Title: #1 crush (1/1) Author: Marie Rated : R Pairing: Victoria/Jeff Hardy Disclaimer: I'm a college student, nuff said. I own no one. The Characters who appear belong to themselves and Vince McMahon. The fic's title and the Song used here is # 1 Crush by the band garbage, don't own that either. (come on what luv song better describes Victoria?) Summary: Victoria and Jeff meet in a bar. Distribution: If you want it let me know, I'll probably say yes Author's note: Song lyrics between these ~ ~. Character thought are contained with in stars like these * *. I mixed up the order of the song lyrics to fit the story better.

~I would die for you

I would die for you

I've been dying just to feel you by my side

To know that you're mine~

Her mom always said she was sensitive, a bit high strung. That's pretty funny because most people would generally describe her as a crazy bitch. To be honest they were both a little true. She always felt things intensely and reacted passionately. She didn't care what anyone else thought of it. Why should she? At least she was real, that every breath spent was one not wasted. She wasn't like those automatons she worked with. Performing monkeys the lot of them. That's why she loved her boyfriend so. Like her he was real. He didn't expect her to smile mindlessly, suck up to which ever goddamn McMahon was in charge for the moment, or degrade herself for instant popularity. He loved her, all of her, and for that the Raven-haired diva was grateful. ***** Another RAW gone by and Victoria found herself at some bar in. Arizona? Whatever, it was somewhere out west. She thought about her life and about her profession. At this point in her life they were basically the same thing. No she didn't find that fact depressing in the slightest. Victoria thought about this night in particular. She'd never get the respect she was due. Everything she had worked so hard for was mocked on a daily basis. For what? So Vince McMahon could earn another dollar whoring out the roster in every way conceivable. So Trish Stratus could be elevated to unparalleled levels of stardom in this industry. She won babe of the year yet again yay her! She's so blonde and perky she's what every diva should aspire to. Stratus is like a slap in the face.

She sat on a bar stool quietly sipping her beer, mulling over her unhappy thoughts. Her peace was momentarily shattered when she caught some man eyeing her. He was an older gentleman, about fortyish she would estimate. The man was attractive, she supposed, with a pleasant face and slightly graying hair.

"Is there a problem?" she asked turning around to fix him with a steely stare.

"Oh no not at all." He replied shaking his head.

"Then would you mind telling me what was the deal with all the staring."

The man was flustered at her directness. He blushed a deep shade of pink and cast his blue eyes downwards before answering.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you, it's just that I have the embarrassing habit of forgetting myself around beautiful women."

That was not the answer Victoria was expecting. Beautiful her? She didn't think so. She sat in the half empty bar in her street clothes, which consisted of boot cut jeans and a simple white tank. Her face was scrubbed clean of any cosmetics and her hair was pulled into a messy twist. He thought she looked beautiful now? He must be drunk. But drunks don't get embarrassed do they? And this guy looked like he wanted the earth to open and swallow him up.

Victoria smiled a genuine smile, "Thank you your very sweet, but I have a boyfriend." He looked relieved at the fact that she had not taken offence to him. "I'm not surprised." Was all he said with a smile before walking away. Leaving Victoria a bit confused.

That was one odd fellow, but a good kind of odd, the diva concluded. After all he did lift up her spirits. Being in the WWE had kind of indoctrinated her with the belief that only women like Stacy, Torrie, and Trish were considered truly beautiful. Twits they all were.

Twisting in her seat Victoria tried to locate the man once more. Maybe buy him a drink and just talk, he seemed of the decent sort. Her eyes scanned the room seeking him out, but he was nowhere to be found. Instead she spied some thing much better. Or rather someone.

~I will cry for you

I will cry for you

I will wash away your pain with all my tears

And drown your fear~

*Well, well, well if it isn't the itty-bitty bitchy Barbie's boy toy. * The raven-haired diva just could not resist. What better way to annoy said Barbie than to upset her sweet little poet? Her eyes glittered with malice as she slid off her stool to make her way to the back of the bar. As she got closer she could see him even more clearly. He was alone and looking sad. * Aww poor baby, Victoria will make it all better. or not. * She thought, evilly cackling in her mind. He was looking down into his beer and didn't seem to notice her approach until it was too late.

"Something on your simple little mind, Country?"

Jeff hardy heard that voice and cringed, "What the fuck do you want Victoria." He was in no mood to put up with her bullshit. He absently wondered if he could get his girlfriend to beat her up. Actually no need for wondering all he'd have to do is point at the psycho and Trish would pounce on her.

"Why fiddle dee dee I am positively shocked at your lack of good old fashion southern hospitality." Scarlet O'Hara had nothing on her.

