Behind Blue Eyes

Chapter 18: What this future holds

(A/N: I suck at writing heart to heart, so I'm sorry if it is corny.)


So, dangling from the tree by my foot is quite annoying, being there with my father trapped in a net beside me is frustrating. All in all this whole situation is very frustrating and when I get out of this trap I am going to hunt my cousins down and kill them slowly. My father's movements in the net interrupt my thoughts of revenge and killing and as I circle around I cast an annoyed glare at the elder elf.

" Stupid knife. Damn him." He mutters as he tries to saw through the netting but gets nowhere and soon drops the knife to the forest floor where it lands blade in the ground and hilt standing upward. Sighing I cross my arms, how futile that seems it makes me feel better. Sighing I look about my surroundings and the feeling of dread creeps into my heart as one thought comes into mind, what if they leave us here until the next morning?

" Legolas?" I snap out of my thoughts and wait for my spinning body to bring me around to face the elder before I respond.

" Yes?" My spin sends me the opposite way.

" Can you stop spinning?" He asks and I laugh slightly.

" Highly doubt it." He laughs slightly when I turn back around and slowly make my way again. A breeze begins to blow and now I find myself swaying in time with the branch I am attached to, but at least the spinning has stopped. Swearing in dwarvish I catch my father's slightly amused look.

" Where pray tell did you learn that?" He asks slowly and I glare at him.

" One of the many adventures into the Dwarf territory. Estel and I traded the Dwarfs for some provisions and picked up a few words as well." I explain before going silent again. Why and I telling him this? Maybe the rush of blood to my head is making me loose my mind.

" So now Dwarf's know Elvish too?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

" Some words yes." He makes a grunting noise and I remember the hatred be had for Dwarf's. I really don't see why he hates them so badly, sure they are short and stubborn but he should look at himself now and then.

" Why do you dislike them so much?" I suddenly ask, surprising even myself with the question. He doesn't say anything for a few moments but when he does his voice is soft and sorrowful.

" Your mother use to ask me the same question. I don't really know why." He says and I bite back an angry retort, knowing that will only make him angry.

" Do you ever know why you do something?" I ask, not able to contain my anger and looking at the Elf lord on front of me.

" Sometimes." He nods and I roll my eyes, sure he does.

" Look Legolas about when you were younger…" He begins bringing the conversation, if you could call it that, to a brutal stop making my anger rise to its full.

" No! I do not care about when I was younger! You hurt me and now I have moved on." I shout and glare angrily at the elf in front of me, years of anger and hatred pouring through my eyes at him.

" Son you haven't moved on, only buried the emotions so far down you only think you moved on." He says calmly and I growl at him. How can be speak of this so calmly and not break a sweat? Bastard.

" I don't want to talk about it. Especially not with you." I grunt and curl myself up so my hands can easily grasp the rope holding my foot. Looking at the knot I try to find some way to wiggle the joint out without falling to the ground.

" Legolas. I want to talk to you about all that. I need to know if you can find it in your heart to forgive me." He asks and I stop, my eyes widening. My shock at the last word making me speechless, why would he begin to think I would forgive him after everything he has done to me? Would any other person forgive the man that abused and hurt him? I wouldn't think so, but Estel once told me that sometimes it is easier to forgive someone rather than hate them forever.

" Legolas?" My father's voice shakes me out of my thoughts and I drop back to my inevitable position. Crossing my arms I give him a basically annoyed look.

" What makes you think I should forgive you? I still carry the scars of your beatings on my back as a current reminder. Some days they still ache, my heart is not able to comprehend why you did such a thing. I trusted you father, and you betrayed that trust. I want to know why." I tell him and the elder closes his eyes, then opens them.

" I don't really know why I hurt you like I did. Maybe it was a combination of your mother's death and how much you are like her. Missing her caused me to lose sight of the one thing she gave me. That was you." I blink, I honestly thought he hated me since the beginning of my life, watching him wearily I narrow my eyes as he continues.

