GODS!! I am royally, severely, incredibly, very, extremely, unbelievably pissed.

Someone flamed my poem, "Consuming Darkness," as revenge for flaming someone's fic more than a year ago. Frankly, I have stopped giving flames. This ignorant individual just HAPPENED to have missed the DATE of when I gave it!!!


Well anyway, I left a response. Fun fun fun. Sadly, though, I was in the middle of writing this when I received their review. It completely pissed me off and snapped me out of my "writing trance" (well, I didn't feel inspired anymore), and I JUST needed to write the thing for the last stanza!! I HATE THEM SOOOOOOO MUCH!! *cries*

 Well it's written, but probably not as good as it would be, since I am sooo mad! Oh, well.

No matter what they say, I'll continue to write. I'm not saying my fics are "excellent," or whatever. Hell, they can improve immensely. I'm just saying that I like to write, and I don't think my fics are half bad. Writing is a very subjective thing. If you don't like it, don't just say, "your fic was horrible and you can go to hell," actually tell me why it was bad. That means that I can improve if you hated it so much. Besides, at least I have OK grammar. I think. Hehe.

Man, that was long. Sorry. On with the fic.

P.S.: Hey MarcFan, you'll be the one to judge if it's a happy ending, if you read this ;)


swallowed up in the sound of my screaming

cannot cease for the fear

of silent nights

The agony is overpowering. Why am I in so much pain?

The remoteness hurts. That's it.

But I don't know how to be around people. They think I'm revolting. Even when they smile at me I can see the panic in their eyes. Why?

oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming

the goddess of imaginary light

I'm tired, but I can't sleep.

…I…never sleep.

Why don't I sleep?

Sleeping must be nice…especially dreaming. Where everything is real…

I turn over in my bed, and the covers rustle noisily. I'm now lying on my side. I wrap my arms around me warmly. My eyes sting. I sigh loudly; it's all I can do. I'm so lonely. I wish I had a friend here I could play with. No – people are mean. They all despise me; I'm nothing but a nuisance. They don't like it when I hurt them. I can't help it. Why don't they understand?

I want mommy. She understands.

in my field of paper flowers

and candy clouds of lullaby

i lie inside myself for hours

and watch my purple sky fly over me

I once had a dream. It was really lovely; everything was so calm and serene, and I just watched. There were trees and the most beautiful flowers you could ever see – and a deep, blue sky.

I wish the world could be like that. Maybe someday? If only I could stop inflicting so much pain…

But I like it, and I don't think I will.

i linger in the doorway

of alarm clock screaming monsters

calling my name

let me stay

where the wind will whisper to me

where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

They didn't like me around them. I just wish I could be free.

I miss the feeling of the wind.

I miss the feeling of the sun.

I don't know why, though. I shouldn't need anything.

I like quiet, yet I still long for noise.


if you need to leave the world you live in

lay your head down and stay a while

though you may not remember dreaming

something waits for you to breathe again

I'd love to leave this place. To just dream and be rid of it all. But…

They'll get rid of me someday. I know they will. Although… why?

I shut my eyes tightly and a dry sob forces its way from my mouth. Sickening images flash through my mind repeatedly, and I feel myself burying my head into the blankets; attempting to shut out the voices which screech raucously in my head. It subsides, and my body goes lax for a moment.

Why are they doing this? Please! I just want this! I can't stop! Why? Why are they making me? I can't. Please. I want to leave. I hate this place. It's so lonely. I'm so lonely.

I cover myself completely with the heavy blanket. The warmth spreads throughout my body.

But they'll destroy me, someday, somehow. I just know it. I can feel it in my heart. And then, I will enact my revenge.

They will all suffer as I did.

And then I will dream again.

in my field of paper flowers

and candy clouds of lullaby

i lie inside myself for hours

and watch my purple sky fly over me

I open my eyes; the coarse fabric of the pillow is scratching against my cheek. No. Wait, it isn't. I feel something wet. And…

My hand grasps something long and dewy, and just as my eyes focus, my mouth opens in astonishment. I gasp in pure disbelief at the grass clutched in my right hand.

I look up, and see the sky.


You may not get the ending….she's dreaming. ^^ Not the best of my work, but oh, well. I felt I needed to write something with Evanescence. Maybe I'll do "Whisper" next? :P Hehe. Only time will tell.