Authors' note: This chapter is a bonus omake and not part of the story's canon itself. We just figured we would add something funny and lighthearted after how tragic the story ended. We hope you enjoy it!
By Neon Tiger and Yuki Ryu
The atmosphere was heavy and the air was thick with the smell of ozone. A rumble like thunder or perhaps a massive creature growling was heard on and off. Unfortunately it was difficult to make out anything in this dark space.
Malik stared about in disbelief, his blonde hair whipping about in the wind, wearing a purple hooded vest and black pants as well as various assortments of golden jewelry - such as earrings with sharp points. "This is..."
Bakura emerged from the darkness with a rather perturbed look on his face. Though his eyes were silver, much like the thief's, his clothes were from the modern era, consisting of a white and blue striped t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and a long black coat that looked perfectly ordinary, not twisted in some odd fashion that it tended to inexplicably be in virtually every other time he was seen wearing it.
Malik turned to face Bakura, his expression surprised for a moment before becoming one of exasperation. "...Well, it's nice to see someone else feels the same."
"I don't know about you, but I'm sick of being here all the time," Bakura said as he eyed the swirling darkness surrounding them and snapped his fingers. Oddly enough in that instant the dark clouds dispersed and their surroundings shifted to reveal the inside of a rather ordinary looking building. There were some couches, tables, snack machines, and other things to make the place look like a break room.
"You're sick of it?" Malik scoffed before moving to flop down on one of the couchs. "Do you have any idea how sick I am of all of this?"
"You're not the one who keeps dissolving or some other crazy crap in these cracked dreams," Bakura retorted, eying Malik, as he sat down on the couch opposite of the blond and crossed his legs as well as his arms.
"Are you forgetting the fact that my spine apparently dissolved?" Malik arched an eyebrow as he regarded Bakura.
"Hmm... yeah, you have been acting like a weakling," Bakura mused as he lightly rubbed his chin. "It's pretty pathetic."
Malik's cheek twitched slightly. "...Look, I understand the situation that led up to my acting like that. It's realistic and to be expected. I just would have preferred it if they didn't put me in that situation to create such an outcome!"
Bakura nodded ever so slightly. "I agree. It's irritating to have to keep delaying actually doing anything in order to try and fix that damage. Not that the making out hasn't been fun."
Malik's cheeks tinted slightly at that. "...Well, be as it may..."
"As much as I like dominating you and doing pretty much whatever I want to you, it's irritating having to treat you like you're made of glass," Bakura continued as he regarded Malik with a bland look.
"D-dominating-!" Malik sputtered before he sat up, glowering at Bakura. "Don't you think I'm embarrassed by it!"
"Naturally," Bakura replied simply, his lips quirking into a slight smile.
Malik's cheeks darkened slightly, and he let out a huff before crossing his arms and slouching back in to the couch. "You're changing the subject, or are you just trying to embarrass me?"
"I'm just making my own observations on the situation we're in." Bakura quirked an eyebrow upwards ever so slightly. "Just like I've observed that my behavior varies oddly at times from mature and knowledgeable to acting just like a child. Not to mention we're losing track of the original point of adding these extra supernatural aspects to my past."
"Who are you to complain about that? You're surrounded by ghosts," Malik snorted before turning to face Bakura again. "I'm more concerned with the fact that I'm apparently neutered!"
"Really?" Bakura's smile turned rather wicked. "Then what was it that you sprayed me with before? Cream?"
Malik's face couldn't have turned any redder. "...You're such an ass."
Bakura laughed at that. "So that's your only problem? Losing your manhood?"
"...Well, no, but that's the primary one." Malik replied.
"Hmm..." Bakura leaned back against the sofa, his amused smile slipping away "They've forgotten the main point of the story, you know. It was supposed to be about my past, which was barely touched on in the original story, and they completely forgot about that because of all the distractions. Now it's been crammed in and is so out of place it might as well not be there at all!" He made an irritated noise as his expression changed to match his mood. "No wonder they're going to rewrite the entire thing."
"I think it might be because things kept getting added, instead of just being rewritten in the first place." Malik leaned back in to the couch once more.
