Disclaimer: If there is anything I have forgotten to disclaim, let it be known here and now, that at the least I do not own Ranma 1/2, I do not own the cartoon movie Charlotte's Web, with the pig and the talking spider. I don't own Exo-Squad, Wing Commander Academy-TV, Samurai Pizza Cats, Dragon Ball Z, or Sailor Moon. I know there is a game called Pirate's Moon, but Nabiki's reference to "Pirate Moon" is his chapter is meant as a reference to Sailor Moon, and I don't own either one. I don't own Narnia. I don't own The Sixth Sense or Star Wars. I do not own Tenchi from Tenchi (any variant) or Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star either. I don't own Invader Zim.

A/N: And here it is, the chapter you almost didn't get to read. It was only half done when the fic was taken down, so I had to come back in and redo some things, there might be mistakes, yes I proofread it, that doesn't mean I'm perfect (I just try to get people to think that I am) however I do plan to revise this chapter later.
But you, readers . . .
1: Write Ryoga/Nabiki fictions! We can and will overthrow the world . . . I think . . . If you do write a Ryoga/Nabiki story, e-mail me or something, and I'll review it, and praise you (unless you really suck)
2: Remember, GrimmZ conventions, be there. Ten years or so . . .
3: Not everyone's cup of tea . . . but . . . Invader Zim rocks!!

Charlotte's Web
Chapter 30 (Deluxe)
The End of this Web (Lemon)

There is a beginning and ending to every story. You've seen it's beginning, now it all ends! The final episode of "Weeks of our Lives" will air tomorrow at noon!
"God no!" Kasumi moaned.
"The end of the adventures of Gray the womanizer?" Soun yawned. "Oh, what a shame." he said sarcastically.

Nabiki pinched Ryoga's shoulder, "Did you forget something? Something you said you would do with me?"
"What? You mean the sex I promised you?"
"Yeah, that's it."
"Mother just gave us permission to marry, then she gave us instructions to go and do something together with our cloths on."
"Well we can have sex with our cloths on Ryoga." Nabiki informed him. "It isnt quite as much fun, and I'd have to change into a skirt . . . do those unzip?"
"No." Ryoga said. Actually he couldnt remember. Guys don't remember the real details about their clothing, the ones that do are secretly women. Be warned.
Nabiki sighed. "Tomorrow I'm going shopping with your mother. You're coming too." she said.
"I am?"
"Yes." Nabiki nodded.
"But why?" Ryoga asked, scratching his head. "I hate shopping."
"No you don't!"
"Yes I do."
"No you don't!" Nabiki waved her hand in front of his face.
"Well I guess it isn't so bad." Ryoga admitted, though he wasn't sure why he'd just changed his mind.
"You're a duck!" Nabiki informed him.
"What is it with you and–QUACK!" Ryoga blurted the last part out.
"Wow! I really do have powers!" Nabiki chuckled. Then frowned. "Of course this just means you're weak minded, honey."
"It does?" Ryoga blinked.
"Uh-huh. Mind Tricks only work on the weak minded. Like you, Ranma, Akane and of course Kuno."
"I guess . . ." Ryoga scratched his head again. He wasn't so sure, but then Nabiki had just made him quack. Then again, she made him do a lot of things.
"Do you want to see if Harume is weak minded?" Nabiki asked. Ryoga frowned.
Weak minded or not he was flooded with ideas. They could use Nabiki's unexplainable power to convince Harume that Ryoga and Yoshimi would be a terrible match, convince the old coot to arrange Yoshimi's marriage to some other poor son of a gun.
"We can go and convince that old jerk to give us all his money, then your mother wont be able to complain about my financial situation!" Nabiki laughed wickedly.
"Not quite what I had in mind . . ." Ryoga said.
"Oh? And what is your plan, weak minded slave?" The middle Tendo scoffed.
"Well I thought we'd use your power to convince him to marry Yoshimi off to someone else, that done, with you the only alternative we could get married and there is nothing mother could do to stop us." Ryoga said.
Nabiki blinked. "That's almost as good as my plan. Oh wait, Ryoga! I've just had the greatest plan! We're going to use my new unexplainable power to convince Harume to wed his daughter off to some other poor slob, leaving you completely free! That would make me your only fiancee, and whether your mother liked it or not I'd be the only woman for you to marry!"
"But that was my plan!" Ryoga protested.
"No it wasn't." Nabiki waved her hand.
"What wasn't?" Ryoga asked.
"Nothing sweet heart!" Nabiki smiled. "Let's go see our friend, Harume!"
"He isn't our friend!" Ryoga scowled. He felt a little confused. So confused that he was having flashbacks of all the television shows he'd ever seen as a child. He'd watched Techno Squad, Wing Captain Academy, Dragoon Balls X, and Samurai Spaghetti Cats mostly . . . he now pitied himself. And he pittied the cats, their show was so badly animated that no adult would watch it, and filled with so many sex jokes that no kid would understand it.
"What the heck was Payment supposed to be?" He blurted suddenly.
Nabiki blinked. "Payment of what?"
"From Wing Captain Academy, the animated series. There was the one female cadet with a split personality named Payment, she had green skin and purple hair . . . was she some sort of alien?" Ryoga asked.
"I guess." Nabiki frowned. Ryoga decided her apparent lack of interest meant he should continue.
"No one seemed bothered by the fact that she had green skin, one guy kept hitting on her and everything! The main character seemed to have a thing for her too on a couple occasions."
"Why the heck was she called Payment? Was she some sort of hooker or something?"
"I cant quite remember, I think her family had commited suicide because of their bad taxes . . ." Ryoga said.
Nabiki shrugged. "I spent all my time watching Pirate Moon. Don't ever talk to me about your dumb, boy shows. Now, if you don't mind we–"
"Nope. I don't mind."
"That's good, because we–"
"But I'm going to be wondering about this all night." Ryoga observed.
"Uh . . . okay, that's fair, just don't say anything out loud . . ."
"I promise." Ryoga said.
"Promise you will, or you promise you wont?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
"Let's leave it open." Ryoga said. Nabiki slapped her forehead.
"Lets just go manipulte Harume." She said at last.

However Kotaro Harume had company manipulating him already.
"Don't you see? Ryoga is my life, my love, my soul!" Akari said, sitting in the dojo with the old man. "And if I don't marry him, and bare him a son, I will be forced by the gods themelves to eat my giant pig–eh . . . my giant frog." She pointed to Katsunishiki, who was dressed in a frog costume.
A really, really big frog costume.
"As delicious as frog legs are, I can see your plight young lady." Harume nodded. "However, if my daughter does not marry Ryoga Hibiki, who will she marry?"
"The boy, Ranma Saotome is available, and also much sought after by the women of this town."
"Oh no you don't!" Ranma shouted from the other room. "I don't need another one!"
"Wow! That's neat, I wonder how he did that!" Harume said.
"Does it matter?" Akari scowled. "I have a proposition for you. Allow me to spend one night in Ryoga's bed, that at least I might bare his son so I wont have to eat my pig–er frog?"
"Yes . . . I mean NO! That's got 'Talk Show' written all over it!

"Welcome back to our show, today's topic: I wont share my man or his seed, so step the (beep) off, you (beep), has risen quite a comotion. We've heard the stories of Tenchi, Gene Starwind, and Tuxedo Mask, three men who for one reason or another are just too (beep)ing sexy." The hostess said. "Now we introduce our next guest, Ryoga Hibiki." The crowd goes wild . . . nothing happens.
"We introduce, Ryoga Hibiki!" The hostess shouts again.
Nothing happens.
"Security? Where is our next guest?" The hostess listens to her earpiece. "Why is he in a closet? Oh forget it, I don't care, just bring him to me, we're rolling!"
Two really large men drag Ryoga out and throw him on stage. "Thanks!" Ryoga shouts.
"Now Ryoga, according to this here you have a wife, Yoshimi, and a mistress, Akari? Yoshimi is pregnant, Akari has already had a child. Oh, and she's pregnant with another?"
"Yes. I also have a mistress named Nabiki, but she hasn't gotten pregnant yet." Ryoga said. "She uses 'The Pill' to avoid responsibility, or so she says, I think she's cheating on me because her six room mates are all guys, and they've only got one bed."
"Right . . . well, we've got a surprise for you Ryoga!"
"Really? Is it a puppy?!"
"Uh . . . no . . . we have Akari and Yoshimi back stage!"
"Oh. Well that isnt a surprise, I knew they were back there, there's only one lounge room back stage."
"Uh . . . okay . . ."

