Nabiki - Master of Anything Goes
Nabiki - Master of Anything Goes[R]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Ranma made another bet with Nabiki? Won't he ever learn? Well, at least this time it's a bet on an Anything Goes Martial Arts fight between Ranma and Nabiki. Surely our pig-tailed hero is capable of defeating Nabiki, 'aint he? Will this be the one time Ranma actually manages to one-up Nabiki?

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were! The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above if you're reading this on

*emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers*
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Chapter One:

"Stop fooling around, you bloody jerk!" Tendo Akane hollered. "I'm a Martial Artist too, take me seriously dammit! I'm a Master of the Tendo School of Anything Goes, you half-man Kuno-loving asshole!" she ranted, desperately trying to connect with a constantly dodging Saotome Ranma who stiffened slightly and nearly got hit as the 'half-man' statement emerged from Akane's lips.

"Hah! 'Master of the Tendo School of Anything Goes'! Feh!" Ranma snorted, his eyes shooting daggers at Akane. Name-calling was one thing, but he was sensitive enough about the current state of his manhood without her using it to insult him. Not to mention the 'Kuno-loving' bit! "If you're a master of the Tendo School, then I don't give much for that branch from what I've seen what you are capable of! If you can land even one punch, then I'll... I'll... I'll be your slave for a month, 'Master'!" he retorted, then blinked as he realised he'd gone too far. He'd not only insulted her, but her entire School. / Nice going, hotshot. You're letting her get to you./ he berated himself. But before he could squeeze out an apology, an apology even *he* for once understood was necessary, Nabiki interjected from the sidelines where she was observing the fight.

"I wouldn't get too cocky, Ranma. Akane isn't the only practitioner of the Tendo School of Anything Goes in this Dojo. I might just take you up on that offer in her stead to redeem our School's honour." Nabiki ventured with a proud smirk.

"You?" Ranma snorted, looking Nabiki up and down, distracted from his original intention of apologising. Nabiki had never displayed any real proficiency in Martial Arts before. Of course, Ranma's views on proficiency were a bit twisted, he had to admit. Nabiki did have some skill, perhaps she was good enough to face a brown belter, perhaps even a first Dan on one of her better days. But against him, she came up woefully short of the level of skill required to even come close to landing a hit. "I'd like to see you try!" he laughed.

"For that remark, I think you will." Nabiki replied with a wide grin. "Just remember the stakes here. I land a hit, you're my slave for a month." she warned him and Ranma grew hesitant. Nabiki seemed awfully sure of herself. But he *knew* that she wasn't good enough, he *knew* it! He'd learned enough about her by now, not to make any careless bets with her. But this was Martial Arts! He knew Martial Arts! He was the best! She wasn't good enough! This time, he'd finally get her back for all the crap she'd pulled!

"That goes the other way around too." Ranma warned her. "If you don't land a hit, you'll be my slave for a month." he explained, to which she raised an eyebrow, then nodded.

"All right." Nabiki agreed. "I'll just go change, you can let Akane make a fool out of herself in the meantime." she added, nodding at Akane who'd worked herself into a murderous rage during the time since the insults. Hearing Nabiki belittle her like that, on top of Ranma's earlier insults, did not help her mood any.

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANMA!" Akane growled, then launched herself at Ranma with all the furious speed, immense power and 'subtle' grace of a runaway train, telegraphing her moves from five miles away. Ranma merely sighed and started dodging effortlessly again.

When Nabiki returned seven minutes later, Akane was in a fetal position on the floor, panting wildly and sweating rivers. Ranma stood a ways off, looking bored and relaxed, not a hair out of place. Nabiki raised en eyebrow again.

"You actually hit her, Ranma-baby?" she inquired.

"Naw. I let her chase after me, wasting her energy throwing punches and kicks that were so off the mark that I could hardly believe it. She ran herself into the ground." Ranma replied with a disappointed sigh. He looked over at Nabiki, then smiled at the sight of her in a white Gi. He'd never seen her wear anything of the kind before and he found the sight somewhat amusing. A black belt was loosely tied around her waist.

