Often duplicated but never sung right, I wanted to get my song in homage to the fans of the great Webbed One out before anyone else took credit for it. So here, in poetry format, for the first time anywhere on the internet, in its entirety.

by Cyberwraith Nine

Spider-Fan, Spider-Fan,
Pasty, crazy-geek Spider-Fan.
Loves Stan Lee, calls his phone,
Stalks him when he's at home.
Look out!
Here comes a Spider-Fan!

Is he lame? Listen guy:
His action figures stack to the sky!
Knows the name of every foe.
God I wish he would go.
Then I'd
Be rid of that Spider-Fan!

In the chill of night,
At the comic book store,
Like a human blight,
He just reads more and more!

Spider-Fan, Spider-Fan,
Stupid loser-dork Spider-Fan:
Lots of wealth, he had blown;
Everything, he must own.
To him, Spidey's more than a hero.
Whenever you need a zero,
You'll find a Spider-Fan!

A big thanks to the Discovery Channel Store, for making sure I never had enough to do while employed there and leaving me ungodly amounts of boredom with which to create the absurdity you see above.