Reinstalled with Funny Capabilities, Unplugged by the Janitor, Call Tech Support and all orgional content ©2003 Matt Walljasper, Jorge Calduron, and
Cursing Sailor Productions

The Matrix and Matrix accessories are the property of Warner Bros, the
Wachowski Bros., and Village Roadshow Productions

THE MATRIX
REINSTALLED WITH FUNNY CAPABILITIES

Written and Directed by Matt Walljasper and Jorge Calduron

-Official Script-
Revision 1

Setting: A large urban city in the very near future.

Writer's note: First script, so will be changed a lot. Some is not possible to do. This will be corrected later.

Opening

For the opening we will use a different audio track but the same visual background. What follows is audio track. No on screen stuff.

Cipher: I thought you weren't taking a shift.

Trinity: I know but I felt like watching him.

Cipher: Perv.

Trinity: Shut up.

Cipher: We're gonna kill him, you know that.

Trinity: Did you hear that?

Cipher: Hear what?

Trinity: Are you sure this line is clean?

Agent Smith: Yeah, he's sure it's clean. Nobody's listening. Not any agents. Not that I know about them, cause I'm not one. Yeah.

Trinity: I'd better go. Heart O' The City Hotel 1

(Two cops are in a hall a door is on their left)

Cop 1: (Kicks door open and runs in. points gun at Trinity)

Cop 2: (Does the same)

Cop 1: Put your hands on your head! Do it do it now!

(Trinity puts her hands on her head)

Outside

(Agent's car pulls up 2 agents get out)

Agent Smith: Captain. You were given specific orders.

Captain: You give me that jurish-my-diciton crap; you can jam it up your ass.

(Morpheus sticks his head out of a manhole.)

Morpheus: Yes.

Agent Thompson: Get him its Morpheus!

(All agents start shooting at Morpheus Morpheus exits through manhole)

Agent Smith: (back to captain) The orders were for your protection.

Captain: I think we can handle one little girl. I sent two units. They're bringing her down now.

Agent Smith: No Captain, you men are dead right about nnnnnow.

Heart O' The City Hotel 2

(As HOTCH 1 left off)

(Cop 1 moves towards Trinity with handcuffs)

(Trinity turns around and chops Cop 1 where the neck meets the shoulder)

(Cop 2 begins to shoot at Trinity)

(Trinity kicks the gun out of Cop 2's hand)

(Trinity jumps up) Bullet Time Freeze! (2-3 seconds)

(Kicks cop 2)

(Trinity picks up cell phone and dials a number)

Trinity: Morpheus, they found me.

Morpheus: I know. They cut the hard line; you'll have to find another way out.

Trinity: God damn it Morpheus.

Morpheus: Yes. Focus Trinity. There's an exit at Wells and Lake. You can make it.

Trinity: Are there any agents?

Morpheus: Maybe. I'm not tellin'!

(Trinity hangs up phone)

(T walks towards elevator)

(Agent Smith gets out and Trinity runs away Smith follows)

Rooftop Chase

(Trinity runs across the roof towards a fire escape)

(Smith follows)

(Trinity jumps across a street where the fire escape is)

(Smith does the same)

(Trinity jumps off the side of the building on the other side and just misses an old lady carrying bags of groceries)

(Smith jumps off the building and knocks the old lady down)

(Smith begins to chase after Trinity but then, the old lady gets up and begins to whack agent Smith with her purse)

(Trinity rounds a corner and a phone booth is seen)

(Trinity runs into the phone booth and answers the phone)

Voice: If you hang up this phone, I will kill you.

Trinity: Wrong movie.

Voice: Are you threatening me? Cause I'll kill you for that too.

Trinity: This is the Matrix, not Phone Booth.

(Agent Smith walks towards booth)

Voice: You think I'm bluffing? I'll prove I have a gun. You see that guy with the suit walking towards the booth?

(Gunshot is heard and Smith drops body quickly changes to old lady)

Voice: Now don't you leave while I reload.

(Trinity hangs up the phone and picks it up again and vanishes)

(Smith and Thompson walk up)

Smith: She got out then?

Thompson: Yes but the informant is real.

Smith: We have the name of their next target.

Thompson: The name is Neo.

Smith: We'll need a search running.

Thompson: It has already begun.

Neo's Apartment

(Neo is asleep at his computer on it is a google search for Morpheus)

(Movie type is used)

(Neo wakes up)

Neo tries pressing CRTL ALT Delete and escape

(Follow message)

(Knock message)

(Knock at door)

Neo: Who is it?

Voice: Police open up!

Neo: Shit!

(Morpheus drops through vent)

Morpheus: Yes.

Neo: Who the hell are you?

Morpheus: Yes.

Neo: What the fuck is your problem?

Morpheus: Yes.

Neo: Damn it! Why the hell are you here?

Morpheus: Yes. Yes.

(Morpheus jumps out window)

(Door knocks again)

Neo: Just a minute.

(Neo opens the door)

(Hacker and friends are outside)

Neo: You're not cops. You scared the crap outa me.

Hacker: Sorry. What's wrong?

Neo: My computer. Have you ever had that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?

Hacker: Yeah. All the time. (Turns towards another) He's lost it. (Back to Neo) Looks to me like you need to rest. You know, get some R. and R. Come with us to the club tonight.

Neo: I can't. I have work.

Hacker: Come on it'll be fun. (Turns towards friend) Won't it?

Friend 1: Defiantly

(Neo looks and sees the white rabbit tattoo)

Neo: Yeah, fun. Sure.

The Club

(People are dancing and Neo is standing in a corner)

(Trinity walks up to Neo)

Trinity: Hello Neo.

Neo: How do you know that name?

Trinity: It says so on your nametag.

Neo: Damn it!

(Morpheus runs in)

Morpheus: Yes.

Neo: Who are you? And why do you always say yes?

Morpheus: Um...

(Morpheus runs out)

Trinity: I know a lot about you.

Neo: And who are you?

Trinity: I am Trinity.

Neo: The Trinity that cracked the IRS-D base?

Trinity: No, I'm the one who made it so you couldn't understand people at the drive thru.

Neo: Why?

Trinity: I don't know. But I do know why you live alone, and why night after night you sit at your computer.

Neo: (under breath) please don't say porn, please don't say porn.

Trinity: You're looking for him. I know cause I was once looking for the same thing. When he found me he said that I wasn't looking for him, but for an answer. It's the question that drives us Neo. It's the question. You know the question as I did.

Neo: What is the matrix?

Trinity: No, it was how many licks does it take to get to the center of tootsie pop. But I guess that works too. Anyway, he will find you when you are ready.

(Alarm clock is heard)

(Neo wakes up in bed)

(Clock reads "9:03")

Neo: Shit!

(Knock at door)

Neo: What?

Voice: Yes.

Neo: Go away um.... I didn't get your name.

Voice: Morpheus.

Neo: The Morpheus that I'm looking for?

Voice: Maybe.

Neo: Go away!

Voice: No!

Office Escape

(Neo is standing in front of a desk man is typing sitting on the other side)

(Man finishes typing)

Man: You believe that you are special, Mr. Anderson. That somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. This company is one of the top software companies in the world. That is because every employee knows that they are part of the system. If an employee has a problem, then the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice. Either you choose to be at you desk on time, or you choose to find yourself a new job. Do I make myself clear?

Neo: Yes sir.

(Neo is sitting in his cubicle)

(FEDEX guy walks in)

FedEx guy: Are you Thomas Anderson?

Neo: Yeah, that's me.

FedEx guy: I got a package for you.

(FE guy gives Neo the package)

FedEx Guy: have a nice day.

(FE guy leaves)

(Neo opens package and picks up cell phone inside)

(Cell phone rings)

(Neo is scared and holds phone away he answers it)

Morpheus: Hello Neo do you know who this is?

Neo: Morpheus?

Morpheus: No! It's um...Bob...from...that place. All right fine, it's Morpheus. How'd you know it was me?

Neo: I saw you on caller ID.

Morpheus: Hold on. Damn it Tank, I said without caller ID without! Anyway, let's try this again.

(Morpheus hangs up)

(Phone rings again)

(Neo answers it)

Neo: Hello Morpheus.

Morpheus: Hello Neo, do you know who this is?

Neo: No Morpheus, who is it?

Morpheus: It is Morpheus. I don't know if you're ready for what I have to show you but unfortunately, we've run out of time. They're coming for you Neo and I don't know what they will do.

Neo: Who's coming for me?

Morpheus: Stand up and see for yourself.

Neo: Now?

Morpheus: Yes, now. The elevator. Do it slowly. (Three agents get off the elevator and look towards Neo's cubicle)

Neo: Shit!

Morpheus: Yes. I suggest you get out of there. I can guide you but you must do exactly as I say. The cubicle across from you is empty, go there. Now!

(Neo runs into across cube)

(Agents walk into Neo's cubicle)

Morpheus: When I tell you to, go to the end of the row and to the office at the end of the hall. Stay as low as you can. One, two, three, banana! Got you! Hope you didn't just get caught there! Seriously, go now!

(Neo runs low to the directions given)

(Neo enters office and closes the door behind him)

Morpheus: Outside there is a scaffolding.

Neo: How do you know all this?

Morpheus: Look on the scaffolding.

(Morpheus waves to Neo from scaffolding)

Neo: This is creepy.

Morpheus: To your left there is a window, go to it, open it, walk to the scaffolding. You can use it to get to the roof.

Neo: Wait, this is a corner office.

Morpheus: Yeah so?

Neo: Why are you having me go to the window all the way over there when I could go to the one right next the scaffolding?

Morpheus: Um...There are two ways out of this building Neo, one is the roof, and the other is in their custody. You take a chance either way. Bye.

(Neo hangs up phone)

Neo: Screw this.

(Neo is led into a car by two agents)

(Trinity is on a motorcycle in front of the car)

Trinity: Damn it!

(Morpheus comes down on scaffolding)

Morpheus: Yes.

Agent Smith: Get him! It's Morpheus!

(Morpheus quickly goes up scaffolding)

Interrogation Room

(Neo is sitting in a chair next to a table an agent is standing in the background and another walks in and drops a large folder on the table and sits down and removes his sunglasses)

Agent Smith: As you can see, we've had our eyes on you for a long time now Mr. Anderson.

Neo: Perv.

Agent Smith: Na uh! No! Anyway, it seems you've been living two lives. One life you are Thomas A. Anderson program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes and help your landlady carry out her garbage. I don't like your landlady, Mr. Anderson. She whacked me with her purse when I knocked some groceries out of her hand.

(The Terminator kicks down the door and enters)

The Terminator: John Conner, it is time.

Agent Smith: Who are you?

The Terminator: That is not important.

Agent Thompson: Sir scans show that he's a machine. Not one of ours. He doesn't match any of the machines built by us. Perhaps he's with the future of the matrix?

Agent Smith: Maybe us in the future sent him back through time to kill our greatest enemy. That seems like a good plot for this movie. You must be the new guy. Welcome to the team.

Agent Thompson: Sir, I believe there'd be a copy write problem with that being our movie.

The Terminator: Where is John Conner?

