YOUTH ELIXIR TWO--"MORE INTERESTING TITLE LATER"
By Sven & Cassi (evilspoofauthors1&2.....who are laughing themselves silly about now...)
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WARNING--Reading spoofs can cause pure insanity...proceed with caution.
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**WHAT?! We told you what we'd call it. Who did not see in Cassi's Bio page, "Coming soon,
Youth Elixir Two--More Interesting Title Later!?" We did not lie to you. You just weren't paying
attention. Anyway.....this story will be quite amusing. We're bringing back the Youth Elixir and
changing more people into children....only this time we're not going to County General.....we're
going to the Caribbean.....(evil grin) I'll mention that we have a lot of notes written up for this.
As well as for when we spoof Pirates of the Caribbean. This is the third breaktime spoof we have
written the first are both under ER. One is the Youth Elixir one and the other is Jeffery.....the spider
from "Arachnophobia." If you have no clue as to what we did before..go back and read them......
we'll wait.. These wacky breaktime spoofs are done during the breaks of our spoofs.....DUH!
Anyways, if you want to know more about where we got all the characters, read the spoofs. We
have a lot of people who love them. If you really need a laugh, they really come in handy. Now
I'll give you a brief outline of when this spoof takes place and who's going to be in it.**

**Author's comments about anything in the story will be in between the little star things...like this
sentence here. Oh yeah, I (Sven) am the one commenting. Not Cassi....Sven!**

Short pause....Cassi's comments are in !@$#%$@#.....(grins) what? Couldn't help it.--Cassi

**Try harder.** !@#$$##@ Yeah, sure...later.

SIDE NOTE: If I were you, I'd read the long paragraph below, hidden within it are a lot of laughs.
I just couldn't help myself. My paragraph has gone insane!

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BRIEF OUTLINE OF WHEN THIS SPOOF TAKES PLACE AND WHO'S GOING TO BE IN IT
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WARNING--Grown adults will be turned into five year olds and will wreck Port Royal and the
Black Pearl. Proceed with extreme caution.
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This spoof takes place during our next season. This takes place after the season change in
ER....Romano has a Luke Skywalker type arm now....this also takes place before we rescued
Romano. It will happen during a breaktime in "The Spoof of Magic" --parody of the second
Xanth book "The Source of Magic" Which will be under ER....as Carter is the main star.....
By this time Jeffery is long over and Jack Sparrow, AnaMaria, and Gibbs have been on set for
awhile as well as Mr Cotton's Parrot. Also newcomers who I should mention since they'll have
cameos. The Babysitters: Mallory Pike, Kristy Thomas, Jessi Ramsey, & Claudia Kishi.....and the
annoying children they brought with them....(as if we didn't have enough already).. Claire Pike,
Margo Pike, Adam Pike, Byron Pike, Jordan Pike, Becca Ramsey, Karen Brewer, Charlotte Johansen
and of course Nicky Pike....Jack Sparrow's Assistant. **Isn't this interesting? Our Assistants
have assistants......** !@#: We're so professional.
I will also mention that by this time, both Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees are on set and set
and they hate each other. Jason is his cyborg self and Freddy....well he doesn't have any more
burns, thanks to healing elixir...**Yes, more elixir** And we burned his ridiculous sweater--see
Jurassic III....it died screaming. He also has two black gloves with retractable adamantium claws.
I will not mention what his talent is...yet! But he IS Cassi's Assistant...making him a protected
species...
**Hehehehehehehe** Anyway, that means he can't be killed. None of the Assistants or
Assistant's Assistants can die. Let me name them here.