The rainbow haired wrestler rolled his eyes and clenched his teeth. This woman annoyed the living shit out of him. Inwardly he tried to maintain a sense of calm by chanting the mantra * I will not kill this evil bitch; I will not kill this evil bitch. *

Victoria stood their in front of him watching as he desperately attempted to keep his cool. *This is too funny Zen master is having anger management problems. *

"You know what," Victoria said in a sickly sweet tone, "I can see that you are upset so I'm gonna sit right here and spread my special brand of sunshine till you feel better." She then proceeded to sit down and take her place directly across from Jeff.

Perfect just what he needed. *I will not kill this evil bitch, I will get Trish to do it and have Lita help. * "What do you want Victoria," he said with a heavy sigh, "I just want to be alone." Maybe if he tried to speak with her in a civil manner the she-bitch would see reason.

"Oh Carolina, are you and the inflatable doll having a lovers spat?"

Apparently not.

She saw the younger Hardy visibly bristled. Score another for Victoria and she was just getting started.

Jeff wasn't up to playing the southern gentleman tonight. He regarded her carefully for a few moments before he calmly spoke his next words. "Victoria do you want to screw my girlfriend?"

Her eyes widened in shock, "What?!"

"You heard me, but if you want I'll repeat. Do. You. Want. To. Fuck. Trish. Stratus." Jeff said slowly.

Victoria looked at him in outrage, "There is no way. How can you even think? You are such a pervert." She sputtered. She was so furious she could barely form a proper sentence.

"You see the thing is Vicky, can I call you Vicky? Doesn't matter, the thing is you are quite obsessed with my woman. Every time you speak or act, it involves Trish. She is your reason for being and you thrive off of her." He paused for a second to lean in closer to the young woman, his voice just a tad bit husky. "Between you and me Vicky I find it highly arousing. If you want I can talk to Trish and try to convince her to give you some play. You look like you need it and I can watch." And with that he let his eyes travel from her eyes to her cherry lips down her elegant neck to the swell of her breasts. He was getting a perverse pleasure out of seeing her squirm; he wasn't a complete boy scout after all.

Victoria was mortified. To have this man, this freak, suggest that she would want to.Oh My God it did not bear repeating. She glared at him hard and that smirk still remained on his lips. She stood to tower over him. She shook with rage.

* Gee looks like she's going to blow. Looks like she can dish it but she can't take it. * Jeff thought.

But she didn't.blow that is.

"You have no idea." Her voice filled with some unnamed emotion. Her eyes glistened with tears? She moved out of her seat and walked away.

"Well damn." Was all Jeff could say. He stared after her confused momentarily in what to do. Had he really made Victoria cry? The high flyer quickly pulled out his wallet to pay bill. He had to find Victoria and apologize. Guess he really was a boy scout after all.

~I will pray for you

I will pray for you

I will sell my soul for something pure and true

Someone like you~

He flew out of the into the warm Arizona air just in time to see the diva round a street corner.

"Victoria!" "Victoria!" he called. She studiously ignored him, walking faster all the while.

He quickly caught up to her, reached out, and yanked her around to face him. "Ow! Damn it let me go, Hardy." She cried.

And there they were, big fat tears streaming down her face. Who knew Victoria had feelings? He felt like shit. Stupid conscience.

"We have to talk- -

"Talk about what Hardy? I get it I really do. You won; you did what no one else has ever been able to do, you made me cry. Now leave me the fuck alone." With that she pulled out of his grasp and started to speed walk the hell away from the situation and from Jeff hardy.

"I'm sorry Vict---

Victoria stopped in her tracks to scream at the young man. Her face was a mask of fury and tears. "Sorry my ass! That's what you think? What you all think? That I have Trish Lust, is that it?"

"Oh no it's---

"Save it, Lord knows everything boils down to sex here." And once again Victoria made to stalk away from her unwanted company.

Jeez she wouldn't let him get in a single word. Jeff quickly caught up to the young woman. He had had enough. This time he physically dragged her into an empty alleyway and held her in place.

"God let me go, I swear I'll kick your countrified ass back to Mayberry or wherever the hell you're from." Victoria yelled.

"No, not until you tell me why you have issues with Trish."

By this time she had stopped crying because she was severely pissed.

"Gee I don't know," she ground out through clenched teeth as she struggled against her captor, " could be that you' re right and I just want her ever so badly. Damn this unrequited lust. Happy? Now let GO."

"No dice Vicky there's more to this than you want to admit and you want some one to know." He said struggling with her fight.

"Oh Dr. Freud do explain."

