Chapter 9: The Fangirls Attack

There was a general business about Headquarters. The water balloons were being filled, the eggs loaded, and many sets of water-proof ponchos bought. No one there still had and idea what the Fellowship was planning, but keeping busy kept them from killing each other and Faramir had decided that this was A Good Thing.

"All the water balloons are filled!" Glorfindel said as she and several others set down boxes full of water balloons. Faramir nodded and looked around; trying to see who else might be done with their chores. As it turned out, everyone else was ready, too. Now all they needed was the Fellowship and their 'brilliant' plan.

"Does anyone know when the Fellowship is coming back? I'm getting bored."

Faramir jumped and looked at the girl standing next to her. "Where the crap did you come from and who are you?"

"I'm Shadowfax; I came with the Neo group."

"I can vouch for that!" Neo shouted from across Headquarters. Faramir nodded and returned to her work. Since the…unfortunate incident with Saphiras' sister, Faramir was making sure she kept tabs on everyone (which eventually meant making all the Best Buy and Zainy Brainy workers put their nametags back on).

"Anyway!" Shadowfax continued. "Do you know when the Fellowship is coming back?"

"I didn't even know they were going to leave," Faramir confessed. "Why?"

"Well, first because we're all getting bored. Second, because I think the fangirls are trying a sneak attack."

Faramir rolled her eyes. A sneak attack…what was this spat coming to? It wasn't as if any of them could attempt a sneak attack, but at least they weren't stupid enough to try anyway.

Luthien, Todd, and Laura set up three groups around the place to capture the fangirls when they got there, everyone else started working fast on a quickly developed new plan.

"Here's the deal," Faramir said to the crowd of remaining fans, "we don't know where the Fellowship is and we don't know what their plan is, but it looks as if the fangirls are going to try and attack us now."

"I see their IQ has raised a bit," muttered Rachel.

Faramir continued. "What we have to do is attack them as their coming."

"How exactly do we attack them?" Arwen asked. "I mean, we can hit them with water balloons and eggs all we want, but this isn't actual warfare, you don't win by how many of your troops are still alive."

Silence. Faramir thought about this (and the truth in it) and suddenly realized what the Fellowship was planning…


"Shh! They're going to see us!"

"Oh, don't worry, they're too busy."



The Fangirls not-so-quietly crept up on to the Fans, trying to attack them from behind when they weren't looking. Not that you already didn't know that, I just thought I'd inform you of this once again in case you forgot over the period of thirty seconds. You could have the memory of a goldfish, who knows?

Anyway! As the fangirls approached, something told them this would be something of a last stand, and if their plan worked the Fans would finally go away…


"Hurry up you slackers!" Pippin called over her shoulder as she and Legolas lead the others back towards Headquarters.

"You don't think we're too late, do you?" Gandalf asked.

"We're cutting close, but I don't think it's too late," Galadriel answered, quickly glancing down at her watch, which was currently counting down to something.

"Think Faramir figured it out?" Merry asked.

"I hope someone did…" muttered Aragorn.

"Less talking more running!" Legolas yelled. Galadriel was right; they were cutting it pretty close…


"Everyone! Places!" Luthein whispered to her group as they all hid behind anything they could find, listening to the fangirls show up.

There was a faint snap of a twig to their right, and then a crunching of leaves to their left. Luthien smiled, there was no way they could attack them from both ends and get away with it!

It wasn't until Luthien saw the ones and front and heard more from the back did she know that the Fangirls might have gotten smarter and the Fans were in trouble.


"Where were you!" Faramir demanded as the Fellowship ran into the clearing that was Headquarters.

"No time," Sam simply said.

Something moved ahead of them and all the Fans stopped. More movement; the Fangirls were here.

Galadriels' watch beeped.