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WARNING--Huge radioactive mutant humming birds are about to take over the world. Run for
your lives!!! They plan to make the sky fall!! They will DESTROY us ALL!!!
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SVEN'S ASSISTANTS--Chris Mason, Dor, Jack Sparrow, Lucy Knight, Pippin Took
THE ASSISTANTS ASSISTANTS--Luka Kovac, Luis Ramone, Nicky Pike, & Jumper (a big spider)
CASSI'S ASSISTANTS--Prince John, Robert Romano, Julian, Cosmo Renfro,
Elixabeth"Lizzie"Corday, Freddy Krueger
THE ASSISTANTS ASSISTANTS--Cassi's Assistants have not gotten around to having
Assistants. They were too lazy to pick any....or they just didn't like anyone that much.

**My Assistants are more spoiled. But then, one of them IS a king....his Assistant is the
big spider**!@#: Wait, soon the Assistant's Assiatants will have Assistants.....then we're not
sure where THAT will go.!@#

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Alright, now that I finished with that, let's go on. Jack Sparrow's magic talent...which will be
discovered sometime before this...not sure when. We haven't made up our minds yet. Oh right,
you want me to go ahead and spit it out. **That would be messy** Wait.....for the people who
don't read our spoofs and somehow never read the breaktime ones either. The magic talents come
from Xanth. A book by Piers Anthony......books..(27) We've been in Xanth and have several
Xanth Character in the Spoofs.....such as my assistant Dor....who can talk to things...yes I know
any drunk can talk to things...but usually the wall, vase, hat, script...etc, doesn't talk back. Dor
makes things talk.

Everyone of our characters on our set have magic talents. I have a whole list and if you really
want to know, check out the First Youth Elixir story. Several are mentioned there and also in the
spoofs on the Xanth books as well as all the other recent spoof. Spike from Buffy...not the ghost
one, that's a clone, we didn't want him to die, so we sent a clone...anyway, he can walk on anything
formed by water....like clouds, water, ice, snow, steam.....you get the point.

Oh right, my bad....you want to know Jack's talent.....which Jack? We have more then one...
(ducks flying objects.) Alright already...... His talent is Magician Class.....see Xanth books if you
want to find out what that means. Alright, he can use any talent for an hour at a time. However,
he can use only ONE talent per hour and he can't use the same talent twice in one day. So after
the hour is up, he can't use that talent until the next day. Oh yes, Lucy Knight **My assistant**
a character from ER **They killed her....EVIL ER writters...they killed Romano too!! I wonder if
Freddy is free to kill a few people...oh yeah, we brought Lucy back and we send a clone to die in
Romano's place. We did the same thing with Mark Greene.** Anyway, Lucy as been dating Jack,
when she first saw him in "A spoof of Chameleon" She leaped into his arms and asked him to
marry her. She's a Johnny Depp fan. So is our friend and visiting author....Becca Montgomery.
**See Chameleon** **Hi BECCA!!**

Ahhhh....one more thing....at the end of Chameleon (which isn't written yet) a Stork will deliver a
baby boy, to Dave Malucci and Jing-Mae Chen. Romano pushed them into a love spring. So they
ended up summoning the stork....this is Xanth, people, don't stare as if there are purple killer
monkeys eating your computer screen. **huh?** Wait another note, when "The Spoof of Magic"
takes it's break, we bring back the rest of Jack Sparrow's crew, so they can go pirating. Alright
let me get started.....Hopefully, I remembered everything that needs to be mentioned.

Um....(thinks about it) Um...well Buffy and Spike are engaged.....see Chameleon....I believe I
mentioned it in that. Time to start! Oh yeah, more that I forgot. The Lone Gunmen will be in this....
as will Ardeth, Carter, Becca Montomery, Midnight Muse "Mid", Emerald Redfern "Emmy" and
probably a lot more that will just show up. (coughSilvercough) So don't be too surprised when
you start seeing half of our spoof set characters. Although this first section is mainly Author's
and Assistants that plan this spoof out. As you'll see when I get around to starting.
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WARNING: Use severe caution....due to spoof starting right here....beware insanity breaks may
follow you home.
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CHAPTER ONE: "COUNTY GENERAL IS BORING......LET'S WRECK SOMEWHERE ELSE"
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SPOOFSET BREAKROOM **A comment here....basically this first section is ER, but since
it goes into Port Royal and it's based around Jack Sparrow so it's under Pirates. So patience,
he's not in it yet, but he will be. So don't worry about it. I hope some of you watch ER. You'll find
this somewhat amusing!!**
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Romano and Lizzie watched as Cassi and Sven threw darts at the dartboard, which was covered
with pictures of "The Evil Nazi Dyke" (Kerry Weaver**DIE!! DIE!! EVIL NAZI DYKE!!!!!**)
"Nice shot." He complemented Cassi, who had just hit "Nazi Dyke" between the eyes.