" When I realized what your mother did by sacrificing herself I was heart broken, I didn't understand why she would have wanted to leave me and you. Yet now I know she did it for a reason Legolas. Your mother often said things.."

" Happen for a reason and we might not know the reason why until after the event has happened." I finish the saying she always said whenever something bad happened. My mother was such a kind-hearted person, although she was trained as a worrior she never chose to fight to get things done, instead she chose to negotiate through the problem, but in the end her gentle nature didn't help her.

" Yes, her death, I believe was to bring you and I closer." He says and I snort.

" All it did was drive us further apart. Her death drove you mad and made me your target." I whisper and he shakes his head, not saying anything. The thought of Lucciola comes into my mind and I blurt out my question, not caring what he thought

" What of Lucciola, my adopted brother? Do you treat him the same way you treat me?" Thranduil's head snaps up and he fixes his gaze on me.


That question sends a chill down my spine, mostly at the fact that he knows. Gazing at my son, dangling upside down beside me I feel the sadness and rejection seeping from those icy depths, making my mind freeze. I can understand why he feels so much rejection and possible sadness, the one person he was supposed to be able to trust in a time of loss and heartbreak abandoned him. I openly rejected that child, scarring his mind and soul and for what reason? My own stupid grief.

" No." I respond finally.

" Oh? Tell me what was the reason you thought you needed to replace me with him, I guess I am really the worthless bastard you always called me." He says and I drop my gaze, sadness radiating from my very soul makes tears come to my eyes but I hold them back, knowing I must appear strong.

" Lucciola… was also being abused by his father and when his older brother was killed by his father I took Lucciola in, thinking that if I did this I could patch some of the hole in my heart that the death of my wife created. It did but nothing could fill the entire hole until I was able to see you and beg for your forgiveness. I do this now." I tell him, tears finally spilling over my lids as emotions to strong to hold back burst.

" I never meant to harm you, I honestly didn't know how badly I needed your presents around until you were gone. I was thrown into a world of darkness and cold, not able to find any light except for the laughter of young Lucciola. But nothing he could do can compare to your light my son, nothing. You have the light of your mother and I never want to be without it again." I look over at my son and am shocked to see the warrior face has now dropped and is replaced with a saddened one, trembling as he tries to keep his composure.

" Adar… I..I honestly don't know if I can fully forgive you. My head is telling me too do so, but my heart says that to do so would be opening myself for betrayal again. I know that if I am betrayed again I will not be able to overcome it like I have before, I won't be able to bury everything under a mask." He says and finally lets out a sob, almost making his body shudder as he hangs from the branch.

" I can not tell you to forgive me, or even order you too but I want you to follow your heart and do what it says is right. For only you can heal yourself in time and when you think you are able to I'll be there." I tell him, brushing a hand over my eyes to clear the tears away.

" I've missed so much of your life already, I can't miss the remanding anymore, if you will allow me I want to be a part of your life, no matter how small."

" I know, I want you to be apart of it too. Although Lord Elrond has treated and raised me as his own there was never a strong bond between us as a true father and son would have. I am willing to try as long as you are." He says hesitantly and I smile weakly, nodding my head

" Yes, I would like to try."


We spend a better part of the day talking about things that have happened over the years we have been apart. My son telling me of the many adventures he and his cousin has been on in the lands of Dwarves and Men. One story in particular where he and his dwarf companion, a lad named Gimli fought off a group of Orcs, and how they kept count of their kills. My son says he was the highest but I think that if I ask this Gimli he would say he had the winning number. We laugh and talk, I tell him about the wondrous archers Tasinver has been making and the many warriors who want to try their hand at archery against the legendary Greenleaf.

" Lucciola included. He is a fine archer and eager to learn new tips." I smile as I lean back further into the net, finding a comfortable spot.