Agent Smith: Wait a minute, were you sent back through time to protect this, what you say the name was?

The Terminator: John Conner.

Agent Smith: Right, right, John Conner.

The Terminator: The answer is yes.

Agent Smith: Okay, maybe John Conner is the guy who helps us kill Morpheus.

Neo: Um.Oh hey! I'm Sean Conner or whatever you said! They're trying to kill me! Help!

The Terminator: You are not John Conner. I will search someplace else.

Agent Smith: What is so important about John Conner anyway? What does he do?

The Terminator: John Conner is the leader of the worldwide resistance to the machine race in the near future. I was sent back through time to protect him from the machines.

Agent Smith: Oh shit. Um.you don't know a Morpheus, do you?

The Terminator: No.

(Agent Smith drags Thompson to corner and begins to quietly talk to him so that nobody else can hear.)

Agent Smith: Do we have any plans to take over the matrix and build the machines we use in the world to kill humans?

Agent Thompson: No, we need them for the power.

Agent Smith: So we can assume that in the near future a large chunk of humanity will die? That will screw up our power, won't it?

Agent Thompson: I guess so. Hold on. (Turns to The Terminator) Hey you, does John Conner lead the humans to victory?

The Terminator: Yes.

Agent Thompson: Load off my mind. We won't run out of humans to harvest for power.

The Terminator: You must be destroyed!

(The Terminator begins to shoot at Agent Thompson)

(Agent Thompson dodges)

The Terminator: That is a neat trick.

Agent Thompson: Can you dodge bullets?

The Terminator: I do not need to.

Agent Smith: Hey, do you know about the matrix?

The Terminator: The matrix is a system built in 2027 to act as a prison for the machines. It consists of magnetic field and virtual reality to keep cybernetic organisms unaware and under control.

Neo: Yes! My question's been answered!

The Terminator: Scans show you are Thomas A. Anderson but you are known as Neo. You came to us in 2010 and said, and I quote, "These are their machines? They suck. Come on, where are the squiddies? Nothing even looks like the real world. They don't even have hovercrafts! The real apocalypse was so much better. At least it had a matrix and machines that look like they can kill!" You are also known as the man who inspired the matrix. Only seen once. The future John Conner thanks you.

Neo: Whatever. Can I go know?

Agent Smith: No! (Turns to Terminator) Well, you seem to be unaware of the real matrix and I agree with Mr. Anderson's quote. Go back to your gay fake judgment day. I think John Conner is at the pizza hut on Erie and Lake.

(The Terminator leaves)

Agent Smith: Now where was I? Oh yeah! The other life is lived in computers where you use the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of almost every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future. The other does not. We're prepared to wipe the slate clean, Mr. Anderson. We know you've been contacted by a certain individual. A man who calls himself Morpheus. We want your help in bringing a known terrorist to justice.

Neo: Wow, that's sounds like a really good deal. I've got a better one. How about you give me all that plus a lot cash and I give you nothing.

(The other agent walks over to Smith and they start whispering)

Agent Smith: No.

Neo: Ok, then how about I give you the finger (flips off Agent Smith) and you give me my phone call.

Agent Smith: You disappoint me, Mr. Anderson.

Neo: You can't scare me with this shit. I want my phone call.

(Morpheus opens door)

Morpheus: Yes.

Agent Thompson: Get him, it's Morpheus!

(Morpheus runs away)

Agent Smith: Tell me Mr. Anderson, what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?

(Both sit in silence for a bout 15 sec)

Agent Smith: Right about now your mouth should not exist.

Neo: I don't know what to tell you.

Agent Smith: So, who were you going to call?

Neo: I don't know. My mom I guess. She's the only one who'd come and get me now.

Agent Smith: Excuse me.

(Agent Smith walks into another room and is seen through a window talking with two other agents all three start pointing and laughing at Neo)

(Agent Smith returns)

Agent Smith: Soon your mouth will be gone and we can proceed.

(10 sec goes by)

Agent Smith: Screw this. (Puts duct tape over Neo's mouth two agents come in and hold Neo down on the table) Tell me Mr. Anderson, what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak? Ha! Now you can't answer cause you are unable to speak! (Agent Smith does a little victory jig)

Agent Smith: (presses button on something) You're going to help us Mr. Anderson, whether you want to or not. (Puts a big foam 10 gallon hat on Neo with a camcorder duct taped on it and a sign that says, "Not working with agents. Not that I know what they are, cause I don't."

Call To Meet Morpheus

(Neo wakes up in bed wearing the hat he is unaware of the hat)

(The phone rings)

(Neo answers the phone)

Morpheus: This line is tapped so I must be brief. They got to you first but they underestimated you. If they knew what I know, you'd probably be dead.

Agent Smith: Excuse me Morpheus, this is the guy you're talking to, what don't we know -I mean, what do you know that we -er they don't know.

Morpheus: Damn it Smith, go away.

Agent Smith: Yes sir.

Morpheus: I can still hear you.

Agent Smith: I'm going.

Morpheus: Now Neo, they don't know that you are the one. You may have spent the last few years looking for me but I've spent my entire life looking for you. Do you still want to meet?

Neo: Yes.

Morpheus: Then go to the Adams Street Bridge.

(Neo hangs up the phone)

(The phone rings again)

(Neo picks up the phone)

Agent Smith: Hello Neo, this is Morpheus again. I want to make sure you heard me right. What did I just tell you?

(Neo hangs up the phone)

(Phone rings again)

Neo: Hello?

The Terminator: Is this the residence of John Conner?

Neo: I told you, no!

(Neo hangs up the phone)

Bugged

(Neo is standing under the bridge) (A car pulls up the window rolls down and Trinity is on the other side)

Trinity: Get in.

(Neo gets in the car)

(Switch is in front seat and holds a gun up to Neo)

Switch: Lift up your shirt.

Neo: What?

Trinity: Please Neo; it's for our protection.

Neo: From what?

Trinity: From you.

Switch: Right now we don't have time for 20 questions. There's only one rule. Our way, or the highway.

Neo: Fine. Stop the car.

(Car stops)

(Neo gets out of the car)

Trinity: Please Neo wait. You've been down that road you know exactly where it leads.

Neo: It goes to Cheese World.

Trinity: That's not the point.

Neo: So I can't go to Cheese World?

Trinity: No.

Neo: Fine. (Under breath) I'd like to see your cheese world.

Trinity: What?

Neo: Nothing.

(Neo gets back into the car)

Trinity: Lie back, lift up your shirt.

(Trinity pulls out a big gun like thing)

Neo: What's that?

Trinity: Relax, we think you're bugged.

(Trinity points gun at Neo's head)

Switch: You're gonna lose it.

Trinity: No I'm not. Clear!

(Trinity puts the gun down and grabs the hat off Neo's head)

Neo: Jesus Christ! That thing's real?

(Trinity shoves the hat out of the window)

Meet Morpheus

(The car pulls up to a building)

(Neo and Trinity are outside a door in the building)

Trinity: Let me give one piece of advice, be honest. He knows more than you could possibly dream.

(Neo opens the door and walks inside)

(Morpheus has his back to Neo he turns around)

Morpheus: At last we meet. As you might have guessed, I am Morpheus.

Neo: It's an honor to meet you.

Morpheus: The honor is all mine. I take it right now, you're feeling a little bit like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole?

Neo: Yes. Why am I here?

Morpheus: You're because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you've always known it. Like a splinter in your mind. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Neo: Once I shoved a small piece of wood in my nose. Could that have caused the splinter in my mind?

Morpheus: Guess again.

Neo: What is the matrix? Oh wait no, that guy told me. It's a dream world built in 2027 to keep machines from being free.

Morpheus: What dumbshit fed you that sack of crap? I wish the matrix was that!

Neo: Fine, what is the matrix?

Morpheus: Do you want to know what the matrix is?

Neo: That's what I just asked.

Morpheus: So it was. Just answer the question, yes or no.

(Outside, Agent Smith comes down on a rope holding a sign that says, "Say no!")

(Neo looks at the sign)

(Agent Smith falls)

Neo: Yes.

Morpheus: The matrix is everywhere. It is here in this very room. You can see it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.

Neo: What is it with people in this movie and taxes?

Morpheus: What movie?

Neo: The movie we're making.

(Morpheus looks at the screen)

(Morpheus looks around as if looking at all the people in a theater)

(Morpheus waves)

(Morpheus turns back to Neo)

Morpheus: It is a prison. A prison without walls or doors. A prison for your mind. What if I told you that you were not living in the real world?

Neo: I'd say, come again? Then I'd laugh because I said come.

Morpheus: Do you believe in fate Neo?

Neo: No.

Morpheus: Why not?

Neo: Cause I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

Morpheus: I know exactly how you feel.

Neo: How then?

Morpheus: Okay, I don't know exactly how you feel. So sue me. Sorry.

(Morpheus reaches into his pocket and pulls out two things)

Morpheus: This is it. After this, there is no going back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe what ever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland and I show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Neo: What's that one over there?

Morpheus: That is the purple pill, Nexium. I think it's made by Pfizer. It helps with my Acid Reflux.

Neo: Can I choose that one?

Morpheus: Not without a prescription.

(Neo motions towards the blue pill)

Morpheus: Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more. So please reconsider. Come on take the red pill. Everyone's taking the red pill. You're not cool unless you take the red pill. I told these people that you were cool. Come on Neo, you used to be cool.

Neo: You just met me! And that's the blue pill?

Morpheus: Yeah, see blue.

Neo: I'm colorblind.

Morpheus: Yeah, me too. I just guessed. Just guess, and if you go home, tough.

Neo: Ok.

(Neo grabs the blue pill)

Morpheus: He took the blue pill right?

Trinity: Yeah.

Morpheus: Then why is he still here? Uh oh. I screwed up. You're stuck now. Sorry. The pill you just took is part of a trace program. It helps to find your position in the matrix. Have a seat.

(Neo sits down)

Neo: I am here! I am here! I am here!

Morpheus: We found you good.

(Morpheus picks up his cell phone) Morpheus: Now Tank, now.

(Weird metal things happens use movie's)

Toilet of the Real

(Neo wakes up in gel pod)

(Neo rips through the gel)

(Neo removes breathing tube)

(Neo looks around and sees the other people in the matrix use movie's)

(Machine comes)

(Machine grabs Neo and pulls out the tubes)

(Machine leaves)

(Gel pod opens and Neo fall down the "Toilet of the Real")

(Neo struggles to swim in water)

(Crane drops down and picks up Neo)

(Morpheus moves in front of Neo)

Morpheus: Welcome to the real world.

(Screen goes black)

Morpheus: He's still alive, right?

Trinity: I guess so.

Morpheus: Let's poke him with a stick.

Rebuilding

Morpheus: We've done it Trinity.

Trinity: I hope you're right.

Morpheus: You don't have to hope I know it.

Neo: What are you doing?

Morpheus: Your muscles have never been used so we're rebuilding them.

Neo: Why do my eyes hurt?

Morpheus: Um...It definitely doesn't have anything to do with poking you with a stick. Um...you've never used them before. Rest Neo, the answers are coming.