"Thank you." Cassi replied, with a grin.

Sven picked up a dart and aimed. Just as she started to throw, Lucy entered, distracting her and
the dart hit the wall....well a picture on the wall. The dart had hit the Jack Sparrow's picture between
the legs.

"Bullseye! And he wasn't even on the dartboard!!" Cassi remarked, laughing.

Sven eyed the picture and burst out laughing.

Lucy winced, as she eyed the picture. "Ouch. Don't let him see that!"

Cassi rolled her eyes. "At the moment he's out playing pirate. So I don't think we'll need to worry
about him seeing it." She pointed out. **Knowing us....it'll probably still be there when we get
back**

Sven nodded. "Yeah, he wanted to take Nicky, but his parents said no. They wouldn't let him miss
that much school."

Lucy made a face. "He's always hanging out with that kid anyway! He didn't want to take ME with
him!! Only that......"

"You're only saying that, because you're jealous." Romano retorted.

Lucy glared. "Watch it, I might do something evil to you." She shot back, and gave him the "Bizzer
sign" (See Babysitter's Club)!@#: It's an insult thing the Pike boys thought up....it seems to be
catching around the set.!@#

Romano in mock horror. "Oh NO...NO!!! NOOO!! It's the BIZZER SIGN!!! (pauses) Give me a break!"
He retorted, flatly.

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WARNING--There will be more warnings in this spoof
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Sven sighed. "I'm bored of this, my arms getting tired." She mused, thoughtfully. **It really
would be now....I sprained it. It REALLY hurts. Which is why I'm typing and NOT writing or
drawing. I've been working on the book I plan to publish.**

Romano glared. "Don't even think about coming back to County General." He growled. "Unless
you come on a day I'm NOT there! And only if you kill Kerry a few million times."

Sven jumped to her feet. "REALLY?!" She exclaimed.

Romano looked at her in annoyance. "NO!" While he thought that would be fun, he really didn't
want to go back to the hospital right now. Too many things were going on.

Sven stuck her tongue out, and rolled her eyes. "You're boring, anyway. I'm tired of trashing
hospitals...they're not big enough. No, we have someone else in mind." She stated and eyed
the picture of Jack Sparrow and Will "The Whelp" Turner. **More laughter, we're insane!**
!@#: The Whelp was in the show....what can we say? It stuck. Know what's planned for the
near future...we'll be watching Return of the King and shout out, "WHELP!" the minute Legolas
enters the show....^_^....unless you're Sven, who only wants to see the preview for Spiderman2.!@#

Lucy caught the look, and grinned. "COOL!! What are you going to do?!" She demanded, curious.
**Well she'd better let that 'look' go, they don't take to captivity**

Cassi gave a wide grin. "Youth Elixir: Take Two!"

Romano looked up, interested. This sounded like fun and it would get his mind off of the hospital.
"I'll help." He offered.

Chris entered and survayed the group. "So, who's on the torture list this time?" He wanted to know.

"Jack Sparrow." Lizzie informed him.

Chris shook his head. "What about his talent?" Chris questioned.

