Title: The Adventures of Ferret Boy and Weasel Girl

Author: Tiny Q

E-Mail: one_legged_lesbian_seagull@hotmail.com

A/N: Well, I have had this idea for quite a while, but I sort of forgot about it.  Then I was going through one of my scribblers (I used to write everything out before I got my laptop) and I found my first two attempts.  So this is my third.  I was initially thinking of turning it into a comic, but I am using another idea for that.  Hopefully I will get that done soon and get it up on my site.  Anyhoo, I'm not too too pleased with this, but it's mildly entertaining in a cheesy unrealistic way. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  Any references to things that sound like they are from something else most likely are...

The Adventures of Ferret Boy and Weasel Girl

Chapter 1

Of Lava and Caterpillars


The thought it would be easy: snatch some rich kid and get the ransom. Sadly they snatched Draco and an adventure starved Ginny is along for the ride. They have no idea the hell they have just gotten themselves into...


            'You can't afford to toddle, girl,' Ginny thought to herself in urgency as she scurried over the bridge.  It was one of those ones made from vines and other jungle vegetation.  And of course it was swinging above a river of deadly lava.  She tried not to look down on it, but it was rather difficult seeing as there were many gaps in the bridge.  If she didn't look down on them she might very well fall through.

            She twisted about and looked behind her, swearing that they were hunting her down and that any moment their arrows would pierce her back and she would fall to her death.  Or at least fall until she managed to grab onto a conveniently placed hanging vine and swing herself up to beat them with her excessively fine fighting skills.  And the arrows?  Well, the heroine never dies in an action movie.

            Ginny came to an abrupt stop however, seeing the monster that barred her path.  It was long and furry, with too many legs to be natural.  She frowned at it, weighing her options as to how she could get around the beast without wasting an excessive amount of time.  Then it occurred to her: she would just have to jump over it. 

            Flinging her arms out for balance and making sure her side bag was safely tucked behind her back, she leapt, trying to pull off the sort of landing the vampire had done.  Unfortunately for Ginny however, she didn't quite have the balance of the undead.  Not to mention the wire system.  To make a long story short, Ginny fell of the wall.

            Ok, so she wasn't really on a bridge miles above a river of lava.  Nor was she running from the "they" that were hunting for her.  They were squirrels by the way.  She had seen them in the trees when she had balanced her way past.  And the monster?  A caterpillar. 

            Ginny let out an "oof" as her bum connected with the cobblestones that made up the sidewalk that ran along the wall.  She was about to get up and collect her belongings that had spewed their way out of her precious side bag, but never got the chance as laughter filled her ear drums.

            "That was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen, Weasley!" 

            Looking around with a sudden feeling of dread, Ginny spotted the one and only Draco Malfoy leaning against the wall she had just ungracefully, and painfully I might add, fallen off of.  She glared at him, wondering just how he came to be in Muggle London, dressed in Muggle clothing no less.  And was that a Gap bag in his hand?  Yes, by Merlin it was!

            "Obviously you haven't looked in a mirror recently then," she grumbled at him, pulling herself up off the ground, causing her sore bum to stick up in the air in the process.  This only caused the blonde before her to laugh even harder.  A feat she never thought he would be capable of.  Yet it happened none the less.

            Brushing off her short plaid skirt and straitening her grey fleece hoody, dislodging one of the zippers from her orange bra strap in the process, and finally tugging the black tank top back into proper place so half of her knickers weren't showing, she glared at him.  And may I add that a Weasley has a very threatening glare.  Especially the females of the lot.  Malfoy's peels of laughter slowly died until he was simply smirking at her and her arms that were placed firmly on her hips. 

            "And why are you holding a bag from a Muggle store, Mr. I-Don't-Like-Muggles-Cause-Daddy-Says-They're-Bad?" she sneered, stooping down and gathering her bag into her arms.  She then proceeded to stuff her life that had fallen out of the bag into its rightful place.  But as she squatted about close to the ground she began to realize that something was missing.  The most important object there was.