Harume chuckled to himself, what a funny thing he was thinking. Then he blinked and when he opened his eyes Ryoga was sitting in front of him. "Oh! Hello son!"
"Please don't ever call me that!" Ryoga said.
"Master Harume," Nabiki said, "I come to you with a proposition."
"Great, I love it when women call me 'master'." He chuckled.
"Uh . . . okay. Well anyway, if you cancel Yoshimi's marriage to Ryoga, I will give you . . . a . . ." she paused so dramatically that Harume could have swore he heard a drum roll. "Cookie!" she waved her hand and for the strangest reason her logic suddenly made perfect sense!
"Chocolate Chip or Oatmeal Raisin?" Harume demanded.
"It doesn't matter!" Nabiki waved her hand again.
"You're right! Done deal! No husband for Yoshimi, she can die alone!" Harume gobbled down the cookie, he could have swore he tasted cheddar powder and onions.
"What the heck?" Akari cried. "No! No you cant do that!"
"You've just realized that you're in love with . . . lets see . . . Kinnosuke!" Nabiki waved her hand towards Akari.
"I love Kinnosuke!" Akari whined. "My loins burn with desire for him, my body trembles and my legs go weak at the mere mention of his name! My heart throbs in my chest and--"
"Don't overdo it." Nabiki laughed.
Harume scratched his head. "Why did she change her mind like that? Now she has to eat her frog!"
"For Kinnosuke, I will eat my Katsunishiki!" Akari cried. The frog's eyes went wide!
"No, that wont be necessary." Nabiki said.
"That wont be necessary . . ." Akari nodded.
"So long as you realize you love Kinnosuke, the love gods are appeased. But if you are ever disloyal to him, you must eat Katsunishiki."
"I love Kinnosuke . . ." Akari droned.
"Go to him . . ." Nabiki said with a wave of her hand.
"But I don't know who he is . . ." Akari said, she spoke like she was in a trance.
"Let fate guide you . . ." Nabiki said, sounding a little irritated.
"Guide me fate!" Akari cried, running out of the dojo.
Harume blinked. "Wow!" He said. "I don't know what you just did to her, but whatever it is you're going to have to teach me for my next party!"
"Your first lesson is fourteen thousand yen."
"Fourteen thousand!" Harume cried. "That cheap? What's the catch?"
"Uh . . . the catch is that you pay up front. No checks." Nabiki Tendo said.
"Very well!" Harume supplied cash.
"Well . . . your first and only lesson . . . my power is not something that can be taught."
"That's a rip off!"
"No it isnt." Nabiki waved her hand.
"It isnt . . ." Harume nodded.
"Nabiki, that wasn't fair, give him his money back!" Ryoga said sternly.
"But I don't want to . . ." Nabiki frowned.
"Ask yourself Nabiki . . . is that how you want to make money?"
"Well yeah." Nabiki shrugged. She frowned and glared at Harume. "But since you're like my boyfriend or something I guess I can let you have your way some of the time, you jerk!" She gave his money back, and the old man just scratched his head in confusion. She turned to Ryoga. "You better make that up to me." She warned.
"Relax, I know just how do to it." Ryoga shrugged.
"Really?" Nabiki almost purred, Harume's interest was sparked.
"Yeah . . . we can go make fun of Ranma!"
"But . . . but that's something I only enjoy if I'm in the mood for it! I'm in the mood for the *other* Great American pass time!" Nabiki complained.
"You're not American." Ryoga noted.
They left and Harume frowned.
She'd scrambled his head! He couldn't think of what would happen next!

"Well . . ." Kasumi said after mister Harume had told her the whole story, "it is very simple, you see . . . "

"Lets bring out the mistress, Akari!" The hostess (who now looked like Kasumi) said.
Out came Akari. She held in her arms, a miniature version of Ryoga, fangs and all.
"So, tell us your story, young lady!" Kasumi-Hostess said.
"Well I just wanted to bare his son! Because I'm that sort of freak. I wanted to detract from the happiness he might have had with Nabiki Tendo, and always traveled around with a giant sumo-pig that left pig-pies in the lawn that could–and on one occasion, did–choke a donkey!" Akari said.
"Right." Kasumi-hostess said. "How do you feel about Yoshimi?"
"That woman had best not touch my man!"
"I love being treated like an inanimate object." Ryoga said sarcastically.
"You realize that she is his wife, whereas you are just some coot that bore him a son." Kasumi-Hostess noted.
"What's your point?" Akari demanded.
"I don't have one. Well, lets take a commercial break, and then bring out Yoshimi!" Kasumi-hostess said. The cameras cut, she rushed over to Ryoga, got on his lap and started kissing him over and over again and trying to rip his shirt off. He looked surprised but didn't really argue much.

"Where did that come from?" Harume blinked.
"I . . . don't know!" Kasumi admitted.
"You're bad at this! I'm going to go ask some one else!" Harume scoffed.

Meanwhile Nabiki and Ryoga were trying to get through a game of cards without having sex.
Well, at least Nabiki was trying to get through the game without having sex. Ryoga didn't seem to have a problem.
"Do you have any eights?" Nabiki said, waving her hand.
"No. You know you don't need to use that on me." Ryoga said. "I'm not going to cheat. Any threes?"
"No." Nabiki said, moving her three behind her five just in case he got a glimpse of her hand. "Anyway I have to use it, just in case."
"Oh?" Cologne asked.
"You just come out of the wood work, don't you?" Nabiki snarled at the old lady. Her sex life, or lack thereof was making her grumpy.
"I have been observing you. You seem to have some sort of power . . ." Cologne said. "It intrigues me, I want to know more."
"You will go away." Nabiki waved her hand.
"Aha! Mind tricks only work on the weak minded." Cologne chuckled. "But I know enough about your skill to perform my research, thank you." She hobbled away.
"You're a cow!" Nabiki waved her hand.
"Moo." Cologne chuckled. Nabiki wasn't sure if the old lady had truely fallen under her spell, or just humored her.
"That's it! I've had it! We're doing it right now!" Nabiki announced.
"Hmm?" Ryoga looked up from the "pond" "You cant rush this sort of thing. I have to find the right card . . . the perfect card . . ." he grumbled.
"Forget your cards!" Nabiki cried, Ryoga put up a finger.
"Shh! I have it!" He drew. "Aww! An eight? Curses!"
"Got any eights?" Nabiki asked lamely.
"How'd you know?" Ryoga frowned, giving her the eight.

"I can see your problem." Ranma told Harume simply. "Kasumi got it all wrong. It'd go more like this . . ."

The commercial break ended, and the hostess–who now looked like Ranko–peeled herself off of Ryoga as an enraged Yoshimi came onto the set with a paper bag over her head and a voice disguising thingy.
"You (beep)ing skank! Get off my (beep)ing husband!"
"Miss, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Ranko-Hostess said, buttoning her shirt up. "And please do not swear so much, that is a different show."
"My (beep)ing (beep) it is!" Akari cried. "You cant just be (beep)ing with our man like that!"
"Our man? You shut your skanky noise hole you (beep)!" Yoshimi screamed at Akari.
"You shut yours! You're a just a rich (beep) who (beep)ed her way though life, Ryoga doesn't (beep)ing need you, you (beep)ing (beep)!" Akari cried.
"Step off (beep)!" Yoshimi cried.
"Why don't you (beep)ing make me you (beep)ing commoner?" Yoshimi cried.
Yoshimi grabbed a chair and whacked Akari with it.
Akari grabbed her kid and whacked Yoshimi with it.
The crowd started chanting, "Ran-ko! Ran-ko! Ran-ko! Ran-ko!"
Ranko-Hostess pressed a button and a dozen show girls came on stage and started dancing. An elephant came out next and stood on it's hind legs while a monkey conducted a flea circus, and the crowd cheered and chanted "RAN-KO! RAN-KO! RAN-KO! RAN-KO!"

"Uh . . . why would that happen?" Harume asked.
"Ran-ko . . . Ran-ko . . . Ran-ko . . . huh? Oh . . . I don't know, I guess I got carried away there." Ranma admitted.
"You are such an amateur!" Akane cried. "It's so stupid your way! The hostess having sex with Ryoga, Yoshimi and Akari fighting and swearing, that's just dumb!"
"The hostess kissing Ryoga was Kasumi's doing. You think you can do better?" Harume was really confused now.
"Yeah, I do!" Akane said. "Ranma is just pulling your leg, even he's smart enough to know it'd go like this . . ."

In the blink of an eye the crowd settled down, the elephant, monkey and show girls were escorted back stage where they would have an after-show-party that Akane-hostess would join later.
She smiled at her crowd, the crowd smiled back, Yoshimi (Now her face was blurred to protect her identity) and Akari suddenly stopped fighting and sat down together and talked their differences out like civilized people, and Akane's co-host, a lioness with a microphone attached to her head, answered questions from the audience–

"That one is just stupid!" Harume cried.
"A lion?" Ranma blinked.
"It wasn't stupid!" Akane pouted.
"Amateur." Lo-Chun sighed. "THIS is how it would go . . ."

Yoshimi (who now looked like the grim reaper) and Akari suddenly started fighting again, this time they used burning sticks.
The lion leapt into the crowd and started killing people.
The show girls used the cameras to broadcast their foxy mud-pit wrestling, effectively taking the show off the air.
And the ceiling exploded and Mercedes and Kasumi came down in a helicopter, Ryoga and Lo-Chun-Hostess jumped on and after dropping bombs in the studio the chopper lifted off and Kasumi pressed the detonation button, causing a blast so powerful that Akari and Yoshimi and even the fantasy ceased to exist.

"And they lived happily ever after." Lo-Chun smiled.
"Aww, you ruined it." Ranma frowned.
"Why would my lion attack the audience? She's trained, I raised her from a cub!" Akane pouted.
"Why did Kasumi have to show up in a helicopter with bombs?" Harume questioned.
Lo-Chun was silent for a moment. Then she said, "You know what? You all lack vision! You lack depth, you're all a bunch of fools and–MY COOKIES ARE BURNING!" Lo-Chun ran off to tend to her cookies.
"Poor girl." Ranma frowned.
"If she only had a brain . . ." Akane sighed.
"What the heck is 'depth'?" Harume asked.

