Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved goes to JK Rowling and the publishers of Harry Potter books. I only have the rights to the plot of this story. Heck, even the songs I'm gonna be using aren't mine either. So don't sue me!
Summary: A past relationship rekindled, but is it a lasting one or will it be just a passing fancy?
PhoenixRae's Notes: I am sorry for the delayed update. I've been busy and...well, after the previous chapter, I can't find another "good" song to get me in the mood. But now, hopefully, I found the song to best express the feelings in this chapter...
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III. Why Can't I?
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful
Here we are, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but heads spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
I'd love for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
I'd love for you to pull me under
for this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'
-- Liz Phair, "Why Can't I?"
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Draco took a long, savouring sip of his cup of hot cocoa he asked one of the house elves to bring him. He stood facing the stone fireplace in his private quarters, contemplating on the events leading up to him spending New Year's Eve alone in this old, dreary castle with nothing but a few students and teachers lingering around to share this holiday season with. He thought this year he won't be spending new year's alone. Even when he was back at the Manor he shared with Pansy he still felt alone. He has done quite enough of that from years before and he has had it with being alone. He thought Ginny would stay behind and spend the holiday with him.
But she chose to go home to her family instead.
Not that he blamed her, of course. It would be odd if Ginny didn't return home for the holidays. He knew how close-knit of a family the Weasleys are. None of the large member of Ginny's clan would miss getting together for Christmas unless they were stuck at work or elsewhere and getting away from the rest would be an impossible task.
He bid her farewell before she left with the rest of the students returning to their families for the holiday. She just spent the evening with him, making love and talking about nothing. Since that night she asked him that question about their relationship, Ginny asked less personal stuff and talked more about general stuff. Their main topic most of the time were the students they saw daily. She'd share with him one student's dilemma for going to the infirmary and he...well, he'd pretty much tell her nothing exciting that happened regarding his students.
He wanted to talk to her about his marriage. He wanted to come out and tell her that no, he wasn't a free man, but he had never found happiness in his wife's arms like what he did when he was with Ginny.
No. Draco shook his mop of silver grey hair and turned his back on the dancing embers. He'd be asking for a smack in the face if he told her that. Leaving Ginny in the dark about his marital status was the best course of action--for now. He kept on telling himself he'd let Ginny in on what was her point in his life, but not yet. He wanted to feel once again. He wanted to have a year with her once more. He had loved only one woman since his years at Hogwarts, and up to his dying day he knew she was the only one who could ever fulfill him.
He fell in love with Ginny Weasley long before that first night that he sought her out after she left the library late. Secretly he started to feel something for the youngest Weasley offspring that he never thought he'd feel for anyone. He watched her play Quidditch. He watched her interact with her friends. Heck, he even watched her flirt with other guys. He watched her grow up and turn into the fine young woman that she was during his seventh year at Hogwarts. She was an excellent student as well, and that impressed him. An excellent student. A good Quidditch player. A fantastic friend. A sweet, innocent tease. She got to him. She piqued his curiosity and thus making him watch her more and more, but from afar of course. He didn't know how to approach her, until chance presented itself to him that night during his patrol.
He didn't mean to jump into bed with her right away. But she was a passionate little thing and he was too selfish to share her with anyone else. If there was any guy who'd deflower his sweet, innocent Ginny, it would have to be him. And deflower her he did. Draco didn't know whether to shout for joy or growl in frustration when he learned that Ginny hadn't been intimate with anyone--not even those dufus she often flirted with. He was just glad that she wasn't spoiled by those losers who wouldn't know how to satisfy a woman as delicate as his Ginny.
His Ginny. No two words ever sounded so sweet when put together.
A year. That was all he wanted. A year with Ginny Weasley before he completely let her out of his life. By next year he'd be transferring to a different school. He wouldn't want to torment himself by seeing her daily during mealtime and not be able to touch her.
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"Aunt Ginny, what's wrong?" asked one of her twin brothers' daughter, Ainslie.
Ginny looked down at the petite redhead and smiled. She was standing by the window inside the Burrow's living room staring outside at the falling snow. Since she arrived back at the Burrow she'd done nothing but look outside longingly, her mind racing with thoughts. Wondering how Draco was and if he was missing her terribly.
Of course he doesn't, you fool! scolded that tiny voice inside her head. You're not but just a quickie lay to him. He'll miss the sex but not the woman giving him sex.
