Hi all. This is the second Fake AU fanfiction I'm putting up. Don't hold you're breath for a third. (j/k) It's a Drake/JJ & Dee/Ryo Fake fic that's very happily AU. But it's happily AU, not unhappily AU. It's cheesy and cutsey, but it's got some really funny moments. Enjoy.


PS: No, I don't own these characters. I just borrowed them. Don't sue me, I don't have any money.


An AU Fake Fanfic

"Drake. Drake, wake up." JJ, fully dressed, gave his partner a shake. Drake lay asleep on JJ's bed. The covers slightly lower than his waist showing that he wasn't wearing any clothing. "Drake." JJ gave his partner another shake. Drake groaned and drew the pillow over his head. "Wake up, lazy bones." JJ pulled on the pillow, managing to get ahold of it after a short struggle. "We have work, Drake."

"Why can't I sleep longer?" Drake complained. JJ hit his butt with the pillow. Drake sat up with a shout. "Hey!"

"We have to go to work." JJ told him.

Drake glanced at the clock. "In two hours! It's 6 AM!"

"You have to go back to your own apartment to change clothes." JJ reminded him.

"That won't take me two hours." Drake protested.

"I'll cook some breakfast."

"I'm hungry." Drake stated, but he grabbed JJ's wrist and pulled him onto his lap. "Not neccessarily for food...but hungry..."

JJ flushed. "Drake!"

"Here." Drake whispered huskily in his ear. Then began nibbling on it.

"Drake, we have work. You don't have any clean clothes here-"

"I could bring over a week's supply." Drake suggested, loosening JJ's tie and unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt so he could kiss his way down his neck.

"Oh, I'm sure you'd love that."


"As things stand you have to go back to your own apartment to change clothes. And we have to eat breakfast."

Drake lifted his head to look into JJ's eyes. "Good idea. I'll start with something sweet." He smirked. JJ opened his mouth to protest and Drake grabbed it with his own, cutting him off.

"Ryo! Dee!" Carol's voice drifted into the bedroom before she knocked. "Hello? Can someone make us breakfast?"

Dee groaned, and turned his head into the pillow. "Tell them to go back to sleep."

Ryo yawned. "Carol's here...what time is it?" He slipped out of Dee's arms, ignoring Dee's protest. "6:15?"

"Go pour yourself a bowl of cereal!" Dee shouted. Ryo hit his arm. "What?"

"We're out!" Bikky shouted back.

Ryo yawned again. "I'll go make breakfast." He stood up, pulling on a pair of jeans.

"I'll see you in an hour." Dee told him, lying back down.

"Oh, no you don't." Ryo pulled the pillow out from under his head. "If we're up, you're up."

"Hey, how is that fair?"

Ryo was already rummaging in the closet. He threw some clothes at Dee, and pulled on his shirt. "It's perfectly fair. Why should you get to sleep in if we don't?"

"What if I don't want to wear this?" Dee complained.

Ryo exhaled in exasperation. "Dee..." He complained, reaching for the clothes. Dee grabbed his wrist and pulled him onto the bed. "Dee!" Ignoring the protest Dee kissed him, and was rewarded by Ryo relaxing against him.

"Hey! Breakfast!" Bikky banged on the door.

"We're starving!" Carol added.

"Their going to break that door down soon." Ryo pulled out of the kiss, sitting up. "And you're wrinkling your clothes." He pulled the clothes out from under Dee, shoving them into his arms. "Get up." He added, kissing Dee briefly. He stood up and headed for the door.

"I'm getting up! I'm getting up!" Dee ran a hand through his hair.

Ryo, smiling, glanced back once before exiting the room. Dee put the clothes on the bed and layed back down. Ryo opened the door, looking in. "Get up!"

Dee sat up. "I'm up! I'm up!" Ryo closed the door and with a sigh Dee stood up, picked up the clothes, and headed for the bathroom.

Outside the door Ryo turned and found Carol grinning knowingly. "What?" He asked her.

"Dee sure is tired today." She mentioned.

"It's 6:15 AM." Ryo pointed out.

"6:20." Carol skipped after him.

"Alright, 6:20 AM." Ryo shrugged.

"Were you two up late last night?" Carol asked, grinning.

"Carol!" Bikky protested.

"What?" Carol asked him innocently.

