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Spike drew back a fist, and hit the demon in the face. As the huge beast flew back into the wall he grinned.

"Faster than a speeding bullet...especially in bed." Said Buffy from atop the tombstone the demon landed under.

"Hey!" Said Spike.

"Stronger than a locomotive...especially if you try to change the channel from his soaps." Said Buffy, jumping down from the tombstone to land beside the demon.

"Now you're getting personal, girl!" Warned Spike, advancing on her.

She punched the demon. "Able to leap...well, onto the couch."

"You're hurting my feelings." Said Spike dangerously. Buffy grabbed the demon by the neck.

"It's SuperVamp!" Concluded Buffy.

Spike grabbed a sword off the ground and whirled it around, cutting off the demon's head. "Aw, come on." He said. "I thought we agreed just Spike was fine."

She shrugged. "It lacks the oomph of SuperVamp. Although, hey, did you see how far that demon flew? You really are strong." She moved closer, running a hand up his bicep. "Oh so very strong." She said breathily, batting her eyelashes in an exaggerated way.

He growled and kissed her.

"Ew!" Said a loud voice, and Dawn stepped out from behind the tombstone. "Is that what you spend all your patrol time doing?"

Buffy sighed, pulling away from Spike. "Dawn, what is the number one rule when Spike let's you go on patrol with us even though I told him not to?"

"Uh, be quiet so vampires don't hear me?" Asked Dawn.

"Exactly." Said Buffy, kissing Spike again. "So shut up." She added in between kisses.

Dawn pouted. "I'm gonna tell mom." She muttered.

Buffy broke off the kiss with a sigh. She resumed walking towards the south end of the graveyard, Spike falling in behind her. Dawn scrambled to keep up with them.

"Why do we even bring her along?" Asked Buffy.

"Bait." Replied Spike with a grin, easily hoisting the teenage into the air with strong arms. She squealed as he set her down on his back, and grabbed hold of him around the neck. He made a choking noise. "Sort of need to breathe, Bit." He said.

"No you don't!" She said cheerfully.

Buffy shook her head. "And Giles, owning the Magic Shop? I mean, the owner there has an alarming tendency to die a lot." She changed the subject so abruptly that Spike actually felt his brain squeal to a stop, switch gears, and start again.

"Yeah, an` tha` woul` be ba`. Right?" Asked Spike, still choking. Dawn increased her grip, all too aware that choking him couldn't kill him.

Buffy glared at Dawn. "Choking violates the terms of the treaty. Treaty violations mean no more patrolling and no more piggy-back rides. Now let him talk."

Dawn released him reluctantly, shifting her grip to his shoulders, pouting in a miniature version of Buffy's pout. "Puh-lease. Like a piggy-back ride would appeal to me. I'm twelve, now. Not just a kid anymore."

Spike nodded. "Bloody right. If you'd been around in my day, you'd be either an old maid or married already."

"Ew!" Said Dawn.

Spike chuckled. "Hey, smell that?" He asked.

"What?" Said Buffy.

"Demon." Said Spike, turning around.

A tall demon in dark flowing robes stepped out of the shadows. "Slayer." He said roughly.

His skin was dark, and cracked, with long ridges. In the low valleys an orange light seemed glow, fire under his skin. He lifted a long rod in his hand. A flash of fire darted out at Buffy, but at the last second a strong hand pushed Buffy away.

Dawn squealed as Spike threw her behind a gravestone, and then he swooped towards the demon. A literal swooping, in this case, as he used unnaturally strong legs for a jump that sent him flying, landing beside the demon. Legs unnaturally strong, even for a vampire. He turned to the demon.

Who blasted Spike with his rod, throwing him across the graveyard.

"Spike!" Yelled Buffy.

The demon glanced at her, and saw the look in her eyes. Saw the hate, saw the jealous protection of her boyfriend. Saw his future.

He wisely decided that discretion was the better part of valor and fled.

Buffy and Dawn charged towards where Spike lay. "No, no, no!" Said Buffy, sliding in next to Spike, who groaned loudly when she grabbed him. "Yes!" She said, leaning in to kiss him.

