DISCLAIMER: X-Men Evolution and all characters therein are the property of Marvel Comics/Entertainment, Inc. This fic is written for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrights in any way.
A/N: At this time this story is only planned as what you see with no followup or additional chapters. If there's a demand and more of a story comes to me that may change. This story is all for laughs and, though it involves kissing, it's not intended as a romance. Feedback of any kind is always welcome via the review option here, AIM to Missmishka or email to email@example.com. Thanks & Enjoy the fic.
An Effective Method
I don't remember when or where I heard it. I just know that at some point in my life the idea was planted in my subconscious. This theory of the way to shut someone up without resorting to arguing, a total tantrum or stomping childishly from the room was whirling around in my brain.
At this particular moment it's a theory that merits testing as I stand here in the garage at the institute listening to Logan lecture. It's hard to believe anyone would be complaining about Logan of all people having too much to say on a topic, but he was like really on a roll here. He just kept going on and on and on about the teeny tiny little ding I accidentally put on the X-Van while driving under his supervision for the second time.
Ok, so maybe I did kinda get off the road a bit and take out a mailbox, but it was only my fourth time behind the wheel! I mean, it like totally isn't my fault I can't get any practice in to actually improve my driving skills 'cause everyone around here avoids me like the plague when I even think of asking someone over eighteen to let me take 'em for a spin. It's a total conspiracy and so not my fault.
Even if it was my fault does it really deserve a diatribe like this?
I mean, I'm hearing all kinds of kinda depressing things in all he's saying. Like that eye roll inducing 'Driving is a privilege and not a right.' 'You cannot rely on your phasing to get you out of every tricky situation you find yourself in while driving. What would you do if you're on a collision course with something and you've tapped out your powers?' Then there was the very insulting groan of 'Who in their right mind gave you this learner's permit?!" And another really bad omen was the fact that he's addressing my solely as 'Pryde' with total sternness instead of the 'kid' or 'half pint' he usually calls me with reluctant indulgence in his tone.
All signs are definitely pointing to an end of my driving privileges after today's outing and it is an utter injustice that that's the case because of one little accident.
Ok, so those other times he's mentioning in his lecture did kinda happen, but I phased through everything I was gonna hit and didn't put so much as one itty bitty little scratch on the vehicle before that stupid mailbox. Everything he's saying just goes to show that I need more practice so I can actually pass the driving test and get my license.
Unfortunately he is not letting me get a word in edgewise to say something along those lines and I am really kinda starting to fume. I mean I am like so close to having myself a major hissy fit then stomping off in a total huff to my room, but I really think this situation calls for some maturity and if I wanna portray myself as all kinds of responsible childish tantrums will not do.
That's where this theory keeps coming in. I don't recall any specifics about it or the context in which I came to know of it, but the gist comes to mind. It's a simple idea that theorizes if you really really wanna totally shut someone up then the method to use is to kiss them right smack dab on their yammering mouth.
So at this point I'm toning out what he's saying now and just focusing consideringly on his lips. Aside from the fact that they're Logan's there was nothing special about them. It's just a mouth and I could totally kiss is if I wanna test this theory.
It'd be just like kissing anyone. Like kissing Lance.
I like kissing Lance.
I really don't think I wanna like kissing Mr. Logan, though. Not that I'm likely to like it, I mean kissing the Wolverine … it's not something I'm doing for pleasure here. This lecture is showing no signs of stopping on it's own and I'm kinda growing desperate to make him stop before he actually comes right out and says 'no more driving for you.'
And desperate times notoriously call for desperate measures, so … here goes.
"Wha - " he breaks off whatever he'd been saying to exclaim in surprise as a press myself against him, raise my hands to grip the back of his neck and close my blue eyes tightly.
Whatever else he'd been planning to say was effectively cut off by my open mouth closing over his. Determined to really silence him I use the fact that his lips are parted from speaking to my advantage and totally let him have it. I lean my whole body against his, slide my fingers up into his dark hair and thrust my tongue into his mouth to poke at his in a way Lance always seems to like.
The fact that his tongue doesn't respond to or mimic my actions fails to really register as I'm busy realizing a few things.
Like Logan's hair is really silky and feels nice around my fingers.
And his lips are firm yet with a softness to them that makes my lips wanna cling.
And he tastes really good. I can detect the minty flavor of his mouthwash and toothpaste as well as a vaguely familiar tang that I can't identify so I run my tongue around his mouth trying to decipher the taste.
And those scraggly whiskers of stubble along his jaw tickle in a surprisingly nice kinda way. A way that makes me like … tingle just a bit and causes me to rub my face against his to feel the prickly friction of that stubble even more.
And for once his big muscular body isn't totally dwarfing my petite frame as I'm all pressed up against it. In fact, it's almost like we kinda fit together. There's no real straining to make up for a major height difference like with Lance 'cause despite the fact that his personality make him seem like ten feet tall, Logan's really about the same height as I am.
Just as I'm getting kinda wrapped up in the 'WOW' effect of kissing Logan, it becomes very clear that he isn't feeling a similar effect. In fact, he's not even participating. At that particular moment his big strong hands are clamping down on my shoulders and he's kinda really pushing me away to break the kiss. He then proceeds to hold me firmly at arm's length as if afraid I'm gonna jump at him again and with a blush heating my cheeks I reluctantly open my eyes to see if this method worked.
To call him shocked would be a phenomenal understatement. He's totally staring at me like I've suddenly grown another head or just announced I'm a Martian and his mouth opens and shuts a few times like in his mind he's saying stuff but there's just no sound coming out. Or maybe he's doing one of those fish out of water impersonations people tend to do when they've really been surprised.
After like an eternity of whatever he was doing, he cautiously removes his hands from my shoulders and steps back with them still upraised to hold me back should I move toward him. Once assured I wasn't gonna like jump his bones or something, he shakes his head does the mouth opening and closing thing one more time, scratches the underside of his jaw with a curious expression on his face then turns abruptly on his heel and leaves the garage.
As I watch him walk away - by the way, how is it I never noticed until just then that those jeans he wears really show off what a firm sexy butt he's got? – it sinks in that I did it! Without resorting to childish measures like holding my breath until he stopped lecturing, I stopped his lecturing!
Ok, so I'm not particularly capable of speech myself at this moment as I'm coming to terms with the realization that Mr. Logan is kind of a hottie, but that's not the point. The mission was to silence the one who'd been talking and Logan had been doing all the talking and I totally zipped his lips. With a simple little kiss inspired by some obscure little piece of info that suddenly sprang to the forefront of my thoughts, I Kathryn 'Kitty' 'Shadowcat' Pryde totally silenced the infamous Wolverine!
Talk about WOW.
He probably thinks I've got a mad crush on him or something now, but … I can so live with that. I mean those means totally justified that end. And it was like all in the sake of science or research or some such junk 'cause I was testing a theory.
And after that highly successful test I must say that kissing a chatterbox kicked major A as an effective method of shutting up said chatterbox.
I have so gotta tell this to the others!
Finally leaving the garage and heading into the mansion to round up the girls, I wonder briefly if the same method could be used to get myself out of those grueling training sessions of Logan's.
Be worth a try.
With a big smile I make a mental note to totally try it sometime. I then get a bit distracted from my mission to share my newfound knowledge with my teammates as I suddenly start thinking thoughts of another kiss and maybe him actually participating in the next one.
If there is a next one.