Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2, but you already knew that. I own my idea for a fiction.
But this story is rated R, if anyone's parents catch him or her reading it the author is not responsible.
This story should contain little to no profanities, however it contains adult content, scenes and a few adult jokes. Why bother swearing when you're going to put in tasteless humor?
This story contains no real person(s), characters not from Ranma ½ are originals, Han Lo-Chun, Mercedes, the Harumes, and the Chainsaw are all mine, Phil Satyr is an original character by JFalcon, Phil is not a real person. He is used in this story with *permission* thank you very much.

A/N: This is the Revised Version of this story, it's not young, it's a re-post. Why did I take it down just to revise it? Well I didn't, Admin did that for me without ever telling me they'd done it. While I'm not sure why, I've still made some changes to it that I hope will prevent such a thing from happening again. Major changes is that the story now has the proper 30 chapters, instead of 33 due to lemon chapters. Rather than have a chapters A and B we have just one chapter. More on that at Chapter 6.
Some spelling errors were fixed, some new ones were added to make sure you're paying attention ^_^
A couple scenes (especially in the former pure/lemon chapters) have been extended. Some things have been changed, but beyond that it's the same old Charlotte's Web you know and didn't entirely loathe

Charlotte's Web
Chapter One
Nabiki Learns a Secret!

It is nighttime, the cast and crew of Ranma 1/2 are currently out of the house, Ranma and Akane are at Ukyo's place, Soun and Genma signed up for the "Lock in" at the beer factory, Kasumi is at the 24-Hour Grocery Store getting extra supplies.
Yes, the Tendo house is completely empty except for Nabiki.
Unfortunately a squealing black piglet doesn't know just how little Nabiki actually cares for it's safety, and runs for the Tendo house (mostly through blind fear and dumb luck it makes the right turns and such) hoping to be rescued by it's loving mistress Akane.

The black pig burst through open doors of the Tendo home, squealing its head off and running for dear life.
Ryoga/P-Chan ran through the halls of the enormous house-for a pig it was gigantic-lost as usual. "Must find Akane's room!" he thought to himself.
Running very quickly and not stopping, Ryoga soon found a door! Oh happiness abounds! A door!
From not far away he heard barking. It was that evil dog! The horror this poor piglet had seen in the maw of that beast before he'd managed to get out by biting down on the dog's tongue. Ryoga had been minding his own business trying to figure out which way Akane's house was when a huge German Shepherd showed up. The dog had been friendly enough until some old lady splashed Ryoga with water, turning him into a small black pig. To the dog, that small black pig was a small black snack! But that was all a memory, Akane would protect him! Hurrah!
He slammed into the door, it was closed!
'Now that's the sort of thing a guy should notice sooner.' Ryoga thought.
As he wobbled around, he saw another door! This one was open! It was open just a crack, but that was enough! Safety! If his bad sense of direction counted for anything than surely THIS would be Akane's room since it was his second choice and the other would be the wrong room!
And so Ryoga soon found himself cornered in a broom closet.