His eyes flashed wide open, yellow light flaming out of them with the intensity of his emotion as he shifted quickly into vampire face. He let out a long, loud roar, throwing his head back against the tombstone behind him, pushing Buffy away.

He let out a series of long pants, clutching at his chest. "Oh, god." He breathed. "Oh, god, it hurts!! It hurts!" Dawn just stared.

"Spike, talk to me!" Said Buffy, moving back to him.

He squeezed his eyes closed. "Uh, aaah!" He groaned. "I can't, my face, I can't be human." After a moment the heavy unnatural scowl began to recede, his eyes fading to blue. "That hurt." He said absently, rubbing his chest with his right hand in hard, probing strokes. "Oh, that hurt."

"Are you okay?" Asked Dawn, leaning close. His eyes snapped to her, his nostrils flaring, and his vampiric visage returned instantly. "Aah!" He growled. "Dawn, stay back. Just...stay back." He took a few heavy, panting breaths. He pulled up a hand, scraping at his chest, tearing at his shirt. "It's empty." He whispered. "Empty."

"What is?" Asked Buffy.

"My soul." He replied. "It's gone."

There was a low moan from the other side of the tombstone Spike was leaning against. Buffy stiffened, pulling a stake out of the waistband of her jeans. "Hold on." She said. "I think there's someone else here."

"My soul!" He said louder. "It's bloody gone!" He looked mad. "Hey, that thing doesn't have a refund!" He yelled after the long-gone demon.

Buffy ducked behind the tombstone, and returned with a shocked expression on her face. "Ooookay." She said in a low voice. "Dawn, look back there and tell me what you see."

Dawn glanced behind the tombstone. "Spike." She said.

"What?" Said Spike. "Can we focus? I'm going through a bit of a crisis, girls!"

"It's you!" Said Dawn, jumping up and down.

Spike sat up and rolled to the right, looking behind him.

Sure enough, it was him.

"Hey!" He said. "It's a copy o' me!" He hesitated. "He's probably evil. Watch him closely."

A second pair of blue eyes fluttered open. "Buffy..." Murmured the second Spike. Then he saw...himself.

His eyes widened. "Aa!" He said, a gruff roar. "Taking on my visage, are you! Trying to...steal..." He faded off, his voice faltering, and grabbed his face. "Hey! Something's wrong!" He felt his face carefully. "You know, usually that works." He added. "Bloody hell, where'd my demon go?"

For a second both Spikes stared at each other, blue eyes staring into blue eyes. Buffy hesitated, knowing that one of them was the evil twin and would have to be staked. She was ready.

Spike, beside her, laughed. The other Spike, standing up, also laughed. They moved closer, hugging each other, giving identical pats to their own backs.

Spike turned to her, an arm over...his own shoulder. "Buffy, I would like to introduce you to Willy. Good lad. Has a soul and everything."

"And a heartbeat!" Gasped Willy. "And it's William, William the Bloody. Why do I have to be William? Can't I be Spike?"

"No, doofus, Spike is a vampire. William is a human." Said Spike patiently. He sniffed, leaning close to William's neck. "Human...with warm sweet blood flowing through his veins." He said dreamily, his face transforming, the heavy brow descending in an inhuman scowl, his eyes flashing gold.

He lunged for William's neck, only to stop, howling in pain, clutching his own head. "Ow!" He said. "Oh, right, the chip!"

William gave him an odd look. "You idiot."

Spike shook his head. "No, it's okay, that's what I have it for, those little moments when you fail me."

"Me fail you?" Asked William.

"Yeah, you're supposed to keep me out of trouble!" Growled Spike.

William rolled his eyes. "Spike, Spike, Spike..." He sighed. He glanced to Buffy. "Don't you just love this guy?" He asked. He grinned. "I know I do!" He stared at Spike. "Although, you know, the hair? It's just not working for me."

Spike stared back. "Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like such a git?" He demanded.

"We thought you knew." Said Dawn.

He rolled his eyes. "No reflection, Bit! I didn't know what I looked like!" He snapped at her. He grabbed William's head, running a hand through the hair, wiping gel off. As William's hair settled into a more curly pattern he nodded, letting him go.

William rubbed his head. "Weird." He said. Spike rubbed his own head in a similar manner.

