Undeserving - by oremis (previously by the penname "draekon", same person though)


An AUTHOR'S NOTE to readers who have read the original "Undeserving" and are wondering what happened to it:

This story is a reposting of a previous one that was erased. I just logged on to post the new chapter a while ago, and poof, my fic was gone. No notice, no warning, not even so much as an explanation why.

Anyways PLEASE LET ME KNOW if you want me to continue posting "Undeserving" all over again. The problem is, if I do repost, I'll have to edit and rewrite a lot of it because I don't have all the chapters saved on my home PC. On the downside, this may take some time, but as a plus, I suppose redoing it could be a blessing since a lot of people said they were confused. I went ahead and rewrote chapters 1 and 2 in this chapter (or actually merged them together), adding in more jokes, imagery and clarifying stuff I forgot explain. I should get caught back up to where I left off fairly quickly. Let me know what you think. If no one's really interested, I'll move on to my next fic, I guess.

IN THE MEANTIME check out my new fic, "The Adventures of Yoko and Nene" and let me know what you think. Is that worth continuing?


Chapter 1


Earth, North Asian Pacific, Ezo Island (formerly known as Hokkaido).

October 05, 3076. 1:30 AM

"Myu-chan! Doshtan da? Mada kaera hen?" ((Myu! What's up? Aren't you going home?))

Big sigh, and sigh again. The Konryu University Astrophysics lab is a mammoth cavern and an all-night chore to tidy up; nearly twice the length and width of a professional basket ball auditorium, and cluttered. Taquitos, is it cluttered! You'd think that a doctorate in Astrophysics would at least include a course on how to put away the equipment after you've finished using it. Sloppy bunch of dorks, these Astrophysics-types are. Especially Professor Kudo here. He's got one of those mad-scientist frizzle do's with brown-black hair sticking up everywhere, and a dirty white lab coat with a big red-and-yellow "K" on the back that he cleverly drew into a Superman emblem. He might have well drawn a big "G" for geek.

"Kon'ya, zangyou shiro tte iwareta n desu kara." ((I can't. I was told to work overtime tonight.)), I tell him.

"Hidoi na." ((That's terrible, isn't it?)) says Professor Kudo with a casual, lopsided shrug before he switches off his trashy-looking invention-- fiber optic wires and transistors poking out everywhere much like his hair-- and heads out the nearest exit. "O-saki ni!" ((catch ya later!)).

"Ano kuso-ttare..." ((That butt-wipe....)) I grumble, making sure I said it *after* the doors had shut behind him this time. What a skank! I spit out my glowing, multi-flavored gobstopper into the nuclear-waste disposal bin, and then go about waking up the cleaning robots.

By the way, the name's Kaneko Myu, 158 years of age, type-three human entity (human genetic coding was perfected and enhanced to a quadruple-helix format in 2714), 5% cyborg, and only daughter of Kaneko Jin (my dad). And if my life could be summed up in one word, I'd say it would be "boring"... and "lonely"... well, two words then. Now that my mom is happily remarried and can't be bothered with me, I live in the northern sector of Ezo with just dad, who immerses himself in his work 24-7 as chairman of the Astrophysics Department of Konryu Butsuri-Daigaku (Golden Dragon University of Physics). Since I work at night, and dad works in the day, we don't see each other that much, which is fine by me.

While dad's off compiling data on the cosmic microwave background in hopes of reconstructing events at the beginning of time, I'm shepherding cleaning robots and tidying up after people who make 17 times my income. Dad doesn't like this at all. He's always had this grandiose vision of me being his able-minded sidekick in his very important "mission of cosmic discovery", but I just wasn't good enough to make him proud (and to be brutally honest, I wasn't good enough to even graduate from Konryu and dropped out 113 years ago). Dad just can't get it into his skull that I'm not smart like him. So he'd be waving my D+ test-paper around like a dirty sock yelling, "How could you get this wrong? Even a primitive simian with less than a million neurons in mental-capacity could calculate the sun's luminosity if L = 4(pi)r^2 (sigma)T^4!" Yeah, whatev, dad. Who needs to know the sun's luminosity anyways? I like art and music, and books,-- I just adore Yojinbo samurai tales, I've even written a couple-- but dad tends to think that if it doesn't have to do with the creation or fate of the universe or drastic changes in major cosmic entities it's not particularly important. Besides, I don't think I'm very good at writing because I didn't get a lot of feedback when I got the nerve to post my "Kitsune Yojinbo" on the net. I don't think I'm good at anything really, except cleaning, and I really hate cleaning. Stupid janitor shifts...