            "Raiders of the Lost Arc?" she heard the blonde's cold voice drawl and Ginny's head snapped up in horror.  He had her DVD!  "What kind of crap is this?"

            Her eyes widened.  Movies were her only escape.  Her only means to find adventure.  Ever since that incident in her fourth year in which she broke her ankle trying to save Sirius, the one who didn't really need saving, her mum had been even more protective of her.  So much so that when she was waiting for her ankle to heal she wasn't even aloud to leave the house!  Not even to watch the twins toss the Lawn Gnomes over the fence.  Because no, poor baby Ginny couldn't defend herself.  Not in the slightest.  And that was why Hermione brought her the DVD player. 

            Her parents had gotten it for her, but she didn't have use for it so she had given it to Ginny, who had the television her father had acquired the month before to her disposal.  Her dear old man never had the time to take it apart so Ginny had adopted it before he got a day off and attempted the terrible job. 

            Well, to make an excessively long story short, Ginny fell in love with movies.  Especially action movies.  Or adventure movies.  Or even comedies.  But adventure were by far her favorites.  Especially Indiana Jones.  Not only was the man rather cute, he got to do all sorts of fun stuff!  Like fly planes and run from snakes and giant rolling balls of stone.  It was her one true ambition in life, to live a life like that.  Oh, how she envied her brother Bill.  She was sure he got to do all the sorts of things Indiana got to do in his job.  Or at least he did until he took that desk job with Miss. Fleur. 

            But back to the story at hand however, Ginny was glaring at Draco.  And it was one of those evil Weasley female glares as I mentioned before. 

            "Give me my movie," she growled, holding out her hand.  "And it's not crap.  It's one of the best movies there is."  She glared harder.  She had just brought back Underworld and she had decided to once again rent Indiana's first movie.  It was just so great, but if that Slytherin wrecked it with his evil, filthy hands...

            "I'm sure it is," he drawled raising an eyebrow and reading what it said on the back.  "It sure sounds like a winner to me."  Then, without so much as glancing at her, he tossed the movie at her. 

            Her heart stopping, she reached out and caught it, much to her own surprise.  You see, Ginny's a little on the clumsy side.  Ok, she's a klutz.  But you probably deduced this by her little stunt of falling off the wall.  But yes, she caught the movie!  And she was about to do a little happy dance, but something made her stop.  Something that she didn't so much like the looks of.  Not in the slightest.

            Stuffing her movie into her bag, she took a step closer to the Slytherin before her, causing him to frown at her.  Gesturing with her eyes towards the black van that was slowly coming to a stop before them, she took another step closer.  She wasn't quite sure as to what her family's enemy could do, but she was getting the feeling that she would rather be beside him that be by herself. 


            Draco stared at the red head as though she had lost her mind.  But then he suspected that she never had one so it wasn't that great of a loss.  But regardless, she was coming towards him with her hair shorter than his and dressed like an utter fool.  Unlike himself, as he was dressed in only the best Muggle attire there was.  Well the best that he could find without raising too much suspicion on his part.  Wouldn't want Daddy to be all made in his jail cell, now would we?

            "Scared Weasel?" he sneered, now staring at the van as well.  It was a little odd, now that he thought about it.  He found himself taking a step back despite himself and the red headed ditz before him followed.  But then really, who wouldn't do just that?

            Suddenly the van came to a stop and the side door side back, revealing three people wearing black balaclavas.  They leaped out in a lightning quick fashion, holding odd black things that looked a little like ninety degree wands.  Draco found himself frowning and he heard the girl beside him gasp and step even closer to him as the three men effectively surrounded them. 

            "Isn't it a little warm out to be wearing those?" he frowned, glaring at them.  He wasn't about to be intimidated by some ridiculous looking Muggles, even if they him them surrounded and they were bigger than him.  And fatter in some cases, but that wasn't hard to be.  Yet give them a wand and then he might give them the benefit of the doubt, but until then, don't waste his time.

            "Malfoy," Ginny said slowly in a very quite voice.  She sounded extremely nervous and her eyes were flicking around like a daft animal in a cage.  It made Draco begin to think that maybe there really was something to worry about, even if they were just Muggles.  But the arrogant Malfoy in him told the nervous part to shove off.  What could some Muggle do anyways?  "Don't be stupid."

