A/N This little fic came to me spontaneously out of the blue. All the characters are altered in this fic and their names are changed, so you cant kill and/or sue me. This is purely for entertainment. Be sure to keep in mind that it IS a parody.

Disclaimer!: I don't own Silent Hill in anyway possible. And any similarity to anyone else's characters is unintended. (- Just in case ^-^) And I suppose I DO own some of the characters in this fic, so NO STEALING! :D

The Reverse Will

James Scanderlund gazed into his reflection in the grimy mirror. He slowly ran his cold fingers through his dirty blonde hair and thought to himself,

Damn I'm sexy.

His train of thought wandered back to why he was in this bathroom in the first place: He had to urinate. Yet one glace at the dirt clogged, rusted urinals and he changed his mind. The restroom seemed to have been neglected for about 40 years, built then left to rot. The walls were covered in graffiti and one sink even seemed to have blood leaking from it. James vaguely wondered if the plumbing worked but when he tried to turn the handle, it stuck fast.

James leaned away from the mirror and stepped outside. The sun outside was bright, almost blinding. He squinted as he made his way back to his parked car, telling himself once again why he was here.

Marie, are you really here?

He paused outside the door of his old, beat-up car and pulled a crumpled note out of his pocket. It read:

'James dear,

I be at Quiet Hill now, waiting for you. Why didn't you ever take me there again? Oh how I love this town, it's so prettyful. Anywhos, I be waitin' for U @ our special place. You no where it is. ; ) Come ASAP!

~Marie - xxx'

James stared at the letter, a look of pure hatred plastered on his face.

"The dead can't possibly write letters," he reassured himself, "Marie's dead. I finally killed her just a week ago."

James despised his wife. The only reason he married her was the fact that he was 'under the influence' when he met her. Two days after the wedding he became aware of himself once again. Ever since then, he attempted many ways of getting her out of his life. He finally decided that the only way to get rid of the leach was to kill her. After many failing attempts, he managed to poison her with pesticides in her ramen noodles which put her in a serious condition which lead to a coma. She eventually died in a hospital a few days later. That one week without Marie was the absolute best seven days in James' life. Now she dared to come back from the dead.

James didn't doubt the letter at all. It was printed in her usual sloppy writing and horrible way of speech. James decided that he should just leave her in that town to rot, but a lingering thought in the back of his head forced him to seek her. He did not want to take any chances of her finding him once again. He had some unfinished business to attend to; he was going to rid of her once and for all.

James wadded up the note and shoved it back into his pocket. He reached into his car and retrieved a map of Quite Hill.

Our special place… What did she mean by that? Does she mean Poppywater Park? The place where I attempted to shove her over the railing and into the endless abyss of Tuluki Lake? Probably, It's worth a shot anyway.

To James' deep agitation, the road in front of him was blocked. In frustration, he pulled out the map to check.

I'm in the right place, why the hell is the road blocked? Oh screw it, there's a path into town I can take.

James folded up the map and stuffed it into his back pocket. He turned and made his way down the old stone steps that lead to a forested trail. He walked slowly down the trail, wondering to himself why the fog was getting thicker. Soon, it grew so thick that he could only see about 10 feet in front of him. He had a nagging feeling that someone or something was watching him. He began to hear strange, choked noises. James panicked and increased his pace. Soon, the noises had him sprinting blindly down the trail, the annoying urge to urinate still tugging at him.

He eventually ran straight into a rusted iron fence in his blind run to security. He hastily threw open the creaky gate and propelled himself into a large, empty space, making sure to close the gate behind him. He rested to allow his breathing to regular itself, then walked into the dense fog in front of him. He soon realized that he was in a graveyard… wonderful. James made his way uneasily through the rows of tombstones, hoping to run into another gate sometime soon.

Suddenly, while he was stepping silently among the protruding slabs, a girl launched herself out from behind a nearby grave and clung to James' leg. James released a high-pitched, girlish scream of pure terror and fell backwards, conking his head on a tombstone.