Middle-Earth, West of the Misty Mountains, Outskirts of Imladris Proper.

July 05, 2948, Third Age. 1:30 PM.

"No! You are jerking it too fast! You are going to scare them away!"

Elladan reached over and nabbed the home-made fishing pole from Estel. "I shall teach you how to properly attract fish one more time, Estel, and I expect you to attend to me." The elf began to demonstrate again, "Watch... If you hold the twine and perform a curt twitching motion like so, the fish will mistake the bait for something alive and chase after it. And then if you..."

The seventeen-year-old nodded dully, shifting his eyes to where the lure made a disk of ripples in the small lake just outside Rivendell. Elladan usually referred to this lake as a fishpond, as it was too small to be on most maps, but Estel liked to think of it as a lake since he had once nearly drown trying to swim across it. This pleasant spot sat in a cool recess at the edge of the Valley where ghostly mists slumbered over the still, clear-water sheen in the morning and where pine scented the air heavily after a rain. Homely, yet elegant ivy-strewn cottages of elves hid but a little deeper into the forest behind them. A pleasant breeze was blowing, slicing through the summer heat and tugging at the short brown locks of the young man's hair. Estel rubbed his chin with lazy fingers, feeling the first prickles of a beard growing in.

"Fishing will prove quite a handy skill should you one day fail to track any game, Estel," the elf said jogging him in the ribs, "You are nearly old enough to join the Dunedain and I would rather my little brother not starve to death in the wilds because he does not know how to properly lure in fish."

The youth grumbled nonsense, staring at his reflection in the lapping water below. He dangled his leather-shod feet over the ridge of the boulder where the elf sat beside him cross-legged and prim. Suddenly he noticed the raven-haired head of Elladan's twin peeking up into the reflection. When Estel saw the mischievous grin on Elrohir's face and the upturned bucket of water poised high over his head, he flattened his smile and turned to Elladan to distract him, more than delighted to contribute to the incoming prank. "Show me how to tug the line just once more, brother Elladan. I do not think I quite have it yet."


1:32AM. Show time. After buying myself some cheap phenylalanine-loaded beverage out of the vending machine, I fling open the doors of the main janitor's closet. "Youshi! Dero! Samazama!" ((Alright! Out! All of you!)), I point at the ceiling-duster robot who just turns and looks at me, "Ee, temae mo!" ((Yes, you too!))

It gives an exasperated beep, and then lumbers out, knowing good and well that the other robots aren't supposed to go until last. (Usually the ceiling/air-duct sweeper is supposed to go before all the others to keep the floors from getting dirty again, or so they tell me). But I don't have time to wait for that old can to mosey about. I'm going home early to get some sleep and that's that.

I yawn and start out my routine, as always, replacing nuclear batteries and doing system shutdowns... And there goes my mind drifting off somewhere...

According to my high-school world history class (which I got a B+ in, incidentally), humans used to be the most physically pathetic creatures on earth, short of single-celled organisms. About 550 years ago, in the 2520's, people took a good look at all the nifty machines they made, and wondered why they needed to depend on these machines instead of their own physical bodies. So, instead of improving on their machines, people started improving on themselves through a marriage of biotechnology and cybernetics, coming up with a second type of human model, then a third type. (Most people now-a-days have type-three's, but there are still type-twos for people who cannot afford them) Before these improvements, I heard people used to have bones made out of brittle calcium instead of titanium alloy... and liquid blood instead of intercellular conduction plasma-- real nasty. They also had biochemical DNA instead of nanotech cell-nuclei, which often mutated into something called cancer and killed them. I can't imagine what it would be like knowing your body's gonna shut down in like 80 years or something (not that my life is worth keeping, but still!).

I guess nobody else appreciates that besides me. The only thing people really appreciate is that the exterior features of a type-three body can be altered as one likes. For girls, you could have the body of a supermodel, pop star, Barbie doll, porn diva... For guys; choose from pro quarterback, teen heart-throb, Mr. Universe, underwear model... whatever you want to look like, it's your choice. Me? I chose an east-Asian skin tone, light surfer-blonde hair (I customized some of it to purple now), this wicked green-highlight-blue-lowlight for my eyes, and a very well-shaped body that is supposed to work magic on eligible batchelors. But since this body hasn't succeeded in getting me a boyfriend yet (being a college-dropout and a full-time janitor just isn't appealing, I guess), I think I might consider myself a doomed celibate and change my model to a tall, athletic build sometime. But that idea's on hold until I get enough money... Stupid janitor shifts.


