I just want to jump on him, wrestle him to the floor and shag him till bits fall off him.

As Mr Humphries may or may not have said: 'Oh err'. I have discovered an element of Doctor Who I really do not remember. Jellybabies: Check. Saving the universe: Check. Silly little question marks: Check. Long lustful looks over the console: What the?

Soon they will have him mysteriously falling into every bit of water he comes across so they can recreate the Colin Firth shirt thing.

'Oh look a duck pond Doctor.'- Splash, 'Sorry.' ..

'Do you really want to go to Water World again Sam?' ..

'I just can't understand it? Why has the TARDIS been homing in on soo many wet T-Shirt competitions lately? There must be a problem with the space time continuum, eh Charlie?'

'Er yes - yes there must be.' ..

All I can say is that I am very glad they didn't start all this palaver with Sarah Jane and Number Three. That would have just been too weird. ...

'I am far more than just another Time Lord.'

She looked into the big gooey dewy puppy dog cute fluffy white kittens in a basket full of roses and photographed in soft focus then sold as cheap calendars slightly off blue/green/turquoise/aqua marine eyes that were staring unblinkingly into her own girk brown ones.

She crossed her arms, pouted in an annoying way and hurumphed. 'You're still not getting any you know!' she said determinedly.

He didn't seem to get the message. In fact he didn't seem to have a clue. This just made him all the more jumpable. He merely looked puzzled in an amazingly gorgeous manner, cocked his head adoringly and waggled his crooked fingers in a really cute way.

'Sam Sam Sam, Charley Charley Charley, Thingie Thingie Thingie.. I am just confused, so very confused and I don't know about what. whatever it is I am meant to be confused about. And it is all so very confusing. So perhaps I am confused, but perhaps I am not. But then again perhaps I am actually confusing myself into believing I am confused when I don't have to be. It is all very confusing,' he said with an endearing, yet surprisingly beatifically innocent look on his face.

She looked at his crumpled smile wrapped up in his bottle green jacket and silly haircut.

'Oh stuff it,' she said.

Then she leapt on him.