Ryoga watched Nabiki closely. He was a little confused. He wanted her, he really wanted her. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, but their parents were home, he didn't want to screw everything up.
He was also a little nervous. She'd just been lying the first time, but what if she really got pregnant?
After all, Ryoga had this strange suspicion that mother nature didn't introduce mankind to sex just so they could relieve stress and feel really good, there was a catch, it was designed to continue the species.
That if felt so good had resulted in mankind overrunning the world and slowly killing mother nature.
Ryoga decided she must be feeling pretty stupid by now.
Of course all that had nothing to do with his current situation. Nabiki was just an arm's length away from him, still that was too far. He wanted her *in* his arms, he wanted to hold her close.
Of course, he'd probably just end up hurting her again, like their first night, granted it had been unavoidable.
"Curse it!" He growled to himself.
"Curse what?" Nabiki yawned.
"Nothing, thinking out loud I guess."
Nabiki nodded. Ryoga sighed. He watched her, and decided he should probably leave before he got too . . . affectionate.
"Ryoga . . ."
"I'm tired . . . would you like to just spend the night in here?"
'She's psychic!' Ryoga thought. "I shouldn't." He said casually.
"That's true . . . but would you like to?" She asked mischievously.
"More than anything else." Ryoga said weakly.
Nabiki smiled at him. "So?" she asked.
Ryoga smiled weakly, and leaned forward, kissing her, Nabiki leaned forward too, pushing Ryoga onto his back, he stopped her, keeping straight up, he looked into her eyes. "Nabiki . . ." he whispered.
"People will hear us."
"That can't be helped." Nabiki said simply.
Ryoga held her close. "Maybe we should wait . . ."
"We've waited long enough."
"I mean until everyone else is asleep."
"If you think that will work." Nabiki shrugged.
"Are you sure you're up to it?"
Nabiki gave him a look that would kill a normal man. "Excuse me?"
"Well I mean . . . y'know . . ."
"No I don't. What do you mean, Ryoga?" Nabiki demanded.
Ryoga gulped. "Well I eh . . . didn't it hurt last time?"
"Aha! I knew that was why you weren't putting out!" Nabiki cried triumphantly.
"It was not!" Ryoga said defensively. "Anyway, didn't it?"
"A bit." Nabiki admitted. "Well . . . quite a bit. But I still want to do it."
"Aren't you worried I'll think you're easy?" Ryoga asked.
"Everyone thinks I'm easy. You know better."
Ryoga shrugged. "You waited seventeen years to get laid . . . why me?"
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Why'd you decide you wanted to sleep with me your first time?"
"Y'know virginity isnt some precious treasure okay? Guy's try to loose it as quickly as possible, why should a girl be any different besides the fact that we've got class? A girl's first time isnt so magical and majestic and special as people seem to believe. Before you I'd just never found a guy I wanted bad enough before, sex always seemed like an unnecessary distraction, something people who weren't busy with plans of world conquest might mess around with. Then I met you . . ." Ryoga noticed Nabiki trail off as if she were thinking of something else, then she started playing with one of her cards. She coughed into her fist and continued, "I was already plenty distracted by you . . . because I really liked you, I realized I wanted you so what the heck? I slept with you. Not a big deal, y'know?"
Ryoga gulped. "It was to me." He said.
She blushed. "We're together okay? We just did what people who are together do. Now we're engaged, we should be doing it even more often."
Ryoga shook his head slowly, "I hurt you, I don't want to do it again."
"You're such a sweetie when you're being stupid. Don't worry about hurting me, because it's simple; you wont." Nabiki said softly. "It only hurts the first time."
"How do you know?"
"Don't tell me you think all my friends are virgins." Nabiki grinned.
"You talk about that sort of thing?"
"Oh yeah." Nabiki nodded. "Incidentally I've considered renting you out to Aki so I can fool around with Kai."
"I don't even know who they are, already I hate the idea." Ryoga scoffed.
"I'm just kidding." Nabiki smiled. "So . . . we cool?" She asked.
"You going to fake pregnancy again?" Ryoga scoffed again.
"You can believe, honey, if I say I'm pregnant this time around, I mean it." Nabiki said simply. "So can we? Please?" She pleaded.
"Just one question . . ." Ryoga said softly.
"Ask your question, and if I have the answer we'll trade." Nabiki said.
"Did you really watch porn with Kasumi?" He knew the answer might well give him a bloody nose, but still he had to ask.
Ryoga forced the surprisingly boring image out of his mind before it became less boring like the last time. "Learn anything?" He tried to ask casually.
"Loads." She said simply.
"I was afraid of that." he grinned.
Nabiki grinned wickedly. "What's wrong? Don't you like learning new things, Ryoga-baby?"
"Oh sure . . . I guess . . ."
"Ever hear of 69?"
"Sixty nine what?" Ryoga blinked.
Nabiki laughed sinisterly. "Let me show you." She purred.
"What if someone finds us?" Ryoga asked.
"I use my powers to make them forget they've seen anything." Nabiki said simply.
Ryoga had to admit, that was a good plan. He looked at the attractive young woman, and surrendered to her will.

Kasumi frowned. "You know, I have the strangest urge to go visit Nabiki." She said.
"Nonsense." Lotion said, passing the older woman a marshmallow. They had finally set up a well controlled bonfire in the dojo, Lotion's insistent whining had persuaded Soun, who had nothing better to do. "Make silence now! Continue the story grandpa."
"I'm not grandpa!" Soun cried. "Anyway it's said her soul still haunts that marsh and she decapitates any young lovers she finds–"
"If she was stabbed through the heart why does she decapitate people?" Lotion demanded. Kasumi had the strangest feeling that she'd heard this story by a camp fire before.
"I really do think some one should check on Nabiki . . . or Ryoga." Kasumi said.
"No point, they're engaged. They'll just do what fiancees do. What I wish Ranma and Akane would do."
"For that matter, why isnt anyone watching Ranma and Akane?"
"There really *is* no point to that one." Soun scowled.
"One never knows!" Kasumi cried.
Soun sighed. "Kasumi, you need to get laid."
"Father!" Kasumi cried.
"What? It's true. What ever happened to Dr. Tofu?"
"I'm not sure . . ." Kasumi admitted. "I haven't seen him."
"What a shame." Soun sighed.
Ryoga moved his hand over Nabiki's thigh, his lips on her neck, he felt her chest rise and fall as she breathed, she trembled slightly, he felt like his own heart had made plans to escape his chest and now it was making it's attempt.
He moved his face close to hers, looking into her half closed eyes, he wanted to just look into her seductive eyes forever, she was so perfect. He kissed her on the lips, she forced her tongue into his mouth, he didn't fight back but he still wasn't used to that sort of thing.
She spread her legs painfully slowly, Ryoga wondered if she'd forgotten which one of them had begged for this, now she was torturing him? Or was this supposed to be some sort of payback for not sleeping with her all this time?
He decided he'd help her part her legs, and so he fell into her trap. Nabiki shoved him downward, and wrapped her legs around his neck. "Go on then!" She whispered eagerly.
"Go on and what?" Ryoga blinked.
"You know what I want."
"I really don't." Ryoga whispered.
"Lick me you idiot!" Nabiki whispered back sharply.
Ryoga looked up at her in confusion, she sighed. "C'mon baby, no one's *that* innocent, you must know what I mean!" Nabiki pleaded.
Ryoga was enjoying this. He didn't know what she meant, but he had a general idea. He looked at his target, her . . . well he wasn't sure what to call it, the text books hadn't really described this, and those pages with illustrations were always mysteriously covered in blood.
Nabiki's room was dimly lit, still Ryoga was confident that he could see every detail.
'Wow!' he thought. 'Seeing detail in low light? Either I'm an elf, or I'm a pervert . . . hmm . . . I must be a pervert! That's not good. Good thing we're getting married.' He decided. He moved close to her . . . y'know, and closed his eyes, sticking his tongue out, he slowly moved it over her opening, he heard her sharp intake of breath, he grinned wickedly.
Now he was in control, at least in a way, he could stop at any time, make her suffer! He tasted her warm flesh, put his lips to these lips he hadnt kissed before, on a girl he'd kissed rather often. She began to moan, he looked up at her, she covered her mouth with both hands and giggled, he shook his head.
"You're supposed to be quiet." He mock scolded the older girl.
"Sorry, I just thought I'd give you some encouragement."
"We'll be plenty encouraged when your father comes in here and breaks my neck." Ryoga said.
"Okay. I'll be quieter, I promise." Nabiki said, for the strangest reason, he didnt believe her. He crawled up to looked at her face to face, she gave him a look that could kill. "Get back down there servant!" She scoffed.
"No, I think we'll just get this over with the old fashioned way." Ryoga said.
Nabiki was blushing, though it was hard to tell in the dim light, he was certain she was blushing. He moved close and pressed his lips to hers, she kissed back, he could tell she was about to french him.
Ryoga decided to beat her to the punch, moving his tongue into her mouth before she could force hers into his.
She squirmed and seperated from him. She shook her head. "Okay, okay, that's no fun."
"You're kidding! I finally realize why you keep doing it!" Ryoga lied.
"Don't tease me you jerk," she warned, "or I'll close me legs and scream rape."
"Who'd believe—never mind." Ryoga grinned, knowing that regardless of the circumstances the only person who wouldn't kill him if they were caught would be Akane, and that'd be because she'd be asking them how it was, the fate worse than death.
He kissed her again, and moved his hand over her breast, his thumb in turn going over her hard nipple, she moaned softly, he decided there was no shutting this girl up, she was trying to get him killed, so he spread her legs a little wider instead. He'd just have to finish her off quickly.
He eased his hardened member into her body, he kissed her to silence any moans, it didnt work quite the way he'd planned.
She kissed back, breaking away every now and then, gasping, he began to thrust into her, she was warm, and tight and wet, just like last time. He moved up and down inside her, she wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him, he groaned and felt as if nothing could possibly be better than this.
She arched her back, and cried out, Ryoga's heart stopped, her tunnel contracted, squeezing him tight, she almost screamed when she climaxed, her warm nectar flowed out of her and onto him, he moved more rapidly, giving up on trying to silence her with kisses since he suspected it was all futile now.
But who wants to live forever? If her father, or his mother barged in now he'd die a happy man.
He kept thrusting until he found a rhythm, Nabiki seemed done for a moment, then she decided to match his rhythm, she was still moaning.
Her moans were really cute, Ryoga was fairly sure a guy shouldn't be thinking that about his girlfriend's moans. The sort of guys that did had serious problems. But then here he was, nearly seventeen having no sense of direction to speak of, involved with a woman who got her kicks blackmailing her closest friends and relatives, being a pervert was nothing compared to this.
He closed his eyes tight and felt his own climax coming, but this time he pulled away from her surprisingly tight grasp, and let his seed spill onto her stomach, and chest. His arms were weak, he collapsed onto her, she grunted and pushed him off. Then she lied down on top of him. "Why'd you pull out?" She whispered.
"One tends to do that when he's trying to avoid impregnating his girlfriend." Ryoga sighed.
"Yeah, I guess." Nabiki scoffed. "Feels half done. It's no good, we're going to have to start over again."
"You're going to kill me." Ryoga scoffed.
"If you can survive being hit with giant boulders, and being hit with Ukyo's spatula, a second go in the sack should be nothing." Nabiki grinned.
"How about tomorrow morning?" He asked.
"Hah! I know it'll be weeks before you do me again." Nabiki scoffed.
"Hmm . . . you're right . . . well . . . oh well. G'night." Ryoga yawned, and closed his eyes. Nabiki held him close–due to the size of the bed, they had little other choice–and kissed him lightly on the lips.
"Umm . . . Ryoga?"
"I love you." Nabiki cooed.
"I love you too." Ryoga said. She held him tighter, he added, "I'm still not going a second time."
"Damn it!" she laughed.

