Jewel: Hello!! Hello to you all!!! Welcome to the most random story on the net!!

LaShana: Oh dear..what are you gonna title this one? 'Out of the Dungeon and Into the Lake'?

Jewel: I was thinking something more along the lines of 'Fake Nails and Stiletto Heels'..

Rabid Lawyer 1: How about 'Trains and Trailrides'?

Jewel: Ooh! I like that one! And it's true!

Rabid Lawyer 2: Or 'Stairs and Surprises'?

Jewel: Hehehehe, though embarrassing, that's good too.

Rabid Lawyer 3 ½: Or '17 Pages of a Word Document Wasted on Complete Crap'?

Jewel: That one doesn't fit. You need an 'and' for it to work right. Oh!! I got one!!! Eh, all the readers can see it anyway.

LaShana: He was being sarcastic.

Jewel: Well, in that case you can go die in a spiky hole after being put through a cheese grater right along with the buffalo man and the frogman.

*Far off cries of "Ribbit" and "Moo" are heard*

LaShana: Thank you Shannon and Angie and Emily.

Jewel: And before I am scolded by the lawyers who have not gone rabid this entire story, I do not own Yugioh, no matter how much I wish it and no matter how much blackmail I send to the TRUE owner.

LaShana: Not even a fight anymore..*sigh*

GothRabbit: You are all such WUSSES!!!!

Jewel: Oh dear, where'd you come from?

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My entrance was rather. surprisingly, unnoticed. Odd, because how would you react if you saw someone with a monkey clinging to their leg? I would ask a few questions.

But no reaction at all? I don't even think anyone saw me! Weird. Then I saw that everyone was kind of huddled together around something.

Or someone. Crissy was sitting in the middle of everyone, holding an ice pack to her head. Everyone was asking if she was all right.

"What happened?" Everyone turned to look at me.

Upon seeing Yugi, the monkey let go of my leg and bounded over to him. Running up to him, he leapt off a chair and landed on Yugi's head. His tallest spike to be exact. The monkey then latched his mouth onto Yugi's spike.

AND. would not be dislodged despite our best combined efforts. So we left it there, much to Yugi's *snicker* top-heavy-ness. oh. and annoyance.

Then I turned to Malik, "Why did you have a monkey in your dungeon?"

Yugi: "Why do you HAVE a dungeon?"

Seto: *suspiciously* "How does SHE know you have a dungeon?"

Jewel smacked Seto.

Mokuba: "What's that supposed to mean, Seto?"

Alli smacked Mokuba.

Mokuba: "Oh. Is this one of those 'birds and the trees' things?"

Alli smacked him again. Then Seto punched Mokuba.

Seto: "Shut up!"

Mokuba (who, I guess, cannot take a hint): "Or was it 'birds and the bees'?"

Alli and Seto assault Mokuba in the previous fashion.

Jewel: "SETO! What have you been teaching your younger brother?!"

Seto started to say 'Nothing!' but Mokuba cut him off: "The birds and the be-"

Alli smacked Mokuba again. Seto moved to attack Mokuba, but Jewel smacked him first.

I believe at this time our party had pretty much turned into a smack-fest.

I shouted: "Oh my gosh! I just got that! SETO! You pervert!"

Crissy stared at me oddly: "You JUST got that?"

Joey piped up: "So how DO you know?"

Seto punched him: "Don't say things like that or you will get smacked!"

Alenka slapped Seto: "You shouldn't think things like that either!"

"Hey Malik?" Crissy asked, "Why was there a kidnapping robed freak in your dungeon?"

Yugi looked positively aghast, "Crissy!"

Joey turned his attention to Cristal, "How do YOU know?"

Seto raised his hands in an innocent gesture, "It wasn't me this time!"

Yeah, it went on like that for a while. Then Joey and Alenka had to go. We finally got the monkey off Yugi's head. (Crowbars are goooood!) So Crissy and Yugi left to make the best of what was left of the day.

Malik finally got everyone off his back by classifying the dungeon as a basement. The guy, I guess, was one of Ishizu's (his sister) friends.

Anyway, Seto and Mokuba left. under the fierce glares of Jewel and Alli.