"He will probably be the first to remember and will then reek havoc on Port Royal....kinda like what
Rob and Lizzie did to County General...just on a larger scale...oh yes, I'm sure Pippin will come
around and play Jumanji as well. Jack will have the time of his life." Sven retorted, gleefully.

Romano shook his head. Sometimes he really wondered about the two insane authors. Especially
after they had brought in Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees. In all truth, though, he liked it on
the spoofset more then he did in the hospital.

"So this is another Youth Elixir?" Chris asked.

Cassi nodded. "Yep, we LOVE turning people five years old. It's amusing."

"How are we going to get them to drink it?" Lucy questioned, sounding somewhat curious.

Romano smiled inwardly, knowing exactly what the answer to that question would be. After all
this WAS Jack Sparrow they were talking about.

Sven grinned. "You're forgetting one thing, Lucy." She told her.

"What's that?" Lucy wanted to know.

Sven's grin widened even more. " He's Captain Jack Sparrow. Get a bottle of rum and put 'Do not
drink: May cause severe side-effects!' He'll drink it and so will his crew." She concluded.

Romano laughed. "That tells us something about him and his crew doesn't it?" He retorted,
considering it. "Remind me not to ever go there for a trip...bunch of morons."

Lizzie nodded. "Yeah."

"You mean like the fact that they all need yellow signs?" Chris announced, laughing.

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WARNING--Beware of puns....they are out to get you!!
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**Thanks to Piers Anthony and his readers.....I have a LONG list of puns!! Can you see what's
coming?! We are SO gonna trash Port Royal...Can you imagine it? "Five Year old Pirates, sack
Port Royal."** !@# Extra, extra...read all about it! Film at Eleven.!@#

"I'll make sure to bring a few." Sven replied. (the yellow signs not the puns...puns are there anyway)

"How are we going to get on the ship?" Lucy questioned.

"I'll take care of that!" Dave spoke up, turning visible. "They won't even know I'm there."

"WE!!! I CAN'T let you do that to Jack.......I'm HELPING!!" Lucy exclaimed. "Anything for Johnny
Depp!"

Sven rolled her eyes. "Poor Jack." She mused, sounding simpathetic. **A species of tics**

Lucy made a face and laughed. "Alright, maybe I'm a little obsessed." She admitted.

Romano let out a snort. "Yeah, we all remember you sitting in his lap."

Lucy reddened. "Yeah........well....his lap was comfortable....." She trailed off and looked the other
way.

Langly cleared his throat. He was standing in the doorway grinning. "Shall I have my crew install
cameras?" He asked, slyly.

"I hate to break this to you, but they don't have video cameras in that time period. You're going
to look very conspicuous setting those up." Chris pointed out, bluntly.

"It shouldn't be too hard to disguise them." Romano countered. "Lucy's talent should come in
handy for that."

"What if they get arrested trying to put them up? And what will power them? They don't have
electricity." Chris retorted.

Cassi rolled her eyes. "Like that stopped Ardeth from having a Cell-phone in the Sahara Desert
in 1934 with no cell-towers?" She pointed out. "They just work anyway. We don't ask how."

"Besides, Lucy can turn them into cameras that don't need any power to operate them, and make
them look like some sort of decoration." Romano added.

Chris nodded. "Alright, good point." He admitted.

"We're gonna need cameras on the Black Pearl and in Port Royal." Sven told Langly.

Lucy's eyes widened. "Are you going to change Will Turner and his wife, Elizabeth?"

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WARNING--The Squiggle-bugs are coming!! Only water can stop them!!! RUN RUN!!! Run to
the nearest body of water.....the pollution in the water is the only thing that kills them!!! RUN TO
YOUR NEAREST SEWER!
**Cassi swallowed two pills with tea, while hearing this warning.....and she DIDN'T spit it out!!
Nor did she choke on it. Don't try this at home.....you'll short out your keyboard.**!@# Cassi is
a professional.!@#
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"Eventually." Cassi answered.