The next morning . . .
Everyone was sitting at the breakfast table, Nabiki was laying on it.
"Good morning everyone!" Soun said cheerfully as he came out of the washroom–without Nodoka–and got mauled by Panda-Genma anyway.
Kasumi smiled weakly at her father. "Well father, I've made your favorite breakfast!" She said, offering him his seat.
"Th-thank you Kasumi." Soun took the offered seat. "I don't suppose you could sew my ear lobe back on after breakfast, could you?"
"I can try." Kasumi frowned.
Harume scratched his chin. "You know," he said, "I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that I agreed to cancel Yoshimi's engagement to Ryoga for a cookie."
"That is a strange dream." Ryoga' mother said coldly. "Certainly it has no factual base?"
"Well as a matter of fact, it does." Nabiki yawned.
"Yes, he agreed and we gave him a cookie. It's all legal." Ryoga said. He seemed tired too, but Nabiki was a wreck compared to him.
Kasumi sighed. "A cookie?"
"Well . . . we didn't sign a contract, I'm sorry, it wasn't official." Harume said.
"Yes it is!" Nabiki waved her hand to no avail.
"Uh . . . no, no it isnt." Harume frowned.
"What?" Nabiki frowned too. She waved her hand again. "You don't need a contract!"
"I don't need a contract, because I was just lying to get the cookie." Harume shrugged. "It was delicious too."
"You will make your daughter marry Ranma!" Nabiki tried.
"Hey!" Ranma protested.
"No, I'm not interested in this Ranma." Harume frowned.
Nabiki waved her hand over and over, she snapped her fingers. Kasumi scratched her head. "Do you feel okay Nabiki?"
"Yeah, I'm fine!" Nabiki said, standing up now waving her hands around.
"Give up, it wont work." Cologne said, sipping a cup of tea.
"What? What're you talking about?" Nabiki demanded.
"I've gone through the ancient texts and identified your special power." Cologne said simply. "It wont work now."
"What did you do to me?" Nabiki demanded.
"I didn't do anything." Cologne shrugged. "You see your mind control powers work on the weak minded when you are . . . for lack of a better term, pent up like a bull with mad cow disease."
"Uh . . . what?" Nabiki blinked.
"Your powers are fueled off of your sexual frustration, it's a power that we've seen common among our elders, it doesn't usually manifest in youths, especially young beauties like Nabiki . . ."
"Ryoga obviously isnt doing his job." Ranma chuckled.
"So since she just woke up, and she's not uh . . . in that mood yet, her power doesn't work?" Kasumi asked.
"No, it's not a matter of mood–"
"But you just said–"
"She might be in the mood, but if she's had sex recently she wont have enough pent up frustration to make her powers work. In other words: Ryoga *did* do his job."
There was silence at the table for a moment. Then everyone was looking or glaring at Ryoga. In the case of the adults, it was mostly glaring. Kasumi alone simply looked with disappointed disapproval.
"Gee . . . that's really fascinating . . . amazonian mythology, great stuff huh?" Ryoga chuckled nervously.
"Anything you want to tell us, son?" Ryoga's mother asked, her eye was twitching.
"Hey just a minute here, I've been frustrated plenty of times before ever getting together with Ryoga, and I didn't have any silly powers!"
"Right, well you cant know true frustration until you've had sex." Cologne shrugged.
Nabiki blinked. "Was that an insult? It was, wasn't it? I'm not sure how, but you meant that to be an insult!"
"Yes, well you are rather sharp." Cologne said, "You'll figure it out eventually."
"I always thought it was the other way around." Ranma noted. "Guys who don't get to have sex the first time get more and more frustrated."
"No, you cant experience withdrawals from something you've never experienced." Cologne explained.
"But I could have sworn I've controlled people's minds before I got together with Ryoga!" Nabiki protested.
"Your powers, before becoming true power, could control the incredibly weak minded, you had power over idiots without even knowing it."
Everyone in the room–except those who didnt know him–bowed their heads and sighed at the same time, "Kuno"
"And Ranma." Akane added.
Nabiki started laughing. "This is ridiculous! I'm not even an Amazon, why would I have Amazon powers? You're trying to get us into trouble."
"While it's true I could have waited until I had you alone to tell you this, and spare you the trouble, this was not a stunt to get you into trouble, this is no fantasy, it is true. Of course there have been cases of people having powers outside of amazon tribes, there is for example the charismatic Liu Bei, emperor of the ancient Shu-Han dynasty. He was fat, had long ears, eyes like a frog and feet so large he could see them without looking down. His power was to appear handsome, his power, like yours was driven by sexual frustration, he had to be pent up really bad to seem handsome . . . his wives would always wake up to a nasty surprise after their wedding nights . . . one threw herself into a shallow river and drowned."
"Uh . . . okay . . . but he's still Chinese, I'm not." Nabiki said.
"It works if your soul is the same as that of a hero of ancient china . . . in your case I'd say the goddess of temptations, Diao Chan."
"Great, I'm the fictional whore who turns two war lords against each other by having sex with both and claiming to each that the other is raping her?!"
"It fits." Ryoga's mother noted.
"I hate to admit . . ." Soun grumbled.
"If Diao Chan was fictional, how could Nabiki have her soul?" Akane asked.
"A soul isnt confined to true and false, real and unreal, not to mention the fact that historians only *believe* Diao Chan was fictional, there are some who think–"
Ryoga's father shook his head. "This is all fascinating but if what you say is true–"
"It is."
"Right, well that means these two have had sex?"
"Caught on to that one did you?" Cologne sighed.
"I'm very clever." Ryoga's father said proudly. He turned to Ryoga and Nabiki. "But you two . . . there are some things you need to explain . . ."
"We're really sorry? We'll never do it again? We're adults and you don't have any control over us?" Ryoga offered.
"Forget that!" Ryoga's father cried. "How was it?"
"WHAT!?" Everyone shouted.
Ryoga's father shrugged. "What?"
"You're encouraging them!" Ryoga's mother scowled.
"Well . . . they're going to do it anyway, we might as well know if they're any good at it." Soun said.
"Men!" Ryoga's mother cried.
There was silence for a while, finally Nabiki decided to answer the question. "Well, It was okay, I liked it," she said, "but I think we need more practice."
"And since I've had sex with Nabiki, I couldn't marry Yoshimi even if I wanted to, since my body is no longer pure . . ." Ryoga said.
"You two have had sex before too!" Kasumi protested.
"Yeah!" Akane said. "All the more reason he cant marry Yoshimi!"
"Oh that's okay, Yoshimi isnt pure either." Harume chuckled. "She thinks I don't read my phone bills, she thinks I don't know who 'Dominique' is, but I know, oh boy howdy do I know!"
"Uh . . . you're talking about your bills sir." The ninja piped up.
"I am?" Harume frowned and scratched his chin. "Oh yeah!" He said. "I remember now . . ."
"Uh, well anyway . . ."
"Ryoga, you're going to at least meet Yoshimi. She's older now, more mature." Ryoga's mother said.
"Oh I wouldn't say tha–" Harume began then wisely stopped himself.
Nabiki frowned. "Ryoga will meet her, that was part of the bargain. But he doesn't have to marry her if he doesn't want to."
"Yes, that was our agreement." Ryoga's mother nodded.
"Good, then it's settled." Nabiki said simply.
"Yeah, that is . . ." Ranma said. "But you still haven't told us any details about last night."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Ranma." Ryoga shrugged.
"What do you mean? Of course you do! You, her, bed, wrong doing, details!" Ryoga's father cried.
"Uh . . . well we only did half of it in bed–" Nabiki admitted.
"That's enough!" Ryoga's mother cried, "Remember young lady, we have shopping to do."
"Oh . . . yeah . . . right." Nabiki sighed. She quickly got ready and followed Ryoga's mother out the door.
"One thing," Ryoga's mother said when they were outside, "it's all well and good that you've got these super powers, but I warn you, if I find you've been using them to persuade Ryoga to care for you instead of Yoshimi, I will destroy you."
"Destroy me?"Nabiki blinked.
"Yes. I like 'destroy' because it is somewhat vauge, I could mean that I'll kill you, I could mean that I'll ruin your life, I might even mean both, it leaves you guessing."
"I'd have to try that some time." Nabiki noted to herself and hailed a cab.
Of course none stopped. Nabiki and Mrs. Hibiki kept trying until they saw Kuno walking along the other side of the street, Nabiki cleverly called him over, then called a cab, ten car accidents, this time two cabs survived, Nabiki wanted to ride in the yellow one, but Ryoga's mother insisted on the green one with the air freshener inside.
Unfortunately, too late they learned it was 'vanilla' scented.