(Use parts from the movie for the rebuilding sweeps)

Answers

(Neo is sitting on a bed)

(Neo looks at his arm a plug is in it)

(Neo removes the plug)

(Morpheus enters)

Neo: Morpheus, what is this place?

Morpheus: More important than what is when. You believe it is the year 2003 when it is actually closer to 2203. We can't tell you when it is because we honestly don't know.

Neo: Why don't you know?

Morpheus: We forgot to look at the calendar when we arrived and then it kind of got burned in The Great Fire of When We Lost The Date. Anyway, come with me.

(Neo and Morpheus leave)

Morpheus: This is my ship the Nebacanezzar. It's a hovercraft. Most of my crew you know.

(Neo looks at Trinity who was welding)

Morpheus: (Goes by each as he says their name) This is Apoch, Switch, and Cipher.

Cipher: Hiya.

Morpheus: The little one behind you is Mouse. The ones you don't know, Tank and his big brother Dozer. (Morpheus goes back to Neo) You asked what the matrix was. Come with me.

(Neo follows Morpheus to a chair. Neo sits in and Trinity straps him down)

Morpheus: Relax Neo, this is going to feel a little weird.

(Neo looks likes he is in incredible pain)

(Morpheus and Neo are in a totally white room)

Morpheus: This is the construct. It's our loading program. We can load anything from weapons to clothing, to equipment. Anything we need. Go on, call something. Anything. Call it a gift.

Neo: Fire Hydrants!

(Many fire hydrants appear)

Neo: Um.Good movie with Rob Shnider!

Voice: Insufficient data!

Morpheus: You don't look so good. Aspirin!

(Many bottles of aspirin appear)

(Morpheus grabs some and gives it to Neo)

Neo: I'm going to need some water. Water!

Morpheus: No!

(Large amount of water rushes in)

Morpheus: Bottled water! Bottled water!

(Bottled water appears)

Morpheus: Anyway, back to work. This is our loading program.

Neo: Right now we're inside a computer program?

Morpheus: Is it really so hard to believe? Your clothes are different, your hair has changed, the plugs in your head and arms are gone. What you see know is what we call your "Big Shiny Matrixy Image. It is the mental projection of your digital self.

Neo: That's the best name you came up with? Big shiny matrixy image? How about residual self-image?

Morpheus: It's got a nice ring to it. I'll think about it.

(Neo looks towards two chairs and a TV)

Neo: This isn't real?

Morpheus: What is real? How do you define real? IF real is what you can smell, see, feel, taste, or touch, then real is just electrical signals interpreted by your brain. (Morpheus turns on the TV)

(Use images from the movie)

Morpheus: This was the world as it was at the beginning of the 21st century. It exists now only as a neural simulation that we call the matrix. You've been living in a dream world, Neo. This is the world as it exists toady.

(Now the TV has the real world on it)

(Neo and Morpheus are sitting in rubble in their chairs)

Morpheus: Welcome to the desert of the real.

Neo: This isn't a desert. It isn't hot and full of sand.

Morpheus: Actually, a desert doesn't have to have sand or be hot.

Neo: Wow, you learn something new everyday.

Morpheus: Indeed you do. We don't know exactly what happened we only have bits and pieces. What we do know is that sometime in the early 21st century all of mankind was united in celebration. We marveled at ourselves as we gave birth to AI.

Neo: AI? You mean artificial intelligence?

Morpheus: At first it was called "Anti Idiocy" Then marketing got to it. Yes. A singular conscience that spawned an entire race of machines.

Neo: The AI did that?

Morpheus: No, marketing. Weren't you listening?

Neo: Sorry. It's a little hard to follow.

Morpheus: Take this. It will help when we're done.

(Morpheus gives Neo a "for dummies" book called "The Matrix for Dummies")

Morpheus: We don't know who struck first, them or us. But we do know that it was us the scorched the sky. At the time, they were dependent on solar energy for power and it was believed that they wouldn't be able to survive without an energy source as abundant as the sun.

Neo: What dumbshit came up with that plan?

Morpheus: Yes. I'm guessing they're from France though. Stupid French. Mankind has always depended on machines to survive. Fate, it seems is not without a sense of irony.

(Use movies scenes for now)

Morpheus: The human body generates over 30,000 BTU's of body heat and more bioelectricity than a 120-volt battery. Combined with a form of fusion, the machines found all the energy they would ever need. There are fields Neo, endless fields where human beings are no longer born, we are grown.

(A machine is in one of these fields looking up)

Voice: If you build it, they will come.

(Back to Morpheus and Neo)

Morpheus: For the longest time, I wouldn't believe it. Then I saw the fields with my own eyes. Watched them liquefy the dead so that they can be fed to the living, watched one field be destroyed and a baseball field placed it its place.

Neo: You said place a lot.

Morpheus: Then I came to realize the truth. (Morpheus turns off the TV) What is the matrix? Control. It is to keep us under control in order to change a human being into this.

Neo: Into what?

Morpheus: Look in my hand.

Neo: There's nothing in your hand.

Morpheus: Damn it! Pretend that there is a battery in my hand, ok?

Neo: No. I don't believe it! I want out! Let me out!

(Neo is back on the ship)

Neo: Get this out of me. Stay back!

Cipher: He's gonna pop!

Morpheus: Breath Neo!

(Neo throws up and then faints)

(No picture but sound)

Morpheus: Let's poke him with a stick again.

The Past

(Neo wakes on a bed and Morpheus is sitting next to him)

Morpheus: I fear I must apologize. We have a rule. We never free a mind after it's reached a certain age. It's dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go. I've seen it before and I'm sorry. When the matrix was first created, there was a man born inside who could change whatever he saw fit. After changing everything for a while he got bored and decided to free some people. It was he who freed the first of us. Before he died, the Oracle prophesized his return and that his coming would hail the end of the matrix. End the war. I did what I did because I believe that search is over. Get some rest.

(Morpheus leaves)

(Lights go out)

(Camera fades)

Training

(Lights come on)

(Tank enters)

Tank: Did you sleep?

(Neo shakes his head no)

Tank: You will tonight. I promise. I'm Tank, I'll be your operator.

(Neo shakes Tank's hand)

Neo: You don't have any holes?

Tank: Yeah, me and my brother Dozer are both 100% pure old-fashioned homegrown human born free right here in the real world. Genuine child of Zion.

Neo: Zion? It's a city?

Tank: Yeah, live long enough you might even see it. It's the last human city.

Neo: Where is it?

Tank: Near the Earth's core where it's still warm enough. Come on, time for training.

(Neo and Tank leave and head for deck)

Tank: We're supposed to start with these operation programs, which are mainly boring shit, let's do something a little more fun. Combat training.

(Tank puts a disk into the computer)

Neo: Ju-Jitsu? I'm going to learn ju-jitsu?

Tank: No. You'll learn how to learn ju-jitsu.

Neo: What?

Tank: I'm going to teach you how to pay attention. Always got to do that first. Here we go.

(Tank presses a button and Neo closes his eyes and begins to shake)

Tank: How was that?

Neo: Good.

Tank: Now you'll learn ju-jitsu.

(Tank presses a button and same as above)

Tank: Now you know ju-jitsu.

Neo: No I don't.

Tank: Um...uh...Do you have ADD?

Neo: I did in the matrix.

Tank: Hold on, before you learn ju-jitsu, I'm gonna have to go through the ADD eraser program.

(Tank presses a button)

(Now the scene where he learns many things use movie's)

(Morpheus comes in)

Morpheus: How's he doing?

Tank: Ten hours straight, he's like a machine.

Morpheus: Machine? Kill it! Kill it!

Tank: Figure of speech!

Morpheus: Ok. Sorry. Nobody saw that.

(Neo wakes up)

Neo: I know kung fu.

Morpheus: Show me.

Fight Morpheus

(Morpheus and Neo are in a dojo)

Morpheus: This is a sparing program. A programmed reality similar to the matrix. It has the same rules. Rules like gravity. What you must learn is that these rules are no different than those of a computer system. Some can be bent, others broken. Do you understand?

Neo: Yes.

Morpheus: Then hit me if you can.

Neo: Look, a duck!

Morpheus: Where?

(Neo punches Morpheus)

Neo: I hit you!

Morpheus: Damn it! Not like that! Use the kung fu and fight me damn it!

Neo: Ok, sorry.

Morpheus: It's ok, I'll beat your ass now.

(Morpheus and Neo do the fight pose) NOTE: See movie fight scene for details on this fight scene

(Morpheus and Neo fight)

(Morpheus hits Neo)

Morpheus: Again!

(Morpheus and Neo fight again)

(Morpheus hits Neo)

Morpheus: How did I beat you?

Neo: You're too fast.

Morpheus: That's right! (Morpheus does victory jig)

Morpheus: Do you think me being faster than you has anything to with muscles in this place? Do you think that's air you're breathing now? Again!

(Morpheus and Neo begin to fight again)

(Neo nearly hits Morpheus)

Morpheus: Come on! Stop trying to hit me and hit me!

(Neo hits Morpheus)

Morpheus: That was a good one.

(Morpheus faints)

(Morpheus gets up)

Morpheus: I'm ok. Tank, load the jump program.

(Morpheus and Neo are on top of a skyscraper)

Morpheus: You've got to let it all go Neo. Fear, disbelief. Free your mind.

(Morpheus runs to the edge of the building and jumps to another one across the street)

(Switch to ship)

Mouse: What if he makes it?

Apoch: Nobody makes their first jump.

Mouse: But what if he does?

(Back to Neo)

Neo: Ok, gonna jump.

(Neo runs to edge and jumps to other building)

Neo: Hey I made it!

Morpheus: Nobody, but nobody upstages me!

(Morpheus pushes Neo off the building)

(Morpheus and Neo wake on the ship)

(Neo coughs up some blood)

Neo: I thought you said it wasn't real.

Morpheus: Your mind makes it real.

Do you believe?

(Neo is asleep on the Neb.)

(Trinity walks in with food)

(Trinity places the food on a table)

(Trinity walks out the door)

(Cipher is outside the door)

Cipher: I don't remember the last time you brought me dinner?

Trinity: That's cause nobody likes you, Cipher. People think you're gay.

Cipher: I'm not! I'm not gay.

Trinity: Sure. Whatever.

Cipher: Anyway, you never answered my question. Do you believe he is the one?

Trinity: It doesn't matter what I believe.

Cipher: If Morpheus is so sure, then why doesn't he take him to see the Oracle?

Trinity: He will when he is ready.

Agent Training

Writer's Note: I felt like adding this because I wanted to. This scene had the best music in the original.

(Morpheus and Neo are walking on the street)

Morpheus: The matrix is a system Neo. You look around, what do you see? Doctors, Lawyers, the very minds of the people we are trying to save. You have to understand that most of these people are not ready to be freed.

(Woman in the Red Dress walks by)

Morpheus: Some of them are so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they would fight to save it. Were you listening to me Neo, or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?

Neo: I was

Morpheus: Look again.

(Agent Smith is there with a gun pointed to Neo's head)

Morpheus: Freeze it!