"Go sit down and let me make breakfast!" Ryo called back to them. Not turning so they wouldn't see his red cheeks.

"You know, you've picked up this whole shouting thing ever since you and Dee-!" Carol began.

"CAROL!" Bikky cut her off.

In the kitchen Ryo froze, blushing a deeper shade of red. Then a thoughtful expression came onto his face. 'I wonder if we have changed because of eachother...' He pulled things out of the cabinet.

In the hallway Bikky and Carol were still arguing. "All I was saying was that ever since Dee and he got involved he's picked up some of Dee's habits and vice versa."

"That's not what you were saying." Bikky crossed his arms.

"Oh, and what do you think I was saying?" Carol asked her boyfriend. "That ever since Dee and Ryo had s-"

"Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Whose mind is in the gutter? You're the one who thought I was saying-!"

"That's what you were saying!"

"Do you think you two can get louder?" Dee asked them from the bedroom doorway. "I think there's a few apartments near the top of the building who haven't heard you yet."

Carol took a deep breath, but Bikky clamped a hand over her mouth. "Don't even think about it." He told her.

Dee rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. He opened his mouth to say something, and paused - noting Ryo's thoughtful expression. Briefly wondering if Ryo had even heard Bikky and Carol shouting, he stepped closer. "Ryo?"

"Hm? Oh, Dee...can you scramble some eggs?" He asked.

"...sure. What were you thinking about?"

"Something Carol said this morning."

Dee blinked. "What?"

"Do you think we've changed because of eachother?"

"I don't doubt it." Dee answered, setting an egg carton on the counter. "When people are around eachother for awhile I think they're bound to pick things up from one another. Especially when they're around eachother constantly, like us."

Ryo nodded, washing off his hands. "How..." He began, but trailed off.

"Go on." Dee told him.

"How do you think I've changed?" Ryo asked, drying his hands on a towel.

Dee paused, then grinned. "Well, I think you're less of a stiff than you were when we first met seven years ago."

"What!" Ryo whirled. Dee began to laugh, turning back to the eggs. Ryo smacked his butt with the towel.

"Ow!" Dee spun around. With a pleased smile Ryo hung up the towel. Dee couldn't stop a smile from coming to his face. "In example - I don't think you ever would have even thought of doing that seven years ago."

"Eggs." Ryo turned Dee around and gave him a shove. But there was a bright smile on his face as he pulled a mixing bowl out from the cabinet.

Drake was waiting on the steps of the New York Police Department's 27th precinct when JJ made it there a few minutes before 8 o'clock. "Morning, Partner." The blonde greeted him, brown eyes dancing.

"Good morning." JJ replied. "You look like you're in a good moon today."

"I had a good night...and a good morning." Drake replied with a grin. JJ couldn't prevent a blush from coloring his cheeks. Shooting Drake a warning look he hurried up the steps. Drake caught his arm before he could get inside the building. "Can I come over tonight?" Drake whispered to him.

Berating his heart for speeding to such a fast pace over such a simple request JJ ignored the question. "If we don't get in on time Taicho will have our heads."

"Does that mean no?" Drake paused, frowning.

"...yes, it means no."


A mishevious glint in his eyes JJ leaned his face very close to his partner's. "Cuz I can't take the wear on my body." It was Drake's turn to blush, his grip loosening on JJ's arm. Taking advantage of the situation the silver-haired cop slipped out of his partner's hold and dodged into the building, surpressing a laugh. But the laugh escaped right before the door closed and Drake hid a smile before running after him.

"Ryo, Dee. Taicho wants to see you." Someone delivered the message as they passed by.

"Right now?" Ryo queried.


Dee sighed as he shoved his jacket into his locker. "Well, so much for a quiet day."

"Drake, JJ - Taicho wants to see you." Ted appeared out of the throng of people entering and exiting the building.

JJ glanced at his watch. "But we're not late." He protested.

"It's about a new case." Ted assured him.

"But we're in the middle of one." Drake told him.

"Not anymore." Ted shrugged.

Drake sighed. "C'mon." JJ grabbed his arm and pulled him toward Taicho's office.

"You wanted to see us?" Dee opened the door to Taicho's office.

"Take a seat." Taicho replied. Dee and Ryo glanced at eachother blankly before entering and sitting down. They sat in silence for over five minutes before the door opened again.