Ryoga and Ranma were sparing in the dojo, Soun, Mr. Hibiki, and Genma were off doing . . . well, no one knew what they were doing, Kasumi and the amazon were cooking, and Harume was talking on the phone.
"But daddy, you should have told me that Ryoga was in Narnia!"
"He's where?" Harume frowned. "Yoshi-chan, he isnt in 'Narnia' he's in Nerima. We want you to come here and meet with him, he misses you terribly."
"Is that where you flew off to in such a hurry?" Yoshimi asked.
"The day you left, I was trying to talk to you and you flew away, Daddy!" Yoshimi said.
"Oh-ho . . . yeah, I uh . . . had to come here right away, there was no time to wait for you."
"Really? Because I thought you were trying to avoid me again."
Harume forced a laugh. "Honey, why would I do that?"
"That's what I've been asking you ever since I learned my words!" Yoshimi cried.
"Yeah sure, whatever, I have to go now, but you take the second chopper and get down here right away, Ryoga is waiting!"
"But daddy I–" Harume hung up.
"Well, my work is done." He said to himself. "Now all I have to do is go to Italy for the weekend." He turned to the ninja. "You take care of things here, here's a wireless phone, give me the play-by-play when Yoshimi gets here."
"Uh . . . okay sir." The ninja said.
With that Harume left in his helicopter. Actually he had to wait five minutes for the pilot and Nodoka to get their cloths back on, then he left in his helicopter.

Meanwhile, at the mall . . .
"You see? It's stunning."
"I look like Kasumi!" Nabiki cried.
"Don't be silly!" Mrs. Hibiki said, she got an apron, "Now you do!"
"Very funny."
"Well your sister doesn't look like a whore at all."
"Yeah, isnt it funny how looks can be so deceiving?" Nabiki scoffed.
"Are you calling your sister a whore?" Mrs. Hibiki blinked.
"Caught that one, did you?" Nabiki chuckled. "No, seriously Kasumi is a nice girl . . . a little too nice . . ."
"How about skirts?"
"Skirts?" Mrs. Hibiki raised an eyebrow knowingly . . . if that's possible.
"Well, you don't like the shorts I want."
"I hate the skirt you want."
"I haven't found one I want yet." Nabiki protested.
"But I'll hate it." Mrs. Hibiki smiled. "I know what girls your age buy skirts for."
"What? I look good in a skirt."
"I was seventeen once too." Mrs, Hibiki said with a sly grin.
"Yes, but things have changed in the last hundred years." Nabiki said innocently.
Mrs. Hibiki paused. "Did you just take a swing at my age?"
Nabiki grinned. "Caught that one, did you?"
"Oh, I wouldn't be a smart ass if I were you–"
"Of course not, if you were me I'd be you, and I'd use your body to be a smart ass. You cant stop me no matter who you are." Nabiki said simply.
"You're impossible!" Mrs. Hibiki sighed.
"Really? Because you seem to think I'm easy."
"What's that supposed to . . . oh . . . nice one." Mrs. Hibiki admitted. "I guess I walked into that one."
"I thought so too." Nabiki nodded.
"God, I hate you."
"I hate you too."
"At least he isnt marrying that girl who turns into a boy." Mrs. Hibiki sighed.
"Boy that turns into a girl actually, and they have been on a couple dates." Nabiki informed her. "Usually it was Ranma tricking Ryoga, you'd think he'd recognize Ranko but, what the can I say?"
"He's a gullible fool." Mrs. Hibiki sighed.
"Always found that attractive."
"Tell me you're joking . . . oh wait, that's right, some one like you *would* be attracted to a guy who'll fall for anything."
"Oh-ho. Well maybe it was his upbringing, or lack-there-of."
"Uh-huh. You know I'm very glad that the bridal training involves martial arts training."
"It does?" Nabiki gulped.
"Oh, it does now."
"You truely are a monster."
"Yes, let the hate fill you, give in to your hatred!"
"Are we talking about 'the force' now?"
"Just buy something that doesn't make you look like you're hooking."
"I'm trying but it isnt easy!"
"Hello!" an attractive woman said.
"Oh, hello!" Mrs. Hibiki said.
"Can I help you?"
"No! Go away, Tsubassa!" Nabiki cried.
"Oh, but I'm such a good judge of clothing!"
"We can tell, I love that sweater. Now beat it!" Nabiki cried.
"Actually we do need your help." Mrs. Hibiki snickered. "My future daughter here looks like a whore–"
"It's the shorts." Tsubassa said.
"Look whose talking, that skirt is shorter than my shorts, if that's even possible!"
"Well I said I was an expert on fashion–"
"No you didn't." Nabiki scoffed.
"Close enough, anyway revealing cloths are all the rage."
"We have religion." Mrs. Hibiki said, Nabiki hoped she was lying.
"Oh! Well in that case you'll want these!"
"God no!" Nabiki moaned when Tsubassa showed her the cloths.
"No, God says "yes" to this collection!" Tsubassa chuckled.
"We'll take it all." Mrs. Hibiki said.
"Oh no!" Nabiki gasped.
"And she'll wear it home."
"I don't know if you can do that . . . I don't actually work here though . . . she'd have to undress to put them on, right?" Tsubassa asked.
"You can use my dressing room."
"I thought you didn't work here!"
"Yeah, but believe me, it's *my* dressing room." He pointed to a dressing room . . . no, it was more of a shrine, with pictures of Ukyo, and candles and . . . well Nabiki was going to pretend that she didn't know what was in that long rectangular box.
"Go on, dress up!"
"Don't we have to pay for these first?" Nabiki stalled.
"Try them on, see that they fit!" Tsubassa encouraged.
"Right well . . . okay . . ."
"No, I'll go in with you." Mrs. Hibiki said. "So you don't lie and say they don't fit."
Nabiki sighed, Ryoga had better appreciate this. "I hate you." Nabiki reminded her future mother-in-law.
"I know. I hate you too. I cant wait for you to get pregnant so I can start making my grand child like me more than you."
Nabiki scowled. Then she smiled. "Hey! You called my your daughter!"
"I did not." Mrs. Hibiki scoffed.
"Yes you did, didn't she Tsubassa?"
"Future daughter, yes." Tsubassa nodded.
"Hah!" Nabiki clapped her hands. "Giving in to the inevitable are you?"
"Oh har-de-har. Go ahead, laugh it up, but that martial arts training I spoke of, that's what we do next." Mrs. Hibiki said, and Nabiki stopped laughing so quickly you'd think a pet died.

