamps weren't really doing their job. She breathed faster and quickened her pace.
Suddenly a hand reached out and covered her mouth, muffling her scream of surprise, and an arm simultaneously wrapped around her slim waist. Kagome felt herself being pulled against something, or rather, someone hard as she also felt something cold press against her throat, and her eyes widened in shocked fear when she realized that her attacker had a knife...that was now precariously poised over her delicate, sensitive skin. She was as helpless as a chicken caught by a farmer, and the thought caused her body to start shaking in earth-shattering quakes.
"Don't fight me, and don't scream, or I will kill you," A deep baritone voice resonated behind her, the clearly male owner's chest vibrating against her back as he spoke. He sounded calm, as though merely discussing the weather, and that only caused Kagome to be more alarmed then ever. No person in their right mind could sound so calm when holding a knife to someone's they?
Unsure of what else to do, she found herself nodding slowly, careful not to rub her skin against the knife as she did so, and felt herself being moved backward.
He pulled her slowly...painfully slowly...down the street until Kagome noticed out of the corner of her eye a small white van whose back doors were opened. She felt a new sense of foreboding in the pit of her stomach, and her panic reached its peak when her captor threw her onto something firm, but soft. It was a mattress.
Turning over so she was resting on her elbows, she got a good look at her attacker, but unfortunately was greeted by the sight of a man dressed all in black, the only visible feature being a pair of beady green eyes that were laced with cruelty. She'd seen that kind of evil before...Naraku...
"Wh-" Her voice faltered, and she swallowed. "What do you want with me?" Her voice was a fearful whisper, but the moment she spoke the knife instantly returned to her throat and she found herself pressed onto her back.
"I told you not to speak," the man hissed, now sounding more like a predator stalking his prey, and Kagome instantly closed her mouth, biting her lip in fear and inner pain.
The moment she felt his hands touch her arms she was able to answer her own question, knowing exactly what he wanted from her, and also knowing that there was nothing she could do...not with that damnable knife still in his hand. Silent tears leaked out the corners of her eyes and fell down her cheeks, and for the rest of the night only one name rang true and clear in her heart.