            "Their just Muggles," he sneered back, expressing his mind.  Well, he had been brought up that way after all.  Even if his father was no longer around him everyday, he still held some of his values.  Others had fallen away however.  But that didn't stop him from shooting a nasty sneer at the three men around him, who all seemed a little put out by his lack of decent fear. 

            "You sure this is the kid?" one of them suddenly asked.  He was the shortest of the lot and a little round in the midsection.

            "The hair's a dead give away," another said.  This one was very tall.  Almost like a pole.  "And besides, he's as arrogant as he should be."  The man hoisted the odd wand thing in his hand a little higher, as though to make sure Draco saw it.  Draco felt the Weasley tremble beside him.   

            "Alright," the shortest replied, then turned and frowned at Draco and Ginny from underneath his black mask.  "We're going to kidnap you kid."  Draco snorted and so did the others of his apparent kidnapping clan.  "Shut up," he snapped at them.  Then he turned back to Draco.  "And I guess your girlfriend too."

            "She's not my-"  But Draco never got to finish his sentence as Ginny had pulled his head down towards hers with trembling hands and kissed him firmly on the lips. 

            Draco felt his head spin.  He also felt ripples of excitement travel through his body like he had never flet before.  It was like he was being electrified.  He had never experienced anything like this when he had kissed other girls.  And he had had experience with quite a few, I might add.  But just as he began to snake his arms about her waist and was about to kiss her back, the girl pulled away and turned to the other men that were now just standing there. 

            "It's supposed to be a secret," she said in an earnest voice.  She was still leaning against him and Draco found himself pulling the girl closer to him.  It was then, and only then, that the pesky little Slytherin voice began to tell him that what he was doing was a horrendous insult to Slytherin/Gryffindor relations.  He told it to screw itself.

            Her words seemed to make his, well apparently their, proposed kidnapers laugh however. 

            "Get 'em both," a medium sized man, standing at the back of the circle, said with a lazy voice.

            With that quick movement the men had displayed before, Draco discovered that he was being restrained by the tallest of the men.  Glancing over he saw the red head being held in much the same fashion by the fatter one.  Yet she seemed to be putting up a better fight than he was.

            "Get your filthy hands off me you Muggle trash," he hissed at the man who stood behind him, struggling to get Draco into the van.  They were having to wait a bit though because Weasley had braced both her legs on the opening of the van doors, bracing her back against her captor.  He was sure the girl would have been screaming bloody murder if it hadn't been for the fact that there was a fat hand over her mouth.

            "Muggle?" the medium sized man scoffed.  "Is that some sort of new teen slang?"  He then proceeded to drop his fist forcefully on the stomach of the struggling red head.  Draco could hear her breath escape from where he was standing and saw her legs drop.  A moment later she was stuffed into the back of the van, where he went next.  The door slammed shut and the van sped off to who knows where.

            "My father will hear about this," Draco hissed as the men bound their ankles and legs with heavy rope then tossed them to the ground.  He heard the girl hiss.

            "We're counting on it," the medium sized one sneered at him, then turned back to the driver. 

            He glanced over to the girl beside him and took a double take.  She was glaring at him.

            "What?" he demanded in a cranky voice.  Well, you would be cranky as well if you were him.  This whole kidnapping business was a total drag on his ego.

            "Some hero you turned out to be," she hissed at him, glaring through her now effectively messed up hair, clips hanging in odd place and one swinging before her eyes.  "You're supposed to beat the crap out of the bad guys, not allow yourself to be captured without a fight.  You didn't even let them knock you unconscious before they got you in here!"  She let out a hiss of breath.  "I am going to kill you when I get my hands free."

            Draco got the feeling that the girl was telling the truth.  And this scared him more than it sanely should have.


A/N: Well there you go.  Not quite sure if I am too happy with kidnapping scene.  It seems a bit too drawn out and people would get suspicious really, but there's no helping it.  So should I continue?  Smash or trash?