John Munch practically skipped into the squad room, his face alight with merriment. This frightened his coworkers, as when Munch smiled he bore an uncanny resemblance to a pedophile.

"My Felicia has come back to me!" Munch sang, as he danced over to the lockers, "She wants to marry me! For good this time!" Munch picked up the small box that was by now a permanent fixture on the locker room bench, and began filling it with his personal belongings, which included several different varieties of illegal substances, many with the evidence tags still attached. "I'm quitting so that I can move back to Baltimore and spend my life with her!"

Cragen had been hiding out in his office, praying that this wouldn't become a Quitting Attempt so he wouldn't have to deal with a happy Munch. But he heard his cue and sighed, thinking at least this one would be over with quickly.

"John," Cragen said softly, "You know this can't work out. No woman has ever really loved you, and none will. Felicia will leave you bitter and broken-hearted, just like before. Can't we just skip ahead to that part?"

Munch's face fell into an appropriately gloomy scowl. "Much better," Cragen thought to himself. Munch hurled the contents of the Tiny Box back into his locker, screaming, "I hate all women!"

"What?" screeched Olivia, Taking It Personally on behalf of all women everywhere. "I can't work with a misogynist pig like you! I quit!"

"Jeez Olivia!" Stabler exclaimed, exasperated. "Can't you let somebody else have the spotlight? Why do you always have to show everyone up with your quitting?"

"I'm a child of rape!" Olivia hollered. "Who has more of a right to quit than I do?"

"What?" boomed Fin. "No one ever told me that! All y'all punks've been holdin' out on me. I quit!"

Cragen retreated into his office and reached into his bottom desk drawer for the scotch he kept hidden there. The guys were going to have to work this one out for themselves.