"You wanted to see us?" JJ asked, entering with Drake. The four men paused when they saw eachother.

Taicho looked up and paused. "Cutting it a little close this morning?" He asked.

JJ and Drake froze, realizing they hadn't removed their coats before coming. "Seconds to spare." Drake replied with an apologetic smile.

"Take a seat." Taicho told them.

Glancing at eachother they sat down next to Dee and Ryo. "What's going on?" Drake mouthed to Dee, who shrugged.

"You four have a case." Taicho told them, holding up a file.

"We FOUR?" JJ repeated.

"Problem, Adams?"

"No. No problem at all." JJ replied.

"Good. There's been some suspicious activities reported at an abandoned factory. Every time a group of cops is sent in they find nothing. But the reports start up again not long afterwards."

"Where is this factory?" Ryo queried.

"About 20 miles out of town." Taicho replied. "In the middle of a forest."

"How's that our jurisdiction?" Dee spoke up.

"We've been asked to investigate. Anyone care to object?" Noone replied. "Good."

"Who's been reporting the activities?" Drake asked.

"Campers mainly. So...you four get to go undercover. As far as anyone is concerned you're a group of friends out camping. In the meanwhile you keep an eye on the factory. Any questions?"

"Yah, why us?" JJ asked.

"Randy and you have the best eyes in the precinct. Dee and Drake are your partners. So you four get to go. If anyone has a problem with that, too bad." He handed Ryo a file. "I want you four up there tonight. And I want a daily report."

"Daily? How long do you think this will take?" Drake questioned.

"I have no idea."

"What about JJ and my case?"

"Someone else gets it for now."

"But we've...yes, sir." Drake sighed when he saw Taicho's look.

"Oh, fabulous. An excursion to the middle of nowhere for who knows how long..." JJ sighed when they were safely outside of Taicho's office.

"Maybe it will be nothing." Ryo suggested.

"Don't jinx us." JJ told him. "Taicho will keep us up there forever if it's nothing because it'll take forever to convince him it's nothing."

"Well, everyone got camping gear?" Drake asked. "I've got some basics. Sleeping bag. Lantern. Water canteen."

"I have some stuff I haven't used in an age." Dee responded. Ryo and JJ remained quiet. Dee and Drake looked at their partners, at eachother, and at their partners again. "Nothing?" Dee asked.

"Nothing." Ryo and JJ replied simultaneously.

"This'll be fun." Dee crossed his arms. "Tell me you have hiking boots."

"No." Ryo and JJ answered.

"O-kay...Drake and I get gear. You two pack clothes. And before we leave town we stop at a shoe store."

"Oh, you want us to pack for you too?" JJ sounded insulted.

"Fair is fair. We're getting the gear." Drake pointed out, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his keychain. "Here." He offered it to JJ, who looked at him blankly.

"I already have the key to your apartment." JJ reminded him. Then his eyes widened, and he clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Oh, you do...do you?" Dee turned to them, his gaze sly. "When did that happen?"

JJ flushed. "I'll go pack." He turned and started off.

Dee turned his gaze on Drake. "So why were you offering him your key? Forget? Or didn't you want to let us in on the fact that he had one? C'mon, Parker, what's the big secret?"

Drake pocketed the key chain, his cheeks coloring. "Let's go get that gear." He turned and started off. Dee hurried after him. "C'mon, aren't you gonna let me in?"

Ryo hesitated, then hurried after JJ. He caught up with him just outside the station. "JJ, wait!" JJ turned a surprised look on him. "Don't let Dee get to you. He lives to torment."

"Oh, I'm not. That was my mistake. A major mistake, and all mine." JJ replied, starting off again.

"Well, wait." Ryo hurried after him again, and JJ paused. "I was thinking-"

"You don't have to be nice to me, McClane." JJ cut him off.


"We've always been rivals. What, you think because I'm with Drake now all that should change?"

"I..I guess." Ryo acknowledged.

JJ shook his head. "Our rivalry has always had two layers. Personal and Proffessional. Our personal rivalry may be finished now that I've lost interest in Dee, but we're still proffessional rivals and we always will be." He turned on his heel and strode away.

Ryo frowned, his shoulders slumping. "I guess..."

To Be Continued...

Yah, I know - I just put up a Drake/JJ fic last time. Sue me. I really like them as a couple. And Ryo and Dee are in it as more than bit characters this time!