But. I still wanna know about the whole dungeon thing! So Malik, being the nice, kind person that he is, showed me his 'dungeon.' But it was just a normal storage basement deal with a dog cage for the monkey. Did I dream the whole thing?

I figured I had better help clean up. We had, after all, invited ourselves to his house, and I had accused him of a lot.

We ate Alli's left over hamburgers for supper. (I didn't want to risk killing my boyfriend now!) Then I let Malik pick out a movie for us to watch. He, of course, picks 'The Ring'. I think that's what it was.. Oh come on! It's not like we actually watched the movie!! I was freaked out and sobbing into his shirt (which he took off to let dry.) after five minutes. Then we.

Never mind. we. didn't watch the movie, but rather talked. I told him all about James being at our school and everything. Oh, Malik was sooo mad!

Then he leaned forward and kissed me gently. I had almost forgotten how safe I felt when we kissed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his.

I hate boarding school!!!!!!

Aundaine Valentine

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That was one of the more. interesting parties I've ever been to.

After Crissy's. interesting. exit, we didn't hear from her for quite some time. Then, I believe we heard something like this:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH Crap!.. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!!" *Thunk*

O.k then. She apparently saw one of the guys that kidnapped us, then *snicker* fainted and hit her head really, really hard on the stone floor. Good going Crissy!

So, while unwisely running downstairs to get to Crissy an ice pack, I may have erm. *cough-tripped-over-my-own-feet-and-fallen-down-half-a-flight-of- stairs-cough*.

Me: *Thunk* Ow.

Seto: (From upstairs) Are you okay?

Me: Fine, thank you, carry on.

Seto: Oh. OK.

Me: No you idiot, I'm not OK! Now come down here and help me up!

Seto: Oh. why didn't you say that in the first place? *He comes down the stairs.*

Me: Because I thought you could take a hint!

Seto: (Finally getting it) Oh! That must have hurt! Let me kiss the booboo for you!

Me: Yes! He can be taught! *Kissing of 'booboos' and 'ouchies' ensues. missing by a few. inches.*

So, when we finally do find an icepack, and I learn from Seto there is no spice called Mokuba spit (Why must everyone confuse me so much?) we went back upstairs to see Daine FINALLY arrive.

With. a monkey? That immediately latched onto Yugi's head w/out him noticing. Unfortunately, the rest of us did and we COULDN'T DISLODGE THE THING! But hey, if Yugi didn't mind a monkey eating his tallest spike, I wasn't going to comment.

Daine chose this moment to raise the question of: "Malik? Why do you have a monkey in your dungeon?"

Yugi: "Why do you have a dungeon?"

Seto: (Why did I get the perverted boyfriend?!?) "How does SHE know you have a dungeon?"

I smacked Seto really hard.

Mokuba (innocently): "What's the s'posed to mean, Seto?"

Alli smacked Mokuba, oooohhh! She's got long fake nails on. Sorry Mokuba!

Mokuba: (Does this kid every quit?) "Oh! Is this one of the 'Birds and the trees' things?"

Poor Mokuba got smacked/clawed by Alli again, and punched by Seto.

Mokuba: (still innocent) "Or was it 'birds and the bees'?"

Repeat of last assault.

Me (horrified): "Seto! What HAVE you been teaching your little brother?"

Seto started to lie, saying 'nothing', but Mokuba cut him off with numbering on his fingers: "The birds and the bee-"

Alli smacked Mokuba again and I slapped Seto before he could get to Mokuba.

That's when I decided that I'd better take one of my shoes off again.

Daine claimed: "Oh my gosh! I just got that! Seto, you pervert!"

She just figured that out? OK Daine..

Seto began advising Joey (Joey! Like, his other worst enemy!) not to say things like questioning Daine as to how she knew such things. Hehe. stiletto heels are good.

Yeah. after Crissy said. she saw the guy who kidnapped us, pretty much the same thing happened. all over again.

We then began to explain to Daine (who we completely forgot to notify,) that yes, immediately before the beach party, we were kidnapped. What a concept.

So Seto and I eventually left the party that had so many incidents in which much slapping occurred. We decided we'd see a movie back at Seto's mansion.

