Title: Inebriated Series: Heinekin

Author: Barenaked Bostonian

Rating: R, dirty, dirty language!

Disclaimer: Um, if they were mine and I could get them to do this... oh the

possibilities :::rubs hands together mischievously:::

Archive: I would be honored, but drop me a line first!

Category: MSR

Feedback: Free drink on the house if you send me some! [email protected]!

Summary: The first in the series, Mulder and Scully go out for some post-case drinks, primarily beer.

Thanks: To Lesley, for telling me NOT to write smut, as if! And to Michelle, who basically forced me to let her beta, and is a very biiiiig help whenever I need it!



It had happened on a whim, a mere hint of a celebration, and now Agents Mulder and Scully found themselves sitting on separate stools at Casey's Bar in downtown D.C.

It was only him who had noticed that Scully had been acting quite odd lately. Not the sort of odd that makes everyone turn their heads and go 'What the hell?', but the odd that only a lover or close friend would recognize. He was classified as the second.

For one reason, he actions lately had seemed less determined and precise. Certain things she did with less edge and conviction. The paperwork just happened to be one of them. Her handwriting, it had become more flowy, as if she had something on her mind and longed to write it down.

But, these were not thoughts to be having on a post case celebration at a well endowed bar. Oh no. His thoughts should not be ones of care and precision, but ones on how absolutely delicious Scully looked tonight. And

she did look amazing.

Her hair was framing her face, in the way that he loved. The way that screamed 'I'm relaxed and I'm feeling good', and he was mesmerized by it. It was curled softly at her chin and she had to keep pushing it away from her face to keep it from getting into her beer.

Her beer, another reason why she looked so different, so desirable. She was

pulling at her beer like a man would, taking long, slow gulps, coming up for air and then going down again.

Two empty mugs were set empty on the bar before her. Two like mugs sat in front of Mulder as well, but he hardly noticed when the bar tender came to remove them.

The two agents had been making conversation all night, not that they found it at all difficult, but it was different that they were talking about something other than work, other than mutants and the unknown.

Mulder had made a crack that his love life was virtually unknown and Scully

had laughed, a full Scully-Laugh. And he just sat and watched the way her face formed around it, the way her breasts bounced and the way her fingers curled around her mug. Her fingernails tapped the glass unexpectedly and she looked down at them.

She took another pull at the beer and asked Mulder why he wasn't drinking his.

"Oh, yeah. Nothing." And he took a pull at his own. He couldn't remember when he had found drinking fun. Well, yes, in his college days, but only sparsely. But if this way what he got when he drank, a comfortable, relaxed, glowing Scully, then he would gladly become an alcoholic.

She smiled warmly at him.

"Was this what you brought me here for Mulder?" She asked, rather loudly now that the jukebox was spilling out a song.

'Annie are you okay, are you okay Annie?...'

"What?" He asked her, smiling back at her. "To get me drunk?" She asked him. "You're not drunk Scully." He patted her on the shoulder and chuckled. "Damn straight." "Scully, if I know you, you can hold your alcohol as good as the best of 'em." "Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don't think so." "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked her, taking a sip from her mug now

that his was empty.

"Well, I know I can kick some hard core male ass, and I can *run and jump* as high as the rest of 'em, but the simple medical fact remains that for my

height and build, I can't hold shit." "Obviously my dear Scully, because you just used a four letter word in front of me, a big Scully no-no." "Oh, yes, I forgot, doesn't alcohol play with your mind and put you in an inebriated state as to make you say things you would not indeed say under normal circumstances?" Scully queried, raising and eyebrow and causing Mulder's cock to jump to attention in his pants. The eyebrow always did it.

"I believe that is so Doctor Scully, yes." He was laughing now, watching her smug expression as she said the next words. "Well then... fuck, fuck, shit, cock, etcetera, etcetera." "Scully, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Mulder," She got a somewhat sad expression on her face, but it quickly turned to sly. "I kiss no one with this mouth." "Aw, Scully, why?" He was teasing her now, or at least he thought he was. "Mulder, I don't kiss and tell." She drained the last of her beer and motioned for another one. Luckily the bar tender did not know the Scully Signs of drunkenness and conceded to place a new mug on the bar in front of


She looked at it for a moment, and then buried herself in it, draining it half way.

"I never was a drinker Mulder." She was stating the obvious. "I know." His hand was on his glass, but he was making no move to bring it to his lips. "I don't know why I am now, maybe it's the assurance that you're here in case I puke." She stared directly at him. "Well, gee Scully, you make it sound so lovely." He took another long sip of his drink. "Seriously, I don't think that I'd be able to trust myself to get drunk in front of anyone else, and I'm not drunk, I'm just... on my way."

He didn't reply.

Scully went to pick up her glass, spilling a little of the beer on her pants. It hit right near the crotch area, and Mulder had to look.

"Shit!" She exclaimed, grabbing a cocktail napkin off of the bar and wiping

at her pants. "Once again Scully, do you kiss your mother with that potty mouth?"

Her actions froze as she contemplated something. She put the napkin and the

mug down on the bar. She stared at her pants a moment longer and then met his eyes.

"Do you have objections to my so called 'dirty mouth'? The way you were just looking at it, I would have to bet not." "Well, speaking in the sense that you are teaching me all the dirty words, then, yes, Scully." He knew what she was saying, and in his state, he knew she was giving him the opportunity. He just wanted to make sure that she wanted this as much as he did.

"You know what I mean Mulder." She swayed a bit, but her head was as clear as it always was. As clear as when she was profiling a serial killer. And her mind was focused on him now.

She leaned into him a bit and stopped when her lips were close to her ear. "Let's stop fucking around Mulder. None of this sappy romantic crap. I do love you. I want you and oh God I want to know what you feel like in me. I want to know what you taste like, and if not for a little boost from Mr. Heineken tonight, I never would have told you." Her breath was hot on his ear as she spoke to him and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand


"Uhhh, Scully. You should drink more often."

And then his lips closed over hers in a gentle, but insistent kiss. It was

sweet as their lips slid over each other. And then his tongue pushed at her lips and she opened them to him.

His tongue explored her mouth, and realizing that he had all the time in the world to learn it, he slowed down and began kissing her with passion. With the love that he felt for her. He was sure she felt it, as sure as the slight moan that escaped from her throat as her tongue slid upon his in a hungry dance.

She broke away from him, resting her forehead on his.

"God Scully, I know you said you don't want romantic stuff, but, you are my

soul mate, you know that? Right?" He was breathing hard and broke away to take a quick sip of beer. He put his head back.

"As much as I will allow myself to believe Mulder. If I have to believe, I believe in that." She downed the rest of her beer.

He pulled away and kissed her forehead.

"We're in public." He stated. "I know." "We just kissed." 'I know that too." She replied. "Skinner just saw everything."

She whirled around in the chair but turned back at Mulder's chuckling. What a lame attempt to frighten her. She knew that she surely would not have fallen for something that easy if she hadn't been. several sheets to a very strong wind.

"I got you that time." He tried to say. "Yep... you did." And she kissed him hard.

END! But oh there is so much more to come!

---Crappy ass, lame ending. I know, sappy and just sucked but eh.