Ryoga was watching TV with everyone else, something was wrong though . . . he had a sense of impending doom . . .
"Dinner is ready!" Akane cried.
"Wow! It smells great!" Father said.
"I cant wait!" Soun said.
"Wonderful. Is there any caviar?" Harume asked.
"Actually . . . yes." Akane smiled. "I cooked it myself!"
Suddenly those who knew of the danger were no longer hungry.
"No, I really couldn't eat a thing, have to starve yourself twenty four hours before surgery you know." Genma said.
"Yeah, you can go with a diet Pop." Ranma chuckled.
"Here Ranma!" Akane said enthusiastically. "Have some!"
Ryoga was amazed, Akane's plate looked edible, it looked great even!
"Kasumi walked me through it and corrected me when I used the wrong ingredients." Akane explained, because apparently everyone had noticed the beauty of the dish.
"Well . . . okay . . ." Ranma said. He took a bite and then doubled over clutching his stomach.
"Very funny!"
"C-Call an ambulance!" Ranma groaned.
"Well it looks great!" Father said.
"Wonderful!" Harume agreed.
"No! Dad! Don't!" Ryoga tried, it was too late.
Father was lying on his side coughing, but Harume ate on.
"This is magnificent! It tastes just like Bull Testicles, my favorite dish! And this . . . this tastes just like Baboon Brains, and this is sheep's stomach!"
"Rice balls, meat loaf, shrimp!"Akane corrected Harume at each dish.
"Wow . . . well rich food does taste pretty bad anyway." Soun whispered. "He must be immune to it."
"Father, are you alright?" Ryoga asked.
Father was groaning. "A . . . Avenge me . . . my son . . ." he groaned.
"Uh . . . you'll survive dad!" Ryoga said.
"I see . . . dead people . . ." Father moaned.
"Is this . . . oh how did you know how to make Goat Eyes?" Harume said.
"Meat balls!" Akane corrected.
"Well, we'd better get them to bed."
After a long night Ryoga managed to convince his father that he was not the legendary Naomasa Ie, and that he also was not Princess Shi Shi Hana Hana of the Poe Poe Go Doe Tribe.
When he felt it was safe to leave the old man alone, he left the guest room–at the very edge of insanity–and made his way to the living room.
"How are they?" Kasumi asked.
"Well my dad seems to be coming down. Ranma is used to it, so he'll be okay too."
"I really thought I had the ingredients this time." Akane frowned.
"You had the ingredients, you had the measurements, you had the mixtures you baked and broiled them properly. But somehow they still . . . well . . . not everyone appreciated them." Kasumi said. She'd started off encouraging, then remembered not to be.
"Oh yeah, Nabiki got back." Akane said. "She was really quiet about it too, like she didn't want you to know."
"I don't blame her." Soun said. He turned to Ryoga. "You have to be strong for her, she needs you now."
"Honestly father, so she looks like a minister's daughter, I do believe you're overreacting."
"Where is she?" Ryoga asked.
"With your mother, in the dojo."
"I uh . . . guess I'll go see them." Ryoga said.
"I'll take you." Kasumi said. Once they were out of ear shot of everyone else Kasumi stopped him. "A blonde woman walks into a bar and–"
"What's this all about?"
"I'm desensitizing you to humor. Believe me, you're going to have to have the sense of humor of a stone not to laugh at Nabiki's new outfit."
"Uh . . . okay . . . go ahead."

Mrs. Hibiki was sitting in the dojo with Nabiki. She was very pleased with herself.
If Kasumi and a priest got married their child would wear those cloths.
A checkered skirt that went to the bottom of her knees. It was so long it should not have even been called a skirt.
A white dress shirt with pink buttons, a green and gold checkered vest, to match her blue and red checkered skirt/dress.
To be extra cruel, Mrs. Hibiki had made Nabiki wear a black tie with monkeys on it.
"You know . . ." Nabiki said coldly. "If anything . . . this only hurts your cause."
"How so?" Mrs. Hibiki couldn't see how this would hurt her cause.
"These cloths are so bad, that I'll be looking for any excuse to get out of them, Ryoga and I will be having a lot more sex. Why, we might not even have adequate money for any means of protection . . . grandma. Of course you could pay us a birth-conrol allowance."
"I told you, I'm *waiting* for you to work up the gall to get pregnant so I can turn that kid against you." Mrs. Hibiki shot back. "Do you think I even bothered getting Ryoga birthday and Christmas presents? Of course not, I knew his grand mother would blow me out of the water. I just saved my money so I could do the same thing to my grand children. Of course the legitimate ones will belong to Ryoga and Yoshimi, but I'll still turn your bastard children against you."
"First of all, you said 'children' suggesting Ryoga and I will be together long enough to have more than one, secondly you will not call my children–albeit unborn children–'bastards', is that understood, mom?"
"You want to learn more martial arts?" Mrs. Hibiki narrowed her eyes.
"No, I think the warm ups were enough for me, thank you." Nabiki admitted.
Mrs. Hibiki sighed. She was getting used to this girl, but she still had her fingers crossed for Yoshimi.
Just then there was a knock on the door. "Don't come in! I'm naked!" Nabiki cried.
Suddenly there was the sound of Kasumi laughing. "With cloths like that, I'd go naked too!"
"Jeez Kasumi, you too?" Nabiki scowled and went over to the door.
"I couldn't help it!" Kasumi said.
Ryoga looked at Nabiki. Mrs. Hibiki's heart stopped beating . . . could it be? Would he drop her and take Yoshimi?"
"I don't get it . . . you look like a four year old who dressed herself and wants everyone to be proud of her . . . but . . . it's not so bad."
Her heart stopped as her son nodded slowly. She'd failed! Ryoga was unstoppable, he'd marry this girl no matter what, it seemed!
Then came a spark of hope.
Ryoga's straight face broke and he almost started laughing, however he quickly saved himself and turned it into a smile instead. "You look so good, I think we should go out, right now, you and me."
"Uh . . . Ryoga, I don't want to go out like this . . ." Nabiki mumbled.
Mrs. Hibiki laughed. "No changing your cloths now!"
"Uh . . . Kasumi, take Nabiki inside and help her change . . . mother, a word with you please."
Nabiki left, Kasumi was trying not to laugh, Mrs. Hibiki had to admit the responses to Nabiki's outfit were greatly exaggerated, but that only helped her.
Ryoga sat down where Nabiki had been a moment ago.
Mrs. Hibiki watched her son as he took deep breaths in, and out, finally gave up and just laughed for a little while, then snapped into a serious mood, laughed some more, then became serious again.
"Mother . . . that was very cruel."
"What was?"
"She took you with her seeking your approval, and you humiliate her?"
"Really everyone is exaggerating, she looks funny, but not funny." Mrs. Hibiki said defensively.
"I don't know what you just said." Ryoga said "Listen, mother, you have to tell me. Why don't you like her? Tell me, right now."
"You really want to know?"
"Yes." Ryoga said sternly. "I want to know why you hate her. Dad likes her, I like her, but you hate her."
"That's not true. She's just . . . well . . . she's not good enough for you."
"What?" Ryoga's eyes narrowed.
"She's not good enough for you." Mrs. Hibiki repeated. She glared at her insubordinate son. "Yoshimi Harume is rich, you'll be taken care of! If you have children, don't you want to spend time with them? With the Harume fortune you'd never have to leave the house! Yoshimi is a beautiful, sweet girl, she loves you and–"
"She doesn't love me, she doesn't even know me, and I don't know her, I don't want to know her, what I remember of her is enough!" Ryoga scowled.
"Ryoga, if you marry Nabiki, you're going to end up never seeing her, she'll start cheating on you, you're going to notice your kids look like your best friends and neighbors, you'll have to move to America, and you'll live in a trailer park, she'll be drinking and smoking, and doing drugs just to forget how screwed up her life is, you'll be wandering around challenging dojos for a living! With Yoshimi, you don't have to earn a living, so you can live easily." Mrs. Hibiki frowned, and admitted, "in all honesty, I wouldn't be too keen on marrying a stranger either, not when I had someone I loved right next to me. But in life, we don't get those choices."
"Like fun we don't." Ryoga scowled. "I said I'd meet Yoshimi, and I will. You can make it as formal as you want, I don't care. But I am going to marry Nabiki."
"So you say." Mrs. Hibiki sighed.
"Mother, ever since you've got here we've just told each other the same things over and over again. Let's just meet with Yoshimi, get it over with, and then I'll decide, okay?"
"Okay." Mrs. Hibiki smiled.
"Great." Ryoga smiled back weakly.
"Yes, great. Because I had Harume call her, she should be here any moment. He's leaving for itally tonight, hurry and maybe you can tag along." Mrs. Hibiki said sarcastically.
Ryoga's forced smile weakened and he quickly left the dojo. Mrs. Hibiki was left wondering why he was in such a hurry.

Ryoga stayed up all night pacing back and forth, he couldn't sleep, he didn't dare.
Nabiki–in her normal cloths–and Kasumi had tried to keep him company, but had fallen asleep a couple of hours ago. Even in her normal cloths Nabiki didnt want to go outside, too many people had seen her wear her new cloths home.
He paced back and forth, back and forth, and finally he could pace no more. He was tired, he was sleepy, the door bell rang, he went over and answered the closet.
The door bell rang again.
He got it right this time and opened the door. He closed it right away. There were five pink ninjas, parked at the sidewalk was a long black stretch limousine.
"I . . ." he decided, "cant do this."
"I can help you." Lotion said calmly. "But it will cost you."
"What do you want?"
"I can get you out of here, but you must help me in my quest."
"What is your quest, exactly?"
"I am going to China, there is a tree there, a tree that in truth has done no wrong, however it represents all the childhood trauma I've suffered. I want to destroy it."
"You need me for that?"
"It would be nice to have a slave on the way, to carry my things." Lo-Chun said. "The alternative is those pink ninjas. They are truely annoying, with their bright pink colors, I had the strangest urge to kill the one Harume left here . . ."
"Did you?"
"Heh-heh . . . he wont be coming out anymore–I mean no! I'd never ever harm another living being! But I sort of need to leave the country now, and soon, so shall we?" The door bell rang again.
"Done! Let's go!" Ryoga said frantically.
Lotion smiled and led him out the back door . . . or rather the hole in the wall that would be acting as the back door. They left a note.
Some time later Kasumi was woken up by the door bell ringing (with sixty five second increments), found the note and answered the door. There were five pink ninjas!
"We are here for Ryoga."
Kasumi yawned and shook her head. "Not here." She said. She showed them the note.
"Well . . . we must be going, sorry to have troubled you.
Kasumi nodded, waved, closed the door and went back to sleep.