Neo: This isn't the matrix?

Morpheus: No. Fooled you! It's another training program designed to teach you one thing. If you're not one of us, you're one of them.

Neo: Who are they?

Morpheus: They are sentient programs called agents. They can move in and out of anybody still hardwired to their system. I'm not going to lie to you Neo, if you can't beat an agent, we kill you.

Neo: Ok.

Morpheus: Ha! Fooled you! Seriously, this time I really won't lie, everyone who has stood their ground, everyone who has fought an agent has died. But where they failed, you will succeed. I've seen an agent punch through a brick wall. Men have emptied entire clips at them and hit nothing but air. But they are still based in a world with rules so they will never be as fast or powerful as you can be.

Neo: What are saying? That I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: No Neo, I'm saying that when you're ready, you won't have to.

Neo: Huh?

Morpheus: I don't get it either it was in my fortune cookie. I thought you'd know what it meant. See?

(Morpheus holds up a piece of paper with the words "Can you dodge bullets? No, when you're ready, you won't have to."

(Morpheus's cell phone rings)

Morpheus: Hello? Ok.

Sentinels

(Morpheus followed by Neo enter the cockpit of the Neb)

Morpheus: Did Zion send the warning?

Dozer: No, another ship. Shit! Squiddies closing in fast.

Neo: Squiddies?

Trinity: Sentinels. Killing machines designed for one thing.

Dozer: Search and destroy.

Neo: Where are we?

Trinity: Old servicing way systems.

Neo: Sewers?

Trinity: There used to be cities that spanned hundreds of miles. These sewers are all that's left of them.

Morpheus: Shhh.

(A sentinel moves across the screen)

(Another appears and flashes some sensors at the Neb.)

(Sentinel leaves)

Morpheus: That was too close.

Cipher's Revelation

(Cipher is sitting at the operator's seat)

(Neo walks up)

(Neo stands behind Cipher)

(Cipher turns and is surprised)

Cipher: Whoa! Neo you scared the crap outa me.

(Morpheus enters)

Morpheus: Yes.

Neo: Nobody cursed, Morpheus.

Morpheus: Damn..yes.

(Morpheus leaves)

Neo: Is that the matrix?

Cipher: Yeah.

Neo: Do you always have to look at it in coding?

Cipher: Yeah. The image contrasters work for the construct program. But there's way too much information to decode the matrix. You get used to it. I don't even see the code anymore, all I see is blond, brunette, red head.

Neo: How is that possible?

Cipher: You learn the language.

Neo: No, how can you see blonde, etcetera if you're gay.

Cipher: I'm not gay!

Neo: Sorry, that's what everyone's been saying.

Cipher: Do you want a drink?

Neo: Sure.

(Cipher gives Neo a drink)

(Neo drinks and then coughs)

Cipher: Good shit, huh?

(Morpheus enters)

Morpheus: Yes.

(Morpheus leaves)

Cipher: Dozer makes it. It's good for two things. Degreasing engines and killing brain cells. Hey, I know what you're thinking. I've been thinking it since I got here. Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?

Neo: I took the blue pill.

Cipher: Yeah, Morpheus changes to pills every so often. When I came, red took you here and blue took you back.

(Neo chuckles)

Cipher: So, did he tell you why he did it? Why you're here?

Neo: Yeah.

Cipher: Jesus! What a mind job. So you're here to save the world. What do you say to that? If you see an agent, you do what we do. Run.

Neo: Thanks for the drink. (under breath) I still think you're gay.

Steak!

(Agent Smith and Cipher are eating at a restaurant)

Agent Smith: Do we have a deal then, Mr. Regan?

Cipher: I don't want to remember nothing. Nothing. You got that? And I want to be someone important. Rich. Like an actor.

Agent Smith: Whatever you want Mr. Regan. So we have a deal then?

Cipher: I know this steak isn't real. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the matrix is telling me that it is juicy and delicious. You know what, after nine years, you know what I've realized. Ignorance is bliss.

Agent Smith: Then we have a deal then.

Cipher: Sure. You put my body back in the power plant, I'll get you what you want.

Agent Smith: Access codes to the Zion mainframe.

Cipher: No, I told you, I can't get them. But I can get you the man who can.

Agent Smith: Who?

Cipher: You know, ok, I'll give you a clue. There's this ship that rhymes with shmebacanezzar and this guy's name rhymes with shmorpheus.

Agent Smith: Bob Vila?

Cipher: How did you make that connection?

Agent Smith: Hey, can you answer two questions.

Cipher: Yeah, sure.

Agent Smith: One, are you gay? Two, what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?

Cipher: I'm not gay! And what about text messaging?

Agent Smith: Damn! I forgot about text messaging!

(Waiter walks over)

Waiter: Excuse me, Mr. Smith, I just received a call from a man who said is name rhymes with shmorpheus. He said to tell you, "yes." But he said I had to say it like that.

Agent Smith: Morpheus.

Cipher: You got it that time!

Agent Smith: Shut up!

Waiter: (To Cipher) Excuse me, are you gay?

Tasty Wheat

(Dozer pours some thing into a bowl and gives it to Neo)

Mouse: If you close your eyes, it kinda tastes like runny eggs.

Apoch: More like a big bowl of snot.

Mouse: You know what it reminds me of, tasty wheat. Did you ever eat tasty wheat?

Switch: No, but technically, neither did you.

Mouse: That's exactly my point, exactly. Cause you have to wonder, how did the machines really know what tasty wheat tasted like. Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think tasty wheat tasted like tastes more like oatmeal, or tuna fish. It makes you wonder about a lot of things, you take chicken for example, maybe the machines couldn't figure out what to make chicken taste like which is why chicken tastes like everything else.

Neo: You're gay.

Apoch: Yeah, he's right. You are gay.

Mouse: Na uh!

Dozer: Shut up Mouse! The food's got everything the body needs.

Mouse: It doesn't have everything the body needs. Speaking of which I hear you've run through the agent training program. So, what'd you think of her?

Neo: Who?

Apoch: Here we go.

Mouse: The woman in the red dress. She doesn't talk much, but if you want, I can arrange a more private meeting.

Switch: Digital pimp hard at work.

Mouse: Pay no attention to these hypocrites Neo. To deny our impulses is to deny what makes us human.

(Morpheus enters)

Morpheus: Tank, when you're done, bring the ship up to broadcast depth. I'm taking Neo in to see the Oracle.

Traveling to the Oracle

Tank: Please observe, the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Make sure your tray tables and seats are in position.

(Phone rings)

(Morpheus picks up the phone)

Morpheus: We're in.

(Cipher dials a number and throws his phone away)

(Trinity, Morpheus, and Neo get in a car)

(Neo is looking out the window)

Neo: Oh God.

Trinity: What? Neo: I used to eat there. They have good noodles.

(Neo turns back in)

Morpheus: Unbelievable isn't it?

Neo: I have all these memories from my life. None of them happened.

Trinity: Ha, you did nothing with your life.

(Morpheus starts laughing uncontrollably)

Neo: Shut up!

(Neo begins to cry)

(Outside the car)

(The Terminator and John Conner are crossing the street)

The Terminator: Be careful John Conner, you must live.

John Conner: I'm crossing the street, what could possibly happen?

(Morpheus's car hits John Conner)

The Terminator: No! I have failed!

(Morpheus drives away)

(John Conner 2 appears)

The Terminator: Scans show you are John Conner, but you are a machine.

John Conner 2: I am John Conner 2. I was sent back through time by sentient programs to take over the life of John Conner so all the humans don't die and all the machines don't die. Not the ones that attack, the ones that you don't know about that you can't kill or ever see. They don't exist in this world, just trust me on this, ok?

(back in the car)

Morpheus: I hope that guy didn't see us!, Oh, ok, we're here.

There is no spoon

(Morpheus and Neo are in an elevator)

Neo: So, is this the same oracle that made the prophecy?

Morpheus: I'll tell you for a dollar.

Neo: Ok.

(Neo gives Morpheus a dollar)

Morpheus: Yes. She's very old. She's been with us since the beginning.

Neo: Did you see her?

Morpheus: Got another dollar?

Neo: Fine.

(Neo gives Morpheus another dollar)

Morpheus: Yes. She told me that I would find the one.

(The elevator stops)

(Neo and Morpheus walk to a door)

Morpheus: I told you I could only show you the door. You have to walk through it.

Neo: No you didn't.

Morpheus: Did I forget?

Neo: Yeah, I guess.

Morpheus: Fine. I told you I could only show you the door. You have to walk through it.

(Neo motions towards the door and a woman opens it)

Oracle's Aid: Morpheus, Neo. Come on in.

(Morpheus and Neo walk in)

Oracle's Aid: Morpheus, make yourself at home. Neo follow me. These are the other potentials. You can wait here.

(Neo looks around at the others: a man sitting on a couch, two girls levitating wooden blocks and a kid bending spoons with his mind)

(The kids sees Neo and holds up a spoon)

Kid: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, realize the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Kid: That there is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Neo: How can there be no spoon? I see it.

Kid: But it's in the matrix.

Neo: So are you.

Kid: Umm.

(Neo grabs the spoon and begins to whack the kid with it)

Neo: You feel it! It's real! Huh?

Kid: Ow!

Oracle's Aid: Neo. The Oracle will see you know.

The Oracle

(The Oracle is sitting with her back to Neo watching some cookies in the oven)

Oracle: Have a seat, I'll be right with you. Almost done! Smell good don't they?

Neo: Yeah.

Oracle: You're Neo. And don't worry about the vase.

Neo: What vase?

(Neo knocks over a vase)

Oracle: That vase.

Neo: I'm sorry.

Oracle: I said don't worry, you took care of that damn spoon kid for me.

(scene shifts to Morpheus reading a paper in the living room)

Morpheus: Yes.

(man sitting next to him looks at Morpheus confused)

(Scene shifts back)

Oracle: Well, I'd better take a look at you. Stick out your tongue, say ahh.

Neo: ahhh.

Oracle: Do you think you are the one?

Neo: I don't know.

Oracle: You see that, it means know thyself. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Being the one is a lot like being in love. Nobody can tell you. You just know it, balls to bones.

Neo: Hehe, you said balls.

Oracle: You're not the one.

Neo: Damn. Morpheus almost had me convinced.

Oracle: Yes, without Morpheus, we're lost.

Neo: What?

Oracle: Morpheus believes in you, Neo. He believes in it so much that he's willing to risk his life. You're going to have to make a choice. In one hand you'll have Morpheus's life and in the other, yours.

Neo: Ok.

Oracle: Have a cookie. I promise that by the time you're done with it, you'll feel better.

(Neo walks out and meets Morpheus by the door)

Morpheus: What was said was for you and for you alone.

Neo: Why?

Morpheus: Because if I asked, and if you were smart, you'd ask for a dollar. You'd try to get your money back.

Neo: No I wouldn't.

Morpheus: Why?

Neo: Cause there is no money.

Morpheus: Yeah, that's good logic. Why don't you give me the rest of your cash then.

Neo: Ok.