"You done, Akane?" Nabiki politely inquired, as she bent down and started loosening herself up with a series of exercises.

"... Not... *Wheeze* ... Yet... *Wheeze* ..." Akane panted from the floor. "I'm... *Pant* ... Gonna... ... ... *Wheeze* ... Show... *Wheeze* ... That asshole... *Pant* *Pant* *Wheeze* That I'm a... *Wheeze* Real Martial... *Pant* Artist!"

"All right. Take your time." Nabiki pleasantly agreed and kept on warming up. Ranma observed her in silence, confirming his long-held opinions regarding her martial skills. Akane got up on a periodic basis, trying to slug him, but he danced out of the way effortlessly, much to her dismay and great frustration.

When she finally gave up with a growled curse and stomped out, fuming, panting, wheezing and cursing under her breath, Nabiki had started doing graceful Kata's. Ranma grinned at Akane's back, then studied Nabiki for a few moments, silently revising his assessment of her skills. She was somewhat better then he'd expected for someone who didn't practise the Art on a regular basis any longer. Obviously, her Yoga and tennis training kept her in excellent shape and the training she once had received in Martial Arts appeared to be coming back easily enough to her.

In fact, she wasn't that far away from Akane's level in skill. But Nabiki was more graceful and went between moves in a much smoother manner. While she didn't have Akane's brute monstrous strength and was a little bit slower, she didn't suffer from Akane's terrible temper and she didn't telegraph her moves as badly as the younger sister. Ranma had to admit that because of her calm, Nabiki probably was the better Martial Artist. Even though Akane did have more skill, strength and speed, she couldn't use it as efficiently because her temper made her sloppy, reckless and very often caused her to overextend herself. That lack of control was the major stumbling block, which kept the youngest sister from evolving into a respectable Martial Artist.

"You ready?" Ranma inquired, causing Nabiki to stop and turn around to regard him. She nodded.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Nabiki replied.

"You do know that you've got no chance to win, don't you?" Ranma asked her.

"This isn't a fight until knockdown, you know. I don't have to win and I know very well that I can't." Nabiki interjected. "Not only are you on a completely different level of skill, but I can't inflict anywhere near enough damage on you to actually knock you out. Akane and Ryoga might have the sort of brute strength required for that, but I don't." Nabiki continued. "But land one hit? That, I can do." she finished with a victorious smirk.

"No, you can't." Ranma sighed. "You're better then I thought, quite possibly better then Akane. But you're not good enough, not fast enough, to actually hit me."

"That's what we're here to see, isn't it?" Nabiki retorted, then got onto a loose horse-stance. "You done blustering and prepared to put your money where your mouth is?" she asked him.

"Feh. I'm ready." he agreed with a faint shrug, not assuming any sort of recognisable stance. He merely stood in what seemed like a relaxed slouch.

"I'm going to enjoy having you at my beck and call for a month, Ranma-baby." Nabiki informed him. "Not that I already don't, but it'll be nice to not have to persuade you into doing what I want over and over again for a change."

"The first thing I'm going to have you do once you're my slave, is have you get back every single picture of me that you've ever sold." Ranma retorted. "Then I'll have you get Shampoo and the Kuno's off my back. You probably already know how, but are holding out for the day I get some serious cash so you can sell the information to me."

"You may win the battle, Ranma-baby. But I'll still land at least one hit, making you my slave for a month." Nabiki warned him, then finally moved.

Ranma snorted and danced out of the way, easily avoiding Nabiki's punches, kicks, elbows and knees. She nearly got him good, as it took him by complete surprise when all of a sudden she withdrew one of Ukyo's throwing spats from the sleeve of her Gi and threw that at him. He ducked underneath it and actually had to make an effort to roll out of the way of a swift downward kick. If he hadn't rolled out of the way quickly enough, she'd ground her heel down into his groin.

