Author: Alasia Moonstalker
Legalese: I don't own anything LOTR, but I do own the three girls.
Genre: Action/Adventure/Humor
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Three insane girls fall through the History Class floor into Middle Earth. One has an unbreakable guitar, the second a multitude of cigarette lighters and is a disorganized pack rat, and the third is sarcastic and has no respect for authority.

Chapter One:

"The voices in my head are snoring." The one on the left muttered and the light from the projector flickered as the slide changed and their History teacher continued to lecture.

"Again? God, is it just me or does this class just get more and more boring?" The one in the middle said, looking contrite.

"It's not just you." The one on the right said, doodling on the page on front of her - they were supposed to be notes, but the swirls and the freaky chicken in the corner indicated otherwise.

"Maybe we should start skipping history." The middle girl suggested, chewing in the end of her pen.

"Are you nuts!" The one on the right hissed. "If my mom found out..."

"God, I'm so glad we're not staying at you place this weekend." The one on the left said, leaning around the one in the middle to look at her friend. "Your mom scares the hell outta me."

The one on the right made a face as the one in the middle sighed. "Mom's good with this. Pizza and movies tonight for us."

"I like mom." Said the girl on the left. She had a habit of calling the middle one's mother 'Mom' as she had never learned her real name and thought of her as a second mom. "She's fun."

"Yeah, so, how about skipping the rest of our classes and taking a walk through the woods?" The girl on the right said. The other two nodded. The one on the left opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted as the teacher spoke directly to her.

"Miss Hayes, do you have something to say, or are you just filling the air with carbon?"

"I have a vitally important role in serving as a bad example, Mr. Barnes, you know this." Haley Hayes replied instantly. Next to her Karen Upchurch snorted and beside her Corrie Robbins giggled.

"Yes, thank you, Miss Hayes." Mr. Barnes replied dryly. "We had all forgotten. Please remain quite."

Haley grinned and swung booted feet up onto the table in front of her and as she tipped her chair back on two legs and picked up her backpack, which her friends tended to say was bottomless. She had her binder for school, two spiral notebooks, a green leather-bound journal she took everywhere for random entries and poems, and her writing binder, which, like the first was one of those thin, one inchers. She also currently had a copy of Mercedes Lackey's book entitled Brightly Burning her discman and cd carrier and three changes of clothes and toiletries in that bag. Currently the rocker seemed to be digging for something.

Karen's bag was a satchel really, it seemed endless as well, she kept her school things and her writing things in there as well. She also had three changes of clothes in her bag as well and a plastic shopping bag of toiletries tied to one side, all of these things had been left at Haley's house when they'd had their last weekend together. She was carrying the Artemus Fowl around in her bag - all three of them.

Corrie's bag, unlike the black of Karen's or the forest green of Haley's Jansport was purple. It carried her weekend things as well, forcing Corrie to remove her school binder, notebooks and History book and carry them around all day. She had glasses perched on her nose and she was actually taking notes.

"Ah ha!" Haley declared pulled what appeared to be a cherry lollipop from her pack before she let out a startled shriek and fell over backwards. Karen and Corrie started laughing as they turned to look, only to find that Haley, her bag and the chair she'd been sitting on were completely gone.

"What's going on... Karen!" Corrie said, startled as she turned back and picked up her notebook as she noted that she was suddenly become much shorter than the table. Karen had pulled on her bag, grabbed the case to her acoustic guitar and stood up on her chair.

"We're sinking into the floor Corrie!"

"I noticed!" Corrie exclaimed and then they were falling. Karen let out a scream as she Corrie, their chairs and Corrie's bag and books crashed into the rocks below them. They started yelling, trying to get untangled as a voice drifted over them.

"It's about time you two showed up."

Both girls looked up to see Haley watching them a few feet away, her bag at her feet, lounging in the blue plastic chair and sucking on her lollipop as if falling through the floor into a foreign world was not at all unnatural. Both girls glared at her and finished untangling themselves, gathering their things and abandoning their chairs to join Haley.

"There's a forest that way." Haley said. "looks like we're walking."