"It's simple you are a trained wrestler, granted I am stronger than you, but there are still tons of ways that you know to get out of the hold I got you in, yet here you still are."

What the hell? The little boy was implying that she wanted to be with him. To confide in him off all people? He must surely be joking. But still he had a point, why was she still with him? She could only come up with three important little words in response.

"Bite me ASSHOLE."

"Ah yes a defense mechanism. Well then I'll start." His relaxed tone was at complete odds the fact that he had a thrashing woman in his arms. "Do you know why I was in that bar Victoria?"

"No but it looks like you are going to share anyways despite my severe lack of caring."

Jeff chose to ignore that remark, "I was there because I couldn't believe that this is what my life had come to."

For the second time this night a man had said something that caught her off guard. She stopped fidgeting to listen. "Really what's your personal crisis? Can't decide which shade of pink to color your hair with?" Okay she was going to listen but that didn't mean she would make it easy.

Jeff to his credit ignored the barb and continued on. "No. It's just that I started out in this business all young and stupid---

"Really what's changed?" Victoria cut him off.

"Do you want to hear this or not?" came the frustrated reply.

"Oh sure I want to know what's got your panties in a twist, Carolina."

* Okay Jeff just talk you did make her cry. * The younger hardy was really damning his Boy Scout tendencies at this point.

" See the thing is Vicky. My optimism for this business is gone. Growing up this was the place that Matt and I dreamed of belonging to. The WWE makes all your dreams come true if your one of the few to make it. But it's a gilded cage, that's all it is. My every move is watched and regulated. My image twisted to appeal to twelve year olds. Stuck in the same goddamn matches because some higher up decided that that is what is best for me. This 'business' rips apart friendship and families. Trust me I know that one first hand. For what the almighty dollar? We all delude ourselves here. We make believe that the cheering fans make it all worth it. That every broken relationship, every twisted injury is worth the pain and isolation for a moment's glory. It's a drug almost as powerful as any of the ones you can get in the locker rooms. I don't give a damn any more. I look around and it all makes me sick."

Victoria stood stock still, shocked to say the least. He continued on speaking as if he'd forgotten she was there. His melodic voice was purring into her ear. She listened to his vocal inflections. She could hear the anger, despair, and even a sense of isolation in the tone of his speech. She listened to the content of his words. She didn't know he had thoughts like that. Hell she had doubted his ability to think. This night was full of surprises.

He'd finish talking and soon silence filled the alley. Maybe he was the one that really needed to talk. The raven-haired diva focused on the brick wall ahead of her before she spoke.

"I don't really hate her you know."

Her soft declaration was met by silence. Victoria continued on.

"I take all my anger out on her because I hate her ignorance and what she represents."

"The whole Barbie doll thing right?" Jeff put in.

"That's part of it - - -

" 'Cause you realize your judging her the way you hate other people judging you."

Her black hair swung as she shook her head in disagreement.

"YOU don't get it. I'm not as blind to Stratus as people would like to believe. I know her history. She started off as just another toy but then worked her ass off to get where she is now. I understand it; in a way I commend it."

She trailed off as she heard Jeff snort in disbelief.

"I do," Victoria insisted, "you don't see me trying to beat down Stacy's ass at every available opportunity do you? There'd be no challenge in it."

"Okay you got me there, so far I'm following your special brand of logic." She heard him say.

" You said it yourself we're like commodities to be used and thrown away at the earliest convenience. Like you I came here with a love for this business but it's fading. I hate being used but I know that is exactly what's happening. I'm not blonde and not pretty enough to be given a real chance."

Is that what Victoria thought of herself Jeff wondered.

"Victoria you are a very pretty woman." Jeff assured her. Why he was complementing his girlfriend's archenemy was beyond him.

"Golly thanks but you don't get it, Country."

The wrestler was getting a tad bit irritated, "Well then explain it Elvira."

"Ooh clever I never heard that before. Look I know I'm attractive, unlike our male counterparts you generally have to be to make it as a diva in this business. What I'm saying is that excluding Lita and a few others you don't get a fair shake unless your blonde and Barbie like. You hit this glass ceiling, look at what happened to Molly when she dyed her hair brown."

"Oh and her betrayals and nasty attitude had nothing to do with her downgraded popularity?"

"That's not the point," Victoria waved off, " a man can do something like that and still be able to remain popular look at The Rock or HHH. A woman does it and she becomes a joke and is demonized because she dares to leave her place, but enough of Feminism 101. What I'm trying to say is that my life energy is being sapped away. I'm the evil psycho bitch because I don't conform. I know I'm being trampled on and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Your girl benefits from it, but she doesn't understand does she?

