Disclaimer: Usual legal disclaimer. Joss and Mutant Enemy own them, I just play with them.
Author's note: Not going to say much about this story. I want you to decide. Only that it is set at the beginning of season six, shortly after "Bargaining 1 & 2"
Definitely rated R for language and sexual scenes.
I am standing here, looking at this. And I can't believe what I am reading:
BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS
SHE SAVED THE WORLD
I touch the stone, to convince myself it is real.
I never wanted this , B. Never in my darkest dreams did I want to be standing here, seeing this.
" Sorry I am so late, B. I sensed something had happened last spring. But not until Angel told me did I know."
" I woulda come sooner, but I was … unavoidably detained" Yeah, prison'll do that for ya.
" I don't know what to say, B. I was so angry with you for so long. And now, I really don't even know why"
"Sucha waste, B. Sucha big fat waste. All the time gone. We danced this dance, this dance of hating each other."
" Thing was B, guess I can tell you now. I never really hated you. Yeah, I know, you'll buy that one same time they sell lift tickets in hell, but I didn't hate you. Angry when you left me to twist in the wind over killing Alan Finch. How you tried to tell me what I must do. How you didn't see how I was hurting, how I needed someone( needed YOU) to tell me it was gonna be ok. Mad? You betcha. Wanna beat you to a bloody pulp. You can bet your cute ass on that one, B. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. But hate? No. wouldn't. couldn't."
" I bet to your dying day you believed I hated you. But it is a fucking lie. I never hated you. Not for a moment."
" But now it is too late, too late to tell you what I felt. Good ol' Faith. Always late to the party. Count on it."
" Damn you, Buffy Summers. You got me again, didn't you? Got away clean, before I could let you know"
" Always good at wiggling away, and leaving me holding the bag."
" Not this time B. You can't move now. You can't get away."
" Even if you can't hear me, I'm gonna tell you anyway."
" I was crazy mad head over heels for you, you stupid bitch. I loved you with all I had, Blondie. And you couldn't see it. Wouldn't see it"
" How could you be so fucking blind, B? How could you not see? Or maybe you didn't want to see. Is that it? Is that what it was, B?"
" Wouldn't fit in your neat little world, would it , B? Loving me? Imagine what the "Scoobies" would think. Little Miss Perfect Slayer loves the bad ass Dark Slayer. Whoa, call the Enquirer folks, Buffy has gone over to the dark side."
" Why, B? Why? Was I that much of a skank? Was I that repulsive to you?"
" All I wanted, B, was one tiny little clue. One thing that told me that you loved me back. Nothin', nada, zip, zilch."
" I woulda done anything for you, B. I woulda been your slave, if you had only shown me one tiny spark. One little thing. But no, not our Perfect Buffy. Ohhhh, no. Couldn't do that. Faith is dirt. Faith is nothing… right B? That's what I was. NOTHING!"
" Ever figure maybe that might be part of why I went over to the Mayor? Why I went into the dark? EVER IN YOUR SHORT LIFE GET A CLUE , B? If you wouldn't love me, maybe I wanted you to hate me? HATE ME? ANYTHING, SO YOU WOULD SHOW SOME KINDA FEELING FOR ME?????????"
Shit, shit, damn and shit.
Whoa , Faith. Chill. That is not why you're here. Yellin' at headstones. Way to go , Faith. That'll show 'em your not Psycho-Bitch-Slayer.Yeah.
" Sorry, I am sorry B. I just lost it. Not what I wanted to do."
" I wanted to come and make amends, B. Do what I couldn't do in your life. Tell you how sorry I am for what I did to you, and to your Scoobies"
" Tell ya I wish I could take it all back, somehow. Start again. Prove myself to ya. But, I am too fucking late. Again"
" Ahhh.. B, why the hell did it all have to go to shit?"
" Why was I so wrong in loving you?"
" Goodbye, B. I am sorry. Goodbye"
I am standing here, looking down at your grave. Feelin' like crap. Hating myself for being too late.
And then a hand grips my shoulder
I whirl around, ready to fight " What the fuck…."
And you are standing there, looking at me
"B??????" I think I am gonna have a heart attack. I can't breathe.
" Faith" you say, toneless, neutral.
" You are dead…." I start, but you stop me
" The rumors of my death…are outdated" you quip…yeah…that sounds like you
"I was dead. I had jumped off the tower, that I know. Then I was here, underground. Clawing my way back to the surface. Willow had done some spell to bring me back. I was dead, then I wasn't"
Magic…shoulda known. Red musta found some escape clause.
And then suddenly, I am in your arms. You are holding me…holding me, holy shit, holding me like you are holding on for your life
" B???" I don't get this, I really don't get this.
You look up at me, and I see your eyes. Oh, god, your eyes, B. They look like …you are 1000 years old. And …haunted, trapped.
" B? What is it?" I ask, trying to understand all of this
"I was in heaven, Faith. I was in heaven. I was at peace. I was done, and could rest. I was happy, it was...beautiful, Faith. I knew everyone was all right. And I could rest. And be happy. … and they pulled me out of there. They brought me back here. It is cold here, and harsh. It is too bright, and too loud…" and you are crying, sobbing in my arms
Oh, my god, B. What have they done to you? I hold you, rock you in my arms.