"They should have been cutting crap out," Bakura grunted as he eyed Malik. "They better do that in the rewrite. If we have to go through that again I'm going to break more than just the fourth wall."
"Well, so far, it sounds like I've got my balls back," Malik muttered. "They'd better keep that in the final draft."
Bakura shifted slightly and uncrossed his legs as he sat up. "As long as they don't have me blurting out my entire past all at once and don't start piling tons of shit on us, I'll be happy."
"That was pretty cheesy, wasn't it?" Malik laughed. "But hey, at least I wasn't raped by everyone under the sun, like some people suggested."
Bakura let out an incensed snort. "Including me. What the hell gave them the idea that I like to rape people?"
Malik shrugged at that. "Who knows?"
Bakura let out a quiet grunt before eying Malik. "Speaking of sex, think there's going to be any in the rewrite?"
Malik blinked as his face turned red again. "...Why are you so concerned about that?"
"Because we never had sex, damn it!" Bakura slammed his fist down onto the sofa cushion. "They went all the way to NC-17, but we still didn't go all the way!"
Malik eyed Bakura oddly, his face a brilliant shade of red. "...You sound as if you were looking forward to it."
Bakura gave Malik an odd look of his own. "You weren't?"
"I didn't say that." Malik retorted.
Bakura arched one eyebrow upwards. "Then what were you saying?"
"I was just pointing out that you were looking forward to it." Malik replied cheekily.
"Che." Bakura snorted in irritation. "You're such a brat."
"And you're an ass," Malik smirked. "That makes us even."
Bakura leaned forward slightly as he gazed intently at Malik. "They better keep you like this in the rewrite so I can enjoy nailing your smug ass against the wall."
"...Don't you mean to the wall?" Malik arched an eyebrow.
Bakura simply grinned wickedly in response.
Malik stared at Bakura for a moment, before making a face. "...Pervert."
Bakura chuckled evilly and leaned back against the sofa again, looking rather smug. "So what do you think all that excess symbolism was about?"
Malik blinked at the subject change, but didn't say anything as he was rather thankful for it. "Oh, I've already figured that out. But it's really hard to catch, as it requires you to think outside the box... so to speak."
Bakura cocked his head to the side slightly. "You understood all of it?"
"Er, no," Malik grimaced slightly. "I've figured out some of it, but... I meant that I've figured out why it's happening."
"Do tell," Bakura replied in a somewhat bland tone as he crossed his arms.
"Well, that..." Malik was cut off from replying when the miniature golden-winged jackal wearing a red robe with white trim and gold decorations suddenly walked past them, toddling his way over to the snack machine.
Without a word, the small creature pointed at the snack machine. The machine exploded, sending snacks everywhere. The creature reached out to grab the various snacks it desired, until its arms were completely filled, before it turned and went back the way it came.
Malik stared after the creature before turning to fix Bakura with a neutral expression. "...Well, I can tell you there was no symbolism in that."
Bakura watched the tiny jackal disappear with an unnerved expression on his face. "...They eat way too much sugar."
"...That completely distracted me," Malik sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "Just like how every shiny new idea seems to distract them, and lead to the giant quagmire they're calling a story."
"No wonder they put an end to it," Bakura added and closed one eye due to irritation.
"I wonder if anyone will even understand what's happening," Malik sighed wearily.
"I doubt it, unless we give it away," Bakura retorted snidely.
"I doubt they'd let us get away with that," Malik chuckled.
"What do they care?" Bakura threw an arm up into the air in a rather dismissive manner. "They're the ones who chose to ditch this story in their 'canon'."
"Well, it's understandable. This story has taken how many years to complete?" Malik rolled his eyes. "Hah! They're lucky anyone's even reading it anymore... or would want to read this new one, too."
"That's probably why they're indecisive about whether the new story's going to be PG-13 or will be so chock full of smut practically every chapter has sex in it," Bakura commented rather blandly. "Me, I'd just be happy with nailing your ass at least once."
Malik stared at Bakura, looking particularly stunned.