That afternoon Mrs. Hibiki sat in the dojo, waiting for Nabiki to return from school and begin her training again.
The door opened, but it was not Nabiki who entered, it was Mr. Hibiki.
"Good afternoon dear."
"Right." Mr. Hibiki said. "Listen . . Yoshimi showed up this morning, I'm told. Ryoga is missing. You don't think she . . . dragged him off do you?"
"No, Kasumi said she found a note explaining hat Ryoga had chosen this time to take a trip to China to destroy a child raping tree."
"A what?"
"I felt it was best not to ask." Mrs. Hibiki said honestly. "These people are rather odd."
"And just think, they're going to be his in-laws." Mr. Hibiki chuckled.
"Oh, those are slim odds. Once I'm done with Nabiki . . ."
"You're just wasting time."
"It's a lie!" Mrs. Hibiki cried.
"Really? Well instead of dressing her like a moron, maybe you should get to know her?"
"Why does everyone want me to get to know her?"
"Because, like it or not she's the one Ryoga cares about, not Yoshimi." Mr. Hibiki said calmly. "And after wearing that junk you made her buy, she deserves a fair chance with this bridal training. Since when have the brides of either side of our families required lessons in how to take a hit?"
"Maybe Ryoga will beat her." Mrs. Hibiki offered.
"She's more likely to beat him." Mr. Hibiki shook his head. "You know it."
"She wasn't hurt."
"Only because you tripped in the middle of your fatality attack." Mr. Hibiki said sternly.
"Yes, I'm a little rusty . . ." Mrs. Hibiki sighed.
"I'm telling you now, just accept that she's going to marry Ryoga. If you must, hope they get bored with each other and get a divorce."
Mrs. Hibiki's mental light bulb lit up.
"You're a genius, dear!"
"Really? I should stand up to you more often!"
"I'll let them get bored!" She chuckled. The door opened and Nabiki came in, wearing a different color variation of the same outfit. This time she'd dared to match, and had covered her tie with a vest. Mrs. Hibiki would have to arrange her cloths for her from now on.
"Darling, leave us." Mrs. Hibiki said. "This is girl business."
Her husband sighed and left.
Nabiki took her seat across from Mrs. Hibiki.
Hibiki glared at the girl, and finally she sighed as if she gave up.
"Why do you wear that?" Hibiki asked.
"You told me to." Nabiki said calmly. "So I don't look like a whore."
Hibiki sighed. "But why did you listen to me?"
"What do you mean?" Nabiki asked.
Hibiki frowned. "Ryoga loves you, you seem to love him, if you were serious about marriage you'd have eloped already."
"The thought occured to me." Nabiki admitted.
"You're seeking my approval, knowing full well you'll never get it. Why?"
Nabiki laughed softly. "Because you're going to be my mother."
"I warned you about calling me that."
"I know." Nabiki shrugged. "Listen, my real mother is dead, the closest thing I've got is Kasumi. When I saw you I thought that maybe this would be my chance to have a mother . . . then you insulted me . . . but I still wanted to have a relationship with you." Nabiki began to cry. "I just want you to accept me!"
They were both silent for a moment. Then "You're a terrible actress!" Hibiki laughed.
"I had you going at first." Nabiki grinned wickedly.
"The tears gave you away. Not many people can tear on command though."
"It comes in handy when you want your father to buy you something. Or when you want to humiliate a particularly bad date." Nabiki smiled.
"Listen . . . you can dress as you normally do, you can do as you wish . . . however, you are not allowed to marry Ryoga until you are both eighteen."
"Great, now we cant have sex, *or* get married for another year."
"You had sex."
"Well yeah, but no one was supposed to know about that." Nabiki said.
"Ryoga fled rather than meet with Yoshimi . . . I have decided that I will cancel his meting her . . . as well as their engagement." she lied.
"Uh . . . good?" Nabiki offered.
Hibiki smiled. "In a way I suppose. Well, let me warn you. You take good care of my son, or I'll hunt you down. And if I even suspect that you're cheating, I'll break your legs."
"That sounds fair." Nabiki said simply. "Interfere any further, and I'll–"
"I'll interfere as I see fit, if you don't like it, too bad!"
"You can go now." Hibiki said. "Go do something slutty."
"Uh . . . okay, I'm leaving now . . . but I'm not going to do anything 'slutty'."
"Yeah right." Hibiki laughed. Nabiki left, she waited, then laughed. "Hahaha! In one year? She'll be in college, getting knocked up by whom-have-you, and he will be here, begging to meet and meat Yoshimi! I'm invincible!"
"Hi there!" Ranma said.
"Oh no! You heard?"
"You want candy, don't you?"
"No, I'm telling Nabiki. You're evil and wrong and Ryoga is not just an enemy, he's a rival, I owe it to him to help him out here."
"Then help him. Don't help him. It's best if he doesn't wed Nabiki."
"I wont argue there. Infact now that I think of it we should join forces and–"
"Amnesia dust!"
"Doh! Uh . . . hey! What am I doing here?"
"You were just leaving." Mrs. Hibiki said.
"Right. Uh . .. See ya."

Some Months Later . . .
Nabiki scowled bitterly, another night and still no word from Ryoga.
Lotion had showed up a month ago saying that they had successfully killed the tree, but had been separated when the police tried to arrest them for assault of a national treasure.
She'd let Ryoga navigate, somehow they'd ended up in the United States, and cut down the wrong tree . . . something called "Big Green" or "Huge Red" or something like that.
So now, for all Nabiki knew Ryoga was stuck in some American prison. His parents had left after a while to look for him, and Lotion had agreed to search for him, but had never gotten around to leaving. Harume's ninja had waited around for Ryoga for a few days (After Ranma found him and pulled out the knives that were holding him to the wall.
Nabiki had wanted Ryoga to come to her graduation, and now he'd missed it. She was going to murder him in cold blood when he showed up, then take him to the hospital, get him brought back to life, just so she could murder him a second time.
It was summer now, and soon Nabiki would go to college, she really wished she could have shoved P-Chan into a little pet carrier and taken him along, but Ryoga hadn't come back, she wondered if he ever would . . .
Then the doorbell rang, and rang, and rang.
Nabiki scowled and got up to answer it. Probably one of the other house residents coming home drunk just to bug her. Luckily she had gotten her powers back, she'd send them packing after they emptied their wallets for her.
But standing before her when she opened the door . . . was a differnt half wit . . .
But you'll never know who it was, because the story ends here and now...
The End

Nabiki: End it properly!
Ryoga: Who was at the door!?