*Shifty eyes.* Just because I don't remember any of the characters. or the plot. and just recall the name. nope, I don't remember the name. never mind. Doesn't mean that we were making out the whole time! Mokuba joined us eventually and we dodged his questions about the birds and the bees for quite some time.

I had the following conversation with Mokuba:

Me: "So what has your big brother been teaching you?"

Mokuba: "Well, he first tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but that didn't work too well."

Me: "Umm. why not?"

Mokuba: "Oh. he tried to demonstrate and I found out HE couldn't ride a bike."

Me: "Like a bike or a motorcycle?"

Mokuba: "Like a training wheel bike!"

Me: *snicker* "THE Seto Kaiba can't *giggle* ride a bike with FOUR WHEELS!?"

Mokuba: "Pretty much. I think it's hereditary, too. Then we moved on to helicopters. At least we can both do that. though I am still better at hacking into computers then him."

Seto wasn't really paying attention until then. But he cut in with: "MOKUBA! What have I told you about saying that I taught you illegal things?"

Mokuba: *Sighs* "Not to say it unless it will give you a potential business partner or a date or it will in any way benefit my older brother."

What an interesting person I have for a boyfriend.

Jewel Valentine

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Jewel: At this point I would like to shake my head at Crissy for the next entry. NO MORE PITY FOR HER.

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Oh...deary...me...

Okay, so AFTER the slapfest (far to... erm... slappish to describe...) I left to go (Finally my dense bishie got a clue!) HORSEBACK RIDING!!

We went out to a stable and Yugi had arranged for me to ride a palomino half Arabian named Kilala. How cute is that?

Yugi, in a helmet was a SIGHT to be seen. He was riding this bay Warmblood named Lady Day. Erm.... sure... I can pretend that's manly... *Coughs*

But yeah, there's this bluff overlooking a lake we rode up to, and beyond the lake was a huge, flat meadow. I looked over at Yugi, erm, Yami, and he looked at me.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit."

"Me neither."

"Water warm?"

"Wanna find out?"

"Sure."

We cantered up a hill, then walked down the steep incline. After securing Kilala and Lady Day, loosened girths, etc, etc, we walked down to the beach.

On impulse, I pushed him into the water.

"Crissy!"

"Sorry! I had to!" I offered him a hand. Of course, he yanked me in. Now we were both sopping wet.

"Yami!"

"Oh, deary me, now we gotta get dry."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Well, we could let them dry in the sun."

In response I peeled my shirt off. I had an undershirt on, but the look of shock on his face was priceless. Then he yanked his black shirt off. We carefully laid them on a tree.

After stripping down to my underwear and his boxers, we waded back into the water. I tripped, and fell right into him. With a SPLASH we both fell into the shallows, me landing on top of him. I kissed him, smiling, and he kissed me back. We kissed for a bit, then I went deeper into the water and took off my undershirt. I was with a boy, almost naked, kissing him. Miss Verneile would die of horror. Go me.

So, swimming in a bra and underwear was kinda fun. Yami paddled out to me, and we raced each other to the opposite end of the lake. So, after practically drowning, Yugi and I (Yes, he switched) flopped onto the sand.

"Crissy."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Awww...."

So inspired by that, we made out for a titch more.

Okay, I'll describe the rest later.

*Happy, happy, happy sigh.*

Crissy Valentine

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I woke up this morning on Malik's couch. My first thought was 'Crap! Mai is going to kill me!' I guess I fell asleep during the movie...

Malik was upstairs with Ishizu... yelling. Here's what I heard:

Ishizu: -So you Let her STAY?!

Malik: We didn't DO anything!

Ishizu: How do I know tha-?!

Malik: Because you SHOULD trust me. And if you don't trust ME, trust HER!

Ishizu: I should trust YOU? I would never have thought you would have done this, so I can't be sure of your ideas anymore, brother!

I picked up Taze and walked up the stairs. I figured that I had sort of caused this argument between sister and brother and I had to TRY to stop it. I was, however, slightly red in the face. But that was nothing compared to Malik.

They stopped arguing when they saw me. Tazeden jumped out of my arms as Malik walked up.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that!"

I took his hands in mine and kissed him on the cheek.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Ishizu interrupted. She motioned to the table, then walked into the kitchen.

