Title: "All In a Day's Work (1/1)"

Author: Jackie W.

Email: jackiesfic@aol.com

Author's Notes: I needed a break from angst and long fics that never end. That's my only excuse.

'When had traveling to other planets and meeting aliens turned into such a cliché?' Sam wondered. She looked around the banquet hall cautiously assessing both the area for any dangers, and their current situation to see if it could get any more ridiculous.

Earlier in the day the inhabitants of the planet had instantly fallen to their knees in front of SG1 shortly after they had appeared through the 'Circle of the Gods'. Daniel had explained that they were explorers, not Gods, and although the people of Calendor had nodded as if they understood. Sam was sure that they were just appeasing them. The next thing they knew they were being enthusiastically welcomed by the Calendorian ruler and a feast was being prepared in their honor.

Now several hours later, surrounded by adoring young women, Daniel was looking quite animated having taken several drinks from the ceremonial cup. The Colonel, Teal'c and Sam had each taken a sip to be polite and had stuck to water for the rest of the evening. Sam was just thinking that at least this time they were going to be spared the stereotypical scantily clad female making eyes at the Colonel as well as the besotted young alien who would insist on calling her Samantha, when Sovereign Marcus brought forth his two children, Simon and Lilliana, to meet the honored guests.

Sam automatically inched closer to the Colonel only to find that he had done the same and they were now sitting with their thighs touching.

"Oy," she heard her CO say under his breath.

But, hey, brother and sister, that was at least a new twist. Thank goodness Daniel had introduced her before to the Sovereign as Major Sam Carter. If she was lucky the dreaded full name would never be mentioned and the poor boy wouldn't have to die. The heir apparents seated themselves across the table from Sam and Jack and began flirting outrageously with them. At least with the two of them teaming up they were able to keep the conversation away from discussing themselves by trying to learn more about the Calendorian culture. Eventually though, Sam's luck changed, and Simon questioned her about her name.

"Here on Calendor, Sam is considered to be a man's name. Is it not so on your world?" he inquired.

"It is," Sam confessed. "My father wanted a boy."

"But surely once you were born he must have picked a more feminine name for you," Simon protested.

Sam was torn between lying outright and telling the truth. Finally she sighed. "He did, Sam is the shortened form of my full name, but it's what I use," she explained.

"What is your full name?" Simon continued, oblivious to the glare he was now receiving from the Major.

"Something much longer," the Colonel declared putting an end to the subject. The last thing he wanted was for another alien Romeo to start calling his Major 'Samantha'.

Thankfully Teal'c chose that moment to signal that it was time to get Daniel to bed before he collapsed. Sam and Jack made their excuses saying they were quite fatigued from traveling, and the four made their way back to their accommodations. They had considered setting up camp, but the Sovereign had insisted they accept his hospitality. A suite had been prepared for them in his palace, which resembled an odd combination of Mediterranean villa and Tudor castle complete with turrets. There were two bedrooms in their suite, one large enough to sleep all three of the men, one smaller room obviously meant for Sam. Jack however didn't think it would be prudent to have one member of the team so isolated, as each room had French doors that led to an outdoor courtyard. After a brief discussion Teal'c volunteered to sleep on the floor of Sam's room so that all four of them wouldn't have to bunk together. In the wee hours of the morning when two armed men made their way into the Major's room they were surprised and quickly overpowered by the Jaffa.

The noise of the struggle awoke not only Jack and Daniel, but also must have been heard outside of their suite because just as they got the intruders tied up several palace guards arrived. They were followed shortly by the Sovereign who apologized profusely. He ordered the two men be taken away but Jack stopped him.

"Hey! Where are you taking them?" he demanded.

"Do not worry, Colonel. They will be suitably punished," Marcus assured him.

"Yeah but I'd like to know who they're working for before they disappear," Jack insisted.

The Sovereign paused and then signaled his guards. Before they knew what was happening each member of SG1 was restrained.

"They work for me, Colonel. I was planning on just taking the Major and letting you leave unharmed, but I can see now that we are going to have to do this the hard way. Guards, lock up the gentlemen. The woman will come with me," he ordered.

This time it was Sam who uttered the 'Oy' under her breath. She shot a look at her teammates that told them to not start a fight they couldn't win. She was pretty sure that ol' Marcus had no clue what he was about to go up against anyway. Luckily, and predictably, Marcus thought she should be more suitably dressed before she was brought to him, and she was left in the care of two female servants who were promptly knocked out. She was sure that there was a guard outside the door, so she had to find another way out. This room didn't have a convenient French door, but there was a window, and although it was locked it only took Sam a minute to jimmy it and climb out.

She landed less than gracefully, as it was impossible to judge the distance to the ground in the dark. As she caught her breath she figured that was probably because she had landed on something. Or someone, she quickly realized, leaping off of the now prone figure and preparing to defend herself.

"Major, Sam. It is Simon," the body informed her as he got to his feet. "I came to rescue you."

Of course he did. She tried to remember if she'd ever started a family feud before. Oh, well. No sense looking a gift horse in the mouth, and she really could use some help finding out where her teammates were being held. Weapons would be nice too.

"Thanks, Simon. Do you know where our weapons would be?" she suggested.

"They were put into the armory. This way," Simon offered.

Ten minutes later she was arming herself. She put one P-90 over her shoulder but she really didn't want to kill these people, so she hooked two of the zats over the P-90 strap and with an additional zat in each hand she turned to Simon.

"Lead the way, quickly but quietly," she ordered.

She had expected a dungeon of some sort. Instead they headed up a narrow set of stairs.