"OUCH! Damn it all!" Exclaimed James as he sat up and rubbed the back of his head, trying to focus blurred vision upon the abomination that attacked him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" said the dark haired women as she released her grip and backed up pathetically against a tombstone. "I thought you were my mommy."

James groaned as he regained his footing. "Do I look like your Mom?! I hope you're happy to know that I don't have to piss anymore." He brushed dust and dirt off of his clothing and turned his attention back to the girl. "Who are you? And why are you looking for your mom in a cemetery?"

The girl stood up and regained a regal pose. "I'm Angelica and I'm looking for my mother. She said she would be here, so I'm going to find her. My Dad and brother were supposed to be here too, but I can't find them."

James blinked in confusion. "May I suggest that you search elsewhere other then this cemetery?"

Angelica frowned. "I'm going to! I'm on my way to town… she might be there."

"I see, I'm on my way there too."

Angelica seemed immediately interested. "Really? Who are you looking for?"

"How did you know I was looking for someone?" Said James cautiously, "Anyway, I've come here to ki- find my wife." He faked a large, cheesy grin. "Do you know the closest route into town?"

"Sure I do," Angelica said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Just keep walking straight and there is a path that will lead you all the way to town."

"Thanks." James replied as he turned around and started in the other direction.


James turned around to face her.

"There's something about that place, It's not right! Its dangerous!"

James smiled. "That'll make it all the easier for me." With that, he continued on his way.

Angelica furrowed her brow with a bemused look upon her face. "Well, Good luck to you." She called after him as he disappeared through the fog.

James wandered aimlessly through the fog.

How big IS this place?

Continuing in a straight line, he found another old gate, pried it open, and continued on his merry way. This path wasn't as narrow as the trail on way here. James decided not to take any risks and sprinted along he path, ignoring the rustles of something pursuing him. He came to the conclusion that singing a song would somehow aide his spirits and magically make the thing stop following him.

James broke out into song, "Daisy! Daisy! Give me your answer due. I'm half crazy all for the love of you! It wont be a STYLSIH marriage! I can't afford a carriage, but you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two!"

Well, His spirit was crushed by the annoying song now stuck in his head, but at least the thing stopped following him. He vaguely wondered if he even sang it right as he stepped out on to a paved road.

Great, I'm here. Now onward to the park!

While walking along the road, he hummed the Daisy tune, eventually breaking into song again.

"Daisy! Daisy!- ACK! Damned accursed song from hell!" He stopped abruptly in the cross-section of the street and noticed a large red stain in the road. He quickly looked up in time to observe a humanoid that faintly resembled a burned stripper in a straightjacket wobbling through the fog and out of sight.

"What the? What is up with THAT? OMG, What the FUCK is with this stain!?" Ignoring all obvious signs of danger, James ran after the stripper.

After a long run following bloodstained streets, he came across a blocked off construction site. Normally, he would have shrugged it off and turned around, but something was emitting an annoying static noise from under the bridge. Determined to destroy the source of the noise, he stepped between two large pieces of plywood and searched around. He found a small red radio enthusiastically blaring static. As he reached down and picked up the annoying thing, the burned stripper menacingly pulled itself off the ground and gurgled at James.

James jumped in terror. Missing the obvious wooden plank, he hurled the hissing radio at the stripper's head, knocking it out cold. He violently kicked and stomped the burned atrocity until all signs of life left it.

"What the hell is that? It's definitely not a human!" James bent over and picked up the now quiet radio and eased himself through the plywood. The radio suddenly started blaring static again causing him to drop it in surprise. The radio hissed and the sound of someone speaking became apparent.

"……………………………...Jame.………………………..you sai………………me her…………………………..at the……………………………….amned………………….lov…………….hote……………..ake…….please……………….Ja……………ple………..James…."

"Shut up!" Yelled James as he stomped the radio with the heel of his boot. The device crackled then died. "Forsaken radio." James uttered as he picked up a piece of plywood for protection against the ravenous strippers then made his way back towards town.


A/N What did ya think? Be sure to review, I'll continue the story if I get some reviews. =)