Breakfast consisted of eggs, toast, and bacon. "Malik didn't make it, did he?" I asked suspiciously.

He just smiled and led me to the table.

Ishizu sat staring at us through out the entire meal. She was rather angry looking. I decided to break the ice. "Do you have a brush?"

She glared at me and stalked upstairs. I glanced at Malik.

"I am so sorry for doing this to you!" I placed my hand on his shoulder... then realized... he wasn't wearing a shirt. He was in these navy blue pajama pants with hearts on them. I turned a darker shade of red, but he didn't seem to notice. A clock gonged and Malik got, reluctantly, to his feet. "I'll take you to the train station... When does it leave?"

Oh! I had forgotten about the stupid train... and the stupid boarding school. "Eleven."

It was ten o'clock, but, by the time I was ready we had picked up my stuff from Mai's house, and listened to her lecture, had bribed her not to say anything to Grandmother... and had arrived at the station it was already eleven. This goodbye was just as teary and... long... as the last. Maybe even more so.

The train was just about to leave when Malik wrapped his arms around me... I never wanted to leave his embrace, and he didn't want to let go. We kissed passionately, then Crissy tapped my arm.

The long-ish ride back to school was filled with many crumpled and mutated drawings of Tea, James, our teachers, etc. Oh, and about seven boxes (each) of Kleenex.

We drudged, scowling, to our rooms. I opened the door. One of my roommates was sitting in a swivel chair facing the computer.

"Hey." I said, "Ya know what? I hate this stupid school!" I was about to blow up at this point. "If I am forced to stay away from my boyfriend for another who-knows-how-long, I'M GONNA GO MAD!!!"

The chair turned around, but it was not my roommate sitting in it. It was...

"MALIK!!!!"

My spirits were elated. I ran and jumped into his arms as he stood up. The force knocked us into the chair.

His lips met mine in a hungry, groping, passionate kiss that lasted... a while. Before I realized what was happening, neither of us were wearing shirts. We fell off the chair and were kind of knocked to our senses.

I landed on top of Malik and rolled to one side. The sun had been shining through the window and the floor was pleasantly warm. But not as warm as Malik's bare chest.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it didn't seem long to me. His hand snaked around my back and I drew myself closer. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. The passion I read in them frightened me. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Don't be afraid." Malik's hand tilted my chin up to meet his eyes again. I shivered, despite the warmth. He bent down and our lips met again.

"So, why are you here, anyway?" I asked some time later.

"I was worried about this James character." I threw my sock at him. (He was sitting across the room from me.) Then I realized that I needed that sock and I had to get up and go get it.

He made me chase him around the room for a few minutes until I ran into the door. We then went through the whole 'Can I kiss the boo-boo' routine. But, of course, I had hit my head. He had really bad aim... So he had to keep trying. (Which was fine with me.) Then we went in search of James.

ON WITH THE HUNT!!

P.S. Malik stole Kaiba's helicopter... so we have no limits on where we can go!!!

Aundaine Valentine

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Ok, if a train for boarding school leaves at eleven, what time does Jewel's b/f come to pick Jewel up? 10? 9? 10:30? No. He comes at 10:55 AM. So obviously, I would NOT be catching the train.

So, what mode of transportation would Seto bring? A motorcycle? A car? A limo? A bike? A pickup truck filled with chickens? Of course not. A stupid fooing helicopter that he lands in our front yard, crushing Daine's sugar cube castle. How she glued it with Elmer's Glue without melting the sugar is beyond me!!

So, as he steps out of the helicopter, Taze runs up, jumps on Seto and Seto trips out of the helicopter, landing flat on his face in front of the one remaining garden fairy. Very smooth Seto.

We flew the helicopter (Seto tried to teach me! YAY!) to the boarding school, where Seto convinced me I should try to land on the roof. The boarding school is like a castle, so we landed on one of the outer pillarish things. He ended up taking over when I... knocked bricks off the castle wall. Ms. Verneile is gonna kill me.

So Seto, (poor guy) volunteers to unload all of my stuff. That took a few trips... I think I brought 5 suitcases and 3, no 4 little carry case things.