Romano raised an eyebrow. "Another Elizabeth?" He questioned. "Do we need any more
of them?

Lizzie elbowed him.

"This one is married." Sven informed them. "To Legolas' human twin."

Romano rolled his eyes, thinking of all the "twins" that currently congragated the spoofset. It was
a good thing that the Authors had made spoof attendance optional for characters not acting. Other-
wise the set would be extremely full. Actually, it was still pretty full. Considering how many actually
lived in the adjoining apartment building that housed all the permanent members.

"I have a twin?" Legolas asked from the doorway. He had obviously heard his name mentioned and
had come to investigate.

Cassi grinned. "Yeah, you know....Like Frank Donavan and Ardeth....or Ryan Gaerity and Samuel
Gerard."

"He's human then." Legolas mused.

"With brown hair." Lucy added. "How's Tara?"

Legolas smiled. "She's doing well. She loved the visit we took to see my kin. Most of them weren't
happy that I was with a human."

Rebecca Montgomery, better known as "Becca" entered. "What's this about humans?" She
demanded.

"We were talking about Will Turner and Legolas was telling us how his kin didn't like Tara, just
because she's human." Sven supplied.

Becca nodded. "Are you planning on torturing him?" She wanted to know.

Romano shook his head. "Nah, we were saving that for Jack." He retorted, slyly.

"Captain." Becca corrected.

"Whatever." Romano shot back.

Sven eyed the two and grinned. "Actually, most of the torture is for ONE person. The person who
will get it the worst is....'Commodore Doofus Jackoff Norrington!" She announced, causing almost
everyone in the room to laugh or stare.
**Thank you Crying Child, we loved the name SO much, that we HAD to use it. We are going to
drive that poor man stark raving mad!**

"Is that his REAL name?" Romano asked, in utter disbelief. "Man, he must have been made fun of!"

Cassi grinned. "Oh yeah, sure. He got made fun of a lot in school. Nobody wanted to be his friend.
I mean would you want to be friends with someone that has a name like that?" She paused, and
handed a yellow sign to Romano. "Here's your sign!"

"Ha, ha....very funny!" Romano retorted, flatly. "So what's the Jackoff's real name?"

Sven shook her head. "No that is not his real name. An Author by the name of 'Crying Child' came
up with that one. His real name is James Norrington. He's the Commodore, and he's going to be
turned five. We're gonna crack him!" She told them.

"Are you going to torture Captain Jack?" Becca demanded, cutting into the conversation.

"Maybe a little." Sven murmured, then smiled. "Then again, it might be funner if we DIDN'T make
him forget."

Cassi nodded, in agreement. "Let's not forget AnaMaria." She remarked. "I can see it. 'Five year
old pirates sack Port Royal! Film at Eleven!'"

Romano grinned watching the two insane Authors work. He always found it amusing to watch
their creativity in progress. You never know what they'd come up with next.

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WARNING--Stay away from your socks......they might punch you!
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Lucy snickered. "Something tells me that Norrington is going to have a REALLY
bad day." She mused.

Romano frowned. "If Jack remembers his talent, he can change himself back into an adult." He
pointed out. Which could ruin everything.

"But he WON'T!" Lucy exclaimed. "As long as he's five, Norrington CAN'T hang him! He will
be able to trash that town, without any consequences."

Chris cleared his throat. "I don't plan on letting him have all the fun. I want to be five this time!!
I say we help him!!"

Julian entered. "Help who?" He wanted to know.

"The Freaky Pirate." Legolas replied. "We're gonna turn him five...as well as a few others."

"Really?" Dor questioned, following Julian in.

"That's what he said, stupid!" A dart snapped. (breaking in half) Dor glared and the offending,
broken dart, went silent.

"This is going to be fun." Langly stated, with a laugh.

Dave nodded. "I can get Lucy on the ship, and she can make the Youth Elixir rum."

"So this is the next Youth Elixir?" Dor asked.