"Simon where are we going?" she hissed.

"Your friends are being held in the tower room," he informed her.

Great she thought. They would have to come down this same narrow staircase to escape. At least maybe the Colonel would appreciate the novelty of not being in a cell below ground. Her attention was diverted from analyzing their escape route when Simon turned and whispered over his shoulder.

"Sam, you know after we free your friends you need not leave with them. You could stay here with me. My father would not dare to touch you once you are under my protection," he assured her.

It was a really sad fact that it was the best offer she'd had in a decade, but she needed to shut Simon up quickly.

"Simon, I'm already married," she blurted out. "You know, joined, mated, wed. I have a husband." Simon just looked at her blankly. "We have five children," she added for clarification. He opened his mouth to argue. "And a baby on the way," she threw in for good measure.

Simon nodded in defeat and the rest of the climb was made in silence. Well at least the two of them were silent. As they neared the tower prison they could hear the racket being made by someone protesting loudly.

"My father is the Sovereign! You will do as I say and let me see the prisoners!" the petulant voice demanded. Sam mentally added a daintily clad foot stomping in frustration. How convenient, a readymade diversion, she thought as she rushed up the last few steps. She pushed past Simon intent on taking advantage of the situation. A minute later the three guards lay unconscious on the floor. Simon and his sister Lilliana stared at her with wide eyes.

"You killed them!" he exclaimed in shock.

"They're just stunned," Sam assured him as she rolled one of the prone guards over to grab the keys.

She quickly opened the door and was glad to see that her teammates all seemed relatively unharmed. It would make for a much easier escape with them up and mobile.

"It's about time Carter," her CO joked, privately thinking that with this particular woman it was both typical and appropriate that she play the part of the rescuer rather than the damsel in distress.

"Sorry for the delay, Sir. The tower thing threw me off. I was expecting a dungeon," she confessed, proud to see his eyes glint in approval at her quip.

"Oh, but that would be a cliché, Major," he reminded her as she handed them each a zat. "Now let's get out of here."

They made it halfway back down the long stairway before they heard the sound of pounding footsteps. Jack looked around quickly assessing how defendable their position was. The stairway was too narrow to allow more than the first two people to have clear shots. He spotted a door that they had just passed and signaled to it with a raised brow.

"Storeroom," Simon whispered in reply to the unspoken question.

Jack signaled the team inside. A storeroom would allow them to spread out and get cover that would be much more suitable to taking down the guards. There was moonlight streaming in through a small window that allowed Jack to again signal the team to spread out and stay quiet. Teal'c and Daniel pulled the royal wannabes behind cover as well. As it turned out the guards went streaming past the room without even checking to see if it was locked. Jack shook his head at their incompetence. He opened the door cautiously, and after determining that the coast was clear, he waved out the rest of the group, and they silently made their way down the remainder of the stairs.

With Simon pointing out guard positions they were able to easily make their way back to the gate. As Daniel dialed out, Simon kissed Sam's hand in farewell. The Colonel, she noticed with amusement was having a little more trouble untangling himself from Lilliana.

"Stay here with me," she begged with a pretty pout.

Jack looked momentarily panicked but then inspiration struck. "I'm a married man," he told her.

Obviously used to getting her way, the young royal teared up and clung to his arm. Sam had a sudden premonition of impending doom.

"Lilliana, you are a beautiful woman, but I have a family waiting for me at home. A wife and five children," Jack protested.

Sam saw Simon's head swing back and forth between her and the Colonel but wasn't fast enough to head off the train wreck.

"And another baby on the way I understand. Congratulations to you both," Simon stated removing his sister from Jack's arm and giving Jack and Sam a small smile.

Now it was her three teammate's heads that swung in Sam's direction. Did she say her life was cliché? It had just turned into an Elizabethan farce. There was only one thing to do.

"Surprise dear!" she exclaimed claiming the Colonel's now free arm and dragging him towards the gate.

Once there she shoved a shocked Daniel through the wormhole. Teal'c got the message and followed without saying a word. She turned to a bemused Colonel and shook her head.

"Don't even think about it. I'm stopping at two kids," she told him before she dropped his arm and stepped through herself.

Jack paused only a moment before following her. Just long enough for what she'd said to sink in, causing him to arrive at the SGC with a huge grin on his face.

"Colonel! You're team is back early. Did you run into problems?" General Hammond inquired as he entered in gate room glad to see everyone seemed to be in one piece.

"Just the usual, Sir. Daniel made friends, Carter had royalty falling all over her. She was kidnapped, escaped, then had to rescue the rest of us. Pretty standard mission," the Colonel quipped.

Hammond turned to the Major in concern but was surprised to see her smiling brightly.

"You weren't harmed were you Major?" he verified.

"No, Sir," she confirmed

"Well I can't wait for the briefing. It will be at 15:00. Report to the showers and the infirmary. And nice job Major," he declared.

"All in a day's work, Sir," she assured him, then claimed dibs on the first shower.

Daniel and Teal'c scurried after her to try to get the story behind that last conversation on Calendor, therefore none of them saw O'Neill pause and turn back to the General with a gleam in his eyes.

"Sir, I think you and I need to have a chat," he informed his CO who nodded his agreement and told Jack to stop by after the briefing.

"Can we make it before the briefing, Sir? I need to get out of here on time tonight," Jack asked and was glad when Hammond told him to report as soon as Fraiser had cleared him.

"After all," Jack thought as he strolled down the corridor towards the elevator with a grin, "I have to get home to my family. The wife and 5.5 kids won't wait forever."

The end.