TITLE: Thirty Years Too Late

AUTHOR: Liv

RATING: G

CLASSIFICATION: Olivia/Elliot friendship

SPOILERS: "Bad Blood", Season 1

DISTRUBUTION STATEMENT: If anyone is so inclined to post this anywhere, let me know about it first.I promised you'll get the green light.and I'll be flattered

SUMMARY: Missing scene from "Bad Blood"

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I watched "Bad Blood" for like the fourth time the other day and realized that I really hate when they cut shows when a character is beginning to show emotion about something that happened, so I fixed it :o)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters on SVU, I'm only playing with them for the time being and will return them in one piece.I promise.

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Olivia Benson got in the passenger seat of the silver sedan and sighed, "He's not my father."

Nodding, her partner, Elliot Stabler asked, "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Elliot watched Olivia's lip tremble as she tried in vain to hold back the tears threatening to spill out of her trouble eyes. As soon as he pulled out into traffic, she control of the emotions she has been trying to desperately trying to keep at bay. She began sobbing, her whole body shaking violently.

"Olivia, you can't do this to yourself anymore," Elliot said while smoothing her hair with his free hand, attempting to comfort her.

She didn't respond-the tears were flowing too quickly to even choke a single word out.

Elliot knew the last place she needed to be was back at work surrounded by what was causing her pain. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Captain Cragen's private line.

"Special Victims Unit, Cragen speaking," the Captain answered.

"Captain, it's Elliot. Olivia and I won't be back in today. We were following up that 'lead' and she started feeling sick, so I'm going to take her home and make sure she gets settled," he explained. He was sure the Captain could decipher his double entendre and why being so discreet was necessary.

"No problem, Munch and Cassidy can catch today-it's been pretty slow anyway. Tell her to feel better soon," Cragen responded, he words reflecting the same double meaning his detective's had.

Elliot hung up the phone and looked over at his partner. Her sobs had quieted, but the tears still continued to roll down her cheeks. She stared blankly out the window, watching the city go by, but not really seeing what was there. Regardless of what she was looking at, her expression never changed.

They arrived at her apartment a few minutes later. Mechanically, Olivia got out of the car and started walking toward her building. Elliot followed closely behind her, sensing she needed him to be there for her. They walked into her apartment building in silence.

She unlocked her door and entered the darkened apartment. Flicking on the lights, she kicked off her shoes and sat down on the couch. Elliot tossed his coat over one of the chairs and got two glasses out of the cabinet. He filled them with water and moved back to the couch. He gave Olivia one of the glasses, then sat down next to her.

"Talk to me, 'Livia. Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," he said resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together.

She half-smiled at his comment. "I just keep feeling like if I found out who my father is, I would be able to fill this emptiness inside of me," she began. "And that I could understand why he did what he did to my mother and if he even knows I exist."

Elliot pulled Olivia into his arms. "'Liv, you shouldn't feel empty because you don't know your father. You're not any less of a person because of how you came into this world. Everyone who knows about your situation loves you anyway-no one ran screaming when they found out," he said rubbing her back gently.

"I know. I just kills me that my *father*," she spat the word as if it were poison, "is out there somewhere and chances are, he's still raping other women and I can't do a damn thing about it!" A new batch of tears began to fall.

"Olivia, since you joined SVU, you've done nothing but put away horrible criminals and prevent the crimes they would have committed. You shouldn't be upset over not being able to solve a thirty year-old rape case. I know it's your case and it's personal, but just think about this- would you have rather solved that ONE case instead of the other hundreds you did?"

Olivia was quiet for a moment. "You already know they answer to that question Elliot, and so do I. But even that isn't enough to make me feel better sometimes," she explained. "I really thought I'd finally found him today. Everything fit-the M.O., the timeline-he was *so* right for it. I thought that I had finally found the answer to the question I've been trying to answer my whole life and now, I'm back at square one."

Elliot continued to cradle Olivia's body to his own, offering her the physical comfort she needed. "I know why you want to find him, 'Liv, but I still don't understand what good it will do. No matter what happens, we can't prosecute him for your mother's rape-the statue expired a long time ago. Do you think that by knowing him you'll suddenly know yourself better? Or that it will somehow change your take on what happened? I just wish you wouldn't put yourself through this again-I care too much about you to see you like this," he said. He pushed an errant lock of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering for an extra moment.

"I can't really explain the need to know, Elliot. I know that I can't put him away for what he did-maybe that's why I keep looking-because I know that if I don't, no one else will." She paused for a moment, then looked up at him and continued. "Knowing who he is won't help me know myself better.it will just make me feel better-like I finally got some kind of justice for my mother."

"'Liv, I know you well enough to know that regardless of what I do or say, you're still going to keep digging around trying to solve this thing, but I don't want you to feel like you have to go through it alone. I will be there for you every step of the way, no matter how many bumps there are along the path. I need to know that you will come to me when you need me to be there for you, day or night. I'm only a phone call away," he said as he wiped the residual tears from her eyes.

She smiled for the first time since she began working on the case again. "I know-there's a reason you're number one on my speed dial, Stabler. I will ask for your help when I need it, after all, that's what partners are for."

Olivia wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. "You do realize that if you had been investigating the case when it happened you would have solved with no problem, right?" he asked.

"Only if you were there working the case with me, partner. Too bad we were both born thirty years too late."

It was then that Olivia decided to put her mother's case on the back burner for a while. Elliot was right; it wouldn't do her any good to find out who her father was-he was nothing more than a sperm donor anyway. She decided she'd had enough of blaming herself for being born thirty years too late to make a difference-at least for now.