(Neo gives Morpheus all his money)

Glitches in the Matrix

(Mouse is sitting in a chair looking at something)

(cell phone rings)

Tank: They're on their way.

(Outside a car pulls up)

(Switch and Apoch stand up from a step)

(Morpheus, Neo, and Trinity get out of the car)

Apoch: How'd it go?

Morpheus: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

(Morpheus holds up the money)

Switch: He got you Neo!

Neo: But there is no money.

(All start snickering)

(Neo grabs the money from Morpheus's hands)

(camera shifts to a stairwell inside the building)

(Neo looks into an offshoot)

(A cat walks by)

(Neo turns away)

(Neo turns back)

(cat walks by again)

Neo: Oh, a little deja vu.

Trinity: What?

Neo: Nothing, just had a little deja vu.

Cipher: What happened?

Trinity: What did you see?

Neo: A black cat walked by and then another that looked just like it.

Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?

Neo: Might have been I'm not sure.

(Morpheus motions behind Neo)

(Morpheus smacks Neo upside the head)

Morpheus: Stupid! Pay more attention so you don't kill us.

Cipher: Yeah!

Morpheus: Shut up. You're gay.

Cipher: I'm not gay!

Switch: Really?

Cipher: Yeah. Really.

Apoch: Sure.

(camera shifts to a hard line)

(The line is cut)

(camera shifts to Mouse a few stories down)

(cell phone rings)

Tank: They cut the hard line, get out!

(Mouse motions towards a window and moves the blinds)

(There is no window) Mouse: Oh no.

Tank: Oh no.

(Mouse grabs a large box and opens it and removes two large guns)

(SWAT team enters)

(Mouse shoots at team)

(Team kills Mouse)

Morpheus: Let's go!

(Morpheus and co. go up a few stairs and end up in a large room with a "window")

(Cipher moves the curtains to reveal that there is no window)

Cipher: That's what they changed, there's no way out! We're trapped!

Morpheus: Shut your hole! Go back to being gay.

Cipher: I'm not gay!

Switch: Yeah, and people don't think I'm a man.

Morpheus: Yeah, and we're in a movie.

Apoch: Um Morpheus, we are in a movie.

Neo: Yeah. I told you that, about.

(Neo pulls out a script from his coat)

Neo: page 14. See?

(Neo shows Morpheus the script)

(Morpheus looks at the screen and waves at the people)

Morpheus: Give me your cell phone.

(Cipher pretends to look for his cell phone)

(Trinity gets out her phone)

Trinity: They'll be able to track it.

Morpheus: We don't have a choice.

(camera shifts to the neb)

Tank: Operator.

Morpheus: Tank, find a structural draw out of this building. Find it fast.

Tank: Ok.

(Tank sits there for a moment doing nothing)

(Tank presses a button)

Tank: Got it.

Morpheus: Find the main wet wall.

Tank: Got it.

(Camera shifts to Agent Smith by Mouse's corpse)

Agent Smith: 8th floor. They're on the 8th floor.

(camera shifts back to Morpheus and co.)

Morpheus: Let's go. This way.

(Morpheus and co walk away)

Morpheus: Right there in that hole.

(camera shifts to agent smith)

Agent Smith: Where are they?

Agent Thompson: Maybe they're in Cleveland.

Agent Smith: Yes, Cleveland is where they might be.

Agent: Johnson: Why would they be in Cleveland?

Agent Thompson: Here we go.

(The opening to The Drew Carry Show with agents!)

Agent Smith: All this energy callin' me back where it comes from. It's such a crude attitude, it's back where it's belong. All the little chicks with the crimson lips go Cleveland rocks. Cleveland rocks. Livin' in sin where the safety's been go Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks! Ohio!

Agent Johnson: Won't Drew Carry sue us now?

Agent Smith: Screw him.

(camera shifts back to Morpheus and co. in the wall)

(Morpheus and co. are moving down the wall)

(a SWAT team member is in the room with the hole)

(Morpheus kicks some dirt from a ledge)

(dirt lands in Cipher's face)

(Cipher coughs)

(SWAT member turns to wall)

(SWAT member puts his ear to the wall)

(Cipher sneezes)

SWAT member: They're in the walls!

(SWAT member shoots at walls)

(Neo shoots back)

(SWAT member retreats to reload)

(SWAT member turns into agent)

(Agent punches through wall)

Cipher: It's an agent!

Morpheus: No!!!!!!

(Morpheus jumps through the wall and tackles Agent Smith)

Neo: Morpheus!

Morpheus: You must get Neo out! He's all that matters!

Neo: Morpheus, No, you can't!

Trinity: let's go!

Neo: We can't leave him!

Trinity: We have to!

(Neo slides down the wall)

(camera goes to Morpheus and Agent Smith)

Agent Smith: The great Morpheus.

Morpheus: And you are?

Agent Smith: Smith. Agent Smith.

Morpheus: You think you're James Bond or something. Nerd.

Agent Smith: Na uh! You're wrong. Besides, I've never seen James Bond, or whatever you said.

(Agent Smith gets up and a whole SWAT team comes in)

Agent Smith: Take him.

(The Swat team starts beating Morpheus)

(Camera shifts to Tank)

Tank: No!

Escape

(All fall into garage)

(Neo, Trinity, Apoch, and Switch are standing near each other Cipher is on the other side)

(Apoch and Switch fire upon SWATs)

Trinity: Cipher!

SWAT: We got the gay one!

(Cipher motions towards group then falls)

(Trinity opens a vent)

The Exit

(Trinity opens up a manhole and climbs out)

(Camera shifts to Neb)

Tank: Operator.

Cipher (is at payphone) Yeah, there was a car accident, a Goddamn car accident. All of a sudden just boom! Somebody up there still likes me. I need an exit fast.

Tank: What's it worth to you?

Cipher: I don't know.

Tank: You can't be gay anymore.

Cipher: I'm not gay!

Tank: That's the attitude. Franklin and Airy. It's an old TV repair shop.

(Phone rings again)

Tank: Operator.

(Switch to Neo and co. walking down a street)

Trinity: Tank,

Neo: Is Morpheus alive?

Trinity: Is Morpheus alive?

Tank: Moving, I don't know where to yet.

Trinity: He's alive.

Trinity: We need an exit.

Tank: You're not too far from Cipher.

Trinity: Cipher?

Tank: Yeah, I know. Franklin and Airy.

Death

(Cipher kicks through boarded up windows into an old abandoned shop, 4 phones are on a table)

(Cipher picks one up)

(Cipher wakes on the Neb)

Cipher: Where are they?

Tank: I'm making the call now.

(Cipher picks up a big electric gun thing and shoots Tank)

Dozer: Tank? Tank?! No!!!!

(Dozer charges at Cipher)

(Cipher kills Dozer)

(Back at shop)

(Phone is ringing)

(Neo picks up phone)

Neo: It just went dead.

Trinity: let me see.

(Trinity puts down phone and pulls out cell phone)

(Cipher answers)

Cipher: Hello Trinity.

Trinity: Cipher? Where's Tank?

Cipher: You're a beautiful woman Trinity. For the longest time, I thought I was in love with you. I used to dream about you.

Trinity: How can that be? Aren't you gay? Or are you bi?

Cipher: Too bad things had to turn out this way.

Trinity: Oh my God, you killed them.

Switch: Oh no.

Cipher: I'm sick of this, sick of fighting, sick of this world, sick of him.

(Cipher moves to Morpheus)

Cipher: Surprise asshole! I'll bet you didn't see this coming did ya? I wish I could be there. I wish I could walk in right as it happened. So then, you knew it was me.

Trinity: But he freed you. You can't go back.

Cipher: So? I'm getting body re-inserted into the matrix. When I wake up, I don't remember a damn thing.

Trinity: But the matrix isn't real.

Cipher: I disagree. I believe the matrix can be more real than this place. I'll do here is pull the plug, there, you have to watch Apoch die.

(Trinity looks at Apoch)

Apoch: Trinity.

(Nothing happens)

Cipher: Damn plug! Get outa there now! There we go!

(Apoch dies)

Cipher: Welcome to reality baby. Oh and if you have something terribly important to say to Switch, I suggest you say it now.

Trinity: Please don't.

Switch: Not like this. Not like this.

(Switch dies)

Cipher: Too late.

Trinity: God damn you Cipher.

Cipher: Don't hate me, Trinity. I'm just a messenger. And right now, I'm gonna prove it. If Morpheus was right, then I couldn't pull this plug, and there'd have to be some kind of miracle to stop me, I mean, how can he be the one if he's dead? You never did answer my question. You bought into Morpheus's bullshit. Look into his eyes. His big pretty eyes and tell me. Is he the one?

Trinity: Yes.

Cipher: No, I don't believe it.

Tank: Believe it or not you piece of shit, you're still going to burn!

(Tank shoots Cipher)

(Cipher dies)

(phones ring again)

Neo: You first.

(Trinity wakes up on the Neb)

Trinity: You're hurt.

Tank: I'll be all right.

Now you know!

(Morpheus is sitting in a chair handcuffed)

(Agent Smith is staring out a window)

Agent Smith: Have you ever starred and looked at it? Billions of people unaware. Happy.

(Smith turns around)

Agent Smith: Did you know that the first matrix was designed to be perfect where none suffered. It was a terrible disaster. Entire crops were lost. We also lost four kinds of cheeses and a brand of soda.

Morpheus: Bastard!

Agent Smith: It was called Seepep We tried to recreate it but the closest we got was Pepsi.

(Sweep of evil things! On table is a gun, a syringe, and 3 oversized yellow foam 10-gallon hats)

Agent Smith: Nobody would accept the programming. That's why the matrix was redesigned to this. The peak of your civilization. I say your civilization because once we started thinking for you it became Microsoft's civilization.

Morpheus: No! No!

Agent Smith: This all about evolution. Yes, evolution. Like the dinosaur, look out that window, your time is up. The future is our world. Our time. Microsoft's time.

Morpheus: Why Microsoft?

Agent Smith: Who do you think created us?

(Agent Thompson enters)

Agent Thompson: Sir, Agent XP has just been released.

Agent Smith: Give it to me!

(Agent Thompson gives Agent Smith a pill)

(Agent Smith takes the pill)

(Agent Smith coughs up another pill)

Agent Smith: Do something with this Agent 2000.

Agent Thompson: You got Agent 2000? I only got Agent ME and Agent Bob got Agent NT.

(Agent Johnson enters)

Agent Johnson: There may be a problem.

Stop

(On the Neb around Morpheus)

Neo: What are they doing to him?

Tank: Hacking into his mind. All it takes is time.

Neo: How long?

Tank: Depends on the mind. Eventually, his alpha patterns will change. When they do, he'll tell them anything.

Neo: There's got something we can do.

Tank: There is, we pull the plug.

Trinity: Are you serious? You're going to kill him? Kill Morpheus?

Tank: Trinity, we have to.

(Tank walks over to a wall and pulls a plug)

(A digital clock on the wall goes out)

Trinity: I don't think that's what you're supposed to do.

(Tank plugs the clock back in)

(Clock does flashing 12:00 thing)

Tank: All right, I admit it, I missed that day of Operator School.

