Forbidden Love

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters here… just playing with them against their will. ^_^

'How Can I Not Love You' is sung by Joy Enriques and comes off the 'Anna And The King' soundtrack. For those of you reading this who have the time to download this song (it's a really great song!), I'd recommend listening to it while reading this little fic of mine, it's sort of like mood music. [Also 'cos the words to the song sound cheesy by themselves without the tune, so… ^_____^]

Last but not least, this fic is slash, so don't say you weren't warned!

How Can I Not Love You

Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on, Must not say
What we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you

Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

They lay together, limbs entwined, in the silver moonlight that spilled over them.

Dark mixed with light. One shone with the radiance of the immortal Eldar, the other was a mere mortal, one doomed to die when his time on Middle Earth had ended. A union that was not supposed to be, and yet was.

It seemed as though time had stopped just for them.

A callused hand ran through the golden tresses of the elf that lay curled against his side. Gently, as though afraid that the fair being would shatter and vanish at the slightest disturbance. Green eyes half-closed, savouring the man's touch, the steady rhythm soothing his soul, driving away all his doubts…

Then the spell broke as he sighed softly. A sigh of resignation, regret and more than a touch of pain.

"What's wrong?" The human's voice was concerned. A gentle hand on the side of his face, forcing him to look into the caring grey eyes.

"Nothing." The elf rolled over on the bed, turning his back so that he could hide the tears that threatened to spill any moment.

"You say it is nothing, but I know that something is bothering you. Tell me…"

The elf squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to ignore the thrill of longing that the comforting hand on his shoulder sent through him. And the stab of pain through his heart at what the future held for them. Drawing a deep breath, he spoke softly.

"Tonight… will be the last night…"

Silent comprehension dawned on the man. He waited for his elf to finish.

"Tomorrow, you will be crowned, and she…"

The words stuck in his throat with the bitterness of reality.

"Both of you will be… joined forever."

The last two words came out barely above a whisper.

The man leaned up on an elbow, and reached out to touch his lover's face, his fingers gently wiping away the trail of tears that had sprung from the closed lids. His face bore similar traces of the pain felt by his elf.

As he absently tucked a stray strand of hair behind a delicately pointed ear, he wished that things had turned out differently; that Fate had not been so cruel as to let him find his love, only to realise he had fallen for one whom he was never destined to be with.

Lying down once more, he pulled the unresisting elf towards him in a tight embrace. Pressing his face against his neck, he whispered in a voice that was full of emotion, "I wish you were the one I am to spend the rest of my days with. But no matter what happens, I just want you to know that… you will always have first place in my heart… for eternity."

The elf turned to face him fully, emerald eyes bright with tears. He looked so lost and vulnerable that the man felt as though his heart would break just seeing his love in such a state.

Tilting the elf's chin up, he looked deep into his eyes and said, "I will always remember you, my prince. Because I cannot forget you…" He pressed his lips to the elf's, tasting the saltiness of his tears.

Because I love you too much to forget you.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The sun rose on the White City, revealing the bustle of the people as they hurried to finish the final preparations for their King's arrival and his wedding.

Inside his room, Aragorn dressed himself in his ceremonial robes with a heavy heart. He couldn't help remembering what had passed the night before, hearing the whispered words over and over again…

Tonight… will be the last night…

In a few hours, the elf's words would come true, he would be bound to another, and they could no longer have each other to themselves, because he would belong to another.

He slammed his fist onto the table violently as he struggled to quell the anger and bitterness that rose up inside him. It was not fair!

He heard a sound outside his door, and on impulse, flung the door open, startling the maid passing by.

"My Lord…"

Ignoring her flustered curtsey, he simply said, "Could you find Prince Legolas and bring him here? There is an urgent matter I need to discuss with him…"

Bobbing her head, the maid immediately went on her way to find the elf.

Closing the door, Aragorn wondered why he had done that. After all, hadn't he decided that it would be best for both of them not to see each other until after…

After the ceremony.

There was a soft knock on the door and a hesitant voice called through the thick wood, "Estel? May I come in?"

Too late. Aragorn thought wryly to himself. Steadying himself, he took a deep breath and called out, "Enter."

The door opened softly and the elf slipped inside the room. He had a look of forced cheer about him, as though he were trying his best to hide something.

"You sent for me?"

Aragorn blinked and realized that he had been standing and staring at the elf for some time. Suddenly, it dawned on him that he did not even know why he had asked the maid to find Legolas.

"I… uh…" He started pacing about nervously, then went to the door and shot the bolt through to make sure that they were not disturbed.


He stopped his frantic pacing and took hold of the elf by his shoulders. "I cannot go through this. I… I just can't!" His grey eyes were aflame with something akin to panic, and his hands were shaking.

Legolas sighed and started to speak. "Estel, you know that - "

"No, Legolas, let me speak now, or I fear I might never get the chance to say this again." Aragorn's voice was rough with emotion. "I cannot marry her because I no longer love her. It would be torture to have to spend my days with her, thinking all the time of you, and what might have been. Don't you see? I cannot bear the thought of not having you with me!"

Legolas shook the near-hysterical human slightly and said, "Don't think that I do not know how you feel, but you were betrothed to her even before you realized your feelings for me. You made a promise to her then, and you must keep that promise now."

He engulfed the human in a fierce hug that served to hide the unshed tears in his eyes, then spoke gently, "Estel, we were never meant for each other, not in the way you want. Love her, Estel, love her as much as you can - "

"You don't know what you ask of me - "

"Hush, Estel," Legolas stroked the human's hair gently, his face a mask of pain. "Do it for her, for yourself, and… for me. Please. "

Aragorn buried his face in the elf's shoulder and drew a shaky breath. "I will try. I promise you nothing, but… I will try."

"That is all I ask for."

A blast from the trumpets at the city entrance drew them back to their reality.

Lifting his head, Aragorn stared into the elf's eyes, reading all his emotions as easily as though he were an open book, then pulled him closer -

One last time…

Their lips met in a passionate kiss that was their farewell to each other. Their last opportunity to hold each other, to taste each other…

The sound of the fanfare was coming closer…

They drew apart breathlessly. Legolas gave a bittersweet smile as he straightened the slightly rumpled robes of the human before him. "Go to her, Estel. And, I wish you joy."

Aragorn clasped his hand briefly and was about to reply when a loud knock sounded on the door. "My Lord, the Lady Arwen will arrive soon."

He shot a desperate glance at Legolas, who simply nodded at the door and whispered, "It is your duty. Go."

Aragorn held his gaze for a moment longer, brushed his fingers over his cheek as a parting gesture, then turned and left the room.

Behind him, the elf's composure gave way as tears slipped down his cheeks. Sinking down to the floor, he buried his face in his hands and wept as he had never wept before.

Namaarie, Estel. I love you.

When he left the room a long time later, there was nothing to show he had ever been in there, save for a small piece of parchment addressed to Aragorn, bearing a tiny oak leaf in a bottom corner.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *


Author's Notes:

So? What do you people think?

R & R, please? Flames are accepted too, tell me what you guys want to see, 'cos I haven't written the ending yet! ^_______^