Even now, there are still many things that I want to know. I have a lot of regrets; I should have studied and explored more when the chance was there. Now, all I can do is wonder, and dream up hypotheses with no means of testing them.
What was it about digivolving that was so important? How could I have not realised its significance previously? Of course we all knew that digivolving was important - ever since the first time our partners became Rookies to fend off Kuwagamon. But I never thought as much of it as I ought to have; it was a useful tool and means of defeating enemies, but not much more.
I suppose I thought that the digivolved forms were programmed into the Digimon's code just as we have the 'recipe' for becoming adults programmed into our DNA. But then... how could they become such *different* Digimon, like Gatomon turning into a woman, or Motimon becoming a beetle?
And then there was Greymon's alternate digivolutions. Gennai mentioning that, just before we left, was what really drove it into me. Now that I think about it, he always hinted at how important digivolutions were. I remember our first and only real conversation, when he referred to attributes and all I could think of were attacks - what I considered the most useful attribute, of course. But he instantly added that attributes also meant digivolving power.
Apocalymon, made from the remnants of Digimon who could not digivolve... those Digimon that couldn't digivolve became extinct... could it be true that Digimon are only useful if they can reach new levels?
I suppose it's understandable. If it is true that Digimon represent digital data in our world, it's often the case that unless technology is updated and upgraded, it becomes obsolete.
Apocalymon was most powerful though... the inability to digivolve must have power, too.
Since we returned from the digital world, it is almost as though it never existed - I can't find any link to it at all. All we have are our digivices to remind us that any of it even happened. Even the best of my knowledge was not enough to gain me any contact with the digital world, or any answers to my questions.
I asked the others what they thought about digivolving... a rather typical collection of responses, I suppose.
Tai said that digivolving was great, and that he wished *he* could do it too, and that was really what saved us all, the power to digivolve. Then he started pounding his fist into his hand and saying he wished he could go into action again. He started scaring me so I left about then.
Sora repeated something Biyomon had told her, that digivolving wasn't just about becoming stronger and learning a new attack - it was about feeling like a better and more capable Digimon and seeing your inner strength represented in that new form.
Matt said he thought that Digimon who digivolved on their own - ie not ours - would have only been able to reach the higher levels in special situations, and that maybe some of them relied upon the power of their friends to help them too.
TK said it was like the Digimon growing up, but it didn't matter so long as the Digimon was happy.
Joe told me about how Leomon had learned to skip a digivolution stage because of our digivices. He thought that Digimon had a bunch of different possible digivolved stages programmed into themselves but that different things could trigger different digivolutions. Then he said he was amazed that Gomamon hadn't digivolved into Gluttonmon, and started recounting a long boring story about Gomamon stealing his food.
Kari thought that digivolving changed everything about a Digimon except for their heart. She said that she felt the same love from Angewomon as from Gatomon.
Mimi said that was a typically boring question for me to ask, and that it didn't matter so long as the Digimon was strong enough to survive, then she started crying and said she hoped Leomon was reborn safely and that Palmon was alright. I left as soon as she became emotional... I should have known better.
I think my friends are all right. If there is some deep secret to digivolving, some amazing power we didn't uncover, then I suppose I will never know about it. All I really have to go by is a memory...
"Motimon," I said, "I really *am* sorry..."
I could tell he was tired and I felt bad every time I looked down and saw him in that form. If I hadn't gone in there and become trapped in the first place, he would have never been forced to expend so much energy...
"Aw, don't worry about it Izzy," he said, and grinned, "if you hadn't lost your curiousity, I'd have never gotten to digivolve!"
"Was it worth it?"
"Digivolving is worth any sacrifice!"
I stopped walking altogether, and he squirmed in my arms, trying to get more comfortable.
"What do you mean by that, Motimon?"
"Digimon exist to digivolve, just like humans exist to grow up! I couldn't digivolve without your help! And now that you've figured out the power of your crest, I'll be ready for any new enemies that come up!"
"Hmm..." I thought for a moment, a dozen new questions coming into my mind. But before I could speak a word, Motimon waved a hand (finger? claw? arm?) in my face.
"Uh uh!" he said, "you've got that I'm-about-to-interrogate-Motimon look on your face again!"
I sweatdropped. "I'm that transparent?"
"In a word, yes."
"Izzy, come ON!"
Matt and TK had gone quite a way in front of me when I stopped, and now had paused to wait for me to catch up. I called an apology and started to run after them.
"Izzy," said Motimon, being jolted in my arms, "I wanted to thank you..."
"Huh? For what, Motimon?"
"For sharing your power with me, of course!"
I wasn't sure how to answer that, as I caught up to the others. Matt smiled at me and TK linked his arm through mine.
And we continued on our way, like that, and that's when I thought that there were sometimes things more important than knowledge, and some things where it didn't matter whether you could express them in words. Digivolving and friendship, our two advantages that kept us winning, both fit into that category.
The other kids are meeting in the park to play soccer. I was going to stay here, but maybe I'll turn the computer off and go join them...