Nabiki heard the insistent barking, and couldn't stand to hear anymore! She groaned and got out of bed. She opened her door (not the one Ryoga hit, that was Akane's door if you're curious) she saw a huge dog of unknown-actually she just didn't care-breed clawing at the closet.
"Hey! Who let you in here!?" She demanded, pointing an angry finger at the large dog.
Almost immediately a small black . . . thing . . . shot like a bullet from the closet and into her room. The dog turned on its heels and charged right after its prey.
"Nuh-ah! I know you didn't just run into *my* room!" Nabiki cried. She turned on her own heels and leapt towards the dog, utterly missing and landing on her face.
The dog was yipping its head off and Nabiki Tendo had heard just about enough of it. She got up, and grabbed the dog by the collar and pulled it out of her room, closing the door behind her. "Let some one else worry about that thing." She said to herself. "Just look at my room!" Her desk with it's organized papers and various books and moneymaking contracts was a wreck, and, though she'd done it herself in her rush to get up, the sheets on her bed were messy!
Nabiki sighed and shook her head. "Not much to do, but clean up." She went to work. Amazingly, the only thing on her desk not broken or messed up was a cup of hot chocolate at the edge, this amazed her.
But as she reached for a pile of papers, on top of which was an envelope with the latest pictures of Ranko (Female Ranma for those who don't know), which she was hoping to sell to Kuno tomorrow, she heard a shocked squeal, and then P-Chan appeared.
"What are you doing in here?" Nabiki asked the small black piglet. But P-Chan shot from under the pile of papers and ran off the side of the desk, taking the cup of hot chocolate with him!
Nabiki blinked for a moment, but when she opened her eyes there was no pig. There was instead a very naked Ryoga. All he was wearing was that ridiculous bandana of his!
"What exactly do you think you're doing in my room . . . undressed?" Nabiki asked with a sigh.
"I was eh . . . looking for Akane!"
Nabiki glared at him. "You're wondering around naked, looking for my little sister?" She shook her head. "Hold on just a minute okay?" She reached into her desk drawer, and pulled out a camera. She quickly snapped a few photos of Ryoga then skillfully removed the film and put the camera back into it's drawer. As she expected Ryoga lunged for the drawer and removed the camera.
"It didn't have any film." Nabiki lied. "I was just teasing you." She said innocently.
"I wasn't naked five minutes ago! It was that dog! That wicked dog!" Ryoga protested.
"Eh . . . yeah . . . y'know I wasn't going to care," Nabiki said, "but now I have to ask: Why is that dog the cause of your nudity?" She looked around the room. "And have you seen P-Chan?"
"Uh . . . those are both good questions, and I'm afraid I cant answer them, bye now!" Ryoga opened the door and tried to run off, but the dog began to bark, and Ryoga quickly came back in, closing the door behind him and muttering something about not ending up like Ranma.
Nabiki laughed at the poor kid, but slowly her laughter became sinister. "I can loan you some of my cloths . . . for the small price of 2000 yen!"
"I don't have any money with me!" Ryoga cried. "And I won't wear women's clothing!"
"Just the once eh?" Nabiki grinned.
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Ryoga argued.
"Sure you don't." Nabiki smiled. "Well I could get you some of Ranma's cloths, but that'll cost 4000 yen."
"How can you ask for money! Can't you do it as a favor?" Ryoga pleaded.
"Well then as a favor, I'll drop the price of Ranma's cloths to 3500 yen."
"Nothing that Ranma has worn or even touched is worth that much money!" Ryoga cried, a bit too dramatically.
"Then good luck with the Dalmatian." Nabiki said as she pushed Ryoga towards the door.
"No! No! No! I'll pay! I'll pay!" Ryoga cried.
"Heh. Alright then." Nabiki smiled sweetly. "Money first!"
"Thirty five?" Ryoga asked.
"I don't have that sort of cash!"
"Okay . . ." Nabiki sighed. "Thirty five."
Ryoga reached into his bandana and pulled out some money and handed it to Nabiki who pocketed it right away. Nabiki was about to bow, but thought better of it. She turned towards the door and walked out.

Ryoga felt extremely uncomfortable, being naked in a girl's room. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to feel uncomfortable about that . . . maybe it was this particular girl's room. But then again, he was relieved to know he'd at least made it to the right house. Surely it was a sign from god!
There was quite a bit of barking, then finally Nabiki came back, opening the door just enough to slide through quickly. She tossed Ryoga a pair of pants.
"Three thousand five hundred yen and I don't even get a shirt?" Ryoga said angrily.
"A guy with muscles like yours should show 'em off, don't you think? You really want a shirt?" Nabiki asked. "Another two thousand then."
"But I'm broke!" Ryoga cried.
"Well in that case, be grateful. Oh yeah, Akane isn't here, neither is Ranma, so on your way out, take your new pet with you. If it's eaten P-Chan and Akane finds out I'll never hear the end of it, I'll blame it on you."
"Uh . . ." Ryoga looked around at Nabiki's demolished room. "Do you need a hand cleaning up first?" After all, this was his doing . . . sorta.
"You're afraid of that dog!" Nabiki accused.
"Ah . . . no?" Ryoga said simply. 'I'm afraid of being outdoors if it rains and that dog is still following me!' he thought.

The German Shepherd was really bored. He paced back and forth, and growled. He knew that little pig was in there somewhere! He just had to get to it!

