TITLE: The Boggart, the Witch and the Wardrobe

AUTHOR: The Goblet

EMAIL: gobletthe@yahoo.com.au

PAIRING: SS/RL

RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter and the associated characters. I am making no money off this fic, and I am only doing it for fun

ARCHIVE: Snape Lupin list archive, Anyone else, please ask, and I will email you the formatted version (in HTML).

WARNINGS: alludes to slash.

The Boggart, the Witch and the Wardrobe By The Goblet

Minerva McGonagall walked into the staff room and breathed a sigh of relief. After teaching a trying Gryffindor / Slytherin Transfiguration class, all she wanted to do was put her feet up with a large cup of tea until lunch time.

Tapping the tea kettle with her wand, she pulled out her tea cup and saucer, and made herself a strong cup of Camomile tea. The deputy headmistress then settled herself in a low armchair, and summoned the latest Witches' Weekly from the stack of magazines and newsprint under the coffee table.

Minerva took a sip of her tea, and was enjoying a rather lively article on how to spice up one's marriage, when a THUMP was heard from the wardrobe at the end of the room.

Startled, the Transfiguration teacher, turned to face the wardrobe. When no more sounds came from it, she dismissed it, not bothering to get up out of her cosy chair to investigate, after all this was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, wardrobes tended to make strange noises at times: especially if Hagrid had accidentally left a creature or two in the pockets of his robes.

Paying no attention to the sound, Minerva went back to reading the article in Witches Weekly.

Tip number 5: Take a crack at having relations in new and interesting places. Try the change rooms in Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions , under the stands at the next Quidditch match, in the lavatory at your husband's work. The more precarious the better!

THUMP! The wardrobe moved slightly. Minerva turned to face it once more. Slowly, it began to wobble, slowly and rhythmically, the wardrobe began to bounce off the wall.

Thump, thump, thump.

Minerva got up out of her seat. She crossed the room to where the wardrobe was rocking on its feet. The shaking was now fast and erratic. Pulling out her wand, Minerva pointed it at the wardrobe "Alohamora," she said. The rocking stopped.

The wardrobe door swung open. There inside, was Severus Snape and Remus Lupin, in a very compromising position. The two disentangled themselves, and peered sheepishly out of the wardrobe.

Minerva almost fainted: A Boggart! The transfigurations professor stared directly at the two very naked men standing in the cupboard. Surprising really, she thought, until I saw this, I thought my worst fear was Albus without his beard. She looked at the two men again, her gaze travelling down, past the navels. Coughing, she raised her wand again, "Riddikulus!" she cried.

Unfortunately, for Minerva, there was no cracking sound, no transformation which made the pair in the wardrobe humorous in the slightest.

"Riddikulus! Riddikulus! Riddikulus!" she shrieked, trying to get the two naked men to transform.

Severus, amused, arched his eyebrow at the deputy headmistress. He captured Remus's mouth in a fiery kiss before his former professor.

"If you will excuse us Minerva," he purred, stepping out of the wardrobe to grab a hold of the door.

Minerva stood dumbfounded as the wardrobe door closed behind her two naked colleagues and – thump, thump, thump.

Spinning on her heels, Minerva seized the Witches' Weekly from her chair, and went off in search of her lover.

The End.