Disclaimer: I do not one any of the characters/locations/blah…

This is the last part of a trilogy I have written. The first part is 'The Happiest Day of My Life'. The second is 'No More Wishing'. You really have to read those for it to make sense.

I Want To Make You Happy

I'm sorry I'm not him.

I know you'd rather it was him you were taking those ten steps to. But at the end of the road, it's me you'll end up with, Lyra.

I love you so much. I think I always have. When you arrived at Bolvangor, it was amazing. Roger kept saying you'd come. And I tried so hard to put the same amount of faith in you. But he knew you so much better then I did.

When you arrived back in Oxford, with John Faa and Farder Coram, you'd changed so much. Pantalaimon had settled.  My dæmon, my beloved companion had too. You looked so old and wise; I thought you might think of me as just a silly little boy, even though I was older than you.

But we started talking. Those talks amazed me. Your extraordinary adventures in other worlds, your near escapes, when you failed and succeeded. And all the way through, your face softened as you thought of him.


How can I ever compare to him? I can't, obviously. But I'll try.

Because I love you.

And, I think you might love me too. In some way.

I especially love you when you're reading the Alethiometer. Are you asking about Will? I might ask you one day.

But I might not. Perhaps you want to keep those memories buried.

But I'll make sure you go to the garden. You told me that you were scared in case Will didn't come, that he might forget. I have never met anyone who has forgotten you. No one could.

So this is how we'll be. Loving, cherishing, holding and kissing. Everything I ever wanted. But it's not everything you wanted.

I'll try.

Because I want to make you happy, no matter what it takes.

I want to make you happy.


I hope you liked it. Billy isn't a particularly developed character so I've had to do my best. I think that if Lyra can't be with Will, she should be with someone who she loves. And we know she loves the Gyptians, so Billy it is.

Lotsa luv