" Well I'm glad your comfortable father." Legolas growls as he tries to get his foot out of the rope once more, I watch him curl his lithe body into a ball and struggles with it. Suddenly his determined expression turns to one of shock as his foot drops loose and he begins to fall. Watching as in slow motion he falls for a few inches and then angles his body so that he will land on his feet, bending his knees to absorb the impact. He hits the ground and then stands, a hand coming to his head as the blood begins to flow to the deprived areas of the body. I watch as he stumbles around for a bit and finally plants himself on the ground, a dazed look on his face. Once I think he has gotten that pebble into place I call down to my son

" Mind getting me down?" He looks up at me with a confused look before slowly getting to his feet and finding the tree I am tied off too. He looks at the rope, and then for a sharp object.

" Try your arrows." I suggest and he smiles a bright beaming one that makes him seem younger than he is. He goes to where his arrows have dropped and picks one up, then using the tip cuts the rope. I begin to fall before I brutally stop, Legolas' legs pressed against the tree as he slowly brings me to the ground. He rests me on the forest floor and I slowly untangle myself, then getting to my feet I brush myself off.

" That was interesting." I smile at the younger elf and he shakes his head.

" Wait till Elladan and Elrohir…." He begins but stops, remembering something.

" You were saying?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow as he suddenly starts laughing.

" Never mind, they probably already found my joke." I watch as his face turns red from laughing so hard that I chuckle slightly, vaguely wondering what he had done.

" Come, let us be going back." I say and begin walking back toward Rivendell, the sun about to set behind the valley walls.


Pacing my balcony I watch the sun go down, marking the end of the father-son talk session. Going out of my room and down the hall I stop briefly at Elladan and Elrohir's room, peering inside at the raised voices.

" I'm going to kill him!" Elrohir shouts and I hold back a burst of laughter as my brother comes into view his inky black hair is now stained light gray. Elladan fairs no better but his long hair is only spotted with gray.

" Trying to be Gandalf?" I ask stepping into their room. The twins give me an un-amused look before pulling on tunics.

" No. Legolas set a trap for us." Elladasn exclaims, slightly annoyed.

" Well I think you deserved it after what you did to me today." I jump at the musical voice that suddenly comes from behind me. I jump further into the room and spin around to find Legolas, his golden hair slightly tangled and clothes jostled but all right otherwise. A slight smile on his face, but the annoyed look in his eyes tells me his isn't too happy.

" You didn't have to dye our hair!" Elrohir shouts and Legolas laughs, doubling over as the twins advance upon him. I try to rescue my friend as he is chased down the hall but can not since they burst into Father's study, Legolas in the lead.

" What is the meaning of this!" father bellows making the laughter and shouts stop suddenly that I peek around the corner to find Gandalf, Father and Glorfindel sitting in the chairs, in a meeting. All glaring at the elves in the room.

" Legolas I take it you spoke with your father?" Elrond asks Legolas and the elf turns and stands simply, and nods his head.

" Yes and we have worked something out." He says and father raises an eyebrow.

" Oh?"

" Yes, I have to do what my heart tells me is right and he will never abandon me like he did."

" So all is forgiven?"

" Not all, but some. There is a lot that needs to be resolves that couldn't be while hanging up in the air." He smiles and I smile, happy to know that my friend is well on his way to recovering from the long time feelings he kept hidden. Father seems to like this answer and sits back down, dismissing the elves from the meeting. Together we all walk down the hall to the Main room where dinner is being served. On our way we pass Lucciola, who is coming back from the hall, Legolas breaks away from our little group and stops Lucciola, who stops eating his apple and watches his older brother.

" Dear little brother, would you like to have an archery contest?" Legolas asks, giving him a hopeful look and Lucciola steps back slightly, giving Legolas a shocked look.

" Uh.. sure…" He says and Legolas smiles, grabbing his arm and taking him out the passageway into the gardens where a small target range is set up. Smiling and ushering my brothers on the back we head off to get something to eat leaving the two brothers alone.

{ Lucciola }

Legolas approaching me was different, but him asking me for an archery contest was very scary. The elf seemed to be much happier than before and more willing to talk with me, he hands me a bow and a few arrows, then sets himself up to take a shot. Before he looses the arrow though he turns to look at me, his face calm but happy.

