I'm back!! I'm terribly sorry about the delay- *cries and hands out cookies*

I love all of you soooo very much for the reviews! I didn't think anyone would actually like this! *grins really huge* Anyway, since I was such a moron and left ya'll just wondering I suppose an update is in order!!

Ah yes, and look out for a new fanfiction (Inuyasha) but me....... Lol *beats self over the head because of problems with RK fics* Oh and about my RK fics.......Uhmmm I'm turning into Shin-no-shibo, writing stories but rarely updating.......^-^;;; I'm really sorry you guys all I can say is to expect random updates. =P

Here's how the layout of the chapters will go.


Author Notes

Title of the story

--Title Chapter

*song lyrics*

+short piece of writing+


Ending Author Notes



First Cut

 --I tried to kill the pain

Am I too lost

To be saved?

Am I too lost.......?

-"My Tourniquet" 

By : Evanescence

Steel glints, in the moonlight,

A dark-haired girl,

Is lost in her grief.......

The loneliness is suffocating,

It swallows her whole.......

And though her friends,

Surround her-

They don't know,

They can't see.......

Her friends are sleeping,

Eyes closed tight,

And nobody notices,

The steel-bladed knife.......

-Kitten Kisses

(hmmm *looks at writing* Weird. I like the last four lines though =P )


The sun glared brightly overhead as the small ragtag group readied themselves for a long journey. They were always moving, Kagome noticed. Going here, trudging there, or going back to the village.

They weren't far from the Bone Eater's well, but Kagome had just come back from the future, and she wasn't going to return anytime soon. Inuyasha had been talking about some "ultimately powerful youkai" that had destroyed several villages in its own attempt to find shards of the Shikon no Tama.

Kagome shook her head and attempted to stuff her sleeping back into her incredibly large backpack. She growled at the backpack in annoyance when the sleeping back fell back out in a heap on the ground.

"Feh, stupid girl," Inuyasha growled, noticing Kagome's obvious troubles. He picked up the bag and stuffed it into the backpack, closing the clasp swiftly. "That's how it's done," he smirked.

"Whatever," Kagome said, rolling her eyes. "But thank you anyway Inuyasha."

"Kagome!" Shippo bounded into her lap, eyes wide. "You almost sounded like Inuyasha with all that growling!" he put a small paw on her forehead, feeling for a temperature. "Are you alright?"

Kagome grinned as Inuyasha grumbled 'stupid brat' under his breath. "Nah I'm fine Shippo," she told the kitsuné kindly. "Would you see if you can find Sango please? I saw her up and around, but I've got to finish getting the rest of this cleaned up."

"Yes ma'am!" he mock-saluted, scurrying off to find the demon exterminator.


Sango, meanwhile, sat in the middle of the woods thinking. Her day was already beginning to.......suck, as Kagome would have put it. A small smile formed on her face as she pictured Kagome saying those words.

'This day will be a very long one,' she thought to herself. 'I can just feel it. More traveling, oh joy.'

Not that staying back at the village was any better. There wasn't anything to do after Kagome left for home. Inuyasha got moody, Shippo was lonely, and Houshi-sama just became even more annoying than he already was.

'Stupid hentai!' she thought to herself angrily. 'Not that it should matter.......I.......It is my fault that Kohaku....... that he is under Naraku's control, that my father is gone, that the village is destroyed. I'm supposed to be smart! If I'm so very smart, then why the hell didn't I stop Naraku to begin with? Why didn't I see through his little scheme?'

The 19-year-old young woman sighed and set her head in her hands.

'Maybe I do deserve everything....... No. Not maybe.......I know I do!'

"Sango!" a small voice called through the trees. "Sango- ah, there ya are!" Shippo bounded up to her and settled himself in her lap. His big dewy eyes looked into hers cutely. "Kagome wants you to come! We're going to leave here pretty soon." His tail swished lightly against her hand that was settled in her lap. "Why're you here all by yourself?" he asked her quietly. "Isn't it scary?"

"No," Sango said shortly. "I like being alone. It helps me to clear my thoughts."

~Dontcha mean it helps you to make things more complicated for yourself?~

'Grrrrr.......Shut up and mind your own business! You know perfectly well that it was my fault!'

"Uhmm.......Sango is something the matter?" Shippo asked, chewing on his small nails. "You look sorta, I dunno.......mad? Is your hand bothering you?"

