Kiss of Humanity

A/N: HIYAS!! This is Loki with her first yaoi fic!! HELL YEAAAA!!! I so totally do not rock!!! _ Anyway, since I'm not good at this at all, I'll try to do my best.

Dedication: My deeeeeear Lucy Poopsie Poo. XPPP MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Pairing: ChaosxLoki


It was another night on the road that we had been dealt with. Skurai over somewhere skulking near Lidia who obviously wasn't being nicer than anything towards the disgruntled member while Iris and Fenris had decided to go take another bath, leaving two out of us six alone with each other.

These two are Chaos, the amnesiac Dragon knight, and I, Loki, the best assassin from the assassin's guild. Bittersweet memories playing on the wind that I had never endured played to me a melody of a lonely child, broken with no doll to get from a dead mother or father. The melody often reminded me of her, that one little girl that had protected her father even if he had already revealed himself as a demon.

The fire-branded Chaos takes a glance at me, which I have been feeling slightly, disturbed with. Lately, that is all he's been doing whenever we were able to be alone. I never really got to talk to him about what I had needed to say at the baths, nor do I think I ever will.

His eyes draw me in as I've finally decided to just catch him staring at my physique, a small reference to the strength that is well hidden. I can't help but want to catch him, but then again not. He watched me as if this was just a mere daze.

"Loki.......What are you thinking?" His voice seers the cord that I had with him. I hadn't noticed but for some reason he seemed to come forward towards me entranced by something that I could not comprehend. I needed no understanding of why this was happening but that was before when I would've killed him on sight.

I wonder if he grew a brain somewhere in that rocky brain of his also, but then again it is unlikely seeing the wonderful company of people we keep. Moving over, away from his sight, I stand against a tree in the forest we are camping out in. He looks to me still, his gaze piercing my back, escaping my heart into my mind.

Why was this happening? I couldn't help but wonder this as I locked eyes with him once again, almost challenging him to do anything to me. He smiled, that one smile that I could see he didn't show in front of the others, being as earthy as he was towards me and me, alone. He seemed to be different towards me than the rest, except for maybe Iris, the cleric.

He stepped forward, taking my challenge though neither of us spoke a word to the other. My heart, my non-human heart beat faster into my chest, constricting it, tightening it as the melody in the wind intensified. Another quick step could be heard from the wind's stillness continuing. My heart sifting through the praise of the gods and more than not the cursing of them as well.

I didn't want to feel anything like this. I wasn't supposed to feel anything like this!! I wasn't!! I wanted desperately to turn my head away from his golden embers, the same ones used for almost every emotion probable, even moreso since he guarded those burning jewels from the world like his own self often did to everyone around him.

The three feet of closeness soon became inches as Chaos moved forward to me, his mouth twitching into an unbelievable and torturous grin, affectionate in its own way. He leaned forward towards me, catching me between the tree and him. He had blocked me off and I very well couldn't hurt him, otherwise his two loving women would hurt me, well maybe not hurt me that much, but do some damage to me.

His cheek rubbed against mine as I felt those talking lips place themselves onto my own cold ones. Sucking upon the flesh, bringing it towards him, and even though I have greater control than most people could ever, I felt my lips now swollen, come forth, and kiss his back, teasing and torturing each other in a mockery of challenging. I couldn't help myself as we both pressed further into the other's mouth. I could feel my heart racing, shaking violently into twists and turns as though this would be the first and last time I would allow myself this kind of adrenaline.

Then I stopped. I am not human. I remember that now. I'm not human at all. Blinking, Chaos opens those sweet golden orbs, those oculars that can look deep into someone and focuses them on my own confused bewildered forest green ones. Why? Is all I can think as I duck and run away from it to the woods. I can tell by now that Chaos feels ashamed, hanging his fiery lockes with his head to try not to face what he'd done to me just now.

I couldn't comprehend this. I was always the most levelheaded smart one in all my years as an assassin but this feeling made me go crazy almost. I couldn't stand that I felt weakness in me and then again the same weakness being my strength. Why had this happened to me? It wasn't supposed to!! I was just supposed to kill him!! I was!!

But then again, plans do change. How would I kill him if he were really the murder of my guild? I don't ever know how I'd get past this feeling of strange strength and stranger weakness. I suddenly stop, knowing I had gone far enough away to think out the rest of my troubles in solitude. Stepping onto a brush, I stayed there, realizing that I would have to face those golden eyes of disappointment again. I would have to see and realize that I did care for him in someway, someway that was different than the way I treated my teammates.

I don't know how long I stood there in the woods by myself staring at the forest ground in deep thought, being reminded of the wolfish instincts I was controlling to go back to Chaos and become his when I heard the younger one's voice. Her reddish brown rusty hair swinging from her shoulders as she approached me cautiously. Her golden eyes reminding me of Chaos even more. The firebrand looked at my empty stare into her eyes, her own golden eyes twinkling reminding me of that kiss as I absent-mindedly reached out to her hands, reaching for one.