Nabiki smiled as she watched the shirtless Ryoga work to clean her room. She didn't really have much to clean, and Ryoga was pretty good at getting the job done.
And he was hot. Now that she thought about it, Ryoga really was the sweetest out of Ranma's little friends, he was polite, and honorable, and what's that word? Chivalrous?
Well, whatever. He was polite and honorable and that sort of thing. Nabiki wouldn't go so far as to say she liked him the best, but she did think he was sweet, and certainly his gulability made him much more fun than Ukyo, or Mousse. What with the way he chased Akane around like a sick puppy, but never actually worked up the guts to tell her how he felt. Nabiki suddenly thought of something wonderful!
Oh what a nice person she was! Maybe she had a shot at heaven after all! "Hey, Ryoga. You *like* Akane right?"
"What? I don't know what you're talking about." Ryoga said, dropping the stack of papers he'd picked up.
"No need to be shy about it, I'll keep your secret. In fact, I can help you win her heart."
"Really?" Ryoga asked with interest.
"Yep. But it'll cost you. How's 3000 yen sound to you?"
"I only have five hundred left." Ryoga said in disappointment.
Nabiki frowned. Five hundred was five hundred, and she was always interested in having a fatter pocket. "Five hundred eh? Well I'll help you out anyway, but your going to have to work off the debt." Nabiki flashed Ryoga a sweet smile. "It'll be hard work, but my little sister will be all yours you big hunk of man you."
Ryoga nodded vigorously. "Okay! Okay! It's a deal, what do I have to do? To win her heart I mean!"
Nabiki fished out a contract from the mess on the floor. She made a few adjustments to it, one of which was changing the name "Kuno" to "Ryoga" then presented it to Ryoga, she made sure to snatch it away before he had time to finish reading it. "Fork over the five, and sign the dotted line." She said calmly.
"Okay!" Ryoga said, he handed Nabiki the money, then signed. "So what do I have to do?"
"It's simple . . ." Nabiki said, but then she paused. What exactly should she tell him? For five hundred yen and manual labor he deserved at least a half truth, but she was feeling generous tonight. "Okay, first you have to write her a love letter, but sign it from Ranma, then when she tries to get all romantic with Ranma and he says he doesnt know what she's talking about it breaks her heart and you swoop in and pick up the pieces."
Ryoga was silent for a moment, then he frowned. "Is that it? Is that all? I have to make Ranma look bad and lie to Akane? I only like half of that plan!"
"I didn't say you'd like it, I said it'd work." Nabiki shrugged. "Now help me out, I think I see P-Chan under the bed." Nabiki reached under the bed for the small black thing. Ryoga lifted the bed off the ground all together and did it effortlessly. Nabiki was used to seeing such unintentional shows of strength from Ryoga, and she frowned when she saw her target was just a dirty shirt.
"I think P-Chan must have run outside." Ryoga said.
"What makes you say that?" Nabiki questioned.
Ryoga smiled wryly. "Because . . . uh . . . he isn't in here."
Nabiki nodded. "You're logic is so simple. Okay, . . ." she frowned and had a strange thought.
"Uh, say Ryoga, how exactly did you get into my room in the first place? And why were you naked?"
"I uh . . . I already told you, I was looking for Akane."
"Yes . . . I mean no! Oh!" Ryoga groaned. He sighed and shook his head. "The Uh . . . the dog jumped on me and tore my cloths off! Yeah!"
"Attempted rape by a dog eh?" Nabiki shook her head. "Funny stuff Ryoga-baby. Couldn't you just knock it off you? You lifted that bed easily."
"I uh . . . didn't want to hurt the poor thing?" Ryoga tried.
Nabiki grinned. "Really . . . well in that case," she said "Lets test that theory."
"Huh?" Ryoga asked, but Nabiki opened the door and strolled leisurely out.
Nabiki closed the door behind her. The large dog came up to her and licked her hand. "That's no good, you're not so fierce after all, are you?" She shook her head. "Well, roll over." The dog did so. "Beg." The dog complied. "Now, let's try . . . speak!"
There was barking, and yelping and all sorts of funny noises. Ryoga lamented letting Nabiki venture out alone, for whatever strange reason she had. He paced for a mere two seconds before dashing for the door. 'A brave girl, foolish though she may be, I have to save her!' He thought.
Ryoga broke the door into splinters as he crashed through it, the dog immediately turned on him and growled, then looked at him confused and sat, playfully barking.
"Mad dog! He's rabid" Nabiki mocked.
"Uh . . . he'll turn on you at any given moment!" Ryoga tried. He wasn't sure why Nabiki wasn't bloody and in pieces on the floor.
She gave him an appraising look, as if she were trying to figure something out. Did she suspect something? Well Ryoga had to grant he'd be pretty curious too if she had ended up in his room naked with a German Shepherd on the other side of his door. He might not actually *mind* if she ended up naked in his room, but he'd definitely be curious.
Nabiki shook her head. "Just look at my door Ryoga. Look at it!"
"Uh . . . well if I had any money left I'd fix it." Ryoga said helplessly.
Nabiki grinned and patted him gently on the shoulder. "No worries Ryoga-baby. Remember that 'working off the debt' I spoke of? Consider fixing the door your first odd job."
"Oh happiness abounds." Ryoga sighed. 'At least that dog isn't chasing me now.' He thought to himself. 'What a nice doggy he is, now that I think about it, who wouldn't want to chase P-Chan, after all I'm so cute in my piglet form!'
Nabiki walked off for the kitchen, "I'm off for a mid-night snack. I want to see at least *some* progress when I get back."
Ryoga looked at the dog. "What a love-hate relationship we've worked up. When I'm human you can't stop licking my hand, when I transform you want me dead. Kind of like Ranma and Shampoo I guess." He frowned. "Hey, Nabiki? Did you say something?" She didn't answer, she was gone. "Now's my chance! My chance to escape before Nabiki Tendo learns to much and tells Akane!"
The dog barked in agreement. But Ryoga frowned when he looked at the smashed door.
It, like Nabiki's room was sort of his fault. He couldn't just run off, especially after she went and gave him that plan for winning Akane's heart. After all, from what he'd learned of Nabiki through observation thus far, Ryoga knew her plans never backfired, and since this was her plan, surely it wouldn't backfire!
"Well, I guess I should clean up this door, and *then* escape. I don't have any tools though . . ."
The dog barked again in agreement, for indeed he Ryoga had no tools.