"No it's nothing. Hurry along, I'll be right behind you." Sango offered the kawaii little kitsuné a smile, and Shippo immediately obeyed, smiling back.

'I can't believe they sent him after me! Do they think I'm some kind of weakling that needs protecting every other second?'

~No it's more like.......~

'I know, they still think it's my fault. In fact, they're probably making sure I don't go and kill a bunch of people in my desperation.'

She glared at her feet.

~That's not true and you know it! They're your friends, they care about you!~

'Uh-huh, sure, and that's why I'm here right now. All by myself.'

~You sent Shippo away~ her conscious pointed out. ~So it's your own fault there's nobody here. First of all, you didn't ask anyone and second-- ~

'Hah! They wouldn't have come even if I asked. Except maybe that hentai monk. And he'd have only come to get a good grope or two in.'

~Well you might be right about that last part. But they're still your friends.~

'Maybe. Maybe not. I'm just a stupid  girl who did a lot of stupid things and now I have to pay for it.'

~With what? Your life, your soul?~

'Oh I don't know. Traveling with a group of people who probably can't stand me anymore, now that they know the truth.......'


"What's keeping Lady Sango?" Miroku asked Kagome quietly.

"She said she wanted to clear her thoughts!" Shippo chirped in. "She seemed kinda mad or something." He jumped up onto Kagome's  shoulder and peered at Miroku from the other side of her head.

"Feh, she's probably off whining about yesterday," Inuyasha scoffed.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku glared.

"What?" he asked.

"Sit!" Kagome said darkly. "You're such a jerk! How can you say something like that!"

"I just did!" Inuyasha yelled, his words muffled by dirt.


"Really Inuyasha, how can you have no feelings?" Miroku huffed, looking skyward. "I will remember to pray for your soul."

"Feh. Whatever."

"Hopeless!" Kagome muttered. "Totally hopeless!"


**Way Back Flashback**

Sango sniffed, her palm over her mouth. "I didn't mean to, it was an.......I'm so sorry.......okaa-san......."

Small feet pattered across the floor, and a light knock on her shoji was heard.

"Come in," she mumbled, and a small boy with black hair walked in,  stopping in front of her, his eyes wide and sweet. The dark brown orbs radiating kindness.

"Sango, are you alright?" he asked gently.

"It's all my fault," a twelve year old Sango whimpered. "All my, all my fault......."

"No sis, it wasn't your fault." Kohaku scooted closer to her, twisting his head upside-down to get a look at his sister's face. "Okaa-san......." he shook his head lightly. "There was nothing you could have done."

"But it was my fault!" she cried, her head snapping up. "I didn't do anything! I did nothing right! Now both of them are gone and it's all my fault!


"No 'buts' Kohaku! You know it was my fault! If I had been at home like I was supposed to have been, instead of sparring with the village boys, she would still be here! I'm never using this again!" she yelled, flinging her Hiraikotsu across the room. It landed loudly on the floor, leaving a slight dent. "It's cursed! It made me kill them! It made me.......It......."

"It didn't Sango!" Kohaku insisted. "You did the only thing you could-"

"That's right. It was my fault. It's my fault they're gone. Now because of my stupidity I'll never see either of them again."

"But what about your Hiraikotsu?" he asked, pointing to the boomerang.

"I'm never using it again! Weapons only kill, they help nothing. Do you understand? They don't help anyone or anything! They're only instruments used to kill others'."

Kohaku sighed and ruffled Sango's hair with his small hand. "I'm not blaming you for it," he said softly, leaving the room.


Sango looked down at her trusted pet, the birthday gift she'd received at eight years old from her parents. From both of them.......She picked up the tiny youkai kitty and hugged her close.

Kirara rubbed her nose against Sango's cheek, mewing softly.

Suddenly, a rock hit her window, a loud 'clunk' sounding through the room. She put down the tiny kitty and peered out of the window.

Kirara put her front paws on the window sill and looked down at the people below.

"Bitch!" one young man yelled. "You killed her!"

"It's not even a girl! Look at the way it dresses!"

"I think wench is more like it!" another shouted. "I can't believe you had the gall to kill your own mother!"

"And while she was in the family way too!" a woman glared. "How dare you!"

"Yeah!" they shouted, yelling and grumbling some more.

But Sango heard none of it. She shut the panels around the window quickly and picked up her small kitty. "I'm not wanted here anyway," she sniffed into her cat's fur. "I'm leaving......."