1:32 PM.

Unfortunately, Elrohir's bucket of water was sloshing just enough so Elladan's sensitive elf-ears detected it. A sly look crossed the latter's grey eyes as he leaned towards Estel to feign another demonstration. Just as the younger twin took that final footstep and set himself into stance, Elladan spun quick as a viper and rammed the butt of the fishing rod up into Elrohir's upraised bucket.

With a yelp of alarm, Elrond's youngest son let the bucket fly from his hands, dousing a good volume of water over the hidden spectator who was crouched snickering behind him. "Valar!" Legolas cried, blocking the wooden bucket with his forearms, and as much as he could of the water that came with it.

Elladan was not finished there. A look of pure horror swept over Elrohir's face as his brother rose like a furious Baelrog from the deep. The younger twin turned on heel and tried to flee, but Elladan easily sprung up, nabbed him by the collar and swung him around on his own momentum to send him flying into the lake. When Elrohir came crashing down, Estel nearly shed tears of laughter. It was a rare and treasured occasion to see the ancient elvenfolk, fairest and wisest of all Arda's creatures, roughhousing like younglings.

Elrohir was submerged a good moment before he broke the surface sputtering and coughing. He blinked the water from his grey eyes and saw his elder twin looming over him on the rocks, his arms folded tightly across his chest. "Elbereth knows both adar and I have admonished you, time and time again, to cease with these inane practical jokes!"

Elrohir swabbed away some of the dark hair plastered to his face. Laughter was bubbling up inside as he watched Elladan trying to keep on serious airs while Estel was rolling at his feet in hysterics. "You told me and I have! This time it was a dare. And I could not possibly turn down the will of an the Mirkwood king's son, could I?"

Elladan manced the said 'Mirkwood king's son' with a look of disdain as he, still a few paces behind, wrung out his blonde hair, now dampened to a walnut brown. "You act as though I coerced him..." protested Legolas, shrugging innocently.

"And moreover," Elrohir went on, gesturing toward Estel, "I would say our little brother enjoys my pranks, perhaps a little too much..."

A wicked grin tugged at Elrohir's lips as Estel's jeering face melted to a look of horror, "No! Not me!" the youth cried, trying to scramble away, but the elf had already lunged forward and nabbed him by the ankle. Elrohir managed to drag the thrashing, giggling human teenager into to water up to his waist before Estel managed to yank himself free at the loss of his right boot.

"Stop this, both of you," Elladan snapped, helping Estel back onto the boulder, "You are much too frisky this morning."

Elrohir smiled brightly, then dipped down for a mouthful of water and squirted it at his elder twin, which did not make it as far as he'd liked.

A smile cracked over Elladan's stony face. "Out. Now," he commanded gently, "Give Estel back his shoe."

Elrohir chuckled a little more and did as he was told, dribbling lake water like a wet shaggy dog. Once he had handed over Estel's boot, he began to strip off his drenched clothing and lay it out on a sun-warmed rock to dry. Legolas too shrugged off his own sodden tunic. Estel settled back down beside Elladan and shielded his eyes, knowing he would never get used to this sort of display. Unlike humans, elves felt not at all ashamed of their bodies.

Elrohir climbed up on a nearby ledge and cannon-balled into the lake. When he bobbed back to the surface he motioned for Estel to join him. "Come now, Estel. You aren't going to sit around in soggy breeches are you?"

The young man nodded, peeking out shyly between his fingers.

Legolas slipped into the lake water unobtrusively and swam out to join Elrohir, bobbing a few yards before Elladan and Estel's rock ledge. "The water is pleasant. It should not be too cold for him," the calm-natured wood-elf diagnosed.

Estel grinned awkwardly, then stood, "I'll just... go and change back at the house..." he said, then trotted off.

"What about your lessons?" Elladan shouted after him.

"I'll come right back," he called over his shoulder then disappeared around a bend of poplar trees.