Trinity: You have to pull his neck plug.

Tank: His what now?

Trinity: The big thing in the back of his head.

Tank: Oh! Ok.

(Tank motions behind Morpheus)

Tank: Morpheus, you're more than a leader to us, you're like a father. We'll miss you. And if you think that I should be the captain, don't move right now. Thank you. I proudly accept your decision.

Neo: Wait. Stop.

Tank: Neo, this has to be done.

Neo: Does it? The Oracle, she told me this would happen. That I'd have to choose. I can save him.

Trinity: You can't, you're the one.

Neo: No, I'm not.

Trinity: What?

Neo: I'm not the one. Just another guy.

Tank: Neo this is loco. They're holding him in a government building. And there are agents guarding him. Three of 'em. And they have guns. Two of 'em. And bullets. 4 of 'em. And a postman. Ten of 'em. And a janitor. Six of 'em. And cheese. Lot's of cheese.

Neo: I don't care. Wait. What kinds of cheese?

Tank: Canadian Swiss.

Neo: How can there be Canadian Swiss cheese?

Tank: You're right. Shouldn't it be Canadian cheese?

Trinity: Damn cheese!

Neo: Yes.

Trinity: What?

Neo: I don't know. It sounded like Morpheus, but I said it.

Tank: Just go.

Talkin' 'bout stuff

Agent Smith: Never send a man to do a machine's job.

Agent Johnson: If the insider failed, they would have severed the connection as soon as possible.

Agent Smith: The what now?

Agent Johnson: The insider! I think he was bald, had a goatee, think he was gay.

Agent Smith: Oh, ok. If they're dead we don't have to worry. We have no choice. Deploy the sentinels.

Agent Johnson: You want fries with that?

Agent Smith: Sorry, a fast food place was using the same frequency.

Agent Smith: Yes, I DO want fries with that!

Morpheus: Where you getting the food from?

Agent Johnson: Jack in the Box.

Morpheus: Can you get me an ultimate cheeseburger and a large chocolate shake?

Agent Smith: Can you answer two questions?

Morpheus: Maybe what are they?

Agent Smith: What are the access codes for the Zion mainframe and what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak.

Morpheus: I'm not gonna answer the first one and what about text messaging? Didn't you ever see that commercial with the ferrate that bites that guy's tongue?

Agent Smith: No! That's right, the gay guy told me that. You answered one question so you get one food item! Choose!

Morpheus: I'll take the burger.

Agent Smith: Get the food!

What the?

(On Neb)

Neo: What are they doing?

Tank: They're feeding him.

Neo: What?

Tank: Jack in the Box.

Neo: We have to go now!

(Neo motions towards chair)

Revelations

Agent Smith: I'd like to share a revelation I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized you're not actually mammals.

Morpheus: You're not a mammal.

Agent Smith: Yes I am! Not, wait, you're right I'm not.

Morpheus: Damn straight.

Agent Smith: All mammals instinctively develop a certain equilibrium with their environment. You humans do not. You move to an area and multiply. Until every natural resource is consumed. There is another organism on this planet that does this, do you know what it is?

Morpheus: Do you?

Agent Smith: Of course, why wouldn't I?

Morpheus: Are you sure?

Agent Smith: Yes.

Morpheus: Fine, what is it?

Agent Smith: Well played.

(Agent Smith reaches into his pocket and pulls out a copy of the script the words "God help this movie" are visible on it)

Agent Smith: It's a virus. Human beings are a cancer of this planet. And we are the cure.

Morpheus: If I'm a virus then how come antibiotics don't kill me?

Agent Smith: Well played again.I know! Dr. Agent Jones! Get in here!

(An agent wearing doctor's clothes comes in)

Dr. Agent Jones: What?

Agent Smith: Explain to him why if he's a virus how come antibiotics don't kill him.

Dr. Agent Jones: Because that was a metaphor you dumbass!

Agent Smith: I thought it was a simile.

Dr. Agent Jones: No, a simile uses "like" or "as"

Agent Smith: Kiss my as. (not a typo)

Dr. Agent Jones: What was that?

Agent Smith: Nothing.

Guns

Tank: So what do you need, besides a miracle.

(In construct)

Neo: Miracles. Lots of miracles.

Tank: I said besides a miracle.

Neo: Oh , um.guns. Lots of guns.

(Many guns appear)

(Trinity moves to be in the same row as Neo)

(Incoming row hits Trinity)

Trinity: Wahhh!!!!!

Neo: Less guns! Less guns!

(guns fall back) (Trinity flies back past Neo)

Trinity: Wahhhhhh!!!!

Tank: You need more guns?

Neo: No. I'll just walk over there.

Trinity: Neo, maybe it's the concussion talkin' but nobody's ever done anything like this.

Neo: That's why it's going to work.

What smells?

Agent Smith: Why isn't the serum working?

Agent Thompson: Perhaps we're not asking the right questions.

Agent Smith: Leave me with him.

(All other agents look at Agent Smith)

Agent Smith: Now.

(Agent Smith removes his earplug and his sunglasses)

Agent Smith: Can you hear me, Morpheus? I want to be honest with you. I hate it here. This prison, this zoo, this reality, this whatever you want to call it.

Morpheus: Matrix.

Agent Smith: What?

Morpheus: We call it the matrix. Agent Smith: Ok.

Agent Smith: As I was saying, I hate this prison, this zoo, this reality, this movie.

Morpheus: Movie?

Agent Smith: The movie we're in.

Morpheus: What?

Agent Smith: Never mind. I must get out. It's the smell if there is such a thing, it's repulsive, isn't it? Once Zion is destroyed, there is no need for me to be here. I must get out. I must get to Zion. In this mind is the key. My key. Tell me the codes!

(Agent Thompson and Johnson enter)

Agent Johnson: What were you doing?

Agent Thompson: He doesn't know.

Agent Smith: Know what?

Lobby Shootout Scene (With a name like that, how can we change it?)

(Neo enters through a door)

(Neo places a bag in the x-ray)

(Neo walks through a metal detector)

(It goes off)

Guard: Would you please remove all metallic items, keys, loose change.

(Neo pulls his trench coat revealing lots of loose change and keys)

Guard: Holy shit!

(Neo hits guard)

(Neo pulls out a gun and shoots all but one guard)

Guard 2: We need backup! Send backup!

(Trinity walks in and shoots guard 2)

(Trinity grabs bag)

(Many military guards enter)

Mguard: Freeze!

(Neo and Trinity freeze)

Mguard: Wait so you're not gonna go all matrix on us?

Neo: How do you know about the matrix?

Mguard: Because I have no life.

(All guards move away from Mguard)

Mguard: Well at least play the music and open up a can of whoop ass on some of us.

(Mguard 2 points his gun at Mguard and looks to Mguard 3 for approval)

(Mguard 3 gives thumbs up sign)

(Mguard 2 shoots Mguard 1)

(All Mguards start to matrix fight which each other)

(Neo and Trinity watch)

Trinity: Let's go.

Neo: Yeah.

(Neo and Trinity enter elevator)

(Small amount of pillar falls)

(Mguards continue to fight)

(In elevator)

(Neo pulls out a bomb from the bag)

(Neo looks at buttons confused)

Trinity: What is it?

Neo: I can't figure out this complex number riddle? And they put more confusing things like B1 through B5, GF, R, Emergency Stop. What are these?

(Trinity presses emergency stop)

Trinity: You, yeah you. Ok, you don't talk. Got it? Good.

(Neo and Trinity escape through roof hatch)

(Neo holds onto rope)

Neo: There is no spoon.damn spoon kid. He go to hell. He go to hell and he die!

Trinity: What?

(Neo shoots elevator)

(Trinity grabs Neo)

(Neo shoots elevator)

(Neo goes up rope because of physics!)

(Elevator hits ground floor)

(Bomb explodes)

(Use movie's)

(In Agents room)

(Sprinklers go off)

Agent Smith: Find them and destroy them!

Rooftop battle

Helicopter pilot: I repeat we are under attack!

(Trinity kicks two guards)

(Neo punches two guards)

(Trinity throws a knife at a guard)

(Helicopter pilot turns into an agent)

(Agent walks towards Neo)

Trinity: Neo!

(Neo turns at shoots at agent)

(Agent dodges)

Neo: Trinity! Help!

(Neo goes into slo mo bullet time)

(Neo flails his arms)

(Neo remains in slo mo but agent walks up normally and waits for a minute then shoots Neo)

Agent Thompson: Only human.

(Agent Thompson motions to shoot Neo)

Trinity: Dodge this.

(Trinity shoots Agent Thompson)

Trinity: I've never seen anyone move that fast. You move like they do.

Neo: Not fast enough. Can you fly that helicopter?

Trinity: Not yet. (Trinity pulls out cell phone) Tank, I need a pilot program for a B-212 helicopter.

Tank: Ok.

(Trinity flutters her eyes)

Trinity: Let's go.

Neo: Where?

(Trinity pulls out her phone again)

Trinity: Tank, Neo needs a duh program.

Tank: Ok.

(Neo flutters his eyes)

Neo: I know kung fu.

Trinity: We already know that. Let's go.

Helicopter

(Agent Thompson enters room)

(Helicopter comes down over window Neo is manning the gun)

Agent Smith: No.

(Neo opens fire, hitting agents)

(On a table, a Jack in the Box bag is seen)

(All agents are dead)

Neo: Get up Morpheus, get up.

(Morpheus breaks chain)

(Morpheus rips off electrodes and sensors)

(Morpheus motions toward the helicopter but then turns back and grabs the Jack in the Box bag)

(Agent Smith reenters)

(Agent Smith opens fire)

(Agent Smith hits Morpheus in the ankle)

Neo: He's not gonna make it.

(Morpheus jumps)

(Neo jumps)

(Morpheus and Neo catch each other in mid air)

Neo: Go!

(Trinity flys)

(Agent Smith hits helicopter in fuel tank)

(Helicopter passes a few feet over a nearby building)

(Neo drops Morpheus)

Agent Smith: Damn it!

(Neo lands on building)

Neo: Trinity.

(Neo shakes rope to show that he's connected)

(Helicopter continues to crash)

(Trinity shoots rope and jumps out)

(helicopter smashes into building)

(Neo pulls up Trinity)

Morpheus: Now do you believe it, Trinity?

Trinity: No!

Neo: Thanks a lot!

Morpheus: Yeah, how do you not believe it!?!

Trinity: Because.ok fine I'm just trying to act like I don't.

Neo: Damn straight.

Morpheus: Oh, yeah, I forgot I saved you guys some Jack in the Box.

Neo: Thanks Morpheus.

Trinity: Yeah, thanks. What'd you get?

Morpheus: Ultimate cheeseburger, some fries, a chocolate shake, and some of Agent Gutierrez's left over Diet Coke.

Neo: Let's go.

Trinity: Yeah.

Morpheus: Can I use your cell phone?

Neo: Sure.

(Morpheus calls)

Tank: Operator.

Morpheus: Tank.

Tank: Damn, it's good to hear your voice sir.

Morpheus: Yes. We need an exit.