~I will burn for you

Feel pain for you

I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart

I'll tear it apart~

Victoria turned around to face the high flyer. Up until that moment they hadn't noticed the intimate position they were in. For God knows how long he held her close. She had had her back to him and his arms were locked around her waist. As she shifted positions to face him, he barely loosened his grip. Pressed tightly against each other they were in some sort of standoff. They stared silently at one another, their gazes filled with an incredible intensity.

Finally he spoke his tone soft, "understand what?"

She gazed up into his clear green eyes, her voice was curiously child-like. "That this all temporary. It'll fade and so will she. They use her and build her up, but when the time comes they'll throw her away without remorse. Or worse they'll keep her around and turn her into a fool like they did with Moolah and Mae Young. She thinks she's invincible, she believes everything is great and that the glory will last." Victoria was searching his eyes with her own, trying to find something. Her hands reached up to gently caress his face. "It hurts doesn't it? It hurts to know that she doesn't understand."

~I will lie for you

I can steal for you

I will crawl on hands and knees until you see

You're just like me~

Jeff's eyes flashed with pain. Leaning further into her touch. "It hurts. That's why I was in the bar alone. Being around her around everyone only heightens the pain." his own hands now freely exploring her. "They don't get it. They say I'm depressed or conflicted, but really the problem is that I see and it hurts. She's like this bright shining sun, it brings happiness to the world, but it makes me sad because I know it'll burn out. Twisted way to look at it huh?

"No. just honest. it's how you feel."

~Violate all my love that I'm missing

Throw away all the pain that I'm living

You will believe in me

And I can never be ignored~

Jeff looked down at the woman his arms. He had said she was pretty before and he meant it, but right now she looked beautiful. He gazed into her eyes and kissed her. Victoria was a bit startled at the feel of his lips on hers, though she quickly relaxed into the pleasurable sensations this man was eliciting from her. He slowly backed her against the brick wall. Her hands wandered wonderfully over his body as he kissed down her neck. Victoria's clothing fell almost silently to the ground. The sound of a zipper echoed in the silent alley. Slowly carefully he picked her up and pinned her against the wall. Once more they gazed at one another before their moans overtook them. *****

Victoria hated Trish Stratus. At one point it had been purely ideological. Now it was personal. It positively sucked that he was with Stratus. Victoria didn't care if Trish had him first; the situation still bit.

~See your face every place that I walk in

Hear your voice every time I am talking

You will believe in me

And I will never be ignored~

As cliché as it may sound that night changed her life. She felt things from that man that she had previously thought impossible. The problem was they were seeing other people. They were supposed to hate each other. So she did the only thing she could do: she avoided him. Avoiding a coworker could be pretty damn hard, in the WWE it was damn near impossible. So Victoria tried to ignore him. She poured all her energy into her sweet Stevie. Who frustrated her to no end. Her boyfriend's touch only served to remind her of who he wasn't. She never before noticed how irritating and needy the man was. But she tried to make it work and was foiled at every attempt. Her mind would wander back to that night. Her ears constantly picked up on Jeff's soft melodic voice floating around backstage. Her eyes would fall on him as he strummed his guitar. He always stared back.

Jeff Hardy didn't know what he'd been thinking when he had sex with Victoria that night. He couldn't have been thinking. She was one of the most hated women in the WWE. He had to have been drunk. But no he had been sober and in his right mind when he had slept with her. Right mind yeah right, what dumb ass would cheat on Trish Stratus. Oh yeah him. With Victoria of all people. Honestly though as bad as he felt about cheating on Trish, he didn't regret Victoria. There's a whole lot more to her then people gave her credit for. She was beautiful, intelligent, and passionate. So was Trish for that matter, just in completely different ways. Jeff adored Trish, but his mind was the problem, because Victoria wouldn't stay off it. Was it truly possible to love two women at once? It couldn't remain this way, he had to make a choice. ***

~I would die for you~

She sat on the bed in her negligee nervous that he wouldn't come.

~I would kill for you~ He walked down the corridor eager to be with her, nervous that he would be seen.

~I will steal for you~

Her stomach was in knots. It was nights like these where she would almost curse the night she approached him.

~I'd do time for you~

He swore each and every time that this would be the last time he saw her.

~I would wait for you~

And then he would walk through that door.

~I'd make room for you~

And there she would be, expecting him.

~I'd sail ships for you~

This was wrong

~To be close to you~

They both knew it

~To be a part of you~

To feel him.

~'Cause I believe in you~

To be with her.

~I believe in you ~

She knew he had chosen Trish, married her in fact.

~I would die for you~

But he was weak and so was she.