I am *so* not gay. Nope. No way. I can say that with sure confidence. I know because how many girls I've gone after. Amy, Tasha, Megan, Lucy, Cordelia, Tina, Larry, Terra...

Wait, Larry? No way. Never. I do *so* not want Larry. He is a guy, and I'm a guy and that is WRONG. Unnatural. Bad. Don't you dare say I'm gay. I do *not* like other guys. No way in hell. If the other guys even thought I was...

I'm not even gonna say it. As long as I don't say it, it's not true. Right? What the hell does that look mean? What do you know? I like to look at girls with other guys. Sure, sometimes, it gets boring sometimes, but so what? It doesn't mean I'm gay. Because I'm not.

Never have been and never will be.