1:36AM . I continue down the line, settling into a comfortable sequence of battery-empty-change, battery-full-skip, shutdown, shutdown, until I come at last to Professor Kudo's machine. It's not that I'm not used to people picking on me, but this Kudo-guy in particular really binds my cheese. Thoughts of revenge cross my mind as I stare at this innocent little machine of his that probably took him several weeks to build. I give a sly little grin and devilishly drum my fingers on the beverage bottle in my left hand. We both know I'm too soft to do anything. Still, I look closely at the control panel: "Jikan-Tsuro" ((Time Gateway)), it reads across the top in gold letters.

As if! That's a pretty good joke for Kudo! I shake my head and saunter off to the next battery port, laughing. A Time Machine? That's just a bunch of Sci-Fi rubbish that's been around since the start of the second millennium. And it's an even a bigger joke that someone like Kudo, a lower-ranking scrub who teaches 101 and doesn't even have his Ph.D., thinks he can build a Time Mach--

I'm right in the middle of that thought when I trip over the steam-vac robot and go plowing into Professor Charayar's prototype 11-dimentional supergravity simulator. My right hand grabs a hose, and the free fingers on my left hand hook onto a gauge over the control panel, and luckily, they hold my weight.

I look over my shoulder and glare at the vacuum murderously, "Chuui-seyo, sono baka!" ((Careful, you idiot!))

The little robot wheels around and zips off in terror, leaving a shiny clean streak behind it. As I am picking myself up, I hear tinkling. Yeah, I'm confused too. Not till a moment later do I realize that I'm holding the beverage bottle upset in my left hand, and it's dribbling all over the console. Taquitos, am I dumb. Well, that's 2 million years of simian evolution for you. I flip it back over and am about to go look for a towel or something when the crackling sound of a short circuit reminds me that Professor Charayar uses electricity-based CPUs.

Uh, I suppose this is a worthy moment for a few dirty oaths, that is, if I could talk. My heart feels like it just squeezed up into my throat. No. This would not be funny if I were to break a multi-million credit piece of equipment that is property of Konryu University. Especially when the department manager is my dad. I begin frantically punching buttons. The machine doesn't respond. I hit the emergency reset switch. Still nothing. Now that all else has failed, I began kicking and smacking the CPU until all the cleaning robots are having post-traumatic flashbacks.

1:45AM... "Ikenai..." ((I'm screwed...)) I stare dazed at the dead CPU console. Now what? I'm surely going to be fired, as well as convicted of vandalizing school property by the dozen or so security cameras looking my way to prove it (if not for spilling my drink, they can still get me for kicking it, which I really should not have done in retrospect).

Just then, as though captured under some strange, compelling force, my gaze slowly shifts to Professor Kudo's "Time Gateway". Oh, so you're building your little "Time Gateway", are you, smarty-pants? I swear I can see his face jeering at me in that blank monitor, taunting me just like last time when I broke the garbage 'bot. "Hey, Myu-chan. I heard what you did to the garbage doodad there, butterfingers. If you'd pay better attention and quit daydreaming..." This is just more fodder for his I'm-right-your-wrong hypothesis. I'd love to show him who's wrong with that BS invention of his.

Well, I'm gonna get fired as is, so I might as well check it out. I stride over to his contraption purposefully. I've gotta see if it works.


1:45 PM.

Elladan heaved a sigh as he sat on the lakeshore rock, waiting for Estel to return as Elrohir and Legolas swam languidly in the summer afternoon. Elladan rarely got to see Estel as often he would have liked, he thought. He and his brother were too often far from home, battling orc with the Dunedan in vengeance for their mother. Celebrian's suffering at the hands of orcs and her inevitable departure to the undying lands had shaken Elladan, even more so than his twin, and he had been plagued with fear all his long years thence; that those dear to him may one day be no more. Even the immortality of elves was void in the dangers of these times and it saddened him. It saddened him deeply to loose that sense of security that seemed so solid in his youth.

Legolas, on the other hand, seemed frivolous to the days as they passed, coddled in office work for his father while his older brother managed affairs on the field. Though this elf was, on rare occasion like this, sent on official errand to Rivendell and elsewhere with an escort, his perils were less than that of Elrond's sons. From what Elladan had observed, Legolas' attention was more than often turned to indulgence in fleeting romantic quests, fine wines, riches and the like. However his blood-relation to Thranduil (and ultimately the legendary elvenking Oropher) reserved him an unparalleled skill at the bow, even better than Elladan, which was indeed a bitter source of jealousy. But since Elladan himself (and most other elves for that matter) far overshadowed him in swordsmanship, he was mollified somewhat.