Nabiki paced back and forth in the kitchen as she waited for the water to warm for her hot chocolate. She was very curious now, how had Ryoga gotten into her room? Sure he was a martial arts master and all, but Nabiki was certain he couldn't have gotten there without her noticing, she knew a thing or two about martial arts herself, it's hard to grow up in the Tendo family and not learn *something*.
And where was P-Chan? She didn't really care too much about Akane's pig, but something told her P-Chan's disappearance and Ryoga's appearing out of thin air were connected. Then it struck her.
P-Chan had knocked over her hot chocolate, and then disappeared to be replaced by Ryoga! If Ranma and his dad changed when hit with water then maybe, just maybe Ryoga . . .
No. No, the theory needed testing first. But if she was right . . . oh the power she would have over that boy! She poured a glass of cold water. She'd walk out there, and trip and splash him with water! "A crude but efficient plan." She said to herself.

Ryoga had found some tools and equipment, but repairing the door didn't come easy. It was a pile of splinters mostly.
Nabiki returned and smiled. "Working hard boys?" She asked. The dog barked in response.
Nabiki held two things in her hands. One was a clear glass of water, the other was a mug of some steamy substance. Ryoga paid little attention as he worked to get a splinter out of his hand.
As Nabiki walked towards him, she said "I got you a nice cold glass of water Ryoga, I'm sure you'll have my door fixed in-oops!" She tripped, poor clumsy girl. Ryoga moved quickly and caught her in his arms before she could land on the pile of splinters.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yes." Nabiki said. "Thanks." She added as she splashed the glass of water in his face.

Nabiki fell and hit her head, luckily she landed on something soft. P-Chan!
"I knew it! Or, at least I thought so!" Nabiki cried in triumph. The dog went nuts, and started barking. Nabiki grabbed the squealing piglet and raised it into the air. "Down boy!" She commanded the dog, which obediently sat, but continued it's barking.
"You never shut up, huh?" Nabiki sighed. She grinned, and turned her attention to P-Chan. She wasn't sure if it was really possible for a piglet to look angry beyond comprehension, but P-Chan certainly pulled it off. She gently splashed some of her hot chocolate on P-Chan's head. The angry pig became an angry boy and was suddenly too large for Nabiki to hold, and she dropped him . . . right in front of the dog.
The dog lunged for Ryoga, but stopped, looked at him, then shook itself. It barked one last time, as if to say "You humans are too strange for me" then turned and walked towards the door. Nabiki tossed Ryoga the pair of pants she had "borrowed" from Ranma, and followed the dog, closing the doors to the Tendo house securely behind it.
She returned to Ryoga, who was sitting, looking at the floor dejectedly. "So you've finally figured it out." He said. "I guess now you'll tell Akane."
"Why would I do that?" Nabiki asked with a smile. "It's useful information, yes, but hardly the sort of thing Akane would need to know. And if she doesn't ask, I won't tell."
Ryoga looked up at her with stars in his eyes. "You won't tell? Really? You are a queen among women-second only to Akane herself! You are a saint in wolf's clothing!"
"Oh shut up." Nabiki growled. "I didn't say you were off the hook." She laughed wickedly. "Just because I'm not going to tell Akane, doesn't mean I approve of you pretending to be her pet. Oh no Ryoga-baby you have some explaining to do."

To be continued . . .

Next Chapter . . .
"Here they come. Go on, issue your challenge to Ranma, and no funny business." Nabiki said as she stood leaning against the wall next to Ryoga.
Ryoga nodded. "Okay, but what do you mean by 'Funny Business'?" He asked.
"Just do it." Nabiki said quietly. "Or do you want Kuno to beat you to it?" Nabiki asked, pointing to Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno who was already running towards Ranma.
"I wouldn't be opposed to him softening up Ranma for me." Ryoga said. Nabiki glared at him, and he bowed slightly. "But then what fun would that be? Okay, I'm off." He said.
Nabiki waited a few moments for Ryoga to cut off Kuno, and then challenge Ranma.
"I, Ryoga Hibiki challenge you, Ranma Saotome!"