The Six Medics

by: The Exile

'We bring life, we bring death. Let the impure bow down before our hole punches.'


Deep jungle. Harsh voices. A flurry of majestic birds spiralling upwards. The peace disturbed.

The battle begun.

General †bermunchkin primed his boltgun and took a few practice shots at a nearby tree. Branches were torn from it like paragraphs under the cut and paste of a file surgeon. He smiled humourlessly. The battle rage- his old and dearest friend- was beginning to fill him. He would be proud to die for Humanity this night; the souls of the fallen sung to him from their final blissful resting place in the arms of their Emperor-God. May He bless my weapon and bring me victory, prayed General †bermunchkin as he signalled to move closer to the enemy.

It was a stealth mission. They knew they were outnumbered, but they ahd the advantage of surprise and better discipline. As General †bermunchkin crawled through the lush undergrowth, he could see the feral red eyes of the Orks, feel their fetid breath upon his face. They were performing barbaric rituals, baying war chants and painting their faces with mud, arguing over who was the leader. General †bermunchkin despised the Orks over any of the Emperor's other enemies; they were an anathema to the divine light of humanity. A blood-red mist filled his senses. Many orks desrved to die for angering him.

He ran a finger over the scar on his face; it was time.

"For the Emperor! CHAAAAAAAARGE!"

"Hey! Look! Oomans! Kill 'em! WAAGH PENGUIN!"


Blue death streamed from bolters as the Space Marines charged, tearing into the enemy ranks. The Orks responded with razor-sharp hand weapons, bodily hurling themselves at the hated humans, snarling and biting. Rockets exploded as a jury-rigged Ork Dreadnought whirred and clanked its way into the fray, promptly exploding and taking out huge numbers of both sides. A Land Raider droned overhead, its lasers strafing the ground. The Ork Boss roared his contempt for the human race, inspiring his fellow Orks to fight even more ferociously. General †bermunchkin had him in his sights. If he could slay the leader, the Orks woudl be so demoralised that they would flee like the bestial cowards they really were, and planet Hydover 3 would be liberated. He aimed his bolter carefully and...

"Boyz! Run fer it!"

"What's happening? Take cover!"

General †bermunchkin looked up to the serene lime-green sky and his soul was filled with utter dread. He had never known fear like this in his entire life- it was like looking into an abyss full of demons. No, worse. He dropped his weapon and prayed. His fate was assured now; even the Emperor couldn't help him.

They had come. * * *