Once again I do apologise. But I never realised how much fun writing badly could be. This is meant to be the Doctor Who equivalent of 'a dark and stormy night'.

Oh the cruel ironies of the seven galaxies of Forgesterea Prime. Of all the badly lit caves in all the multi trans-dimensional universes inhabited by hyper intelligent shades of the colour blue, why did he have to walk into this one?

"Sharez, You know - you wear that leather face mask so well. Forget Peri. Yes she has great breasts, but she's got the brain of a particularly uninspiring and malformed turnip. I can show you things to do with celery that you have never dreamt of in your wildest imaginings," he said as he threw back his mane of manufactured golden tips and laughed as if to the gods of some small, but exotic world with wild purple seas where being a god involved carrying a really big hammer and wearing a hat with horns on it all the time, even when having tea with your mother in law.

Orrible or wot?