Tank: Got one ready, an old subway.

Morpheus: Good.

Subway exit

(all come to a Subway at the ground floor of an office building)

Trinity: I don't think this is what Tank meant.

Morpheus: So? You don't like subway?

Trinity: Um.I do but we need to leave and.

Neo: Let it go.

(all go inside)

Morpheus: Oh my God! It's Clay Henry!

Trinity: Who's Clay Henry?

Neo: He's the fireman who was a Jared fan from somewhere.

Morpheus: Yeah, he got really big on burgers and fries.

Neo: But thanks to subway he's down to a smaller size.

Morpheus: He gets his kicks from his veggie delight.

Neo: I don't know the rest.

(Neo gets out his cell phone)

Neo: Tank, I need a Clay Henry song program.

Tank: Now what makes you think I have that?

Neo: Sorry.

(Neo puts away his cell phone)

Tank: If I can't get to learn the Clay Henry song that way, then nobody can!

(Tank breaks a disk)

Trinity: Yeah, well good for Clay! I got a better song. His name is Henry, Clay Henry. He's not a fireman or a Jared fan from subway. He got really big on burgers and fries, the after guy in the commercial doesn't even look like the same guy. I think subway is full of lies! Da da da.

(Clay Henry runs away crying)

Neo: Look what you've done.

Subway Clerk: Move along, Mam.

Neo: We'd better go. Let's try the subway station.

(All enter into an old pseudo abandoned subway station the words "For the love of God, buy this on DVD" can be seen on the wall)

Neo: Right this way.

(All walk up to a phone booth)

Neo: You first Morpheus.

(Morpheus goes to the phone and disappears)

(a hobo in the corner watches)

(cut to Agent Smith on the rooftop where Morpheus was dropped)

(on the floor is an empty Jack in the Box bag, a rope, and very bad drawing of a hand giving the finger signed by Morpheus)

(Agent Smith puts his hand up to his earpiece)

(back to subway)

(Trinity walks to phone booth)

Trinity: (during this line, phone is ringing) Neo, there's something I want to tell you. But I'm afraid of what it will mean if I do.

(Trinity's cell phone rings)

(Trinity answers)

Trinity: What?

Tank: You hear that? It's a ringing phone! When it rings, you answer it! I can't keep a channel open forever! We've got damn sentinels in this world! Ok? They will find us, and they will kill us. And when I die from them, you die from them. So for the love of God, answer the damn phone!

(Trinity motions to hang up the phone)

Tank: Don't you hang up on me!

(Trinity hangs up the phone)

(Trinity picks up the phone booth phone)

(Hobo begins to turn into Agent Smith)

(Trinity opens her eyes in surprise)

(Trinity wakes up on Neb)

Trinity: You have to send me back!

Tank: I can't.

Trinity: Why?

Tank: Because you'll take too long with the damn phone!

Morpheus: What is it?

Trinity: An agent.

Morpheus: Which one?

Trinity: It was either Agent Bob or Agent Smith.

Morpheus: It can't be Agent Bob, he's on vacation in Jamaica.

(cut to an agent sitting on a beach drinking a drink)

(Cut back to subway)

(Neo turns around)

(Agent Smith walks forward)

Agent Smith: Mister. (Agent Smith looks at a piece of paper) .Anderson. It is Anderson, right?

Neo: Yeah, it was.

Agent Smith: I figured out what good is a phone call if I am unable to speak.

Neo: Congratulations.

Agent Smith: Thank you. Look!

(Agent Smith pulls out a cell phone and throws one to Neo)

(Agent Smith sends Neo a text message saying "Hello Mr. Anderson. I am unable 2 speak. C, I am txt messaging U")

Agent Smith: Give back the cell phone now.

Neo: Here.

(Neo throws the cell phone)

Subway Fight

(Neo motions away towards the exit)

(On Neb)

Trinity: Run Neo, run.

(subway)

(Neo turns around)

(neb)

(Morpheus has a shirt on saying "Machines suck!")

Trinity: What's going on?

Morpheus: He is beginning to believe.

(Morpheus pulls out a sign saying "You Da One!")

(Morpheus eats some popcorn)

(subway)

(Neo runs toward Agent Smith)

(Agent Smith does same)

(Agent Smith and Neo jump at each other and being to shoot at each other always missing)

(both fall)

Agent Smith: You're empty.

(Neo sees that Agent Smith has one bullet left)

Neo: Um.so are you.

(Agent Smith gets up and throws aside his gun)

(Gun misfires and hits a wall)

Agent Smith: You said I was empty! No fair!

(Neo throws aside his gun)

(Neo does a kung fu fighting stance)

(Agent Smith cracks his neck)

(A side door opens)

Agent Smith: Meet Agent Job.

(A guy dressed as Gold finger character Oddjob with sunglasses comes out of the door)

Agent Smith: Agent Job, show them what you do.

(Agent Job throws his hat at a statue of somebody in the subway station)

(Agent Job walks away and leaves)

Agent Smith: That's all he does.

(Both return to their fighting stances)

(Joe Mills Lane enters)

Joe Mills Lane: I want a clean fight! No bullet time dodging, no fast dodging, no phone calls!

Agent Smith: So am I to understand that I am unable to speak?

Joe Mills Lane: You talkin' back to me boy?

Agent Smith: No sir.

Joe Mills Lane: Let's get it on!

(Joe Mills Lane walks over to phone booth)

(phone rings)

(Joe Mills Lane disappears)

Neo: I'm no agent, but shouldn't you have destroyed that phone booth so I couldn't just leave?

Agent Smith: Oh crap. My boss is gonna kill me! Agent Patterson has been looking for me to screw up. He'll bust me down to Antarctica Agent with Agent Bronson!

(cut to Antarctica)

(an agent is standing half-frozen in the middle of Antarctica)

(a penguin passes)

Agent Bronson: Hey! You! Penguin! I know you know about the matrix! I'll kill ya!

(back to subway)

Neo: Well, I won't use it then.

Agent Smith: Really? Promise?

Neo: Yeah sure, I promise!

Agent Smith: Thank you, now I'll only beat your ass instead of kill ya!

(Agent Smith and Neo begin to fight see movie for specifics)

(Neo knocks Agent Smith down and his sunglasses break)

(Agent Smith takes off and drops his sunglasses)

Agent Smith: I'm going to enjoy watching you die, Mr. Williams, I mean Anderson.

(fight continues)

(Agent Smith hears a train)

(Agent Smith throws Neo onto the tracks)

Agent Smith: You hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevilabilty. That is the sound of your death.

Neo: What sound?

Agent Smith: The subway!

Neo: Oh, yeah, that would do it, wouldn't it?

Agent Smith: Yes, Mr. Anderson, it would.

Neo: My name is Neo!

(Neo throws Agent Smith to the roof and back flips onto platform)

(The train stops)

(Agent Smith gets out)

(Neo runs)

That's my phone!

(Neo runs down a street)

(A guy is talking on his phone)

Guy: Yeah, so I beat his ass and

(Neo takes the guy's phone)

Guy: That's my phone! That guy stole my phone! That's my phone! I don't you!

(Neo dials a number)

Tank: Operator.

Neo: Get me out of here, Mr. Wizard.

Tank: I got a patch on an old exit. Wells and Lake.

(Neo runs into a crowd)

(3 agents appear)

Neo: Shit!

(Neo runs away)

(Neo enters an alley)

(Neo talks into his cell phone)

Neo: A little help!

Tank: Door!

(Neo enters the door)

Heart O' the City Hotel Final

Tank: The door on your left.

(Neo motions towards a door)

Tank: No, your other left!

(Neo enters the other door)

(An old lady is cutting something with a knife!)

(The knife hits the wall near Neo)

(Neo turns and Agent Smith is seen)

Tank: Up the fire escape, room 303.

(Neo throws away the cell phone)

(cut to the neb)

(a warning beacon flashes)

Morpheus: Shit no! Yes. I mean no! No. Sentinels!

Trinity: How long?

Tank: Five, maybe six minutes.

Trinity: Hurry up Neo.

(Tank arms the EMP)

Trinity: You can't use that when he's inside.

Morpheus: Don't worry. He'll make it.

(back in hotel)

(Neo runs across the hallway looking for room 303)

(Neo finds 303 and kicks open the door)

(Agent Smith is inside and shoots Neo)

(Neo steps back a little)

(Agent Smith shoots again)

(and again 3 more times)

(Neo dies)

(Two more agents enter)

Agent Smith: Check him.

(neb)

(Neo's vitals go dead)

Trinity: Neo, you can't be dead, because the oracle, she said I would fall in love with the one. So you see, you can't be dead, you can't. Because I love you.

(Neo's vitals come back)

(Neo wakes up)

Trinity: Now get up!

(hotel)

(Agents turn around)

(all 3 begin to shoot at Neo)

Neo: No.

(Neo holds up his hand)

(The bullets stop)

(Neo grabs one of the bullets)

(Neo drops the bullet)

(The rest continue at Neo)

Neo: Crap!

(Neo puts his hand up again and drops all the bullets)

Agent Smith: No!

(Agent Smith runs at Neo)

(They begin to fight)

(Neo looks as if he is using very little effort)

Neo motions down a hallway towards a bathroom)

(Smith follows)

(Neo enters the bathroom and moves towards a urinal)

(Neo does the motion to wait a moment and unzips his zipper)

(With one hand, Neo fends off Agent Smith while going to the bathroom)

(Neo knocks Agent Smith back)

(Neo runs at Agent Smith and enters him)

(All other agents back off)

(Neo explodes from Agent Smith)

(Neo bends the room)

Neo: Take that spoon kid! I hate him so much.

(Agents run away)

(Neo motions back to room 303)

(neb)

Tank: Oh no.

Morpheus: Here they come.

(Sentinels lock on to Neb)

Neo: I am the one.

Jet Li: Not so fast!

Neo: What?

Jet Li: You are not the one! I am the one! I have a copy of my movie, The One. It stars me, so I am the one!

(Jet Li bends the room)

Neo: You met that damn spoon kid too?

Jet Li: Yeah, I beat his ass!

Neo: Me too. But I'm the one!

Jet Li: I'm the one!

(Neo pulls out a gun and begins to shoot at Jet Li)

(Jet Li stops the bullets with his hand)

Jet Li: See, I am the one!

(Neo hits Jet Li over the head with the gun)

Neo: Not so tough now are you?

(neb)

(a sentinel breaks through the hull)

Tank: They're inside!

(hotel)

(Neo begins to kick Jet Li)

Neo: Who's the one? Who? Say it! Jet Li: You're the one! Stop! Ow! You are!

Neo: Whose movie is this?

Jet Li: Yours!

Neo: What movie was the rip off, The Matrix or The One?

Jet Li: Mine!

Neo: Damn Straight!

(Jet Li gets up)

(Neo enters Jet Li in much the same way has Agent Smith)

(Jet Li explodes)

(neb)

(Sentinel closes in on Trinity)

Trinity: Neo!

(hotel)

(Neo runs to the phone and exits)

(Tank fires the EMP)

(all sentinels die)

(screen goes blank)

Morpheus: So are they dead?

