Some lives are not worth saving. At least that was how I felt about my own life. The end of the war had come; it had been a long, hard fought battle. One that I had welcomed. But now that it was over, I had no purpose in life. Sure, I was the boy-who-lived, but I did not want to be that. I only wanted to be me, or at least find out who me really was. Nothing had been, as it had seemed. The one true saving grace, that was much a blessing now, as it was a curse then, was that I no longer had the scar that Voldemort had placed upon my forehead. That truly despised scar, I hated that thing, at the same time, it was a saving grace in my life. Not for the fame it brought me, but for the way it helped me know just what horrors Voldemort was up to.

The ending feast was beginning. Ron had just told me, he had come into the room, told me I needed to go. I was not ready to face the prying eyes again, face all the looks, some being pure envy, others just thankful that the war was over. What I truly hated was the looks of pity that came my way. This was something I did not want or need. I hated having the feeling of being watched, looked after, and admired for something I had no control over when I was yet a year and half old. They said I was powerful, what do they know? Nothing. It was not a matter of power, and I'll still swear it today, it was a matter of a love for son, my mother was the true hero, but no one wanted to acknowledge this. It was only Harry Potter.

I truly despise that name.

The window was open as I gazed out into the night; sitting on the windowsill, much like my first night in this castle. Exams were all over, and I found myself wanting nothing more, than just to have my childhood back. Something that I had been deprived of. Something I could never have, and that was all I ever wanted. It was something unattainable, which made it all the more desirable. I stared at the green potion bottle; it was sitting across from me. I had found the potion, I brewed the damnedable thing, and it would give me what I wanted. At least a chance of something, a glimpse of hope, at least for a family. I only had to be brave enough to take it.

The bottle was cool to the touch, the glass holding the innocence that I longed to have back, innocence that was taken from me, beaten out of me. That was something that I never truly had, I swirled the silver potion around, and it looked black inside the green bottle. It was so tempting, so very tempting indeed. Putting the bottle away in my robes, I heaved a sigh, it was an escape. I knew that. I had an out, if my life did not get better. Pushing my way off the windowsill I headed out of the seventh year dorm. Past the common room, and down the stairs that would lead into the Great Hall.

I could hear the laughter, funny how that grated on my nerves as I stood beyond the doors. I was rooted to the spot. Not moving. Placing my hand back in the pocket, I caressed the smooth glass; a shiver ran from my hand, up my arm, and over that hurting heart. With the comfort of some peace I opened the door and headed into the Great Hall for the last time. I did not want the attention it caused, but it never failed, even after a month of having defeated Voldemort. The stares still continued. I sat down at the very end of the table, furtherest away from everyone. Furtherest away from the head table as possible.

No one moved to sit near me; even Ron and Hermione had kept their distance. That was fine with me, we had grown apart this year, not fault of their own, they had been in love, and I felt like a third wheel. I did not want to draw attention; I wanted to be far away from all of this. Pumpkin juice swirled in the glass, it was one of my past times now, swirling pumpkin juice, it was a lot better trying to tell the future out of something one was drinking than to look blindly inside a crystal ball. Glancing around the hall, it dampened my mood further, a lot of students were not even here, and the last battle took place at Hogwarts. Something I never had wanted. How all the teachers survived was beyond me.

Professor Snape was just looking at me. The usual sneer of malice gone, it had been that way for the last month. He did not have the dark mark anymore, just like my scar, it was gone. I noticed the last past week, he had taken to following me around. Something I'm sure Dumbledore put him up too. All the teachers were more attentive when it came to me. Even the way Dumbledore was looking at me now showed proof of that. Not wanting to eat, I sat the juice back down and walked back out of the hall. For me I wanted to walk away from it all.