" Lucciola, I wanted to speak with you." He starts and I gulp. Last time we talked I was the one with a Knife in my back.

" Okay." I say wearily watching his hands for any weapons.

" Don't worry, I won't attack you or anything." He laughs and I stare openly at him. He turns and fires off an arrow, it head dead on the target, making me very jealous.

" Tell me about yourself." He says and I step up to make my shot giving him a confused look.

" If you and I are to act as brothers we can't be strangers." He smiles and I feel relaxed suddenly. Taking my shot I sit on the bench, telling him about my training and the things I enjoy doing. He comes and sits beside me, listening and telling me his likes and dislikes. By the time our 'contest' was over we had each only gotten off two arrows and really didn't care who won. Going back to the hall I suddenly feel more like a family member, almost like I belong beside Legolas as a brother.

" Well brother, I think we share much." He says and that does it, my feeling like a true member of the family is complete. Turning to the elder elf I stop and lower my eyes.

" Thank you Legolas. Since my brother died I didn't think anyone would be able to fill his spot in my heart, but… you have. I am proud to call you brother." I smile and look up, his face is expressionless but his eyes are filled with joy.

" As am I Lucciola." He clasps me on the shoulder and together we walk back into the building, as brothers.

~ General POV~

Legolas sits on his window seat, parchment and charcoals out, drawing furiously. His gaze is focused only on the drawing, which his hands move like water over, forming the right shapes and making the forms come to life. Soon the rounded shapes have eyes, and the eyes are then given eyebrow, above that hair the color of golden light. The faces soon become alive with expression of happiness, and from that is formed another head, then another. Until finally the faces can be made out as four elves, smiling in a portrait. Legolas beside his brother Lucciola, his father above them and his mother, face now complete beside him, smiling as she gazes at her family. Legolas holds the drawing away from him studying the faces and a slight smile coming to his own face. Patting the charcoal down and wrapping it tightly in another larger sheet of parchment he writes a letter to his family before going out into the sunlight to where his father and brother are getting ready to leave. Going over to his father, now mounted on his charger he hands the drawing to him. Thranduil gazes down at his son, sorrow at him not returning with him etched on his face. He leans down and hugs his son, a gesture which Legolas returns with a close of his eyes and strong arms wrapped around the elder. They stay like that for a few moments before breaking away. Thranduil leans back down and kisses his son lightly on the forehead before heading off, Lucciola right beside him stops and clasps hands with his brother, but Legolas pulls him into a hug, before handing him a dagger, the same one he held to his back that night. Lucciola laughs and Legolas smiles before wishing his brother a safe trip and watching them ride out of the gate, his eyes never leaving them until they are but specks on the horizon, even to Elven eyes. Turning a whispering song cam be heard coming from his mouth as he walk slowly back into Rivendell

No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like

To be hated

To be fated

To telling only lies

But my dreams

They aren't as empty

As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely

My love is vengeance

That's never free

No one knows what it's like

To feel these feelings

Like i do

And i blame you

No one bites back as hard

On their anger

None of my pain and woe

Can show through

The End

That was the longest story I have ever written and I would have never of done it without the kind people who reviewed and gave me their support. I hope this was a good ending for you and I tried to appease those who wanted Thranduil to be forgiven and not. Honestly this story wasn't supposed to come out like this, it was supposed to be so different.

Laurendil: Thank you for that review it was very kind of you.

Mr. Padfoort 1: Does that answer you and your friend's question? I somewhat got my idea from that song, that and a few other things.

Jeez, who would have ever thought my English teacher would actually except this as a story for a project. I got an A minus on this, mostly because I didn't make up my own characters.


The race of Elves has been wiped out by a group of humans set on Genocide. Arathron, King of Gondor attacked that group and ended their assault on the oldest beings in Middle Earth, but it was too late, only a few survivors remain. Three survivors have taken refuge in the city of Gondor, helping the King and his family. Yet when the destructive group begins to arise again, what will the King do when their leader is within his walls?



Thank you,

Immortal Sadness