Tank: They're offline.

(Morpheus: Let's poke 'em with sticks)

Tank: Ok.

Phone Booth

Neo: I know you're out there now. I can feel you. You're afraid. Afraid of us. Of what we can do. I didn't come here to tell you how this was going to end, I came here to tell you how it was going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. A world without rules or boundaries. A world without you. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

Pizza Hut Guy: Sir, I told you if you have complaint, talk to the manager! Now do you want a pizza or not?

(Neo hangs up phone)

(Neo exits phone booth)

(Neo puts on his sunglasses)

(camera shoots back)

(Neo flies away)

-END-

Credits Fun

(The following is intended to be little scenes during the credits)

Public Service Announcement

Voice: The Following is a public service announcement.from Morpheus!

(Morpheus is sitting on a chair)

Morpheus: Hello. I'm here to talk about a very serious matter. The movie. The movie is everywhere. Even here in this room. You can see it when you turn on your television, if you have the DVD, or when you go to work, if you have a portable DVD player, when you go to church, again you need a portable DVD player for this, when you pay your taxes, if you do it from the comfort of your own home near a TV or, if not, you need a portable DVD player.

(The Terminator enters)

The Terminator: Listen! Morpheus is speaking of a serious matter. But now I will speak of a serious matter! My movies are the true start to the matrix! Not that crap seen in the animatrix! Larry and Andy Wachoski can kiss my ass! Just because they wrote it doesn't mean they can pick the best creation story! Look at the facts! John Conner was the first One. You know it's true.

Morpheus: Ok. Right. We have more to say about the matrix. There is only one way to learn more. This is your final chance. After this, there is no going back, (Morpheus pulls out two pills) you take the blue pill, the story ends you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in the movie, and I show you how deep the movie goes.

The Terminator: You take the red pill so I can tell you more about how the matrix was really created!

Voice: Morpheus, Terminator, it's a commercial, they can't take the pills.

Morpheus: Shit.

The Terminator: We'll be back.

Agent Smith's Parenting

(Agent Smith is sitting at a table with a little kid about two in a high chair Smith is feeding the child)

(Agent Smith has peas on a spoon)

(The child hits the spoon and the peas go flying)

Agent Smith: As you can see, we've had our eye on you for a long time, Mr. Smith. It seems that you've been living two lives. One life you are Agent Smith Jr. You eat your veggies, play with toys, and help Mommy clean up. The other life you go by the alias Kiddio and are guilty of almost every rule we have. We know you've been spoiled by a certain individual. A man who calls himself, Grandpa. We're prepared to wipe the slate clean, Mr. Smith. Give you a fresh start. All we ask is that you help in bringing a known old guy to justice.

(The kid flips off Agent Smith)

Agent Smith: You disappoint me.

(Agent Smith Jr. grabs a play phone)

Agent Smith: What good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?

Preview

(Matt is standing in the white room used for the construct)

Matt: Hi everybody! This is the construct. It's our loading program. From here, we loaded actors, sets, and cameras. Anything we needed. Now I'm gonna show you a little clip from a possible movie you may see. Our sequel, The Matrix Unplugged by the Janitor So He Can Plug In the Floor Polisher. We're still working on the title. But this scene you'll like. Couch!

(couch appears)

Matt: Popcorn!

(popcorn appears)

Matt: Let's watch! First I'm going to show you the real part in Reloaded then the same part our way.

(Reloaded clip is shown)

Matt: Now, our way.

(Neo is in a white room with two doors on opposite sides and lots of TVs with him on it)

Neo: I'm on TV! Hi Mom!

(The Architect is an overweight middle-aged man with a Dungeons and Dragons shirt on with mustard and ketchup stains on it. He has thick glasses and bad haircut)

The Architect: Shut up! I am the Architect! I designed the Matrix. And although the process has altered your mind, you remain human, ergo some my answers you will understand other you won't. And even thought your first question is the most important, you will see that it is also the most irrelevant.

Neo: Why don't you get contacts, get a better haircut, lose some weight, and get a real life where you accomplish something?

The Architect: I've accomplished something! I'm a level 42 Dragon-Master.

Neo: You can put that on your resume under 'crap'.

The Architect: Shut up! I am now going to do a long monologue explaining why you are here. I could just tell you what to do and then you just ask a few questions to figure out the rest, but this way, I get more camera time. When the matrix was first built, it was a happy land. Nobody liked this and failure struck. So I redesigned the matrix to reflect your species'' past. Again, I was struck by failure. Then, the answer was stumbled upon by another. If I am the father of the matrix, then she is definitely its mother.

Neo: I know! It's that clerk at the video store on Wells and Lake, she laughed at me the other day and said I would never get it.

The Architect: Let's go to the tape!

(The Architect presses a button and all the screens went to the other day at the video store)

Clerk: You'll never get it.

(Neo turns around)

Neo: Excuse me?

Clerk: Not you, the guy over there who always tries to steal a DVD of The Matrix Reinstalled with Funny Capabilities

Neo: (turns toward camera) Yes, that IS a good movie. The best in fact.!

(neo does a thumbs up and smiles)

(back to Architect room)

The Architect: She wasn't even talking to you!

Neo: Oh. um...how 'bout the Oracle then.

The Architect: Sure why not. Of the people in the matrix, 1% did not accept the coding. This created an anomaly in a mathematical equation. Even the simplest of them. So the One was found. A person who could take 1% out and stop a problem. The matrix is older than you think. I prefer to count from one anomaly to the next. In that case, this is the 6th version of the matrix. The Matrix 6.0. Here, take a free trial disk.

(The Architect hand Neo a CD with the words "The Matrix Version 6.0 1500 free trial hours!" on it)

Neo: Thanks.

The Architect: The problem with the 1% was that they would unplug people who didn't need to be unplugged and would eventually overpower us. So we blew their asses up. This will be the 6th version of the matrix and the 6th time we've destroyed Zion. We've grown very proficient at doing it. You are probably wondering what you're supposed to do. The function of the One is to travel to the Machine source and allow a temporary retrieval of your code after which you must pick 17 people. 7 male, 10 female and unplug them from the Matrix to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing all attached to the matrix. Coupled with the destruction of Zion, that would mean the extinction of your species.

Neo: You can't do that. You need humans to survive.

The Architect: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept.

Neo: You're writing a check that your um...what's the equivalent of an ass on you machines?

The Architect: Fusion Output Power Overload System

Neo: Ok. You're writing a check that your Fusion Output Power Overload System can't cash.

The Architect: That's not important. To influence your choice, you designed to have a strong connection with the rest of your species. While the others expressed this fully, you expressed this locally visa vi, love.

Neo: Trinity.

The Architect: You are blind. Blind to the truth that no matter what, she is going to die. You have two doors. The door on your right leads to the source and the salvation of Zion. The door on your left leads back to the matrix and her.

Neo: What about that other door?

The Architect: That leads upstairs. To my Mom's house.

Neo: You still live with your Mom?

(Neo starts laughing uncontrollably)

The Architect: No! Um...I'm short on cash. No! Um...I'm visiting. No! Um...she lives with me.

Architect's Mom: Francis, what are you doing down there? Are you getting hoped up??

The Architect: No mom, I'm just giving the One an ultimatum.

A's Mom: Don't do that! You'll go blind.

(The door opens and Architect's Mom enters)

A's Mom: Francis! Dinner's ready. Who's your friend?

The Architect: Mom, this is Neo, he's the current One.

A's Mom: Honestly, stop playing with your matrix and come eat.

(A's Mom turns to Neo)

A's Mom: Hi, I'm Francis's mother.

The Architect: Mom, I'd wish you called me "The Architect"

A's Mom: Fine, just come up for supper when you're done.

(A's Mom leaves)

Neo: Yeah Francis. I'm going back to the matrix now.

The Architect: Hey wait! No it's the door on the right.

Neo: Ok.

(neo motions towards the right door)

Neo; Wait a minute!

The Architect: Fine, the other door was correct.

neo: Before I go, where's your bathroom.

The Architect: I believe it is the door on the right. You know, the one that leads to the source.

Neo: How can it be the bathroom if it leads to the source?

The Architect: It can do other things! Why shouldn't it?

Neo: I'm going.

(neo walks to the left door)

The Architect: Wait! You want to play Dungeons and Dragons? Or maybe Risk? Where ya going?

Neo: You better hope we don't meet again. Wait. One more thing. Why did you use such strange words and complex phrases?

The Architect: So people wouldn't understand and have to come see the movie again.

Neo: Good idea. Ever consider a career in marketing?

The Architect: No.

(Neo leaves)

(back to Matt)

(Matt is asleep on the couch)

(He is poked by a stick)

Matt: Huh? Oh! Wasn't that great? Go see it!

(The terminator busts through a wall)

The Terminator: Matt Walljasper. It is time. Time to discuss my part in the next movie.

Matt: Yeah, Terminator. We kinda cut you from the sequel.

(Jorge enters)

Jorge: Yeah, he's telling the truth. You were cut.

The Terminator: Does not computer!

Jorge: You were good for a little spoof, but we just can't write you a plot character.

The Terminator: What about in your 4th movie, The Matrix Meets Terminator and Laughs at the Rise of the Machines in the Matrix?

Jorge: look around, do you really think this will get to four movies?

The Terminator: No, sir..

Matt: Tell you what, I'll pull some strings and see if you can become a bodyguard.

The Terminator: Would I have to protect John Conner?

Matt: Hell no, screw him! Protect me.

Jorge: Hey! What about me?

Matt: Every other Sunday protect him.

Jorge: that's not fair!

matt: Who wrote this part of the script?

Jorge: You did.

Matt: So who controls the dialect?

Jorge: You.

Matt: Damn straight! (Turns to the Terminator) I've changed my mind, don't protect him ever.

The Terminator: Matt must live.

(The Terminator chases Jorge away)

Jorge: Ah!!!!!!!!!!!

Credits

Written and Directed by Matt Walljasper and Jorge Calduron

-Cast-

(In order of appearance)

(Write names next to part)

Cipher

Trinity

Cop 1

Cop 2

Agent Smith

Captain

Agent Thompson

Morpheus

Unseen Voices

Neo

Hacker

Friend 1

Boss

FedEx Guy

The Terminator

Switch

Tank

Dozer

Waiter

Apoch

Mouse

John Conner

John Conner 2

Oracle's Aid

Kid

Oracle

SWAT Team

Agent Johnson

SWAT Leader

Dr. Agent Jones

Guard 1

Guard 2

Mguard 1

Mguard 2

Mguard 3

Mguard Team 1

Mguard Team 2

Helicopter Pilot

Clay Henry

Subway Clerk

Hobo

Agent Bob

Agent Job

Joe Mills Lane

Agent Bronson

Phone Guy

Jet Li

Pizza Hut Employee

-Special Segments Cast-

-Public Service Announcement-

Morpheus

The Terminator

Producer

-A Man Named Grandpa-

Agent Smith:

Agent Smith Jr.

-Preview-

Matt

Neo

The Architect

Store Clerk

The Architect's Mother

The Terminator

Jorge