Buffy shook her head. "Okay, naughty thoughts aside, this is kind of disturbing. What's going on?"

"Hit me." Said Spike.

"What?" Said William.

"It's okay. Even if you're chipped, I'm a demon. Hit me." Said Spike seriously.

"I can't hit you! You're me!" Said William. "What if it hurts me?"

"Hit me now!" Growled Spike. "You great bloody ponce!"

William punched Spike in the face as hard as he could. "What'd you call me?" He asked angrily, punching him again.

Spike shook his head. "That's what I thought. You hit like Harris, mate."

"What?" Squeaked William, grabbing his fist. "No!" His face was horrified.

"Yeah. He was going to split the Slayer into two halves—not us. And then, when one half of you was a normal girl, he was going to kill her."

"That's horrible." Said Buffy.

"Unfortunately for him, he missed." Said Spike, vamping out again. "And I just can't be letting demons take swings at my girl, now can I? Honey, I'm gonna go kill him."

Buffy was watching Spike, a thoughtful look on her face that was quickly turning to horror. "You just called me honey." She said.

"Well, yeah." He said with a little smirk. "What, I don't have 'honey' rights?"

"And ewww that sounded dirty." Said Dawn.

"Well, you're technically soulless right now." Said Buffy.

William put a hand on Spike's shoulder. "She's right. Technically, she's my girl, not yours."

"Don't be getting possessive, Willy, or I'll set you on fire." Said Spike calmly. "Now, soul or no soul, I'm still the demon you love, right?"

"Well..." Buffy glanced from him to William, clearly conflicted. William sighed.

"Let me make this a little easier on you." He said. He grabbed Spike by the neck. "Don't kill anyone, Spike!" He screamed in Spike's ear. "There, that better?" He asked Buffy.

"You completely missed the point." She sighed.

William frowned. "I don't see how. Anybody else not getting it?" He and Spike shared a long look. "No, how about you, Dawnster? Are you getting her point?"

"Evil soulless vampire!" Said Buffy, waving the stake in her hand.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, but you love me anyhow, right?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Argh! I'm trying to have a serious conversation!"

"It seemed like a valid point to me." Offered William. Buffy glared at him, and he threw his hands in the air in mock surrender. "Hey, human strength, here! Can't hit me, you'll kill me!"

Dawn poked William. "Ow!" He said, jumping back.

"Cool!" Said Dawn, poking him again, hard. He grabbed her wrist with all the speed he could muster, leaning forward.

"Remember, no chip!" He said. "I can hit you, slap you, knock you around, and generally beat on you all I feel like, Bit."

She frowned. "You big bully." She said half-heartedly.

He nodded firmly. "Absolutely. A little discipline is good for you. I'll tell your mum to wale the fire out you later."

She stuck her tongue out at him. He stuck his own tongue out, curling it gleefully. She actually stomped her foot. "Buffy! He's taunting me because I can't curl my tongue! Again!"

Buffy sighed. "Do I have to separate you two?" She asked wearily. "Let's go see Giles."

**

Giles was cleaning his glasses furiously, glaring at the two Spikes sitting side by side on his couch. This was it. He'd finally reached the point where he knew that nothing the Hellmouth threw at him would ever surprise him again. Ever.

"So we call this one William. Since he's human and has a soul!" Said Dawn cheerfully, bouncing up and down. William glowered at her.

"Er, how do you tell them apart?" Asked Giles.

"Silly! Touch them!" Commanded Dawn.

Both Spikes held out their right arms in unison, palm down. Giles hesitantly touched both hands.

One was as cold as ice, cold, clammy, and dead. The other was warm, and he could feel a pulse fluttering under the skin.

Giles jerked his hands back. "Ah. Quite."

Buffy was behind him, and he glanced to her for help. Unfortunately, she was merely staring at the two Spikes, her eyes slightly glazed. Giles rolled his eyes heavenward.

"All right, describe the demon again." He instructed.

Xander walked in the door. "Hey, G-Man, I got your message –aaah!" He jumped back against Anya, his eyes wide. "Holy sweet son of a perish forbid!!" He managed to babble out. "There's two of him!"

Spike rolled his eyes, and William smirked. "Aw, not happy to see me?" Asked William.