"I don't care if it's a dumb idea. I'm dumb. I'm stupid. So it fits me." She started packing her things into a gunny sack. "I killed her and it's all my fault. I'm gonna leave her and I'm never looking back." She slung the small sack over her shoulder and picked up Kirara, settling her on her shoulder. "Let's go," she mumbled, stepping out of the back shoji, never once looking back.

A small boy with brown eyes and dark hair watched her leave from his bedroom window. "Ah sis.......it wasn't your fault and I'm not going to blame you for it......." He glanced down sadly at the floor. "It was my fault......."


Ohhhhhhhh........*looks at the newly written chapter* Interesting, interesting. So, how WAS Sango's mother's death, Kohaku's fault? Hmmm? Hmmm? Huh? Huh? Lol

And why would Sango think that her friends' wouldn't like her anymore? Hmmmm guess ya'll will have to wait for the next chapter! ^-^x

Ahhh the joys of snow days.......hehe This is the second one I've had this week! I just had one yesterday! But I think I'd like to go to school tomorrow. Maybe a two-hour delay?

Anywayz, thank you all *so* much for reading! I *really* appreciate it! I didn't think anyone was going to like this fic! Anyway, I'm going to start another one (as I said).......i'm not sure of the title yet (as I'm a moron and haven't thought of one) but my muse *hugs her muse* Has thought of an awesome idea. *whispers* My muse is a baby cow.......if you wanna see her email me and I'll email you a picture =P  My email's in my profile. ^-^

*candy to the reviewers* You guys made my day! Oh it's been so long since I've done review responses I need shot. XD Just haven't had time for them recently really. Hehe. Okies onto the "Personalies"!

Personalies!(otherwise known as review responses)

Meta Lise- Ah thanks I'm guessing you liked it at least a little? *hugs first reviewer*

Unique Starfish- *dies* An awesome writer from the RK section is reviewing my lil' ol ficcie? *glomps starfish* THANK YOU!!

Skye Silvereye- Hey girl! It's been forever since I've talked with you! How've ya been? Thankies sooo much for reviewing my little story!! Hehe Yeah Sango would prolly be to strong-willed but it's a fanfiction, lol so I suppose that can happen. =) WooT. And if it can't then uhhh I guess it can't. ah well. Hey drop me a line sometime! ^-^x

Kenshinobsessed- Do you really think it's sad? That's exactly what I'm going for! Thanks!

Junyortrakr- Well I've read lots of fics out there where kagome ends up cutting herself. *sighs* Usually they're okay I've just never understood why kagome would do something like that. I mean, even if inuyasha is a jerk, that's not a very good excuse. ^^;; Thanks for reviewing!!

Kaylana- Hmmm? What's that mean! Lol! Sorry it took so long to get this out, I am very lazy and sorta x_x about writing. *sighs* I'll try to update this more often, okies?

Katrina-chan- Hey! I loved your review and I'm sooooooooooo happy you liked it! I have to apologizing for making this chapter come out so late though! I didn't want for that to happen but I sorta forgot just a little…*cringes* Anyway, your review was very fun to read! (and long too! ^_________^) No flames yet! *Grins* Thanks for the support though! *hands a cookie* Did I ever review for your fic? I can't remember! Let me know if I haven't and I'll go do that!

Yasha1302- I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading! Review again? *puppy eyes*

WhiteTigerLilly- Hi! Are you the same whitetigerlilly that used to review my older inu stories? If so, WELCOME BACK!! Ah that's terrible that your friend cuts herself! And that you used to! *hugs* You're such an awesome and faithful reviewer! I'm glad you're still hanging around in the IY section! ^-^x *cookies*

Kathryn MB Denson- Hello! Don't worry I'm not gonna end the story! Well I plan to, who can say if I'll actually do it? Reviews help though! Lol. Thanks for reviewing!! ^-^x

SakuraSango- Hey thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it so far! Was this chapter ok or was it too stupid?

VenusGirl- I'm glad you like depressing things!! ^-^x And I'm glad you enjoyed my story! Did you like this chapter?

White Sango- My last reviewer! Hey I've read some of your stuff (can't remember if I reviewed or not) but it's good! Thanks for reading this AND reviewing! Your review was very interesting! Ouch! I'm glad my hand hasn't been shut in a car door! (Though this afternoon I shut MYSELF in the front door) I'm such a klutz. Lol ^^