"Yep." Sven replied, gleefully. "This is going to be fun. There won't be much left of Port Royal
when we're done."

"Let's make sure Pippin doesn't start Jumanji, again." Romano remarked, flatly. "Otherwise, there
will NEVER be anything left."

"Whatever...." Sven shot back. "Pippin does what he wants. Besides, he owes Stripe and Mohawk
a rematch."

Romano groaned. "So much for Port Royal having a chance of survival." He muttered.

Sven grinned. "We don't like boredom....it would drive me crazy!"

"Are we going to change Norrington five?" Lucy questioned.

Cassi nodded. "Yeah, we plan on cracking him!!" She answered. "REALLY cracking him. By the
time we're finished he'll be dancing the Can-can around a bonfire, singing 'A Pirate's Life For me.'"

Romano raised an eyebrow. "Right....remind me to bring the video camera." He replied,
thoughtfully. "The blackmail prices alone will skyrocket."

Dave frowned. "How exactly are we going to get on the ship, anyway? Speederbikes are loud, and
I can't make sound vanish." He admitted.

Lucy girnned. "Why don't we tell Jack and let him help us? I can call him on my cellphone!" She
announced, causing everyone in the room to stare. "What? It would help!"

"Jack Sparrow has a cellphone?!" Romano demanded.

'Captain." Becca corrected.

"Whatever." Romano replied to Becca, and then turned back to Lucy. "As if Ardeth having one
wasn't enough!"

Lucy gave a sheepish look. "I gave him one."

Sven sighed. "No, we teleport you. It'll work better. I don't want Jack to know until he's five."

"Alright." Lucy agreed.

"What's going on?" Freddy asked, from the doorway.

"Nothing!" Chorused everyone in the room....which really made us all look VERY guilty.

Freddy eyed the group. "Oh, yeah...I'm convinced. Nothing is going on." He retorted, sarcastically
and sat down pointedly. "Now what's going on?"

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FUN FACT-- Cassi does indeed have a floor underneath her beside table. She also discovered that
there are two videos holding it up. However the videos were not good....thus explaining WHY
they were holding up the table. More updates will follow.
**Look! This ISN'T a WARNING!!**
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RANDOM INSANITY BREAK# Yeah.....I know this is making this even more annoying. I didn't
even put any spoof stuff between these two.......
Here's a few reasons why helicarriers crash. So remember these the next time you have to ride in
a helicarrier. You don't want this to happen to you.
--One helicarrier crashed in San Francisco, under the assault of a giant radioactively-mutated
tyrannosaur. Another crashed in the desert, thanks to sabotage by a swarm of super-intelligent
cockroaches. And yet another had been reeling from damage wrought by a gamma-radiated man-
monster known as the Abomination. So remember, keep all of this in your mind if you have to ride
in a helicarrier.......
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**I think I should mention, that I didn't create this insanity break. It comes from a book titled......
"Spiderman: Revenge of the Sinister Six" written by Adam-Troy Castro. If anyone is interested, it
one of the most humorous books I have ever read. Anyway, I thought I'd explain a few things.**
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End section one.//Authors duck flying objects. WHAT?! We'll get Jack into it for the next
section....but we need to know if you're really interested.

FUN FACT: Cassi also learned that there was a CARPET in her closet! Cool, huh? It's almost
White! By the way, Cassi is finally moving into her new room soon. The office is not yet close
to being finished, so the computer is stuck in this awful closet for a bit longer. We swear the
current room is the size of the future Office balcony....er upstairs porch....the place where Cassi
can throw her cats out at night for making noise....it will be screened in and as the cats will refer
to it....it's a "Giant WINDOW!!!!" My cats love windows and they've never had one that they
can all play in at the same time.
Anyhow, the more reviews we get, the faster Jack Sparrow gets into the story.
BECCA: Captain.
CASSI: Whatever.
SVEN: Give us your reviews now!