Giles coughed. "Erm." He considered explaining the situation, but decided Xander probably wouldn't understand it anyway.

Anya blinked. "There's two Spikes? Wasn't one enough, Buffy?"

"More than enough." Muttered Giles under his breath.

Spike cocked a head at him. "Vampire hearing, mate." He said brightly.

"What? What'd he say?" Asked William.

"Said one was more than enough."

Xander narrowed his eyes. "You don't have vampire hearing." He deduced, pointing at William. He advanced slowly, then poked William in the ribs.

William punched Xander in the face, knocking him to the ground. He grinned as Xander scrambled back. "Human, not neutered." He said firmly.

Giles retreated to his books, as Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Ow! Hey, what was that?" Asked Xander. "If you're human, don't you have a soul??"

"Oh, and having a soul made Spike sooo nice." Said Buffy sarcastically.

"It did too!" Said Dawn, offended.

"Dawn." Said Buffy. "Shouldn't you be...somewhere that isn't here?"

Dawn stuck out her lower lip in a pout, glancing around to see if anybody was buying it. Noting that nobody was she abandoned the pout and settled for skulking after Giles.

"Where's Willow and Riley?" Asked Xander.

"Date." Said Buffy.

"And Oz?"

Oz walked in the door at that moment. His eyes were red from lack of sleep, and his hands were very still for once. He glanced at the two Spikes, and raised one eyebrow, registering an emotion that was barely even disdain.

Spike raised a hand. "Hey, walking dead." He said.

William raised a hand. "Hey, guy-who-could-probably-beat-me-up-now." He greeted cheerfully.

Oz considered a moment. "Toth." He said finally.

"What?" Said Xander.

"He called Spike a Toth, honey." Said Anya. "It's probably some obscure insult that only Spike would understand. Maybe British. It means idiot or something."

"It's the demon." Said Oz.

Giles ran over to Oz. "What? Demon?"

Oz sighed. "Been snooping." He said. "I'll do some more." He turned and walked away.

"Toth. Are you sure?" Giles called after him. He sighed as it became apparent Oz would say no more. "Well, at least now we have a name. That's good."

"Toth. Tee oh tee aitch." Said Dawn.

"Er, yes, good guess." Said Giles.

"It's not a guess. It's what it says in this book." Said Dawn indignantly.

Giles approached her, taking the book. "Oh, yes, good work Dawn." He said. "Ancient demon. Very strong. Last survivor of the Tothric clan. It also says that for a demon he's unusually sophisticated."

"Sophisticated. So I should discuss men's fashions with him before I chop his head off?"

"They're referring to the fact that he does not fight bare-handed. He uses tools, devices. That would be this stick you mentioned."

"A stick that splits the Slayer into a vulnerable side, and a tough side." Said Spike.

William leaned back. "Why, oh why did he have to miss?" He asked, a small smile on his face. Buffy shot him a look. "Oh, what, you weren't thinking the same thing?" He asked.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Focus!" She said.

"I'm focused." Said Spike. "I wanna kick his butt. A lot, not just a little."

"Where do we find him?" Asked Buffy.

Giles examined the book. "Well, there's no mention of the types of places he might frequent."

"He had a pretty distinct smell." Said Spike.

Giles considered "Some demon rituals involve anointing with oils. Was it sort of ... sandalwoody?"

"Not even remotely. But he was very ... distinctive." Said Spike, amused.

"Well, I'll go." Said Buffy.

"I'm coming too." Said Spike.

"Now, wait!" Said William. "You're leaving me alone! If I die, you die, you know!"

"Take a multivitamin." Advised Spike, following Buffy out the door.

**

"So, you're a soulless monster of the night again. How do you feel?" Asked Buffy.

"Weird." Said Spike. "I mean, the urge to kill never went away. All I lost was William, his voice in my head, his presence, his thoughts...and I didn't really lose them, they're just a little vague now. Distant."

Buffy shook her head. "This is all wrong." She muttered.

"Because last time was different?" Spike snorted. "`M not Angel, nor Angelus, love. Sure, maybe I'm a little evil now. But I still have the chip. And I still have you."

Buffy looked at him, her face still concerned. "I don't know..." She said.