I needed some good information and no matter how bad Iris tended to act, she was the most insightful out of everyone, easily able to pick and choose her own emotions. My smooth hands easily finding a way into her clasped ones. She looks surprised but somehow with out a word, I know she understands my need to talk.

I take her towards the log that I had been standing on. My mind was racing over the question why I would trust her this much. In a real simple answer, she reminds me of Taulin, who was in a way, my younger sister. The comrades in arms I had back at the assassin's guild were my family and maybe even more, my life. I think that is why I lost it back then when the guild was massacred in that fashion from Skurai.

I trust her because now, she is like my younger sister, my confidante when I need a talk to. I don't understand any of these feelings that I had when I started out on my quest and even more I do not understand these feelings that Chaos, the amnesiac dragon knight brought out in me. They confuse and tear me apart while at the same time, She understands as we sit down, her legs following in my fashion.

"What is wrong, Loki?" Just the way she seemed to appreciate the view of my wanting to talk to her, I suppose showed her that she could trust me as well. Her eyes shimmer darkly, the same sparkles I had seen in Chaos's eyes once more, my head shaking away from that thought of the nicely figured swordsman back at our camp.

"Something and everything........How....How are you human?" I blurted it out, my voice quavering from the normal monotonous sound it usually had. She looked as if she expected this. Iris had this weird ability to understand everyone. She was an empathetic person with great insight into a person when she didn't have that frivolous mask she wore around man y of the others. In short, she was like a mother with a short temper. She opened her mouth to answer, but I stared and shook my dark hair. "Nevermind, it was a stupid question."

She blinked at me, smiling the way Taulin's mom would smile at her and me. Her eyes reminding me that the swordsman didn't have one either but it was enough that she was there for him. Her plush lips pulling into a small smile, the kind that a mother would give a child, a type I never had experience of. Shaking her rusty red hair, she nodded to me.

"No question is stupid. Some just have stupid answers. Being human is to love." She told him simply, her smile getting wider at the thought. I couldn't help but stare at her. She had given me a much easier answer than Chaos ever did and to find it come from her was amusingly worse. She tapped one of her feminine fingers onto her nose, thinking in a manner before she spoke sort of like Fenris always did. "You don't what love is."

My eyes widened in surprise of her having blurted out that simple statement that was the truest thing known to anyone. She looked upon me with conviction, willing to answer my question. For being a woman such as herself, she had a wonderful understanding of humans and non-humans all together even if she didn't get it at first.

"Do you want me to tell you?" I could feel the numbness wash over my face, my mouth forming into a frown as I nodded my dark black hair to match my partial confusion. Her face blossomed as she let my hands be clutched by own as if to tell me in my darkness that everything was indeed all right, it was going to be all okay.

"Love is when you're not sure of anything but them. It's when your heart beats faster than ever but still slower at the same time. Its when forever just doesn't seem to be enough to stay with them. It's when you feel that you've found something that wasn't there before. Love is simply a confusing skyship twisting and falling down but at the same time that's going up as well." She said it as if she were talking to a child, in which in truth she was.

I felt my eyes widen as I did recognize these feelings. The kiss that I had been given was in reality my first kiss ever. I had felt as if my heart was beating faster and slower, as if there was no sky and no earth, no time and that forever was too short to live with him and his adventures. I felt as if I was immortal but then again he made me mortal. God to mortal and back again. This feeling stabbed into my stomach creating a feeling of mixed origin.

"I...." I started up but my words would not come out, my heart slammed in its boney cage and my eyes closed as I tried my best to ask. "What if....."I let it linger, unable to say anything more as if I was taking a wild ride on an untamed wvryen. Chaos's eyes could easily be seen through hers though I knew that they were not the same. Younger sister Iris smiled brightly, her mind probably having had come up with the answer to my problems.

"What if you've fallen in love with someone?" She supplied me with the rest of the sentence that my mind couldn't help but formulate then. Her face turned towards the stars above us, above the canopy trees which we sat under, her red hair falling down upon her face creating an illusion of a beauty only if those eyes would turn into the man who held the same ones.

"Simple. You have to tell them." She stated it so simply, her face turning to look at me joyously then those golden oculars turned downwards creating the sadness she felt through and through easily seen. Her pale face brushed against my hands, her own gloved fingers cupping them in hers, touching her lips to them, trying her hardest to say something as I felt her tentative lip quiver. "You have to tell the one you love, otherwise it will eat you alive. You'll turn to be nothing but hollow and wasting away. Love's like a parasite that needs to be shared to create a true bond...Loki........Please go tell...." She didn't get to finish as her lips kept quivering against the tips of my fingers, a wet substance glided onto them as I felt her body shake.

"I understand...." I told her shaking form simply. She nodded those red lockes, turning to shake her head away from my fingertips, her head nodded, the tears that I felt on my tips were freely coursing down her face. I had barely seen her cry at all, even after Fenris told me about Fayon and how Skurai had murdered her home.