And there was nobody in the dorm room... and I didn't have any classes today... So we started out talked... then we watched a movie... then we had more flying lessons (avoiding trees is apparently a GOOD thing.) Then Seto had to help me fix dinner again... by the time we got through the minor kitchen fire (Although Seto can cook better than me, not like I'm much to beat) he has never actually experienced the fact that when you wear a long white cape near a lit stovetop it will catch on fire. What a concept, Seto, what a concept.

So he just kinda ended up never really leaving. Hehehehe... oops.

I believe that somewhere along the line, we realized that it was really, really warm inside.

Seto: "Do you mind if I take my shirt off?"

Oh, yeah, I certainly mind if my extremely hott boyfriend takes his shirt of in my dorm room. NOT!!! Me: "Only if you don't mind that I do..."

His eyes kinda snapped open and he looks at me coyly, "Fine with me. Jewel, do you believe in magic?"

"What kind of magic? Like, street magic? Ancient evil English sorcerer magic?"

"No like-"

*Swish, stomp, swish, stomp*

CRAP!! My roommates were coming back! OMG! That means Tea AND Shana!!

"I'm sure I heard something up her, Ms. Verneile." TEA!!! !@#$ her! She had Ms. Verneile with her!!

"HIDE IN THE CLOSET!!" I frantically whispered to Seto. *Shoved Seto in a really big wardrobe we call a closet.*

"Hey Jewel! Are you in there?"

At least it was Shana, and not Ms. Verneile.

"Yeah, why?"

"Tea says she heard voices. Can I come in?"

"Yeah! Wait a sec!" I say, throwing on a shirt.

"Ms. Valentine! You will not say such vulgar words as 'sec' in my presence."

"Yes, Ms. Verneile..." I stuck my tongue out in disgust as Shana entered the room. She laughed at my oh-so-ladylike face. Then she started to look at me strangely. "Umm... Jewel? Is that YOUR shirt? I'm perfectly okay with cross-dressers...but..." She (thankfully) whispered this as I re-locked the door. I looked down, I hadn't thrown on just any shirt. I had thrown on (#$%^) Seto's shirt.

Seto (#$%^) knocked around in the closet. "Jewel? You stole my shirt and I am not about to wear one of yours!"

"Shana? I know what you're thinking, but please don't-"

"Is.is... that? No! Way! Is that Seto Kaiba?"

Seto conveniently chooses this moment to stumble out of the closet. Still no shirt.

"OMG! It is! OMG! You're my HERO!"

"Good, Jewel could use someone who hero-worships her." Why won't he shut up and jump out the window so I can pretend he was a hologram or something?!

Shana finally takes in that Seto Kaiba is in her boarding school with no shirt on in one of her friend's dorm rooms. Her heads snaps back and forth really, really fast, and her ponytail hit my face. "Ouch."

"Can I have your autograph?" I motion for Shana to be quiet so Ms. Verneile won't hear.

"What?" Seto looked... perplexed.

"Seto! Sign the d*** piece of paper!" I'm a little stressed right now, can you tell? "Umm... give me just a sec...ond."

I run into the attached bathroom, grab MY shirt and quickly switch shirts with Seto.

As I get back, the two of them are bent over something small and fuzzy. TAZE HITCH-HIKED ON THE HELICOPTER! And since Tea and Ms. Verneile are still checking rooms outside...

"Taze! Come here boy!" He jumps into my arms and looks as cute as ever, "Hey little guy! Wanna buy us some time?"

He barks and I'm thinking 'Gosh I hope this works!' as I quickly unlock the door and let Taze appeal to Tea and Ms. Verneile. Outside I hear Ms. Verneile commenting "Oh! Aren't you such an adorable little creature?!"

Seto, now with a shirt on, is still standing there. "Can you get outta here without using the door?"

He nods. "Sure. I'll see you as soon as I can. Call me!"

Shana gasps and looks flattered, "Really?"

"Shana, that was directed at me." I say, slightly icily.

"Oh." She looks downcast.

Seto moves to the window, "I had a great time," and kisses me goodbye.

"Go! If Ms. Verneile catches you...us... whatever, we're in deep trouble!"

He jumps out the window.

"How'd he do that?"