Elladan turned back to the lake to find Legolas floating on his back, lazily tracing the green patterns of the overhanging foliage with his eyes. "And to what do we owe the honor of this visit, O Mirkwood Prince?"

"Just some entertainment and a draft of Dorwinion perhaps..." Legolas sighed languidly, "I am here on errand, and must hasten to Lorien shortly, perhaps in the morn. Though I would very much fancy a night of singing and dancing in the Hall of Fire with the lovely ladies of the noble house, if that is not to much to ask... so long as I do not have to sit through Elrohir's tedious story-tellings..."

Elrohir popped up out of the water. "What say you of my story telling?!"

Elladan rolled his eyes, having anticipated the skirmish that soon broke out between his brother and his friend.


1:47AM On. Launching Operating System... User Login Inactivated (with Kudo, go figure)... Patching User Netscape v.27.4. Login complete... User Command? Now what are all these switches and dials supposed to do when he doesn't have them labeled? Hmmm.... a little flick here, a turn here might do something... Ooh! What's this shiny red button do?

"Nani shiterun, Kaneko-san?" ((What are you doing there, Ms. Kaneko?))

I whirl around, eyes wide as saucers. "Yanagi-san!" Yanagi is one of the security-guards. He is standing in the doorway, arms crossed tightly over his chest and looking as though he has a few important items of justice to administer. I improvise quickly, shifting my hand along the side of the control panel, slightly, imperceptibly, down into the gap. "Warui desu kedo, sukoshi tasukete kudasaimasen ka?" ((I'm sorry, but could you help me out a little here?)) I ask innocently, "Kikai no hokori wo nugutteru aida ni wa sode wo hikakechattan desu ga!" ((My sleeve got caught while I was dusting the machine!))

I am lucky that, despite all the advancements in this day and age, security guards seem to have been left behind in the Cro-Magnon stage of mental evolution. "Chotto misete, Kaneko-san." ((Show me where, Ms. Kaneko)) he offers earnestly, walking up. Then he notices something most people would have noticed earlier. "E? Dare ga tsukete shimattan? Gamen ni naze 'Soushi Itashimasu' ga kaite aru?" ((Huh? Who turned this on? Why does the monitor say 'Initializing'?))

He looks straight at me, searching for answers. I have to do something quick before the realization works its way through his puny brain and I get arrested. The first thing I notice is the hilt of the photic blade emitter (Koshito) at his belt. Acting fast, perhaps a little too fast, I seize the hilt and jerk the titanium-carbide base-blade up across his chest. "Sagare!" ((Back off!))

That was stupid. Why did I just do that? Great. Now I'm in trouble for armed assault. With a potentially dangerous weapon, too. (When activated, the blade will cut through anything, even though it doesn't glow or go 'vvmph' like in the movies --they emit concentrated X-ray, not visible light-- but when inactivated, it's still a fairly sharp dagger.) I guess I was trying to scare Yanagi, or at most to graze him and let him know I meant business. As a type-three, his accelerated healing factor would have erased any cuts instantly. But I still shouldn't have done that. Yanagi had staggered back from the blow and now just stands there dumbfounded, clutching his chest and staring at me with disbelief written all over his face. He stares at me so long that I begin to wonder how deep I cut him. Then he falls... in two pieces.

My first reaction is to scream, as is my second, and my third is to look down and notice that the blade was one of those newer models that activate automatically. Oh shhh-- Of all the stupid things you could do! I can't believe you just-- no, don't say it! I start to panic. Hide the body? No good, his heart monitor has probably already alerted the police. How am I supposed to explain this was an accident? A stupid, rash, accident? Prison sentence. Manslaughter. 50 years.

Aaack!!! I panic, spin around and run smack into the Time Gateway. Bad. Rubbing my poor nose, I notice something weird about the machine; that the portal-arch is acting funny; it's no longer empty... the view through it is blurred and distorted in some places by some strange force (don't expect me to know what it is... I failed Astrophysics, remember?). And the screen says... "Ready"...? Just "Ready"? Ready for what? This can't be serious. But then again, I wish it were. This would make a perfect getaway. But what would happen to me? Would I really end up in the past or future? Would I be turned inside out or vaporized into sub-atomic particles?

I hear police sirens.