Funny. Her and I are almost the same except I don't open up my emotions that I have now. I got up from her form as she stood, wiping those free tears away from her face. Her rustic eyes straying upon my countenance, then nodding with the smile that said everything was all right. The torrent storm in my stomach did flips as I left her there to stand in the darkness, knowing full and well Skurai would find her.

I had to go confront the swordsman about this. Walking away, I felt the time turn, the skyship in my stomach doing barrels like Iris had said.


Third POV

Standing from where Loki left her, Iris noticed that gaze, the one that often seemed to unnerve her, pierce her very soul with a cleaver, a blade separating her heart and body all together. Turning around to face that gaze she felt her tears course down more gently now.

"Iris....." The voice's warmth was unmistakable. The owner's eyes glued onto her form as she smiled her smile of happiness, a smile of sadness, and a smile of secretivity. Her rusty hair wavered in the light from above, the moon seeming like a beacon of light just for her, her body illuminated by the silvery light of a full moon in the clearing as she moved forward to where Loki had left her.

"I'm right. I should say something, but is it right?" Her voice questioned the owner of the other voice and herself intently. Turning towards the awaiting person behind her, she seemed to have tricked the light to making her look like such a pure angel. Wiping the rest of the tears away, she faced the voice's physical manifestation.

"I don't know if it is right or if it is wrong, but you need to know anyway. I love you." She nodded simply, happy to finally have that from her chest as the owner of the other voice reached forward in the light and cupped her face between their gloved fingers, a stretch of black following the physical form, lips quivering as they took her in, then broke apart as gently as they had come.

"I don't care if it's right or not." The manifestation told her immediately. She nodded and hugged the darker and taller form. Her eyes closing as she breathed in its scent, a masculine, leathery scent.

"You're right. I guess that means you love me as well, Skurai."


Back to Loki's POV

I passed a worried Fenris, her pink hair dancing amongst the waves of the firelight we had in our camp. She barely nodded her acknowledgement to my presence when I saw him. I could not hold back from the feelings that had been awakened slowly and deeply within me. The storm within my stomach rumbled, tidal waves of acid sloshing against my ribs, against the protective lining of my organ, creating the effect of what one would call butterflies.

I was for the first time ever in my life, afraid. I stared at his back, his vermillion hair still spikey, flowing down his chiseled back, the back whose face I could only seem to imagine in fantasies that crossed my mind in thought more than often when I had been out thinking about that one little kiss.

I, Loki, was afraid of a mere swordsman who more than on one occasion proved to be more than just another ordinary rune knight. I felt as if my breath was heavy, a demi spell would have been lighter than what I felt in truth, my lead feet walking, taking slow delibrate and frightened steps toward his form in the middle of the trees a way from the campsite.

I hid my eyes underneath my bangs, wanting to keep those cold emeralds under perfected tinted coldness so that his gold ones couldn't peirce them, melting them to the core of their fiery gems. I took another step towards him. I could tell that he had heard me for he turned around. His eyes latched upon mine in surprise.

My fright edged away to the beating of my heart, the ramming of a lightenening spell coursing through my veins as he walked closer towards me. Was this torment what it meant to be human as Iris had said? His thick legs closed the distance between us to a foot. Neither of us wanting to break or say anything too horrible to the other.

"I'm so-"

"I didn'-"

I felt his deep breath chuckle in a somewhat defeated relief. My lips quivered for the right words to continue on with it. His golden eyes seemed to know something that I did not as my green oculars raised up on themselves. I looked at him, challenging him fully, then took charge.

Taking the step forward, closing the deep distance between the two of us, my hands held his finely narrow fighter's face towards mine, my lips brushing against his own cherry owns, claiming them softly and gently for a few minutes, the pleasure willing spreading through my body. Even though I let go of it mere seconds later after he had long returned the kiss, his finely toned arms curved around my waist, my heart still leaping up and down as he did this small thing.

I felt as if there was no time, just me and him.

"Why?" His voice questioned the still air around us both. His golden shining embers shining in confusion. I let a true smile envelope my lips, my eyes closing as I closed the distance between us again.

"For my humanity."


^___^ AWWW!!! This was good!! It's soooo awesome!!! I hope you like it, Lucy!!! Anyway, Im love Iris/Loki or Iris/Skurai. They're my favorites even though Chaos/Loki is okay too. I want to do a Skurai/Loki but that would be tooo weird for me to write. **shrugs** Well, at least it isn't as weird as listening to System of a Down's one minute Zelda song. I think I'm losing it since its been on repeat for an hour.

I love this fic and I love that crazy Zelda song. Anyway, as usual, PLEASE HIT THE REVIEW BOX AND DONATE A REVIEW TO THE HELP LOKI BE HAPPY FOUNDATION OR HLBHF!!!! THANK YOU!!!!