"Relax." He said. "We'll kill Toth and I'll go back. That's all."

She shook her head. "But you know..." She trailed off, and he leaned closer, pressing his face against her neck.

"I don't know." He said. "Just accept me. Maybe I am the demon half of me, but the demon half loves you just as much as the man half of me does. Just accept me." He kissed her neck and she sighed, leaning against him.

"Okay." She agreed.

"Slayer!" Said Toth.

"Oh, way to ruin the moment!" Snarled Spike. Buffy could feel his face against her neck, could feel it change, twist, into a frightful mask of inhumanity.

She kissed his cheek. "You go high, I'll go low." She said.

Spike went high, leaping through the air. Buffy charged low, keeping her head down to avoid another beam from the stick.

Spike landed beside Toth.

"Hi again. Miss me?" Asked Spike, punching Toth, sending him reeling. At that point Buffy arriving, punching Toth back towards Spike, who hit him back at her. They continued for a few more blows, bouncing the tall demon back and forth, and then Spike grabbed the stick and smashed it. He waited expectantly.

Toth staggered and fell to his knees.

"Well?" Asked Spike impatiently.

Toth chuckled. "Fool. Once split, always split."

Spike grabbed Toth by the ears. "Is that so?" He asked unpleasantly, and then snapped Toth's neck with a sudden jerk. As Toth fell Spike glowered at Buffy. "Uh, problems." He said.

**

"It was a ferula-gemina." Said Giles.

"A what?" Asked Spike and William together.

"It splits one person in half, distilling personality traits into two separate bodies." Said Giles. "And there's nothing here that says the rod can reverse the process."

Spike and William exchanged a glance. "We're stuck. Trapped without each other." Said William. "Huh. That's cool."

"Yeah, my thought exactly." Shrugged Spike.

"Does it bother NONE of you that Spike doesn't have a soul!" Bellowed Giles, staring.

"Not me." Said Buffy, shrugging.

"Or me." Said Spike.

"Me neither." Said William. "Hey, look!" He put on Giles' spare pair of reading glasses. "I can see! It's great!"

Giles snatched back the glasses. "All right, any OTHER thoughts?"

Willow and Riley came in the door holding hands. "Hey!" Said Willow. "What's up?"

"Two Spikes." Said Giles. "One is human, one has no soul."

"Oo!" Said Willow, moving closer. "Cool!"

"Argh!" Snarled Giled, clutching his head.

Riley approached Spike. "Hm, look at that. Same eyebrow scar. Same way of looking at me strangely. Psychologically, this is fascinating. Doesn't it make everyone wanna lock them in separate rooms and do experiments on them?"

Everyone gave him an odd look.

"Just me, then." Said Riley sheepishly.

"I know a spell that could help." Said Willow. "A reintegration spell."

Giles frowned. "Er, yes. That's...yes. That's perfect."

"I'll go get candles and chalk!" Said Willow excitedly, darting into the back room.

Giles shook his head. "That's, uh, an advanced spell."

Riley sighed. "I know, isn't it great!" He said with a grin. Giles frowned.

Willow returned. "Actually, it's not that hard. Their natural state is to be together. Toth's spell is doing all the work of keeping you apart. We just have to break it."

As Giles and Willow started lighting candles and marking the floor, William glanced to Spike. "We won the girl." He noted.

"We rock." Said Spike.

"Fightin` the good fight." Noted William.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Well, at least it's a fight." He said with a sigh.

"So you two," said Willow, grabbing them and marching them inside a chalk pentagram. "Stand right here. Side by side. We don't want you to end up with two fronts, now do we?"

Spike raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" He asked.

"Here we go. Brace yourselves." Said Willow, just a bit nervously.

"Hey!" Said William.

"Let the spell be ended." Said Willow.

Spike looked around, searching for William, then let out a long gasp, grabbing his chest.

"Better, honey?" Asked Buffy.

"Much." Said Spike, rubbing his chest. He grinned. "Hey, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh, sure." Said Buffy. "But what where would we get two tons of cheese and a net at this time of night, Brain?"

Spike grinned. "Great." He said.

**

Finis

**

A/N: T-t-that's all, folks! Why, yes, it is! For sure! Well, except for sequels. Let me know.