"That was a good one. Damn well nearly got me there." Ranma complimented her. "However did you learn how to use those?" he asked her and shifted up a gear, as it turned out that she had been holding back a little. That last kick had been a whole lot faster then her previous attacks. At first, he had thought that Nabiki was a little bit slower then Akane, but that had been wrong. She was faster. Not so much that it would enable her to hit him, but it definitively put her on a level slightly above Akane.

Just what the heck was it that had deluded Akane into thinking that she was the best Martial Artist in Nerima before he arrived and things got completely screwed up? Nabiki was better. The Kuno's were better, all three of them were more of a threat then Akane was. The golden pair were better. Tofu was better. So just why was it that Akane had believed herself to be the best?

"They're not that different from a throwing knife. Once you get used to the balance, it's a piece of cake. And I knew that a throwing spatula would surprise you more, then if I used an actual knife." Nabiki replied. "Ukyo leaves them lying around all over town and I figured it might come in handy to be used to throwing them sometime, so I started practising with a few I came across a while back."

"Cheater." Ranma grunted dismissively.

"It's called 'Anything Goes' for a reason, you know?" Nabiki retorted. "And we never said anything about banning weapons from this little match, now did we?"

"Guess not. All right, bring it on." Ranma taunted her, then danced out of the way of a particularly vicious kick and ducked underneath another spatula.

"I guess it's time for a special attack soon, don't you agree?" Nabiki inquired pleasantly.

"A what?" Ranma inquired.

"A special attack. You know, you and Ryoga are constantly throwing Ki, roasting chestnuts and things at each other. I think it's time for one of my own special attacks." Nabiki explained.

"You don't have any special attacks." Ranma snorted.

"Oh?" Nabiki asked with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. "Watch this..." she warned him, then got back into the loose stance she had started in. "ANYTHING GOES TENDO SCHOOL, TENDO NABIKI SUPREME DISTRACTION!" she bellowed, grabbed hold of her jacket and pulled the fabric to the sides, revealing that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath it. Ranma froze in shock as she flashed him, revealing her firm and shapely breasts to him. His eyes bulged out, a thin tendril of blood started creeping out of his left nostril and the next thing he knew, he was sitting on the floor, rubbing his left cheek.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Nabiki whimpered as she danced around, cradling her right fist. "What the hell are you made out of?! Armoured plating?! That felt like hitting a tank!" she demanded.

"Felt like... Hitting... Wait?! You, hit me?!" Ranma demanded, recovering from his temporary paralyzation. He looked around and his eyes got even wider, as he discovered that he was sitting on the ground, nursing a sore spot on his left cheek. "You... Hit... Me..." he repeated in a stunned tone of voice.

"Yeahyeahyeah. I hit you and now I'm beginning to regretting it!" Nabiki exclaimed. "I think I broke my hand on you." she added and Ranma bounced up from the floor. He was at her side between one blink of the eye and the next. Nabiki suddenly found her right hand in his possession and winced as he gently probed it, watching intently as he did so.

"You punched correctly, the wrist is fine. But your fingers... I think you sprained your index finger, the others seem fine, though you'll probably be bruised for a while." Ranma ventured, exhaling with relief, before he suddenly got tense again. "Uh... Nabiki..."

"Yeah?" she replied, gingerly trying to move her fingers.

"Could you... Perhaps... Close your jacket..." Ranma mumbled, averting his eyes and blushing furiously.

"Wha..." Nabiki begun, then looked down. "Oh." escaped her lips, then she hurriedly pulled her jacket close and retied the belt over it. "Got a good look, eh?" she teased him, causing him to blush even more furiously then he already did. "Well, I did hit you like I said I would. You can enjoy the rest of the week as a free man, then we'll begin your month of slavery on Monday." Nabiki magnanimously announced, patting Ranma on the back with her left hand. "Don't feel too bad about it, Ranma-baby. When it comes to 'Anything Goes', I've got you beat. Hands down." she informed him, then walked off in search for Kasumi and her medical skills, leaving Ranma in the Dojo, standing in stunned silence and sporting beet red cheeks.

The End! ( For now... )