I don't own any GI Joe characters. Sorry. Well I finally got around to doing Jinx. You didn't think I'd actually forget this did you? This will be fun!
Know Your Joe's Relationship Problems
"Hey guys guess who's finally back on TV again?" Shipwreck called out.
"I wonder who their next victim is?" Dial Tone asked.
"Welcome back to 'Know Your Joe'," Short Fuse spoke cheerfully.
"Despite public appeal we're back on the air," Quick Kick grinned. "And our guest this evening is Lt. Falcon. And he's happy to be here, aren't you Falcon?"
"FALCON!" Duke shouted. "What the devil is my idiot half brother thinking?"
"Oh yes I'm willing to give you all an exclusive interview about my feelings for Jinx and our relationship," Falcon grinned.
"I think the question is what is he thinking with?" Low Light groaned.
"Oh this is not going to be pretty," Lifeline winced. "I'd better get the bandages ready."
"I'm not going to beat up my brother for acting like an idiot," Duke said. "If I did he'd have been dead long ago."
"Actually Duke, it's not you Falcon needs to worry about," Lifeline sighed.
"I tell you Jinx is totally hot!" Falcon said. "That girl is always all over me!"
"Something tells me there is going to be some truth to that statement pretty soon," Spirit remarked.
"I tell you that girl always misses me like crazy!" Falcon smiled. Someone tapped his shoulder. "Huh? Jinx?" That was when she knocked him to the ground with one punch.
"She didn't miss that time," Dial Tone snickered.
"Oh that has gotta hurt," Shipwreck winced.
"Jinx babe…" Falcon gasped. "So what's wrong?"
"That is it Falcon!" Jinx snapped "We are so through!"
"Aw come on I was trying to give you a complement!" Falcon gulped.
"That's not what I saw you trying to get!" Jinx snapped. "How dare you spread lies about our relationship! On TV no less!"
"Hey, it's only the Joes!" Falcon said. "It's not exactly a major network you know!"
"I don't care if it's a dinky station in the Antarctic where the audience consists of a blind old guy and some penguins!" Jinx shouted. "I have had it!"
"Oh this is gonna be good," Shipwreck grinned as Jinx launched her tirade against him. "There's nothing better than watching a guy getting dissed by a girl!"
"Especially when it's not you huh?" Low Light remarked.
"And another thing…" Jinx continued. "I am not doing your laundry anymore! That is the last time I wash those little pink boxer shorts of yours that say 'Hot Hunk' on them!"
"THEY'RE NOT PINK!" Falcon shouted. "They were white but somebody put something red in the wash with them and…"
"And how did the 'Hot Hunk' appear on them?" Short Fuse asked. "Somebody write on them when you were asleep or something?"
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Both Falcon and Jinx shouted at him.
"Jinx you don't wanna break up with me over this!" Falcon said.
"Actually Falcon I want to break you up into little pieces over this!" Jinx snarled.
"Come on Jinx, you know you'll never find a guy like me!" Falcon tried to charm her.
"That's kind of the point of breaking up moron!" Jinx shouted.
"Give him a break Jinx it's not like he was running around with that Rachel chick again…" Short Fuse said. "Oops."
"WHO'S RACHEL?" Jinx snarled. "AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN…AGAIN?"
"Thanks a lot pal…" Falcon groaned.
"I am going kick your butt so hard plastic surgeons are gonna have to remove it from your face!" Jinx snarled.
"It was his idea!" Falcon pointed to Short Fuse.
"What?" Jinx glared at him.
"Liar! I mean…How about we interview you Jinx?" Short Fuse gulped. "Seeing as we have a hole in the schedule…"
"Not to mention several holes in your head!" Jinx snapped at him.
"But…but you know a lot of interesting stuff…" Short Fuse gulped as he backed away from her. "You know a lot of techniques like the Ear that Sees…The Hands that Fly…"
"Yeah I also know the Foot that Kicks Butt!" Jinx snapped. "How about a demonstration?"
"RUN!" Falcon screamed as he tried to get away from her.
"Oh no you don't!" Jinx grabbed the both of them and started to beat them up. "You wanted an exclusive? Well you got one!"
"MOMMY!" Short Fuse shouted.
"Oh man," Duke winced. "I can't watch. Yes I can."
"I told you so," Lifeline sighed as he left the room. "I'd better ready the intensive care unit."
"Well that wraps things up here. Next on Know Your Joe," Quick Kick said. "We plan to explore the love triangle of Duke/Scarlet/ and Snake Eyes!"
"WHAT?" Duke shouted.
That was when several throwing stars flew out and nearly skewered Quick Kick.
"Or not!" Quick Kick yelled. "Snake Eyes come on! No! Put down the sharp pointy throwing stars! Yeow! That hurts!"
"Oh great now two angry ninjas are beating them up," Duke said as he watched two ninjas trash the three soldiers.
"Yeah who says there's nothing good on TV anymore?" Low Light quipped. "Oh I gotta get a copy of this. This would take care of at least half my Christmas shopping!"
"Important things you need to know in life number 15," Shipwreck grinned. "Never tick off an ninja!"