Ahem . . .
"Hey, I was hoping this was the right place." Ryoga said with a weak smile. "I waited outside for twenty minutes."
"Why?" Nabiki demanded. "I've been waiting for you for months, and you prolong it by twenty minutes?"
"I wasn't sure if this was where I wanted to be." Ryoga said. "I've hugged a lot of martial artist' daughters, and wives thinking they were you. Got me into a lot of fights."
"You're joking . . ." she said, but knew that was the sort of thing Ryoga would do. He'd rambled on to Kasumi, or her on occasion, with conversations meant for Akane or Ranma simply because they'd answered the door. He had a tendency to close his eyes before making what he felt was a dramatic statement.
"Nabiki, I've got something for you!" Ryoga said excitedly.
"What? A chocolate horse?" Nabiki scoffed.
"Uh . . . actually . . . it is." Ryoga said, holding out a small box shaped like a small red barn, which was labeled as "chocolate barn yard animals", inside was a chocolate horse.
"Wow . . . they do exist." Nabiki was surprised.
"Yeah . . ." Ryoga nodded. "When I saw it, I had to get it for you."
Nabiki laughed weakly. "You remembered. Well?" She asked.
"Are you going to come inside?"
"Is Yoshimi here?"
"No." Nabiki shrugged. "Kasumi said a couple guys showed up in a limousine, but I didn't even get to meet her. What's so bad about her?"
"Nothing." Ryoga said with a dismissive wave, looking around several times before finally coming inside.
"Then why couldn't you even meet with her?" Nabiki demanded.
Ryoga sighed. "It was just easier to go to China to destroy a tree."
"And not coming back for months?"
"Months?" Ryoga frowned. "I thought I was gone for a couple weeks."
"Are you kidding?" Nabiki demanded. For her every hour had been like a day, these months had been like a lifetime and he'd thought it just a couple of weeks?
"No, really, I had no idea, I didn't count the days." Ryoga said. "I couldnt get back, the taxis said they couldn't make the trip."
"Why not?"
"I ended up in Canada." Ryoga said nervously. "I had to take on a job to make the money for the plane, but I never did manage to find my work, eventually, somehow I made it to Liverpool, though I didn't really ask them where that was, and then I found my way to Japan, and asked for directions to the Tendo Training Hall everywhere I went."
Nabiki smiled weakly. Most girlfriends wouldn't believe that, she on the other hand had no problem. Even the people who knew Ryoga, might wonder how he got to Canada without noticing, but she felt it was best not to ask. "You're hopeless" was all she could say to him.
"I know." He grinned. "What's happened while I was gone?"
"Nothing much. Your parents went off to look for you. Lotion said she'd go search too . . . she just never got around to leaving. Shampoo tried to kill Akane with a pair of chopsticks, and Akane and Ranma are getting married."
"That's always been." Ryoga noted.
"Yes, but now they've set a date." Nabiki clarified.
"We should get around to that some day. Well, I guess I'd better congratulate them . . . where are they?"
"They aren't here. No one is home."
"I had a feeling about that." Ryoga said.
"Good or bad?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure." Ryoga said, he added "I was hoping we'd be alone, but then I also wanted to catch up and stuff."
"Are you not attracted to me?" Nabiki demanded.
"That's the first truely dumb thing you've said to my memory. I *am* rubbing off on you." Ryoga said evenly. "You're the most beautiful woman in the world."
"Then why do I have to force you to sleep with me?"
"I would sleep with you, but I don't plan on staying long."
"You're leaving?" Nabiki demanded. "You just got here! You're confused."
"Not as much as you'd think." Ryoga said simply.
"Let me explain to you, how this is *supposed* to work. You come back after months away, making me wonder where you were, wondering if you were alright, and wondering if you were off dropping soap in American prison showers. By way of payment for missing several important events, my graduation, birthday, and of course simply because you had me worried sick, the laws of nature decree that we must have sex for exactly five hours."
"You're like an addict. I wonder if there are programs for people like you." Ryoga frowned. "You were really worried about me?"
"Of course. I need a pet to remind me of home when I get to college." Nabiki said simply.
"You're allowed to have pets in college?"
"Well I'm not sure." Nabiki admitted. "But even if pets aren't allowed, do you really think that would stop me?"
Ryoga smiled, and said "No, I guess not."
"Ryoga, why are you going?" Nabiki asked.
"Lots of reasons." the young man shrugged. "I didn't want to deal with Yoshimi, okay? You don't know her, that girl is . . . she's just . . . wrong. Besides, Lotion was offering me a way out, and the possibility of adventure."
"An adventure with another woman?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
"Relax, it wasn't that kind of an adventure." Ryoga chuckled.
"Does part of you wish it were?"
"Not really, between Lotion and Yoshimi the amazon is the lesser of two evils, still I really wouldn't want to be with either one romantically. It'd be one heck of a step down from *the* evil goddess of temptations, Nabiki Tendo."
"Not many men would call me evil and expect me to be flattered." Nabiki said dryly. "What's even more interesting is how much I liked it when you called me that."
Ryoga smiled. "We cant deny who we are, Nabiki. Anyway I think I'm used to wandering around. While I was out there I felt really, really good, like a caged animal set free."
"So I'm a cage now, am I?" Nabiki demanded angrily.
"No. I didn't mean it like that." Ryoga said softly. He paused. "Well . . . you're kind of a cage I guess. I nice cage, but a cage. You never let me go anywhere, it's depressing."
"Then why did you even come back?" The middle Tendo sister scoffed.
"I had to see you." Ryoga said. "I missed you, y'know?"
Nabiki shook her head. "Okay." She said. "Alright, I've made up my mind."
"Hmm?" Ryoga looked curious.
"I'll go."
"Go where?"
"With you."
"You don't know where I'm going." Ryoga said.
"Ryoga-honey, I don't even think *you* know where you're going."
"This is true." Ryoga said. "I have a general idea of where I want to be though."
"And just think of how quickly you'll get there with me to navigate for you." Nabiki nodded. "Now you can take your cage with you, incase you get lonely." She said.
"You sure about this? Life on the road is tough." Ryoga said.
"Life in general is tough." Nabiki nodded.
"I guess so." Ryoga said.
"Yeah . . . can we have sex yet?"
"Can we eat something first?"
"You must be joking."
"I'm hungry." The lost boy shrugged.
"Figures." Nabiki frowned. "Well lets see if we can find anything with aphrodisiacs in it."
Nabiki felt Ryoga's arms wrap around her waist, he pulled her close, she turned around, her cheeks burning. He pressed his lips against hers.
"R-Ryoga!" Nabiki squeaked.
"I thought you were hungry?"
"I remembered you cant cook."
"I can cook better than Akane!" Nabiki protested.
"Oh. Okay then, let's eat first." Ryoga smiled.
"Damn, I need to think before I speak." Nabiki smiled.

The Next Day . . .
Kasumi sighed. She didn't even want to read it.
Every time she found a note, either some one had run away, or some one was missing, or some one wanted to try and kill Ranma. She paced back and forth, and then decided to ignore it.
She went about her morning chores, but found she couldn't concentrate on making breakfast. Her mind kept drifting back to the note.
"Alright." Kasumi said to herself at last. "Some one left a note, I might as well read it." She walked over to the door and snatched it. She looked it over.

**To whom it may concern, I Nabiki Tendo, being of particularly sound mind and body have decided to spend the summer with my fiancee in Hawaii. I'm sure getting there will be half the fun, and only a third the charge.
That said, do not to bother looking for your credit card, Daddy. Don't worry, we'll be responsible and only use it in an emergency. For the record, when I say 'emergeny' I mean whenever it's easier to find than cash. We'll be back before summer's end.
With love, and your life's savings, Nabiki & Ryoga**

Kasumi shook her head. "Father wont be happy about this." She decided.

Turns out Soun was thrilled, he'd made a money bet with Harume over which girl Ryoga would marry. Tendo was keeping his fingers crossed that Ryoga's decision to elope with Nabiki would lead to eventually counting as victory. Kasumi wasn't sure that it was a fair bet, as none of them had yet met Yoshimi, but then she didn't really care anyway. So long as father wasn't suicidal, or homicidal, and didn't mind that Nabiki would more than likely use that credit card to it's limit before spending a single coin of her own money, then she was content.
Content to have the strangest family in the world.
Over the summer several strange new adventures occurred, but they are other stories entirely, and not at all vital to your knowledge. No need for you to know how Ranma solved world hunger and forgot how he'd done it, how Kasumi saved the world from aliens invading from space, how Akane mastered every form of martial arts in the world in one week for a bet, or how Colonge tried to use her army of giant pigs to conquer Nerima and force Ranma to marry Shampoo, only to be stopped by Happosai and his equally impressive army of giant sheep.

The End . . .

The Author wants to thank all those who reviewed the story (including flamers) and those who pointed out mistakes, errors, or otherwise contributed to making this story the incredibly, international success he believes it to be, in his twisted mind of evil. Now that you've read all 30 chapters, review them all! Let us (Us, meaning me, and my split personalities) know what you thought about each and every one!
Just kidding! I remember how people felt about the other chapters before the story was taken down, and I appreciate their reviews, but I want to know how everyone feels about the ending . . . was it sad? Happy? Pathetic? Does it make you want . . . a sequel?

Since there is no NEXT CHAPTER you get to feel the AFTERSHOCK!!!
The Author will be interviewed by Mercedes the Giant German Shepherd Dog!

Mercedes: ROWFF!
Me: Hmm? Well yeah, of course this was fun. That's why I just had to repost it. If I get in trouble, big deal, who wants membership of a sight that not only doesnt allow your favorite fiction, but wont even tell you why they wont allow it?
Mercedes: BARK!! BARK!!
Me: Actually if I could turn back time I'd never have introduced Lotion. Other than that I regret nothing.
Mercedes: ARFF?
Me: Well of course I never let the readers "see" Yoshimi. Meeting up with her is a special treat saved for the sequel. You'll finally get to see what it is about her that scares Ryoga and her father so much.
Me: Actually Nabiki was supposed to get pregnant in the original draft, it would have also explain why she was so quick to agree to get hitched to Ryoga, however when it came to it I felt that it might seem as if I was trying to encourage teenage pregnancy, because I'd begun to plan a sequel, I simply made her . . . eh . . . un-pregnant I guess. She might get knocked up in the sequel though, I'm making no promises.
Mercedes: ROOFFFFFF!
Me: I admit, throwing my script away probably was a mistake. One I hope not to make with the sequel.
Mercedes: ARRFFF!
Me: Of course I cant give more detail about the sequel. Well . . . alright. (Deep breath) Basically it's the continuation of Charlotte's Web , that's why it's called a sequel, It kicks off after the summer, when Nabiki and Ryoga come back, and right away things get crazy with the introduction of Yoshimi, a startling announcement from Hand Lotion and Kasumi, Ryoga gets to fight a Moose (not Mousse, a Moose!), The Koruda School might just make an appearance at long last, and Nabiki goes to college (breathes in) and that's just the first chapter, but that's all that I have to say about THAT!! Except that there will be new characters, like an insane gun-obsessed killer who wants to put a bullet in Ranko's head to see if it'd make him feel better about himself, the evil Kaiser who wants to sell Nabiki on the white slave market after sucking up her delicious brain meats, and the fanatics who think Ryoga is the god of death. But I should really stop talking now.
Mercedes: ARF?
Me: No, Lotion may play an interesting role in part two, but I still regret introducing her. Not that she isnt apparently well tolerated, as far as OCs go she's my favorite out of my own creations (besides Mercedes) I simply dislike Original Characters in general. Besides Phil, he's cool.
Mercedes: GGRRRRR
Me: And you of course, you're the best Original Character I've ever invented.
Mercedes: ARFF!
Me: Yeah . . . the thought of a trilogy did occur to me, but lets try to get through this sequel and see how the readers feel after that. My hope is to make the chapters longer so readers have more to do while they wait for updates, and hopefully have more updates more often. But you know me, some times I'm all talk. I'm still hammering some problems out of another story that was supposed to get a sequel, and I canceled the conclusion of another story because one beta said it was incredibly offensive.
Me: Oh yeah. Well . . .
Phil: Good fight, good night!
Me: That's my line! (Shoots Phil) Ahem: Good night! Or morning! Or afternoon! To heck with it! Just go!