"I dunno... he'll be fine, though, he's always got something up his sleeve." I look out the window. "See? He's not even there any-" I got cut off by Seto (who had apparently NOT jumped, just stood on the windowsill) kissing me goodbye again. THEN he finally jumped up to where the helicopter was waiting.

O...k... so now Shana and I still have to get out of here. I unlocked the door to see Tea and Ms. Verneile still being quite amused by the ever so cute Tazeden. I love that dog.

So we sneak by them, explaining that we needed to bring Taze... to the... vet? Sure, whatever, we'll go with that.

So, as I'm walking to Daine's room, I hear this cry of "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Oh crap! What happened now? I run into her room, open the door, and start frantically saying "What is so wrong that you have to let the WHOLE CASTLE know?!"

She sticks out her hand, glowering, and points to someone standing near the window.

Simultaneously we cry "YOU IDIOT!" and push him out the window (Daine did it!!)

Jewel Valentine

PS: Stupid b/f!!!

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Jewel: Once again; BAD CRISSY. Thank you for your time.

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*Sigh.* I love weekends. And I despise Mondays.

So, getting back to the lake... we had fallen asleep and I was nestled in his arms all cozy-like. I woke up first, and for a moment I just watched Yami sleep. GOD IS HE FINE!!!!

I laid my head back down on his chest, completely aware of his hand resting on my thigh. My movement awoke him and he kissed my head.

"Mm, Yami, I wish time could just stop. Right here."

"I agree so completely, babe."

I giggled, then snuggled towards him more. He moved an arm out from under his head and slid it about my neck. I leaned into his touch, coveting the feel of his skin, it was awakening strange feelings I treasured. He gently moved his hand up my thigh and I heard him give out a little sigh.

"Something wrong?"

"Everything is perfect/"

I closed my eyes again, but then they flew open as my watch beeped, signaling it was a new hour. I peeked at my watch.

"Crap!"

I had an hour to return the horses, go home, repack, and get to the station.

Needless to say, even if our clothes weren't dry, we'd have to wear them.

Smart, aren't we, pushing each other into the water in our clothing...

So after returning our mounts, we sped over to my/Mai's house.

"Crissy, your train leaves in-"

"I KNOW MAI!"

I flew around my room, and suffered myself only three suitcases and one dinky purse thing. I know! Tragic!

Yugi piled everything into Alenka's rust bucket, and we drove pell mell to the train depot.

Only to realize that my watch was an hour early.

"So why aren't we still at the lake?"

"Because my watch is stupid."

"Ahh. Well, we should most likely wait for your sisters..."

Let the making out commence!

He kissed me, passionately, his tongue carressing mine. His hand slipped inside my shirt and I wrapped one of my legs around his. Thank goodness our platform was deserted! But I don't think we would have noticed anyone else...

But, getting back to the good stuff, soon I was breathing pretty heavy, and his hand was underneath the back of my bra.

I snaked my hands around his neck, pulling him towards me more, if that was possible.

So we made out. I'll spare all the nasty-hey, wait. I forgot, I just previously described it...........

But yeah, the train came, more liplocking, then crying, then train goes byebye.

More l8te (--- Heehee! I really wanted to do that.)

Crissy Valentine.

PS. I love my b/f!

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

Jewel: I am still being joined by the infamous GothRabbit.

GothRabbit: AND SHE IS SUCH A WUSS!!!!

Jewel: Right back at ya, buddy.

GothRabbit: That was a wussy comeback.

Jewel: Deal with it. Now tell the nice people to review.

GothRabbit: YOU HEARD HER, YOU WUSSES!!! NOW REVIEW!!!!

Jewel: Normally, you try to be NICE to the poor people who give your story compliments.

GothRabbit: Wuss.

Jewel: That's nice. I'm gonna talk to the reviewers now, K?

Annellarel: Oh dear...odd name, but whateva! I AM SO GLAD YOU READ THE LAST PART!!!!

JJCrimson: You betchya! There is not one thing that we will NOT put in this story...it'll just take us a while to get the plotline to move there!

GothAngel13: The person that writes for Crissy would like you to know that she was jumping up and down spastically because someone finally gave her character pity. She also (according to our conversation) would like to give you a spastic hug for doing so.

As always!!

GOD BLESS THE READERS!!!

Thanx for reading!!!

Now review!!