"What?" Bakura demanded after he noticed the expression on Malik's face. "You can't tell me you're not frustrated too about them backing off on that after we got so close."
"...I'm not going to comment on that," Malik muttered. "It'd encourage you."
"Right, right, and this whole bit right here is supposed to be kept something close to PG-13," Bakura grunted as he made a vague gesture at their surroundings.
Malik glanced around for a moment as his fingers tapped on the couch. "...Hm."
Bakura glanced at those tapping fingers, the couch, and then gazed at Malik rather intently. "...Though there is the NC-17 version..."
"Well, it'd probably be censored to post on that other site... but..." Malik trailed off.
Bakura crouched slightly, a rather predatory smile on his face, but before he could answer or stand up a large top hat fell on his head. "What the hell?"
Malik turned around to stare at Bakura before tilting his head. "...It's a hat."
With an irritated growl Bakura tore off the massive top hat from his head, which was of a rather loud, garish color. "I take it this is their 'cute' way of saying 'denied'."
"...Or they're saying you're horny like a rabbit." Malik grinned.
Bakura stared at Malik oddly. "What?"
Malik pointed at his ears, still grinning.
Bakura was silent for a full minute as he gazed intently at Malik. "They put rabbit ears on my head, didn't they," he guessed at last in a dark tone.
Malik couldn't help but burst out laughing.
Instantly Bakura rose up to his feet and strode over to a full length mirror on the wall that hadn't been there before to verify that indeed his normal ears had been replaced with a pair of fluffy white rabbit ears, which twitched with the irritation he felt. "...Bitc..." he began only to be interrupted as a creampuff inexplicably shot out of a nearby vending machine and ended up crammed into his mouth, muffling whatever he was going to say.
Malik was practically howling with laugher, collapsing on the sofa as he covered his face as if to try and stifle the sound - albeit uselessly.
Bakura shot Malik an extremely annoyed look as he bit into the creampuff and removed the rest from his face. "Did I mention how annoying they could be?" he asked rhetorically once he chewed and swallowed his mouthful of pastry.
Malik managed to calm his laughter in to a mixture of snickers and chuckles, though he didn't bother getting up.
Bakura eyed Malik as he began to walk over to the sofa where the blond was lying down. Without warning he suddenly took what was left of the cream puff and splattered the filling all over Malik's exposed stomach. "Brat."
Malik yowled and sat up, staring down at his stomach before grimacing as the pastry coated his skin.
Bakura chuckled, grinning rather mischievously. "I would clean that up for you, but if I try what I've got in mind they're going to add a tail to match these ears," he commented wryly.
"Ugh...," Malik grimaced before proceeding to stick his finger in the cream, wiping up some of it before putting his finger in his mouth. "...Mmm."
Bakura's cheek twitched. "Oi."
"Mmmmn..." Malik grinned as he sucked on his finger slightly.
"You're taking advantage of the fact that I can't pounce on you, aren't you," Bakura accused as he gazed at Malik intently.
Malik slowly slid his finger out of his mouth and flashed Bakura a wicked grin.
"...Careful, or you're going to have a horny rabbit on your tail," Bakura warned as he eyed Malik and leaned in a little closer to the other boy.
Malik's response was to coat his finger in cream before sliding it in to his mouth again, before moving it in and out in a rather suggestive manner.
Bakura's cheek twitched again before he got a rather predatory look on his face. "I warned you."
"Hm?" Malik blinked and looked at Bakura, feigning confusion - his finger half in his mouth.
Suddenly Bakura lunged and practically pounced Malik back down into the sofa, pinning the messy blond beneath him.
Malik yelped as he was pounced, falling backwards on the sofa. He stared up at the predatory rabbit, his face slightly flushed. "...Uh."
"I don't care what they do," Bakura growled, his lustful gaze locked with Malik's. "I'm going to ravage you and make you scream my name until you pass out."
"You shouldn't tempt them like that..." Malik pointed out, his face turning even redder as he stared up at Bakura from his rather helpless position.
Bakura simply smiled in a predatory fashion as he leaned down to...