Mommy Doesn't Know Me
By: Shima And Tempis
I am Momiji Sohma, fifteen years old. I live a happy life and I get to go to school with my friends. Especially my good friend Tohru. It's nice to eat lunch with them, even if Kyou does hit me whenever I hug Tohru, or Yuki calls me childish. I like that. It's simple. No complicated part of it. My life is simple, and happy.
But Mommy doesn't know me. Not really, anyway. I can pass her in the street and she'll pretend I'm not there. Either that or she really won't notice. Daddy gets mad if she ever does see me, and I have to go apologize. I never mean anything by it. A simple hello would probably make Daddy go crazy.
So I stay out of her way.
Mommy doesn't know me. She knows my name, my age, everything about me. But she doesn't know me. I passed her in the hallway of Daddy's work once. She doesn't know I'm Daddy's or hers. She doesn't know I'm anyone's.
"Momiji, shouldn't you be going home? I'm sure your mother is worried about you." She said to me, with my sister at her side, peeking out at me and knowing that something's not right. I have a sister, but Mommy doesn't know.
"I was just going to visit a friend. I'll be home soon, I promise." I don't tell her that her home is mine. Because it isn't anymore. Now I live with Akito. And Haru. And Hatori. They're my family. I'm theirs.
"All right. Goodnight, Momiji." She'll say, and then make her way to Daddy's office. My sister will look at me one more time, knowing something isn't right, and then they'll disappear.
I don't blame Mommy for what I am. I don't really blame anyone. Kyou and Haru both call this a curse. But I thought I thought Tohru would make them realize that it's nice to be "cursed." Not bad, not bad at all.
"What I regret most is that that thing came from my body."
I remember that day, when she did forget. When my world crumbled around me but I couldn't understand why. Daddy told me the day after that Mommy didn't know me anymore. That I had to hide.
"Just so she can be happy. You want Mommy to be happy, don't you?"
I did want her to be happy. I didn't want anyone to be sad because of me. So I did leave. I went away and I wouldn't go back. Daddy packed my things in secret, so Mommy wouldn't know I'd lived there. My sister took the room I was in, so it made sense that it looked lived-in. Daddy tells me how Mommy's doing every day that I talk to him. He told me about my sister's first steps. He told me about her first words. He told me when Mommy cried out my name without knowing it in her sleep.
Mommy doesn't know me. Part of her does, part of her knows. But that part Hatori covered up, so she wouldn't know on the outside. Hatori expected me to be angry with him afterward, but I wasn't. It was his job to do those things, so I decided that it was okay.
Mommy won't know me. Akito told me that she disliked me, that she hated me, but I don't think so. Akito likes to say things like that, to scare the Sohma family. But I'm not scared of him. Not me.
Tohru got really sad when I told her about Mommy. I didn't want her to be sad, so I made it seem like I was happy.
Why, Mommy, does everyone get to be happy except for me? What did I do? How did I go wrong, instead of my sister? I don't blame her.
I blame myself. Every time Mommy said my name and then had to think it over. Every time I accidentally ran into her. I blame myself for it. No one else.
Mommy doesn't know me, Daddy. Why doesn't she? I asked Daddy once. He told me she did know me, I just wasn't her son anymore. I didn't understand it then, so I asked Hatori. What Hatori said to me wasn't what Daddy said. I didn't ask Daddy why he lied to me, and I never have. I don't want him to be sad.
Akito didn't get sad when I told him about Mommy. He already knew, so I guessed he'd already gotten sad. His tears were over; I got there a bit too late to see them. So now he was happy, a happy Sohma. I thought that being jovial and being a Sohma fell hand in hand, because I always had fun with my family. But then Then Mommy didn't know me.
Everyone is happy. Everyone but me.