" Shhh… B, it is ok" I whisper
" I hate them, Faith. I hate what they have done to me" Your body is shaking in my arms. My heart melts, thinking of your pain.
" B… B… B … it'll be ok, it's ok" I croon at you. God, how I have wanted this for so long, and now wish it had never happened. Not with you like this. Oh God, B.
" You weren't wrong, Faith"
" What?" What are you talking about, B?
" You weren't wrong"
" I don't understand"
" What you said, Faith. I heard it all. You weren't wrong. I… I .. did love you, I do love you"
Fuck B, don't do this. Don't go there unless you mean it. Don't hurt me again
" Well, B… you had a weird way of showing it" God, Why did I say that?
" Faith, oh god Faith I am sooo sorry Faith what I did to you how I treated you"
And you are kissing me. Kissing my face, kissing my lips,
hard. I am on fire….gotta stop gotta STOP NOW
" Stop…Stop…B…Stop…" I push you away
And you stand there, looking hurt, so sad… so small, I want to hold you, but I can't. Not if you don't mean it. I can bear it if you don't mean it.
And I look in your eyes, I look deeply in your eyes. and I see it there. It is there. The desire, the hunger. The passion.
" B… I can't do this alone. I can't love you alone. You have to love me back"
" I do love you Faith… I need you Faith… I need you… I need you now"
And you are on me again. Your lips hot, kissing me with a passion I have never felt. It is burning me, god Burning me. Your lips on mine are savage, demanding. You force your tongue into my mouth, not asking, but taking me. God…B, God….
We break for air…and I see the fire in your eyes. it is unquenchable. And you start to fumble with my buttons….
" No, B… not here… not here"
And we go to the cheap ass motel where I am staying. And we are barely through the door, when you are at me again. Ripping at my clothes.
" Whoa, B, whoa…this is all I have."
And I get out of my clothes as fast as I can, because you don't look like you will wait long…and you are tearing at your own clothes. And we're naked… and you grab me, and kiss me hard. So hard my lips hurt. I feel you wanting to crawl inside me, the need you have, and how it is burning you, burning me. And we fall on the bed, and you are on top of me… God, B, I never knew you were this wild. And your lips are on mine again, taking my lips, forcing me to open my mouth, forcing your tongue into my mouth oh god B I love you B .. and your hands are all over me, I can feel them … stroking and pinching and possessing me, I am yours B take me B take me…and your mouth is all over me biting me kissing me licking me Ohhh god B… and then you push yourself between my legs...I feel you pushing your mound against mine…and you are humping me, rubbing me ooooh God it is sooo good and you are making me crazy and you are biting my nipples and rubbing yourself against me, and I am … I am OOOOOOOOOOo God I am coming so hard and I feel you come and we are screaming oh GOD DAMN GOD B I LOVE YOU SO MUCH……
And we fall apart from each other…exhausted, body sore, but so fucking good. You pull me to you, but it is gentle this time. Soft, and sweet…playful, and giving. Oh B, you make me nuts, I want you so much , so for forever. And we cling to each other, and we sleep.
And I hear you waking me
" Faith, baby…wake up sleepy" you croon. God, How I have wanted to hear that
" B… I love you…so much"
" I know baby. I love you too, I want you forever"
" B. What about your life here? Your friends…your family?"
" Faith, I have no life here. I died here. I died last spring, saving them all. I am done. They brought me back, but this time I want MY choice, my desire. 'Destiny' be damned. I am tired of saving the fucking world. I want a life. And I want a life with you… only you!"
God, how long, how long in my secret dreams have I longed to hear that
"But how, B? I … I am an escaped convict. We are slayers… the Council won't just let us quit"
" We run Faith, we run as fast and as far as we need. I have some money. I have jewelry I can sell. I will take the car. They can have the rest. The house, mom's legacy. That is theirs. I don't care about it. I just care about you, being with you."
I can't believe what I am hearing. I want… her so much. I need her so much
" B.. .stop, think. This is your life you are throwing away."
" Faith, enough thinking. Enough. Yes, or no?"
" Faith… YES or NO. Decide. Because, with you or without you, I am not staying here . Not anymore. I am done with Sunnyhell forever"
Oh my god
"Yes, B. God yes. "
And then she took me again. But not violently. Gently. Sweetly. Her lips so soft, giving me such sweet torture. Her caresses light, loving. Kissing me with sweet passion, playing with my lips, her fingers setting me on sweet fire. And when she entered me with her tongue, taking me in soft gentle licks, I lost my mind. I just knew I couldn't live without her anymore… I would die if I lost her.
And we ran. We ran together. And our lives, according to the Council, are forfeit if they catch us. So we are careful, cover our tracks. Live on cash only. We changed our appearance, our identities. And we are always on guard.
But I don't care… We don't care.
Because we're together… forever.
Ok, I know I am gonna get it for this story. But it just …was there. If I offend, I apologize R&R please.