Ginny winced at this thought. She didn't want to be just a fuck buddy to Draco Malfoy. Not now. Not when she was at the stage when having someone become a part of her life constantly looked quite inviting. And even before, when she was still in school, she didn't want to be with anyone else but the one boy--man now--she knew she'd have a hard time winning over.
But she did win him over. She and Draco became lovers back in school before she even realized what just happened. She was out late one night during her sixth year at Hogwarts. She did some last-minute cramming session inside the library and didn't notice the time until Madam Pince told her she was closing up. She hastily returned back to Gryffindor tower, only to ran headlong into Draco Malfoy's arms.
She thought she'd be in trouble from the school Head Boy, but Draco surprised her when, without warning, he grasped her by the arms and claimed her mouth in a kiss that was a mixture of raw brutality and sweet sensuality. She was frozen on the spot. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't a prude who hasn't kissed any guy yet. But this was Draco Malfoy she was locking lips with! In as much as she enjoyed feeling his mouth--and his tongue too!--against her lips and soon inside her mouth, Ginny knew it was wrong to enjoy something as sweet as the kiss he was giving her.
She braced her hands on his chest, intending to push him away and break the kiss. But Draco must've read her mind and he softened his kiss, making Ginny's hands curl around the lapel of his robes and pull him closer. That slight indication that she wasn't opposed to his kisses was enough for Draco to push her up hard against the cold, stone castle wall and continued to kiss her senseless. He wedged his leg between her thighs and made her straddle him. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them against the wall over her head.
Ginny thought she'd go insane with the way he was rubbing his thigh between her legs! She have heard of orgasm before, of course, but never in her life had she experienced one--nor came close to having one until now!
Her pants were stilted. She was close to the edge and clenching her thighs harder against Draco's.
"Not yet, sweetheart, not yet," Draco whispered hoarsely, his mouth traveling south to trail kisses down her throat, moving right at the base of it before continuing on its southward voyage. He stopped at the opening of her robe, noticing that the top buttons of her uniform were undone (she opened them while she was studying in the library because she felt constricted with it buttoned up so high). He caught her wrists in one hand and let the other unbutton a few more buttons of her blouse, revealing her pastel coloured bra underneath. He pulled down one cup and stared at the pointy pebbles inviting him to suckle on. He slowed down rubbing his thigh between her legs and captured one tight bud on his mouth.
Ginny bit her bottom lip to stop herself from screaming. This was insane. She was insane. Draco Malfoy was her enemy. He did nothing but torment the living hell out of her. And he was still doing the same thing to her, only...only this time he brought her to mind-numbing arousal and she needed her release soon or she'd loose her mind!
Draco released her wrists and let his hand drop to her waist. He reluctantly pulled away from suckling her breast and met her gaze. He was as aroused as she was. She could see it in his eyes; it reflected her own arousal.
"Come with me to my room tonight, Ginny," he invited. And those eight little words were her undoing. She forgot about returning back to Gryffindor tower that night. Instead she allowed Draco Malfoy to unleash the woman inside her. From that night on, until she found out that spending forever after with Draco Malfoy was impossible, she became his lover. They became lovers who never once uttered their true feelings to each other. Deep down inside Ginny knew she fell in love with the Draco Malfoy she met with every night for their trysts, but after she overheard Pansy that day on the train...
Ginny closed her eyes and blocked out the memories that was triggered suddenly. When she opened her brown eyes once again she focused it on her niece who was staring at her with a frown.
"Are you okay, Aunt Ginny?" Ainslie asked again.
"Yes, sweetie," Ginny nodded. "I'm okay. I'm just...I'm just thinking, that's all," she explained.
"You're always thinking, Aunt Ginny. And you always look sad," the little girl pointed out.
"I'm not sad," she denied and put on her best fake smile for her niece's sake. "See? I'm smiling."
Ainslie cocked her head to the side. She wasn't fooled. Her aunt was lying to her. But she didn't want to prod her anymore so she left her alone.
Ginny kept the fake smile plastered on her face until her niece left her alone once more. Turning back to gaze out the window, Ginny sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. It wouldn't be too long before she was back in his arms again. She missed him terribly this past few days that she can't wait until she returned back to Hogwarts at the start of the new semester.
Ginny was a realist. She knew what she had with Draco right now wasn't a lasting one. And yet...the naive girl in her still kept on hoping for something more than what she had right now...
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A/N: I am so, so, sooooo sorry for not updating sooner! For those of you who reviewed the last couple of chapters, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! Your comments were really appreciated by yours truly. And hope you all like this next chapter here. I'm not sure when the fourth chapter's coming out, but let's hope it comes out before the end of December. *lol*