Alright, for whatever twisted reason, I just needed to write a semi-humor fic. I know perfectly well that my other fic has been on a long term hold, but I simply needed to get this out of my system or I'll never have peace again. And don't, I repeat don't, even ask why I chose der langrisser to get rid of my itch. Guess maybe I have been playing it a little too much lately. Well that's an idea; maybe I'll go play Breath of Fire a few more times to get more inspiration to get restarted on my other fic. Well enough blabbering. Better get started!

P.S. This is an AU fic, some characters may be seriously OOC, and pairings likely to be Elwin/Riana, Hein/Sherry (if they don't kill each other that is), possible Lester/Jessica/Bozel (heheh), maybe Leon/Rana (once I get a better grasp on her character that is), either Sonia/Scott (O.o) or Sonia/Keith (o.O), and likely Eggbert/Imelda (O.O). All right the pairings have officially declared me insane, and thus the games begin! *chuckles evilly*

P.P.S. I'm getting long winded aren't I? Evilly enough, I'll include most of the sub characters in the game. Think Laird/Camilla/Kramer. I could do worse couldn't I? *evil grin* It might be very interesting though….I wonder what would happen if I paired Lushiris and Chaos together… All characters yell: "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" ^^;;;; Btw, magic still exists in my twisted little universe ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own der langrisser, not now, not ever.

                             Kids…what can you do with them?

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" A horrified shriek rang out through the neighborhood. Heads popped out of windows, and everyone generally paused and looked up at the commotion occurring at the other end of the driveway.

"Hein you bloody bastard! Argh! SOMEONE PUT OUT THE FIRE ON MY HAIR!!!!" A 10 year old red head tried desperately patting out the flames on his flaming red hair [pun fully intended!] but to no avail. After all, magically created flames were much stronger than ordinary flames. Again, Elwin, the aforementioned red head, wished a thousand deaths to come unto his best friend slash enemy for experimenting spells on him.

A wave of cold suddenly washed over Elwin, and his red locks went from flaming hot to bitterly cold. Actually his hair sort of froze, literally, and little icicles had sprouted in random spots on his head, as the result of an Ice spell. There was only so few people who actually could control the Ice spell this well, and so…

"CAMILLA!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD KILL YOU OR KISS YOU!!!" A very irate Elwin yelled, his tone halfway between grumpy and amused. Laughter pealed out from behind him as the blond 13 year old came forward to check her handiwork. She looked closely at him in a slightly appraising manner, then shook her head. "You are much too young for me little boy," Camilla said in her most 'grown-up' tone, although a small grin crept onto her semi-serious face.

"Please, pray tell why I would fall for the ice princess. I have much better taste than that I believe," Elwin replied with his most aristocratic tone. It might have worked if had he been in a more dignified state, but judging from his current singed/frozen look, he didn't pull it off as well as usual. And seconds later, both kids were doubled over with laughter.

"That…that would have been better if you…you didn't look like…that" Camilla choked out between fits of laughter. "I know, believe me, I know," Elwin composed himself, then asked a bit sheepishly, "Eh, Cams? Can you de-ice me? I don't think I want to wait several hours just for all this to melt…" Camilla, who was on the verge of her usual calm self, suddenly collapsed in helpless laughter again. "Sorry kid, but you'll have to wait," Camilla chuckled with a slightly malicious glint in her eye. Elwin groaned. This would be harder than he thought…

Actually it didn't take all that long for our resident flame head to defreeze, courtesy of a trip into a water trough. And by 'trip', well, let's just say he went in head first due to a slight miscalculation while walking. And so, Elwin reached home that day cold, shivery, and dripping wet with his still singed red locks plastered to his handsome face.

"I swear that the gods are against me today…and Hein is going to be so dead when he comes back…" Elwin half muttered to himself as he went in search of a towel and dry clothes.

Outside the window, Hein crouched in the low bushes, and hearing his best friend's pronouncement didn't make him any less uneasy about facing him later. "What now?" He hissed to his other partner in crime, who was crouched next to him, his blond hair hiding most of his face. "Well, you gotta face him sooner or later, and it's not like he will really kill you or maim you or anything. More likely he'll break your nose, or give you a mother load of bruises, but you should come out alive. Hopefully in three pieces or less," Leon smirked as Hein grew increasingly pale with each word. "He wouldn't really do that, would he?" Hein stammered, his olive complexion having already turned sheet white. "Oh I wouldn't know for sure, Elwin's usually a nice guy, but sometimes when he gets angry…well you know what happens…" Both boys give a collective shudder at the remembrance of Elwin's vengeance on Laird for certain…transgressions.

Suddenly the two boys were rudely interrupted from their thoughts by an unexpected downpour from above. "What???!!!" They spluttered and leapt to their feet, rustling the bushes in their haste. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? A renegade warlock and an errant knight. What a pleasant surprise," Elwin's coldly amused and sarcastic voice found its way into Hein's and Leon's consciousness. They froze, then turned slowly to see a viciously grinning Elwin holding a once filled basin. Elwin clucked his tongue, and as if preempting their next possible movements, he reached down and took out several water bombs. "Sorry lads. Forgot to warn you about this earlier," Elwin grinned viciously again, then launched a barrage of the water filled sacks at the unfortunate Leon and Hein. "Hey no fair!" Both boys protested as they avidly tried dodging the 'missiles' aimed their way, and fervently praying that the red haired devil would run out of ammunition before long.

It took a while, but Elwin finally DID run out of his water balloons. That was when the tide of battle changed, with Hein blasting back harmless little flame balls trying to singe Elwin, who had escaped from the safety of the house just so to avoid letting Hein set fire to the whole place. Leon simply waited quietly, and whenever Elwin came within range of his foot he would unobtrusively stick it out and send Elwin tumbling with Hein's fireballs snapping at his heels.

It was a pleasant way to spend the rest of the day, with the 3 kids occasionally 'changing sides' or ganging up on one unfortunate member, playing their own version of 'extreme tag'. At the end of the day of course, they were all still the best of friends, that is, until the next prank gave them the perfect opportunity to pick mock fights with each other.

And so this was a typical episode from the young friends. What will happen when they mature into teenagers? Well, we will just have to wait and see….

Hahaha! How's this? Stupid gags! Idiotic tricks! Plotless story! Blah. Whatever. Actually I was writing this for fun. And it's great fun, I'll tell you. Wonderful to torment the characters…

Elwin: Yeah, yeah. You sick little fiend. -_-

Me: Awww……be nice kids… ^_^

Elwin: I can't believe you let Hein set fire to my hair. -_-;;;

Hein: ^__________^

Me: Yes, I know. Hein's one of my favorite characters…so…

Hein: O.o I think I'll pass from that position…me as your favorite character…yuck

Me: HEY!

Leon: Calm down everyone! Why don't we just thank the author for not putting us through worse situations?

Me: At least Leon's polite…just for that I'll let you pick any girl you like ^_^

Leon: ^______^

Elwin & Hein: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Me: Heheh. Read and review people! Flames gladly accepted!