You don't have anything to loose, you know. Who will miss you? So says my conscience, and I agree. I reach forward and stick an index finger into the blurred portal. It feels strange, like I'm being both torn apart and crushed together at the same time, but then again it doesn't hurt.

Commence Teleportation?

Footsteps running in the hall. Getting closer. Hurry! Choose! Choose, or it'll be too late!

I click on "Yes" and hop onto the platform. The gateway begins to glow. The voltage meters rockets. The droning is near deafening. I reached my arms out and stepped forward, blinded by the light...



Elrohir splashed Legolas, Legolas dunked Elrohir, and soon enough the two of them were locked a wrestling hold, batting water in each other's faces. Elladan threw down the fishing pole in defeat and stood up, "How can I give Estel a descent fishing lesson with the two of you splashing around like elflings and scaring away all the fish?"

Elrohir and Legolas carried on as if Elladan's scolding were nothing but a feeble gust of wind. They continued their bout of horseplay tirelessly until, like a bolt out of the blue, their ears picked up a distant someone yelling out, something that sounded like "Takeetos!", closing in fast. They turned just in time to see a good-sized object streak down into the lake faster than the eye could blink. Elladan threw himself to the ground as the impact burst up into a megaton shower of lakewater, which soon came crashing down all around him when gravity took its course. After the cascade had finished pounding him, leaving him nearly as drenched as his brother had been after he had flung him in the lake, the elf peeked up over the rock ledge, half-expecting to see the shoreline receded several inches. He tallied Legolas and Elrohir, shaken but unhurt, washed up on the sand to his far right.

After a long, lingering moment of silence and befuddlement, Elrohir sat up, turned to his elder brother and pointed out, "I think that just scared away all your fish."

Elladan stood muttering something unintelligible about divine retribution and wrung out his midnight hair. He now knew how Elrohir felt being drenched head to foot and he dare say he did not like it one bit. "Go and see what that was," he snapped at his twin.

"Why not you?"

"Because I would require time to disrobe."

Elrohir paused, then pointed at Legolas, "Why not him?"

"He is our guest."

"I will--" Legolas began, but Elrohir interrupted.

"Nonsense. I was merely jesting because I love that surly look Elladan gives; a mirror image of our adar, wouldn't you say?" said Elrohir, and before Elladan could defend himself, he launched himself back into the lake.

"What in the name of Iluvatar do you suppose that was," mused Legolas. He drew his bare knees up and rested his chin on them as he watched Elrohir's progress.

Elladan shrugged, his attention snagged on a fish flopping around on the nearby grass, probably hurled out with the impact. He walked over to collect it and deposit it in Elrohir's bucket. "Adar mentioned once about something called a 'meteor' that falls spontaneously out of the heavens," the elf dithered to scope around for more free fish he could bring back, then gave Legolas a look, "Even so, the two of you were fortunate that you were not further out when it struck."

Legolas slipped him a sidelong glance, then turned to witness Elrohir make his first dive, approximately where this 'meteor' hit. "Of what is a 'meteor' forged?"

"I doubt of gold or silver... since that appears to be you and your father's primary concern... Usually they embed themselves too deeply into the earth... to ever find," Elladan replied brokenly, as he was concentrating on searching for more displaced fish.

"Then what about that voice we heard? I could almost swear it sounded like it was coming from above us."

"Just an illusion I would say. People do not just fall out of the sky. Someone must have seen it coming and shouted a warning."

"By saying... 'takeetos'?"

Elladan slipped him an irritated glance.

Out in the center of the lake, Elrohir broke surface in a hurry. "Legolas! Elladan!" He called urgently over the distance, gasping for breath.

Legolas bolted to his feet and waded out to waist-deep water, his blue eyes hopeful, "What is it, Elrohir? What did you find?"

"Someone is down there, on the lake bed!"

################################## End Chapter 1

A/N: Amazing but True: If you type the date October 05, 3076 (Myu's time) in Microsoft Word 2000, the program will create a smart tag which gives you the following options when you click on it: Show My Calender, Schedule a Meeting, Remove this Smart Tag and Smart Tag Options. Feeling curious, I clicked on "Schedule a Meeting" and now Microsoft Outlook is set to remind me that I have a meeting scheduled for Thu 10/5/3067 from 8:00 AM to 8:30 AM, though no one has been invited yet. I don't think I will still be around to attend my meeting, but if people are still using Microsoft Office in the year 3076, I suppose I should be glad I will not.