"Give me a sec." Corrie said, kneeling and pulling everything out of her bag before fixing it so that all she had to carry was her history book. She stood and nodded to her friends and the three turned to walk, only to come face to sword point.

"Holy Hell!" Haley screeched, backing away from the sword she'd almost impaled herself on. "Watch where you point that thing!"

The man was dirty, covered in grime and smelled. He was clad in greens and browns and accompanied by another man with a sword, a Dwarf with an Axe and an Elf with a bow and arrow. Four Hobbits standing behind them. Haley was glaring daggers at the man who was aiming his weapon at her.

"Who are you?" He asked. "And where did you come from?"

"I am Haley Hayes, these are Karen Upchurch and Corrie Robbins. We come from History class 303, Santa Rita High School, Tucson, Arizona, United States of America, Western Hemisphere, Earth."


"Nothing. Where the hell are we?" Haley demanded, then, wanting to be sure. "And who are you?"

"We are outside the woods of Lothlorien. I an Aragorn, son of Arathorn. My companions are Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck of the Shire. This here is Gimli, son of Gloin. He is Boromir, son of Denethor, and he is Legolas, of the Woodland Realm."

"Uh huh, and I'm Santa Clause."

"Excuse me, Miss, but, who is Santa Clause?" Sam asked, causing all three girls to gape at him.

"Never mind." Karen sighed as Haley stuck her sucker in her mouth and turned her back on the group. "We're completely lost and are unarmed."

"It is not safe here, you shall travel with us." Aragorn said, turning to lead the group. The three girls following.

* * *

Later they rested on the edge of the forest under the eaves of the trees near the Nimrodel, an icy cold river. Haley was lying on the ground, her dark blue hooded, zip-up sweater bunched up under her head as she stared at the sky. Karen sat strumming her guitar and humming softly to herself while Corrie dug in her bag for something. She pulled out clothes and books and binders and pens and wrappers. A pack of gum, ten dollars that had escaped her wallet. A laser pointer which she fiddled with for a second before setting it aside. Finally she turned her bag upside down and allowed everything in it to come out before she pawed through it and emerged victorious with a beaten bag of Grandma's Cookies.

"It's like spring cleaning at my house." Karen said, staring at the mess before Corrie.

"Cor hasn't properly cleaned out her bag since the end of last year, Ren, you know this." Haley said.

"I know, but I'm still getting scary flashbacks of my brother's bedroom before her went into the Army." Karen said.

Corrie opened the bag and began eating the crumbled cookies with two fingers as Karen began pawing through the mess and repacking Corrie's bag, leaving a pile of trash out.

"Is your room like this, Cor?" Karen asked.

"'Course." Corrie said around a mouthful of chocolate, chocolate chip cookie.

Their banter continued even as Haley rose, tied her sweater around her waist, grabbed her pack and moved to sit on a fallen log by Boromir. She opened the front pocket, pawing through it until she produced two more suckers, an orange one and another red one. She offered the red one to Boromir, who took it hesitantly.

"What is it?" He asked.

"A lollipop. It's a sweet that you suck on until it's gone. The stick os so that you can take it out of your mouth when you need to without drooling all over yourself. Go on, try it. It's only a little dum dum." Haley offered. She had a whole, Costco sized bag of dum dums in her bag. She wasn't about to run out. As she still had half the previous bag in her back pack still.

"What's a dum dum?" Boromir asked, as he carefully unwrapped the sucker and licked it.

"That is. There are different kinds of lollies where I'm from. This one's called a Dum Dum." Haley replied, unwrapping hers and sticking it her mouth between her cheek and teeth so that her cheek bulged out a little. "Keeps the energy up. That one's cherry flavour."

"Right." Boromir said, then bravely stuck it in his mouth.

"Arsonist!!" Karen cried suddenly. Haley turned to see Corrie holding what appeared to be five, multicoloured lighters while the Hobbits looked on, confused.

"So not!" Corrie yelled. "You asked for one. Pick!"

"Ooh, purple!" Haley yelled, Corrie tossed it to her and she grinned, standing and slipping into into one of the pockets of her baggy, army green cargo pants. Karen rolled her eyes and chose blue, leaving the red, green and yellow ones to Corrie.